So I'm not sure why it too me so damn long to finish your pirate au?! Like seriously forever, and I knew it would be amazing and obviously it did not disappoint one bit. Does Clarke always keep her ship... does she manage to sneak Lexa's for a joy ride or is the punishment death on that one?
Oh, those pirates! I miss them! Clarke keeps her own ship, sails with Lexa’s fleet under the Commander (and in the coalition). She is still the captain, but when she is spending time on the Steltrona, Octavia manages the crew just fine. Before long, Clarke and Lexa beginning running the coalition together, and the other crews accept it and do not challenge it. They bow before them both and Clexa rule the high seas.
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXIX
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII
They walk Titus to the balcony of Nia’s stronghold. The one that reaches out over the jagged rocks and cresting waves below.
He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t fight it. Doesn’t whimper or make a sound.
He stands resolute at the end.
Lexa doesn’t look away from him. The disappointment and betrayal clear on her face.
Clarke expects her to say something, but she doesn’t. She stands still and proud, her hand gripping her dagger and her coat buttoned up.
She is the Commander now. Titus may have betrayed Lexa, betrayed Clarke, but he will be punished by the Commander. His duties to keep her safe, to guide and advise her, broken the moment he helped Nia. The moment he moved against Clarke.
The moment he decided his life was worth more than his loyalty.
Lexa reaches for the knife she keeps belted on her thigh and hands it to Clarke with a small nod.
Clarke steps forward, the blade heavy in her hands. Titus finally looks at her then and all the hatred and fear she felt radiating off of him when they met is still there. It makes it easier, to slice into him. To draw blood and push him over the edge of the balcony. To send him to the sea to fight with the salt gods for his soul.
And when it is done, Lexa expels and heavy breath and marches back into the stronghold, her long coat sweeping behind her.
Xx
Clarke sits and waits for Lexa and Roan to discuss what comes next, watching their tete-a-tete from the opposite side of the room.
It becomes clear very quickly that Roan will prove a useful ally and capable leader, ready to work together to aid the coalition rather than fight.
Lexa looks astounding there. Her presence in full force as she calmly and skillfully makes her way through the negotiations. The Ice Queen may have looked regal sitting on her throne but Lexa, Lexa looks formidable and beautiful.
Majestic.
Raw.
And Clarke’s heart burns with love for her.
She wants nothing more than to kiss her, hold her in her arms. Tell her again and again how much she loves her.
But their duties are not yet finished.
And until they are, Lexa will remain as stoic and proper as always. And Clarke will sit and sulk.
Xx
Roan finally escorts them back to the Ark. They move quickly and quietly, the guards they pass bow their heads to their new leader and the Commander.
Lexa sets a quick pace and Clarke follows them both, laboring slightly after the adrenaline rush wore off. Her body sore and tender, aching and bruised.
She wants her bed.
A long, full sleep.
A certain warm body next to her.
Roan bids them farewell, bows to Lexa and shakes Clarke’s hand. “You’re one hell of a spitfire, Griffin.”
She laughs, “You have no idea, Roan.”
When she looks at Lexa, she can see the hint of a smirk, the hint of agreement on her face.
They row quickly to the Ark.
Lexa looks at her openly.
Unashamed.
“How badly are you hurt?” Her voice is quiet and private.
“Nothing a hot bath, stiff drink, and good sleep can’t fix.” She smiles at Lexa, trying to ease the worry that sits on her brow.
“Clarke,” Lexa admonishes.
“Really, Lexa. I’m okay. It’s been a long day.”
“It has.”
Lexa stops the discussion but leans into Clarke’s space. Her shoulder resting against Clarke’s, her warmth comforting.
They’re almost back to the Ark before Clarke breaks the silence again.
“When did you plan that?”
Lexa is silent.
Clarke doesn’t drop it. “I know it wasn’t with me, so when did you have the time to plan that?”
She works her jaw before she answers. “This morning. Before Roan came to collect you.”
“Did he know?”
Finally, she looks at Clarke. “Yes.”
And Clarke feels the last bit of tension leave her body. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I couldn’t risk it.”
A flare of something hot and angry flashes in Clarke’s belly. “That was foolish, Lexa.”
Lexa takes the heat that comes at her and smirks that smirk. “You think you’re the only adventurous one? Have you learned nothing about me in our dance on the seas thus far?”
She’s teasing, calming Clarke with her words and her lips.
It’s working.
Still, Clarke fights back. “I would have felt better knowing you were there with me.”
“I’m sorry, Clarke. It had to be this way.”
Clarke grumbles until they’re just under the shadow of the Ark. “I know.”
Xx
The crew is shocked when it is not Azgeda climbing on board, but their own Captain.
She greets everyone and runs down to the hold where Octavia, Raven and Murphy are being kept, throwing open the door and rushing inside to set them free.
They all tackle hug her, astounded and confused, but ecstatic.
Raven won’t let go and squeals in her ear even as they struggle to stand and join the rest of the crew on deck.
“You fucking rascal, Clarke. What the fuck is wrong with you?! How could you do that to us?” Raven is yelling but smiling and Clarke knows. There is still love there, there is still loyalty.
There is an absolute unshakeable bond that will never fade.
“I know, I know, I’m terrible and awful. I fail at friendship and piracy. I’ll explain it to you all after I get some fucking rum.”
“You better, Griff. I don’t worry over just anyone and you had us shitting bricks in here.” Murphy sasses and Clarke nods her head.
“I’m sorry for all of that. I wanted you three out of the way in case this all turned to shit. I wasn’t sure how the Ice Queen would react or if I’d even be successful.”
“Successful with what?”
“Let’s head up and I’ll explain it, yeah?”
Xx
Lexa waits until everyone is asleep before she pads quietly into Clarke’s room. Hardly knocking before opening the door just enough for her to slip in. Down to minimal clothing, just a loose shirt and her pants, her boots already unbuckled.
Clarke has been waiting for her, propped up in her bed with a book and warm under the furs.
The look on Lexa’s face makes Clarke’s heart flutter as she simply stands there looking at Clarke.
Breathing and filling the room with her energy.
Clarke feels calmer just looking at her.
“I love you.”
When she says it her shoulders relax and a smile spreads across her face. She looks giddy and alive. Even though it’s barely a whisper. Barely an acknowledgment. Like she almost can’t believe the words left her lips.
Clarke holds out her hand, signaling for her to come to bed. Grabbing the air in front of her wishing it was Lexa.
But Lexa stands still with that silly grin on her face and still doesn’t move. “I love you, Clarke.”
It comes out stronger this time. And her smile grows impossibly bigger.
“I love you, too. Now come over here so I can kiss you.”
She does. Finally. Two strides and she’s on the bed, Clarke’s face in her hands and her lips where they belong.
It’s a magical kind of kiss.
Solidifying.
Spectacular.
It reaches inside of Clarke and takes everything she’s got.
And Clarke freely hands it over.
Aware that this girl, this impossible rascal of a pirate, this astonishing being, has her heart.
Lexa moves onto the bed and settles herself on top of Clarke, kissing her neck softly and humming, happy to be here.
Happy to be with Clarke.
Clarke lets her hands roam over Lexa’s back.
Feels the moment drift into something else.
They lay quietly together for a long stretch. Breathing deeply and sharing soft, sleepy kisses.
“How are you?” Clarke finally asks, too afraid to do so before.
Lexa is quiet so long, Clarke is afraid she’s fallen asleep. But her voice is hushed when she does answer. “Sad. Frustrated.” She pauses for a long moment. “Sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Lexa props herself up and looks Clarke in the eyes, the hurt layered in her irises is plain to see. “I do, I put you in harm’s way. I didn’t control TItus when I had the chance. “
“I put my own self in harm’s way, it’s my life. I’ve always done it and I don’t plan on changing anytime soon.”
Lexa clenches her jaw.
“I’m yours now, Lexa. But I’m still me. I’m still a pirate. I’m still going to make foolish decisions and be stubborn and headstrong and probably get myself into trouble more than I should.” She pauses and pecks Lexa’s lips, “But that’s what you fell in love with.”
“I did,” Lexa smiles and deepens the kiss for a moment.
