pink anon back at it again (pinkaboo is such a fun nickname I love it, use it as much as you want !!)
I absolutely agree with you . I genuinely do believe Patricia T can heal and make up for what shes done (restorative and reparative justice, like you said) . Her worldview seems so framed by how she was abused in her childhood and the way it has shaped her behaviors, so I can at least understand thst healing from that involves unpacking how you process in general - its scary but often so so necessary to stop harming others
I definitely didnt grow up the same as you, im white, got diagnosed as autistic really early, and was way more religious to a point of near indoctrination (which im still unpacking to this day <//3), but even then I relate to that feeling of struggling and not knowing what was really wrong with me, only to have others try to convince me I was just wrong & needed god . Turns out im just intersex & autistic, and got badly ostracized cause of it . But even then I can say, "my experience was bad but there were things that could've made it much worse" if that makes sense ? Like you said, Patty has that blind spot of not recognizing her privilege when it comes to the nuances of experiencing stuff, but she also seems so convinced that her worldview is the correct one when it just . doesnt work like that. Its little stuff like the Pluto thing, but bigger stuff like speaking over black people and other transfems in her audience (again though, im white, and im nonbinary not transfem, so id rather center thr opinions of others more affected by what shes said)
And honestly I do agree, i genuinely want Patty to get the help she needs and the first step of that would be her cutting ties with people who only encourage her to seemingly run in circles around healing . Maybe its a bit self-centered to compare it to my own journey, but I legitimately didnt start fully healing from my trauma, from all of the sexual abuse that happened to me, until I stop centering my identity around the mess I was left as. I do understand and relate to her in how she feels like she hasn't grown past that traumatic event . but i took that step to grow, to stop being the scared 5 year old and let myself become someone beyond that . And I cant emphasize enough how i do hope she gets the chance to do that too, because she deserves to heal and become a person beyond all the trauma and stress and horror of it, but she needs to step back from an internet and friend group that keeps feeding into the damage . If that makes sense
that makes a lot of sense, pinkaboo, thank you. it's bleak right now, but if there's one thing i've learned, it's that it's only bleak when you're still going through it. once you're on the outside, you'll wonder why you ever thought it had no end.
i'm so grateful to hear that you're doing your best to unpack what happened to you, and it's not at all self centered to speak from your own experience when trying to relate to other people. the difference in my experience is mostly in intent, which is hard to convey over text, but like, there's a difference between talking about your journey to encourage someone and talking about your journey to tell someone that's the only way to do it, if that makes sense. we all experience different privileges in our upbringing - my autism made me into a star student and kept me mostly out of trouble, and my mom was and is a berry supportive parent - but at the same time, part of recognizing that privilege has to come with the acceptance that not everyone experienced that, y'know? in the same way that relating experience sometimes needs to be done with an intent to encourage and relate, acknowledging privilege sometimes needs to be done with an intent to recognize how different your experience was.
i think that's also something that patty doesn't seem to fully grasp, or at least doesn't seem to understand applies to her, which ties in to her behaving like her worldview is the only correct one. she seems to gesture at wanting to acknowledge her privilege while burying it under her trauma as if to invalidate that she was privileged at all, which, like you said, isn't how it works. being abused doesn't negate access to opportunity, to resources, and to support.
i think eventually she will take the steps necessary to start healing, when she's ready, but therein lies the rub that until she's ready, people need to know that she's still causing harm. yknow? and it's exhausting to keep track of her and to try and stay ahead of her escalation, but i really hope that people understand it's not out of malice. i'm angry, yes, but that anger comes from having to deal with being on the back foot and having to defend my position in the face of overwhelming harassment more than anything else.
