May 7, 2019
Piranha Problems
*At Popper's house, Sugar was showing a few wedding books to help with ideas for the wedding.* "So have you two thought of where you want to have your wedding at?" Popper:"Yeah, I've always dreamed of a beach wedding."
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Piranha Problems
*At Popper's house, Sugar was showing a few wedding books to help with ideas for the wedding.* "So have you two thought of where you want to have your wedding at?" Popper:"Yeah, I've always dreamed of a beach wedding."
6 more days till my birthday!
It's fucked up how you can get so heartbroken over something you never had
The anxiety of realizing you’re about to go on a vacation for a full week and most likely sharing a bed with someone who you just might love. Don’t be weird, you got this.
I got a depression spike because my friends can’t hangout with me on either of my days off and i haven’t had a social life in 2 weeks. Which doesn’t sound like long but for people with severe depression it is. And it sounds like they are all gonna hangout this weekend without me because they have it off but I don’t. That hurts my feelings but it wouldn’t be fair for me to tell them not to hang out without me. I’M SO LONELY
a personal post
This year has been horrible and wonderful, but its funny how the mind dulls and forgets about all the good and grasps onto the horrible. I left my home trying to escape my mother for a week. Only to have to come “home”. I almost got kicked out twice this year for being queer, and then for throwing a party that I had permission for. I was brought to the brink of suicide many times this year. Each sparking from my mother and the shit life has been throwing at me. My car has had the car battery explode, exhaust manifold crack, cv boot give out, with the worst timing I got in an accident costing 2k in repairs, got my first ticket on a the worst day, and now the starter is busted. I work part time and dont make much money and i’ve been in a constant state of fucked money wise. my hell spawn of a father who i havent spoken to or seen in 12 ish years because of how abusive he is, got remarried and had a son, what he always wanted. I want a relationship with my new sibling but its a horribly complicated situation that is triggering my ptsd all over again. for the first time in my entire life i found someone who i am fully attracted to and care for very very much but they do not feel the same, and here i am almost a year later and i still feel the same. this year i’ve had the most friends that i’ve ever had but i still feel so alone and im scared of pushing them away with my problems. i hate being home unless i’m alone because i cant be myself and have learned that constantly walking on eggshells is my normal. i hate my existence so much because i can never even reach a “normal”. i never have enough money to pay for myself, i can’t go to school, i cant be what i want because it doesnt really exist. I don’t fit in this world and it’s exhausting trying to. i’ve started scratching again but nothing helps. my mind floods so much. i hate this year, i hate trying so hard and never feeling like i can live.
the mind forgets the good and drowns you in the bad and its so hard to keep afloat.