“Titus had it out for me from the beginning. As soon as he met me. Because he could see the way you looked at me.”
“And how do I look at you?” She teases and Clarke can’t help but laugh.
“Like I fell from the stars after hanging the moon.”
Lexa laughs and rolls her eyes, “I do no such thing. You are quite the liar, Griffin.”
“Hmm… think whatever you want, I know the truth!” She kisses Lexa again. Simply cannot help herself. The small kisses speaking more than words.
“We’ll argue about this tomorrow.” She says around a yawn. “Are you sore?”
“A little bit. My knees hurt, my shoulders. I’ve had worse,” Clarke shrugs it off. Pouts as Lexa stands to undress, throwing her clothes at the end of the bed.
She pulls back the furs and slides in, kissing Clarke’s stomach where Titus elbowed her. Caressing her wrists, still red and chafed from her ties. Her warm skin on Clarke’s feels better than any medicine or salve ever could.
She is gentle and loving and so soft. So different from the hardened Commander.
Clarke feels better just with the tiny brushes of her lips on all the sore, reddened parts of her skin.
Lexa hums into it before each kiss, reverent and soothing.
Clarke brushes long hair off of her face and smiles when green eyes look up and lock on her own.
When she finally settles on top of Clarke again, eyes drooping and tired, Clarke kisses the crown of her head and runs her hands along Lexa’s lithe back.
It feels right and good and perfect and Clarke falls into a deep sleep.
Xx
“Captain Griffin, are you ready to swear your allegiance to this coalition? To protect this alliance with every cannon and every weapon on your ship? To protect the way of life we have all come to willingly, with full hearts and fire in our souls? To sail with me? To keep our secrets and our myths? To swear your ship to this fleet for the good of all? For the safety and freedom of the seas?
“I am.” Clarke’s voice is steady and sure as she bows her knee before Lexa.
Lexa who stands as regal as ever before her throne. The other captains of the coalition bearing witness, as Clarke becomes a part of their group.
As Clarke and her crew and the Ark become the thirteenth piece.
Lexa nods, her eyes not as stern as they were before. The next part of her oath must be made in the Commander’s language.
They practiced every night in bed for days. Lexa teaching her the meaning, the weight of the words.
Clarke wants them to roll freely from her tongue.
Lexa speaks. Clarke repeats, “Oso kik raun, ogeda, soulou. Ai laik yu gona, ai na get raun, you.”
Lexa holds her hand out signaling for Clarke to take it.
To rise.
There is devotion on her face, for only an instant.
She nods again.
They speak the last part together.
“Yumi na teik, Won sonraun au?”
And Clarke knows the words are already true.
Has already stood next to Lexa. Faced a foe.
Taken a life.
A life that threatened them both.
It’s not even a question. There is no doubt.
The ceremonial blade is placed against Clarke’s skin, slicing into the flesh and drawing a pool of crimson to the surface. Lexa moves it to her own, slicing in the same spot and pulling the black blood above the skin.
And both move their hands over the small fire in the urn between them, squeezing their blood onto the hot coals below.
Listening to the hiss as the liquid is swallowed by the flame.
Lexa shares a look with Clarke then.
She’s not the Commander for a blink, and then two, before adjusting and addressing those around them.
“It is finished. Clarke Griffin has become the Thirteenth.” Lexa announces. Pulls Clarke beside her and presents her to the alliance, their hands clasped between them.
Xx
“Clarke,” Lexa growls.
“Hmm?”
“We’re late.”
Lexa’s hands betray her words, clinging to Clarke. Keeping her close.
Clarke doesn’t remove her lips from skin. “What’s a few more minutes, then?” She nips and feels a rush when Lexa gasps.
“We have to address the crew and you need to go back to your ship before you ruin my reputation.”
“What reputation is that? Stoic stick in the mud who never gets laid?”
Lexa’s fingers dig deeper and she growls again. “The Commander has certain expectations to maintain.”
“So do I. I never leave a girl hanging.” Clarke slides her hand lower, feeling the heat. “You’ll have to be quiet though. We don’t need the crew overhearing you, Commander.”
The ship sways beneath their feet as Clarke pushes Lexa harder against the wall of Lexa’s quarters, propping her up with her body as she slides her fingers where Lexa needs them.
“I wasn’t aware speed was your thing,” she gasps as her head lands on Clarke’s shoulder.
“It is when we haven’t had any alone time together in days.” Clarke picks up speed, using her hips to thrust.
“The work of the coalition is important,” Lexa husks. Her hips moving with Clarke’s now.
“So are you. So are we.” She adjusts her stance and dips deeper.
Lexa bites back a groan then, her breath hot and ragged against Clarke’s neck.
It only takes a minute longer before she comes on Clarke’s hand with a sharp cry, strangled as she bites Clarke’s neck. Soothing it with kisses as she comes down from the high.
Clarke helps her adjust her coat, her belt. Puts the hat back on top of her head and smiles before kissing her sweetly.
Lexa’s looks as amused as ever with Clarke. Eyes brimming with that new depth that burrows into Clarke.
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXVIII
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIXXX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII
The morning dawns quicker than she was prepared for.
Quicker than she would have liked.
Roan boards the Ark with her.
She’s bound and gagged, stripped of her weapons.
The crew all look on in surprise as some of the Azgeda board with him.
They set sail. His booming voice sounding about her ship sounds wrong.
Misplaced.
She sits in the corner, against the wood as the ship rocks in the testy waters. They’re close to Azgeda.
When the crew is busy preparing for anchor, Roan sidles up next to her. Sends her a quick smile and a wink.
He does it to calm her, but it has no effect.
She’s ready for the fight. Ready to end this once and for all.
Missing Lexa and wishing she could share this look with her. The one before battle.
The one that says I’m here, I’m with you.
Together.
Raven and Octavia and Murphy and the rest of her lot are tied up and left in the hold of the Ark. Clarke requested it. Wanted them sequestered away from the Ice Queen.
Safe and protected from her machinations.
Still it hurts as she watches them struggle and fight, their muscles pulling taut and their throats growing ragged as they claw and scratch and struggle until they’re out of sight.
Clarke pleads with them with her eyes. Tries to will them to be calm.
It’s a fruitless battle.
Xx
Guards are waiting when they land on Azgeda soil.
Roan scoffs next to her as they climb out of the water and onto shore. Everything cool and clean. An island unlike Clarke has ever seen.
“She sent the sentry, huh? Still doesn’t trust me after all these years?”
“You know how it goes, Roan. Precious goods must be watched.” A girl with dark hair and perfectly placed scars on her face looks at Clarke as she speaks. “She’ll be so pleased with you.”
“You speak as if I don’t know my own mother, Ontari.” Roan bites. It’s the most emotion he’s shown since Clarke has been with him.
Ontari doesn’t answer, she merely turns and begins leading them away, further inland.
With every step Clarke guards herself even more. Prepares for what may come. For the unthinkable.
She can hear the heavy footfalls of the crew behind her.
Roan never takes his hand off her elbow, guiding her along the pathway and providing what little reassurance he can.
Clarke remembers the quiet moments of the morning before she gathered to leave.
Waking up in Lexa’s bed.
Waking up to Lexa watching her, her furrowed brow relaxing into a soft smile when she realized Clarke was awake.
The kiss she placed on Clarke’s lips.
The one that spoke everything.
Pages and volumes of Lexa’s soul.
The one that begged silently that she come back. That she make it out of this alive.
The warmth and the love and the safety of the bubble.
She trips over something and Roan pulls her gruffly. “Careful,” he warns.
She needs to focus.
Goes over the plan one more time in her head. Tries to hold on to the calm that always seems to overcome her in Lexa’s presence.
Xx
The Ice Queen is as regal as Clarke had always pictured. She sits on her throne, a smug smirk on her face not unlike the one Roan always wears. Her eyes are pure malice as she sizes up the crew that walks into her chambers.
“My son, what have you brought for me?”
“Mother, lovely to see you as always.” He bows his head and releases Clarke. Clarke who takes a deep breath and ignores the blood pounding in her ears and the adrenaline spiking under her skin.
“Is that who I think it is?”
Roan gestures to Clarke, “Captain Griffin of the Ark, as you requested.”
“My how quickly you found her…” The Ice Queen stands from her chair and her gaze pierces through Clarke.
And she tries not to remember the last time she was bound and gagged and dragged into someone’s chambers by Roan.
“Stupid girl decided to venture into the North. She put up a good fight, but was wholly unprepared for an Azgeda group close to home and refreshed.”
Nia moves closer to Clarke, studying her further.
“She doesn’t appear to be a threat,” her voice is venom and Clarke wants nothing more than to wipe the smirk off of it. “What could our dear Lexa even see in her?”
Clarke’s hands itch then, her blood curdling when Lexa’s name leaves her lips in that degrading tone.
“Not sure, but you had it on good authority?” Roan questions, digging the needle even further into his mother.
“Someone bring me the dog.” Nia calls out over her shoulder and Clarke hears people scramble to leave the room.
She turns her attention back to Clarke. “You have a wonderful ship, Captain. It will fit into my fleet splendidly.”
She leans closer as she says it, baiting Clarke.
Clarke doesn’t give her the satisfaction, matching her glare and burning with intensity, but not struggling, not fighting.
The doors open behind her again and Titus comes into view. Beaten and bloodied.
He stares at Clarke with wide eyes.
“I see you haven’t lost your flair for dramatics, Mother.”
“Where’s the fun in that, Roan?” The guards throw Titus forward, his hands tied behind his back. He falls face first at Nia’s feet. She nudges him up with her booted foot. “Titus, is this the girl you mentioned?”
Titus’s eyes grow even wider, silently pleading for something from Clarke. Nia kicks him when he doesn’t answer quickly enough.
“Yes,” he coughs out.
“The Commander’s little plaything?” Her voice drips with animosity.
“Yes.”
She pushes him again with her boot, shoving him to the ground. He groans and her eyes whittle to fine points before she turns her attention back to Clarke.
“Seems our little Lexa has a type, girls who like to move too close to danger. Well, we will just have to teach her another lesson.” She signals to another guard and eyes her son.
And Clarke knows this is it.
Now or never.
Roan shoves her aside and she swings out of her loose bindings, grabbing the knife he tucked into the back of her belt as they left the ship. Three of the guards are taken down and dispatched before Nia can even react.
Another of Roan’s crew moves to blockade the doors as Roan hacks down the two remaining sentries. He tosses Clarke a sword and she grips both in her hands before her, slicing at the guard who comes at her and watching the blood spill from his chest.
Roan’s people move and secure the room as Nia grips at her own weapon and stands behind Ontari.
Ontari who doesn’t join the fray but who is prepared to guard her queen.
Clarke makes her way to Titus and picks him up. Holds her knife to his throat and watches as Roan handles the last of Nia’s men.
“I knew I was right about you,” Clarke whispers in his ear, pulling the knife tighter against the brittle skin of his throat.
He struggles against her, and the tip of the blade sinks into his skin drawing the smallest drop of crimson blood.
“Don’t fucking move.” She holds him tighter and Roan squares up against Ontari.
“And what is this?” Nia's words are glib, simply unfazed watching her own guards be struck down before her.
“This is a coup.”
And she laughs.
Throws her head back and laughs in the face of her son while moving away from Ontari, but only by a few steps.
“Are you going to surrender, or are you going to make me fight you?” Roan keeps his eyes on Ontari, though his words are meant for Nia.
“Silly boy, I had such high hopes for you. You could have been great. You could have been astounding. Instead, you’re just a pirate.” She spits the word at him like it’s bitter and spoiled.
Clarke watches him wince, ever so slightly at her words before he shrugs. “Better to be a pirate than a bloated ego.” He swings his sword at Ontari and the clash reverberates around the room.
A hooded figure steps into the fray then, small and unnoticeable until just this instant.
Slender hands reach up and pull the hood back and Nia gasps as Lexa’s face is revealed.
Clarke grips onto Titus tighter in her surprise. Worry working its way into her adrenaline. But Lexa looks calm.
Serene almost.
She has eyes only for Nia.
Roan tackles Ontari to the floor and disarms her, she surrenders easily after that.
Nia looks like she wants to explode. Her face red even though she tries to pull on a calm facade.
Nia screams at Ontari to get up, to fight, but Ontari shakes her head. The air shifts and Nia grows desperate, the sword in her hand looks awkward as if she’s lost the ability to wield it.
Or never had it to begin with.
Lexa steps closer and the tension in the room grows.
Her eyes are glowing again, alive and neon against her war paint. Her back straight.
Her hands empty of all weapons.
“Surrender.”
“I will never.” Nia scoffs.
“You have one chance, use it wisely.”
Nia grins, bares her teeth. “Do you think I’m scared of you, Commander? You hold no power here and you never have.”
Lexa moves closer yet. As unperturbed as Clarke has ever seen her. Almost as if she’s no longer Lexa at all but some strange creature.
“I would have let you keep your life, but now you will die by my hand.”
“You always were a big talker.” Nia grabs the sword with her other hand and attempts to block herself. She taps her foot three times and Clarke takes an elbow straight to her gut. One that sends her reeling back and almost to the ground.
Lexa falters for a second and Titus stands straighter.
Clarke cannot find her breath.
Cannot fathom the scene before her.
“What was that about surrender, Lexa?” Nia smiles and moves forward, the sword dropping down from her chest.
In one swift instant, a flash of silver leaves Lexa’s hand and buries itself in Nia’s chest.
Her eyes grow wide, grow huge. Her face pale. She staggers back and falls into her chair, gasping for air until she breathes no longer. Ontari makes a small sound from the other side of the room but Roan silences her with a look. His eyes are just as wide and disbelieving as his mother’s were.
Titus is the only one who moves. Scrambles, reaches and searches frantically for anything to shield himself as Lexa turns her attention to him.
Clarke finally stands up straight and watches the scene play before her. Her breathing still ragged and her stomach tender, but the thrill of victory thrumming through her veins.
The thrill of Lexa.
Titus finds a gun on the dead guard behind him and stands, his hands shaking as he holds it in front of him. It looks unnatural and unsteady.
It doesn’t belong. Doesn’t fit.
He pulls it up but instead of aiming it at Lexa, he points it at Clarke.
“She’s not good for you, Heda. She clouds our judgment. She will lead you down the wrong path, she will bring about your destruction.” He is angry and passionate and raving.
Neither of them move. Clarke can’t believe what is happening and Lexa is stock still barely breathing. Her jaw moving as she attempts to figure out the situation.
“Titus-”
He shoots, the only bullet in his gun lodging itself in the stone wall behind Clarke. Feet away from her.
Lexa moves quicker than Clarke has ever seen and disarms Titus in one fell swoop, twisting his arm behind him so hard and fast, a loud crack echoes around the chamber.
He cries out and drops the gun. She kicks it away and looks at Clarke, her eyes a raging sea of anger and hurt.
“No, Titus. That is you. Natrona.” Her voice is hard, is steel. Her words unforgiving. Unmoving.
Titus whimpers again pleading in another language, but Lexa silences him with another twist of her arm.
She spins them around and her eyes lock with Clarke’s. Blazing and brilliant.
“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.”
Titus crumples at her words. His face broken and bleeding. His once proud stature a thing of the past. He falls to the floor kneeling before Lexa, no longer pleading with words, but with his eyes, his demeanor.
Lexa hasn’t broken her gaze from Clarke’s, hasn’t spared him a second look. Speaks only to Clarke though they’re still in the presence of others. “The kill is yours, Clarke.”
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXVII
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI
Lexa, Clarke learns, is more than just the mythical Commander of the Steltrona.
She also happens to be the leader of an underground coalition of captains who work together to keep their way of life from falling apart. The revelation has Clarke’s head spinning but before she can ask any further questions, Lexa is calling for everyone to come back to the meeting.
When those captains file back into the room, they all bow their heads in reverence to Lexa’s title. Her mantle.
Roan bows, with a smirk. Clarke wants to slap it from his face. He meets her glare with a bigger smile and swaggers to his seat at her side.
Lexa remains standing as everyone is seated. Waits for them to settle before introducing her properly.
“Please welcome Captain of the Ark, Clarke Griffin. Her presence at this meeting of the clans has been requested by me. She is the key to defeating the threat growing from the Azgeda contingent.”
Clarke sits on her left side taking it all in. Completely in awe of yet another facet of this person she keeps thinking she knows, but who keeps surprising her.
Everything from her voice to her stature and Clarke tries her best to ignore the warmth pooling in her belly.
She misses the first few moments of the meeting trying to get herself together but slams into focus as soon as someone speaks her name.
Xx
The plan is simple.
Lure Nia into complacency with Clarke as bait, as a gift. As something to bargain with.
Clarke watches as Lexa’s jaw tightens. Her scowl a permanent fixture on her face during the proceedings.
She sits at the head chair, the large wooden throne, her back straight and her hand gripping the arm.
It wasn’t Lexa’s idea, but it’s the best one they’ve got. The most probable for success.
Clarke doesn’t trust Roan, but she knows she’ll have weapons hidden on her and the ties will be loose around her wrists. Offering up the Ark and the Captain as a power play to get to the Commander.
All of the other captains in the coalition agree, nodding their heads or speaking out with support for the idea.
It’s settled before Clarke has time to really think about it.
Lexa stands and leaves the room when it’s done, her long coat swishing behind her. The other captains who sit around the table eye her, size her up, now that the Commander is gone. Some of them she knows, some of them she’s only heard rumor of.
Of the ten, only a few remain friendly as they leave.
Roan sits next to her not moving until the room has emptied.
“I’m sorry about all that.”
“You could have told me,” Clarke snaps.
“I could have, but I was under orders not to.” He’s apologetic, which Clarke wasn’t expecting.
“You follow her even though your mother does not?”
“My mother has not been kind to our people. Refuses to change her ways with the changing seas. The Commander knows what is good and fair, the Azgeda will be better with someone who listens to her. Someone who is an active part of this alliance.”
Clarke hears the honesty in his words, the anger and frustration.
“And that person is you?”
“It is.”
“Even if it costs you your mother?”
“The Ice Queen has not been my mother for most of my life. I am but a subject to her. A pawn. A piece she can move around on her chess board.” There’s a bitterness to him, facts he’s had to come to terms with for years.
It’s only then, in that moment, that Roan becomes a trustworthy ally.
“I’ve sworn my allegiance to this alliance and this coalition.”
“Then why act like you haven’t? Why fire on my ship repeatedly, and stalk me wherever I go?”
He shrugs and smirks again, “I have to keep up appearances, Griffin. I’m not very keen on the idea of losing my head.” He shoves his chair back and holds a hand out to help her up, a gesture of goodwill. “Come on, I’ll show you to the Commander. I expect she’ll want to talk about this plan with you in private.”
There’s no innuendo in his statement, but Clarke blushes anyway. Feels that warmth rise up and take over. They walk quietly down a dim hallway lit sporadically with torches.
“Where are we?”
“The Commander will tell you once you’re officially part of the coalition. You cannot know until that point.”
“So many secrets.”
“Would you expect anything less from her?” He raises his eyebrow and studies her.
“Never.”
He stops and points, “Big door at the end, can’t miss it.”
Xx
She’s pacing.
Stalking.
Back and forth in front of the large fire that’s been lit.
Her coat still on and buckled, her scowl still marring her fine features.
The tense set of her shoulders and clenching fists match the frustrated movements.
“Lexa.”
“Stupid. Reckless. Unnecessary,” she growls.
“Lexa,” Clarke tries again, more forceful.
“Putting you in the line of fire… there are easier ways to bait her, but no one even cared to discuss them.”
Clarke moves further into the room, crossing her arms and watching Lexa go back and forth across the room, muttering to herself and to Clarke. There’s a fear there, the memories of her past blazing up between them.
Clarke knows.
It was the first thing that entered her mind when it was suggested.
It was the first thing that gave her pause.
When she slid her eyes to Lexa during the meeting she was met with only stone.
Lexa, Lexa is the champion of locking her emotions away behind her title.
But now, now they’re overflowing from her.
Pouring from her mouth, from her anxious movements, from her worried heart.
Clarke watches her prowl for long moments until she can no longer watch the way Lexa tears up her heart.
“Lex,” she whispers this time.
And for the first time since she walked in, Lexa looks up.
There’s a storm in her eyes. Raging seas. Her lips are set in a firm line and grim, so grim.
Clarke aches at the sight of it.
Of her like this.
It’s been weeks apart and now all she has is worry and frustration.
“Lexa,” it’s a plea.
Lexa crosses the room in two giant steps and sweeps her into a kiss. Her hands cradling Clarke’s cheeks and pulling her close, her lips bruising and unforgiving. Clarke moves against her, draws Lexa in, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, her back.
She’s missed this.
This side of Lexa.
The Lexa who lets go and lets her emotions run wild.
Clarke can feel how much Lexa wants her, longs for her.
Lexa’s kisses grow sloppier, her teeth nipping and sharp. She pushes Clarke, pulls her down to the floor.
Clarke begins unbuttoning her long coat, sinks to her knees with Lexa still attached to her lips. Lexa’s coat hits the floor and Clarke slides her hands under her shirt, tugging it up and off, forcing Lexa to stop for just one breath.
Lexa’s eyes are wide, black.
Charged.
She makes quick work of Clarke’s own coat, nearly ripping her shirt in the haste to see it to the floor. When she kisses Clarke again it’s with that same heat, that same passion.
She lets out a moan when their bare torsos touch. It feeds Lexa.
Her movements swifter, moving her body over Clarke. Clarke who feels the cold floor of the room against her back.
Gasping at the contrast between the cold and Lexa’s hot skin on top of her.
Her own burning and feverish with their lust.
Lexa doesn’t waste any time, slipping her hand inside Clarke’s pants. Slipping through Clarke and moaning with her. She trails her mouth down Clarke’s jaw, nipping as she moves her hand. Smiles into the skin when Clarke begins gasping, whimpering.
Rising up on her elbow to look at Clarke while she works into her. Thrusts and moves. Her pupils still blown black, her face shining and almost feral as she observes Clarke’s pleasure.
Clarke comes quick and hard, her body pulling taut as the wave pulls her under. Lexa watches, smirks, doesn’t still her hand but keeps going. Growling into her neck when Clarke wraps her legs around Lexa’s waist and pulls her deeper.
She doesn't want to stop. Doesn’t want it to end.
The way Lexa shows her feelings, unbridled and unafraid, makes the flame in her heart ignite into a wildfire.
She breaks again with Lexa’s name falling from her lips. Lexa’s smile against her cheeks. Her mouth dropping down to kiss the skin between her breasts as Clarke gasps for breath.
“Clarke?”
“Hmm?” Clarke can’t catch her breath, enthralled with everything that just happened.
“Take me to bed.”
Xx
Clarke savors Lexa.
Kisses promises into her skin. Knows that Lexa needs this, the reassurance, the strength. The feeling of skin on skin and the pounding of her heart. Lexa needs it, needs to feel all of Clarke. Needs Clarke to pull her from her spiraling thoughts.
She moves her hand and Lexa whimpers. Clarke doesn’t make her wait for it, can see the way she keens for release. Begs with her eyes.
Still she savors. Moves methodically.
Holds Lexa’s gaze, watches her fall apart. Feels the way it happens, the way her heart shatters at the look of pure adoration on display before her.
And when she tastes her, she knows that this is the true Fountain of Youth.
The true elixir, the key to everlasting life.
She would drink from this source every day knowing full well that what has grown between them is the only thing that matters.
Lexa’s hands thread into her hair, her breathy moans sending shivers down her spine, only drowned out by the clenching of her thighs as she comes again.
Lexa’s kisses are still hungry, still deep and reaching when Clarke slides her body back up to kiss swollen lips.
She wonders, truly wonders if it will ever be enough. If she will ever have enough.
But when Lexa flips her onto her back with a wicked grin, the answer is there plain for her to see.
No.
Never.
Xx
“I don’t like it.”
“I know.”
“I really, really don’t like it, Clarke.”
They’re lying in bed, facing each other. Legs woven together under the furs, hands resting on waists, heads sharing one pillow.
Clarke leans in and kisses her softly.
“There’s no other way. This is the fastest, the easiest option.”
Lexa’s eyes darken again.
“There are too many variables. It’s too risky, I can’t-”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t know that, Clarke.” She snaps, turning onto her back with a huff. Clarke watches as some of her walls come back up.
Clarke sits up and takes a deep breath. “I am not her. I’m me. I can hold my own in a fight, and Roan will be there. I am more valuable to her alive than anything else and you know that.”
“Clarke,” her voice breaks and tears well in her eyes. She doesn’t try to hide them, not this time.
“I will be okay, I will come back to you.” She reaches out and wipes away the lone tear that trickles down Lexa’s full cheek. Her heart beating wildly in her ribcage.
It builds up inside of her and cracks the last pillars of resistance.
“Besides, I just figured out that I’m in love with you, I can’t go and die before we get to have a life together.” She shrugs and smiles.
Lexa’s eyes grow almost as big as the moon at her revelation. As if she can’t understand or comprehend the words that left Clarke’s lips. There’s a question on her face that remains unasked, but Clarke answers it anyway.
“I’m in love with you. Have been for a while.” She can’t help the smile that spreads on her face as she says it, even though she’s trying to stay calm.
“Clarke.”
Lexa pulls her down. Kisses her soundly, digging her fingers into the hair at the back of Clarke’s neck to keep her there.
When she pulls away to breathe, Lexa’s smile is so wide it’s blinding.
“Clarke, I-”
“No, don’t.” Clarke places her fingers against Lexa’s lips, “Don’t say it yet. Don’t say it until this is all done, okay? Give us something to fight for.”
Lexa nods solemnly and slowly before Clarke moves her hand away. The words there unspoken in her eyes. Written on every inch of her face.
“You’re maddening, Clarke.”
“I know,” she grins wanting another kiss, but Lexa can’t stop smiling long enough to meet her lips.
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXVI
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV
Days pass.
Turn to weeks. To months.
Lexa is a ghost.
The Steltrona is nowhere to be seen on the seas. Anywhere Clarke chooses, the familiar black ship stays out of sight.
It eats at Clarke.
Digs at her.
The feelings that fluttered around her belly begin to harden. Turn to stone.
She’s sure if she jumped overboard she’d sink down, down, down.
It would be fitting...
Lexa is her siren after all.
Xx
Bellamy dogs her.
They don’t take any jobs. They hide most of their new treasure and sail. Stopping from port to port to relax.
Get drunk.
Get laid.
He doesn’t try anything again. Never follows her onto land, but hovers just out past the break. Far enough away to be seen.
Clarke drinks.
And drinks.
And turns into her bed alone every night.
Wanting to soothe the ache but unable to see anyone else but Lexa below her when she closes her eyes.
They would have heard if something befell the Steltrona.
It would have spread like fire from ship to ship.
Lexa just…
Lexa just disappeared.
Xx
Clarke decides to head north, tired and bored and needing something to occupy her mind.
“Griff, we haven’t been up there since-”
“I know.” Clarke doesn’t let Octavia finish the thought.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It will be a nice change of pace don’t you think?”
“Aye, Cap. We’ll set the course.”
“Thank you, Blake.”
Octavia shuffles her feet, turning to go, but looking back. “Do you want me to get Raven?”
“For what?”
Octavia rolls her eyes. “You’ve got that look in your eye, Griff.”
Clarke just huffs and settles back in her chair. Octavia stares at her for another moment before leaving, the dismissal clear.
Only an hour passes before Raven barges into her room.
“You should at least knock for propriety’s sake.”
Clarke is stewing.
“We both know I’ve never been very proper. Besides, the rest of the crew are all too scared or enamored with you to try any of this shit.” Raven sets a bottle of rum on the table with an expectant look at Clarke.
“What?” Clarke snaps.
“The Northern Isles? Clarke, you told me if you ever suggested it to sit you down and make sure you hadn’t lost your mind.”
“I know what I said, Reyes.”
Raven hardly flinches at her harsh tone.
“Just so we’re clear, what year was I born?”
“Cut the fucking shit.”
“Alright, alright.” She swigs from the bottle and passes it to Clarke. Clarke merely shakes her head, her stomach in knots.
“It’s been a while.”
“It has.”
“The pain will still be there.”
“I know.”
“Your mother…”
“Won’t know I’m around.”
Raven’s eyes go wide at her admission. “Then why are we doing this?”
Clarke glares, looks at the bottle and back at Raven but doesn’t say a word.
“Ah! This is about the Commander. I knew it.”
“Raven-”
“I should have seen it sooner. What’s it been? Almost three months?”
Clarke grits her teeth. Swallowing the words. Swallowing the feelings.
“Wow, you’ve really done it now, huh?”
“Done what?” She doesn’t hide the exhaustion, the ache.
“Given your heart away.” She inches closer to Clarke, empathy laced in her revelation. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”
She offers the bottle to Clarke again. Clarke accepts it, taking a long pull and feeling the burn slice at her throat as it flows to her belly.
“Nothing to soothe the hurt like some debauchery in the Northern Isles. You know, I actually think Jake would be proud.”
Clarke offers her a half smile. A throwaway, to ease the worry of her friend.
It doesn’t work, but they both pretend it does.
Xx
It happens when she least expects it.
When they least expect it.
Heavy cannon fire explodes out of the night sky just before they reach their destination.
It’s Roan.
Roan who comes like a thief in the night to spoil their plans.
It’s over before she knows it.
His crew boards her ship at record speed. The last thing she sees is a bag being thrown over her head.
The last thing she feels is the heavy butt of someone’s gun.
Xx
She wakes up alone.
The cell is dark and cold, moving beneath her.
Her head pounds and screams, causes nausea to bubble up her throat, spilling the nearly empty contents of her stomach onto the floor.
When she can breathe and calm down, she takes stock.
No other major injuries. She can feel a bruise on her chin, and an ache on her forehead, probably caused from when she fell while unconscious.
No weapons that she can feel.
Just a giant bump on her head and a hole in her pride.
He comes to see her.
She has no way to tell how much time has passed, slipping in and out of sleep. Lulled by the waves and the pain in her head.
He carries a torch and some food.
She spits at it.
“Finally caught up to me.”
He smirks, “Something like that. You should eat, Clarke.”
“Fuck off.”
He takes a bite, “It’s not poisoned. If I wanted to you dead, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Where’s my crew?”
“On the Ark.” His tone is smug, baiting.
“Which would be?”
“Where we left it.”
Clarke grits her teeth and doesn’t say another word. Doesn’t reach for the food. Doesn’t look up from the floor.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a lovely dining companion?” That smirk again. He waits. “Alright, if that’s how you want to play it.”
The door shuts behind him with a loud thud that echoes in Clarke’s ears and adds to the ache in her head.
Xx
They come to get her.
It’s been hours or days or weeks.
They come to get her and gag her mouth. Tie her hands roughly behind her back. Throw the bag back over her head.
Someone guides her.
Off the ship.
Onto shore.
Up stairs and down hallways.
The sounds of chatter perk up her ears, growing louder and louder with each step. She can hear large doors being opened, and a hush falling over the occupants of whatever room she’s in.
Someone shoves her down, rips the bag off her head.
A bright, blinding light floods her eyes and she turns her head away.
Roan begins talking, but she doesn’t hear him. Doesn’t understand what he’s saying. His voice gravelly and tired.
Someone steps closer to her.
This voice, this voice she knows.
It sets her on edge. Makes her stomach twist and turn.
“I told you to bring her to me unharmed,” Lexa bites.
“She didn’t come easy.” Clarke can hear the smile on Roan’s face. Her blood boils.
Her eyes have finally adjusted and she looks up. Drags her eyes up from the floor, up Lexa’s long legs. Her coat buttoned up and regal. The face devoid of eye black but set in stone.
Marble.
Her eyes revealing nothing.
She gestures for Roan to pick her up. “Untie her.”
“As you wish, Commander.” He makes quick work of the ropes around Clarke’s wrists. Clarke flexes her hands, aching to do something.
Aching to rid them of the familiar tingles.
It’s been months.
Months.
And her hardened feelings already begin to crack with one look at the figure before her.
“So, about our deal?” Roan pipes up again.
“We’ll talk about our deal once the issue with your mother has been handled.”
“Hey, that wasn’t what we-”
“If you wish you keep your tongue, Roan, it would be wise to stop talking.” Lexa cuts him off, everything about her wild.
Clarke feels him tense behind her.
“Leave us.” Lexa’s command leaves no room for argument.
Everyone else in the room files out. Clarke doesn’t look at them as they walk past her, too busy glaring at Lexa.
She knows they’re alone when Lexa’s shoulders fall and her posture relaxes. She looks straight up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before locking eyes with Clarke.
“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Her words are fragile, her gaze soft and apologetic. She gingerly removes the gag from Clarke’s mouth, careful not to touch her skin.
Everything from her movements to her face is full of care, of compassion.
Clarke is having none of it.
“What the hell, Lexa? You had me kidnapped? By Roan?”
“It had to be this way, I had to make sure you didn’t fall into the hands of the Ice Queen.”
“Oh, what the fuck? This is a new low even for you, Commander.” Clarke doesn’t try to hide the venom in her voice. Everything that’s been building inside of her for weeks begins swirling, spiraling.
“Clarke,” she takes a steadying breath. “Please.”
Her voice cracks and Clarke’s resolve falters.
“I haven’t seen you for weeks! Months! You disappeared into the night. I thought… I-”
“Clarke, I never meant,” she stops. “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes glaze over and it’s something Clarke’s never seen. Not with Lexa.
That’s when she knows, this isn’t anything Lexa would have planned. Is something that caught ever her off guard and unaware.
Clarke makes the decision then to listen.
“What happened?” Clarke moves into the room and pours herself some water from the pitcher at the center of the large table.
The large table with a wooden throne at the head and several smaller chairs placed around it.
“Nia.”
“I gathered that, what about Nia?” Clarke needs to hear it. Needs to know why she was kidnapped, why Lexa avoided her. Why the drama was needed. Needs another moment to recognize the switch in their conversation, in her own emotional state.
“She made a move against me.” Lexa looks hurt. Looks unsure.
Clarke’s anger fizzles, concern taking over.
“Why did you disappear?” It’s a whisper, but it feels charged.
Charged with what they had and the absence of it.
“War is brewing, Clarke.” There is steel in her spine when she admits it. “Shortly after I returned to Polis, Nia made her threats. They seemed as empty as they always do. I knew I needed to lie low, not travel. Not see you.”
She looks sheepish and her half smile alights on her face.
“I didn’t think it would be long before this round of baiting was over but she got to Titus.”
“Serves him right,” Clarke grumbles under her breath until she sees the pained expression on Lexa’s face. The way she works her jaw. She feels bad then, seeing how torn up Lexa is.
“Clarke, he knew everything.”
“Lexa, there’s no way he would have told her. If he thought I was a threat to you, there’s no way he would have cooperated with her, given up your secrets.”
“Clarke-” Her voice breaks again and she looks down. “He didn’t.”
Clarke moves forward, into her space. “Lexa, what aren’t you saying?”
The way Lexa looks at her with wide eyes glazed and fearful, shakes Clarke to the core, leaves her breathless. “He told her about you.”
Clarke doesn’t know how to respond. Can’t even begin to comprehend all of it, the kidnapping, the threats of the Ice Queen, the fact that Titus sold her out.
She can’t wrap her mind around it.
But mostly she cannot breathe with the way Lexa is looking at her like everything could fall apart any second.
“I only had a jump on her because of Roan. He came to me. Told me the plan. Offered to help me but make it look like he was still working with her.”
“What’s in it for him?”
“He’ll be made ruler of Azgeda when this is through.”
“Where’s my ship? My crew?”
“We left them in the Northern Isles. They are being cared for, don’t worry.”
“There had to have been an easier way. There are too many moving parts, what if Nia figures it out? What if she attacks my ship and I’m not there? What if this doesn’t work?” The questions come swiftly out of her, her anxiety about leaving her people behind spilling out.
Lexa crumples.
Like she can’t handle the weight of everything any longer.
Her breathing is heavy and she looks the way Clarke remembers.
Human.
Like Lexa.
It only takes a second before Clarke pulls her into her arms.
Her spirit calmed as soon as she has Lexa in her embrace.
“I’m sorry, Clarke. I’m so sorry… I couldn’t-I can’t go through that again. I couldn’t…” she starts breathing heavier struggling for air to fill her lungs.
It’s easy then, to think about Costia. About the pain Lexa went through, the scars she bears so heavily on her heart.
How she looked when she told Clarke everything.
And Clarke’s heart nearly splits when she remembers.
And she hears the things that still go unspoken between them. Feels them in between the vowels of Lexa’s pleas.
How she trembles.
And in that second it’s easy, so easy.
To forgive. To move on.
“I’m here, Lexa. I’m here. I’m here with you and I’m okay.”
Clarke holds her until she calms, until she can breathe deeply again. Lexa is warm and solid in her arms, against her chest.
“What’s a little kidnapping between friends, anyway?”
Lexa laughs into her neck and Clarke cracks a smile, rubbing her back.
“If there was any other way to get you here.”
“I’m sure there was, you just couldn’t think of it. And you didn’t have a lot of time to work with. We both know I’m the brains of the operation.”
Her laugh is even louder this time and she pulls herself off of Clarke to share a silly smile with her.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
Lexa’s lips are just as soft and full as she remembered, even more inviting after their separation. It’s tentative at first before Clarke sighs happily into it and feels Lexa relax and kiss back.
It’s short. Delicate.
Full of everything Clarke became addicted to.
“We need to plan.”
“But I just got here…”
Lexa smiles, and it’s the smile that does it.
That has Clarke kissing her again, claiming it for herself. Surrendering to how it tastes against her lips.
And this kiss is better. Solid. New.
It’s hello, I’ve missed you, I feel so much for you, all at once.
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXV
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIXXX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV
Both crews are raucous.
Drunk and enthralled.
Riches beyond measure belonging to each of them. The stuff of dreams.
Of lore.
Even Lexa smiles as she sips at her rum and eats the feast that was prepared, appearing on the table as if summoned by magic.
Clarke can’t take her eyes off of her.
And whenever Lexa looks up, her eyes find Clarke’s.
Simply drawn to each other.
She always blushes, looking at Clarke.
Her eyes are dark and secretive. But she blushes.
Clarke would tease her for being so open in front of their men, but no one pays them any mind.
Too drunk.
Too happy.
Too caught up in celebrating.
Before long, Lexa slips away.
Slinks into the shadows of the hall.
The hall that leads her to private chambers.
Clarke watches her go.
Waits.
And waits.
Until she can dip out of the room and follow.
Lexa’s words from earlier ringing in her head.
Special.
That word burns a hole straight to her heart.
She’s before Lexa’s door before she can comprehend. She knocks, but doesn’t wait for an answer before she swings the door open, shutting it quietly behind her.
Lexa is there with that smile.
Soft and shy.
And Clarke’s heart nearly pounds it’s way out of her chest. Her hands tingle and there’s an easy warmth that bubbles under her skin.
Special.
She flicks the lock on the door behind her and when she turns around Lexa is close.
So close.
But she doesn’t make a move.
Not yet.
They stand there just simply looking at each other.
Tomorrow they part, and only fate knows when they’ll meet again.
And tonight,
Tonight is it.
And so they stand there.
Taking it all in.
Clarke watches her.
Follows green eyes as they survey her face.
So soft and so open.
She feels naked under Lexa’s gaze even though she’s fully clothed.
There’s something sparkling there.
She doesn’t want to name it, doesn’t want to speak it.
But she sees it.
She knows.
It burrows inside of her chest and warms her from the inside.
An ember just for her.
A flame.
Clarke reaches out and tangles their fingers together. Needing to touch.
Not ready for anything else but this heavy moment that spans between them, but unwilling to be separated from her any longer.
Lexa is magnificent. Every single piece of her.
And Clarke finally understands with perfect clarity what it is about them.
About her.
Inevitability.
The pull, the call, the connection woven between their bodies, their souls.
It’s too big.
It’s not big enough.
Lexa finally moves like a shadow into her space.
Her warm breath hitting Clarke’s cheeks.
Her forehead resting against Clarke’s.
They don’t speak.
Another long stretch of moments.
Of silence.
Until it snaps.
And Lexa’s mouth is hot and wet against hers.
And all else is lost.
Xx
“Tell me about her.”
“Clarke?”
Clarke is propped up on her elbow. Her hand running gently along the smooth skin of Lexa’s stomach.
“Lexa.” She answers with a smile. Wanting to know Lexa’s grief but needing to be gentle.
“How do you know?”
She shrugs a half shrug with her free shoulder and allows her gaze to wander back to Lexa’s face. Pulling it away from the taut skin underneath her fingertips.
The look she finds there waiting for her is devastating.
So much of that feeling that’s been building inside her chest is on display for her and only for her on Lexa’s beautiful face.
“I hear things, I know things,” she whispers it. Not wanting to break this strange moment they’ve found themselves locked in.
“Then you already know.”
Clarke expects her voice to harden, her features to return to that implacable facade she wears so well. But it doesn’t.
“I know, but I don’t. But, I saw how you… reacted… to Echo.”
The light on Lexa’s face dims at the reminder and Clarke hates herself for ruining this moment.
Foolish and overstepping.
“And-”
“You overheard Anya.” Lexa finishes for her. Grabs Clarke’s hand, stills it from caressing skin, tightens her grip on it.
A reassurance.
“The Ice Queen has never liked me. Not since I ascended to become Commander. She’s wanted the Steltrona for herself for oh, ages.” Lexa sighs.
“Since she cannot become Commander herself, she’s made it her mission to pull every Commander under her persuasion. She wants me to do her bidding. Wage her wars. Nothing has worked, as it shouldn’t. It never has. The Commander must be alone. Without interference from outside sources. Without political ties to certain islands.”
Her eyes never leave Clarke’s. But she swallows hard before continuing her story.
“Costia was… mine. In every sense of the word. She was mine before I became Commander and she was mine after. It wasn’t hidden, we didn’t hide our love, but I knew the risks. She wouldn’t hear them. Simply refused. Said the only threat was from Nia and it was empty. No one thought she’d move against me in such a blatant way.”
Lexa chokes on the words. As if they’re hard to push past her lips. Stilted and foreign.
Clarke understands.
This is something she keeps to herself.
Doesn’t speak outloud.
“I was Commander for hardly a year before she was taken. Kidnapped on a mission from Titus, one that I had asked her to refuse. I knew how close it put her to Azgeda waters. She called me stubborn, bull headed. Her fire was... “ Lexa looks away then, takes a heavy breath. “Costia was someone you didn’t want to make angry.”
There’s a hint of a smile on her face for a second, a breath, and then it’s gone.
“She was taken. Tortured because she was mine. Nia thought she knew my secrets. That if she caused enough pain, Costia would spill them for her. That she could use Costia to get me to submit to her will. But, what she didn’t know about Costia, what so few knew about her, was that nothing, nothing would get her to betray the ones she loved.”
Clarke adjusts her grip in Lexa’s hand. Squeezes for support.
“Nia sent me back her head. Had it delivered to my bed chambers in Polis.”
At a loss for words to soothe Lexa’s scarred heart, Clarke slides back down, settles against her skin. The only comfort she can provide is to be here, to be alive. They lie together like that soaking in the quiet. In the shared space.
Lexa’s fingers trail through Clarke’s hair. Along her back. Her strong heartbeat thudding just underneath her ear.
“This is not how I imagined we’d be spending our night together.” Lexa breaks the silence first.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Clarke knows it’s silly. Knows it’s not enough. Knows that nothing she can say or do will ease the pain of Lexa losing her love like that.
Lexa kisses the crown of her head in response and settles back again.
“I want you to know my heart, Clarke.” She says it with such clarity that it takes Clarke’s breath away.
“Lex-”
“When do you leave?”
“First light.”
Lexa moves then. Nudges Clarke onto her back and settles between her legs, her nose brushing along Clarke’s cheeks, her ears. Clarke feels the way they fit together. Commits to memory the comforting weight of Lexa on top of her, grounding her to the bed.
To the world they inhabit together.
Lexa’s kiss is deep and longing.
Full of things she can’t say yet, not out loud, but things she can still pour into Clarke.
Clarke who matches her.
Her own revelations spilling from her lips against Lexa’s skin.
Embedding themselves just underneath, like tattoos only visible to the two of them.
Clarke is completely overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through her. By the warm wave building in her belly. She comes quickly and it takes her by surprise.
Lexa’s name leaves her lips in a ragged whisper with her release. Her fingers digging into the skin of Lexa’s back leaving her mark. Lexa who is right there with her. Following Clarke over the edge before she even has a chance to come down from the high. Whispering her name over and over into her ear as her body goes taut and frozen.
“Clarke, I-” her breathing is unsteady. Her face flushed, her eyes blown wide.
Clarke doesn’t let her say it. Not like this.
She leans up and kisses her, capturing her lips instead. Tasting the unsaid words and feeding the flame burning in her heart.
Xx
It feels wrong. Leaving.
For so many reasons Clarke shoves from her mind.
She guides the Ark carefully back into the open waters before hiding away in her cabin.
In her bed.
She’ll be meeting with Jaha before sundown, delivering his prize. The bad news.
She needs to harden her resolve again. Settle the raw nerves that have crept up, aching for something that she cannot have.
Not right at this moment.
And possibly not ever.
Her body tired from not sleeping. The night giving way to dawn quickly, too quickly. Filled with Lexa.
Filled with her limbs and her kisses and her smiles.
A sigh leaves her lips and she curls up, curls into herself.
She falls easily into a dreamless sleep.
Xx
“Captain, I’m going to need you to repeat that for me.”
“The City of Light has been destroyed. It no longer exists. Seems pretty easy to understand.” Clarke leans back and props her feet up on Jaha’s desk, already bored with this conversation.
“But you found it?”
“No. I found a graveyard filled with bones. Lost ships and lost dreams.” It’s the truth.
A half truth.
He doesn’t need to know the rest.
It will only add to her troubles.
“Where did the coins come from? Why have there been rumors and murmurs? I don’t think you’re being completely honest with me.” His voice hardens and he leans forward trying to read Clarke.
It won’t work. It never has.
“Not sure. Seems more likely that someone found a pile of them and decided to spread them around, rumor grew from that.” She keeps her voice full of skepticism. The skepticism that she herself felt until Lexa’s black blood and collapsing caves and the Dead Zone.
“That’s not what I’ve been hearing. Roan has been running his mouth in every tavern and every port. Says he fired on the Ark and the Steltrona. Have you been working with the Commander, Clarke?”
“It’s Captain. And you know as well as I do that I have shadows everywhere I sail. It hurts the egos of weak men to see me besting them.” She boosts herself up, allows the adrenaline to pull her forward. “Roan has been jealous of me since I got my own ship. If you’d like to believe his word over mine, then by all means.”
She stands now, adjusts her coat and picks up the bag at her feet, throwing it on the desk.
Jaha’s eyes widen as he opens it.
“Now, you can believe me or believe him but it’d be wise to remember who’s handing you that. And Thelonius, there’s much more where that came from. It’s being unloaded into your rum cellar as we speak.”
“There’s more?”
“You have your cut, as per our arrangement. Next time you have a thankless job, call Roan. You seem more pleased with his ideas than mine anyway.”
He tries to get her attention, to call out to her, but she’s already letting the door slam behind her.
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXIV
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIXXX XXI XXII XXIII
Lexa’s bruising is gone the very next day when Clarke removes the wrappings to check on her patient.
“What…?”
Lexa kisses her forehead and strokes her jaw. “Clarke, my blood is special.”
“Yes, I guess it is.” She laughs and falls onto Lexa, taking full advantage of her healed ribs.
It is only now, only in this fresh daylight, this new dawn, that she lets herself fully admire the woman moving with her. Unafraid of what it could mean. Unafraid of the feelings bubbling in her chest.
The things that almost spilled out in the middle of a magical world.
She runs her hands along Lexa’s skin, how smooth it is. How warm it becomes with her touch.
She runs her hands along Lexa’s skin and she takes stock of every piece of Lexa.
The strength hiding in the wiry muscles, belying her thin frame.
The lanky limbs that tangle with Clarke’s as if they were put on earth to do just that.
The soft touch Lexa wills into her fingers, hands. Ones that have killed.
Ones coated with more blood than Clarke will ever know.
She is so different from Clarke.
And yet, they are the same.
Xx
She doesn’t bring it up until they’re lying in bed, spent and trying to catch their breaths.
“What happened in there?”
“I found the Fountain of Youth.” Lexa is reverent, almost amazed.
Clarke gasps, “Lexa…”
“It was the center of the whole city. The water inside of it glowed with something… it just, glowed. I stared at it for a while, completely entranced. Trying to understand. The maps all say it’s everywhere else in the world except for here.” Her voice trails off.
Clarke remains silent as she gathers her thoughts.
“There were etchings all around the fountain. A story. The only way to accept the City of Light was to drink from the fountain. Just one sip and you’d have everlasting youth, everlasting life. But you could never leave.”
“That’s why… that’s why all those people were trapped there. They looked happy at first, when I first entered but then they started to turn. They looked hollow and lost.” Clarke sits up on her elbows to watch Lexa tell her story.
“Yes. It’s unfortunate, the tiles warning of the truth were written in Trigedasleng. I fear I’m the only one who was able to read it.” Lexa runs her knuckles along Clarke’s jaw as she speaks.
“The language written in your journals?”
“The language started with the First Commander. Perhaps she thought it would be enough to dissuade people from the pull of it. From the greed and vanity of the Fountain.”
“But you destroyed it. You did,” Clarke asserts.
“Yes. The key I had it was part of a missing tile. I could see right where it fit. When I placed it inside the empty spot, something clicked. The fountain turned and started shaking. The water stopped flowing and everything seemed to go still. That’s when the ground broke open. It swallowed the fountain whole like it was nothing. And I just started running, I had to get out, get to-” She pauses, her thoughts alive on her face.
The unspoken word heavy in the air for both of them to hear.
Clarke doesn’t say anything. She settles back down against Lexa and squeezes her waist. She places kisses on her collarbone, trying to get closer to her warmth, her solid realness.
“Was it sorcery?” she asks quietly, Lexa breathing deeply against the top of her hair, enjoying the stillness.
“Clarke?”
“The City of Light. What was it? It’s scaring me when I think about it.”
Lexa brushes a soft kiss on Clarke’s forehead, over her wrinkled brow, tightens her hold on Clarke’s shoulders.
“There are many things in this world we cannot explain, Clarke. Mermaids, sirens, krakens in the deep, monsters that can swallow entire ships whole, the triangle. It would be wise not to think on them too long.”
Clarke shoots up again at that, rolling her eyes and startling Lexa with her abruptness. “Come the fuck on, Lexa! We just saw the effects of eternal life and a magical city where you can’t leave once you partake in the water that flows and you don’t want me to question it?”
Lexa smirks playfully at Clarke’s confusion, “This was the downside of allowing you to complete this journey with me.”
Clarke swats at her side and Lexa groans. “I may be healed but I’m still tender.”
“Serves you right. Can you just be real with me? I’ve accepted everything so far. Especially you and your special blood or whatever.”
“I don’t know what it was, Clarke.” She shrugs, and props herself up. “I know I never expected to find the Fountain of Youth. I know I never expected to see all those bones, all those remains of the souls who were lost inside the City. I don’t know why the first Commander never prepared us for this. Never destroyed it. I am just as lost as you.” She falters a bit as she works it out in her mind, as she works it out enough to form the words to share with Clarke.
She sits up and leans closer to Clarke. “All I know is that the long line of Commanders who have served before me have all been tasked with this. But I was the one to do it. I was the one to bring down the City of Light.”
She looks proud, happy, satisfied with the outcome. Her eyes shine with it. Her skin glows. Her cheeks are full with her smile.
And Clarke, Clarke is proud too.
And struck with a very real, very scary thought.
This woman, this impossible, maddening, force of a woman, has captured her heart.
And she is completely and utterly taken with her.
Xx
They make it back to Lexa’s island faster than expected, the wind in their sails boosting them along even with a full and heavy load.
The crews have a multitude of questions when Lexa debriefs them. Healed and happy and sitting at the table with her coat off and a drink in her hand she handles them all with ease. There’s an air about her that Clarke hasn’t seen yet.
One that she enjoys, soaks up as much of it as she can to take with her.
Anya and Raven lead their captains down to the hold of the ship with conspiratorial smirks on their faces. When the lanterns fill up the dark space, Lexa gasps loudly.
“Well, fuck me,” Clarke exclaims, making it a point not to slide her eyes to Lexa. She can feel the amusement wafting off the Commander without needing the visual confirmation.
Lexa weaves through the piles. The chests spilling open with gold coins, jewels. Statues and dining ware and everything Clarke could think of.
“How the hell did you manage to get all of this in here?”
“Where there’s a will there’s a way, Commander.” Anya smiles and pats Lexa on the back, proud of herself.
“Raven, seriously, who even thought to look on the other ships?”
“Really, Clarke? You left us there like sitting ducks. What else were we supposed to do while you six had the epic adventure of a lifetime?”
Clarke just spirals into a laugh, too overcome with the past few days to even comprehend anything that’s happened. Soon Raven is cackling next to her, holding on so they don’t fall over in their spell.
When she looks up, she notices Lexa smiling at her. Something glinting in her eyes. Something warm and safe.
A laugh bubbles up from her lips and Anya shakes her head before walking away.
Xx
By some miracle, they’re able to get all of the found items off the Steltrona and spread along the shore.
The goods are evenly divided between the two ships, and what’s reserved for the members of the Ark is placed back inside. A small section marked for Jaha, barely a dent of their spoils.
What he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.
It’s a small price to pay for nearly dying while running through the collapsing City of Light.
A small peace offering for when she tells him the City does not exist.
Xx
She doesn’t mean to overhear it.
Doesn’t intend to eavesdrop.
But it happens anyway.
Stuck in the hallway leading to the large room where Lexa has set up camp, a question about the found treasure at the tip of her tongue.
A jeweled dagger tucked away and hidden in her boot. One that would look nice sitting in the Commander’s study.
Her feet stop her before her brain can catch up. Before her mind can move from the question and the gift, to what is happening in the other room.
The conversation low and quiet, intended for only those involved.
Anya’s voice takes on a new pitch, a new urgency with every hushed whisper. Her pleas seemingly falling on unwilling ears.
Lexa doesn’t even tell her to stop.
She lets Anya rant. Allows Anya to school her, to define her worries and anxieties.
To express her fear for Lexa.
The amount of care she holds in her heart for her Commander.
Clarke doesn’t mean to overhear it, but she doesn’t walk away either.
She waits, down the hall, holding her breath. Waiting for Lexa’s reply.
Waiting for something.
“Anya, why are you rehashing old history?” Lexa sounds bored.
“Because I was there. I was there that day. I was there for it all.”
“You were, and I will be forever grateful. But were you afraid I had forgotten the events in question?”
Her vowels harden and something changes.
“No, no.”
“There is no need for you to bring me these concerns. Repeatedly. I’ve heard them and I thank you for caring, but it’s none of your concern.”
“You are my Commander, your well being will always be my concern.”
Lexa sighs then, and Clarke can picture the weight falling off her shoulders with it. “I will always carry the mark Costia left on my heart. It will burn within me every day, but it is not the only thing that I carry. It cannot be the only solace I seek in this world. She, she wouldn’t have wanted that.”
“I know. I am simply reminding you to be careful. Griffin is-”
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXIII
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII
Clarke waits.
And waits.
The minutes dragging by. The time passing.
Lexa does not return.
They sky begins to flash and rumble. The ground beneath her feet shaking and shifting. Lexa must have figured out whatever it is that will bring this wicked place to its knees.
She stands stronger on the ground, clenching the dagger in her fist and vowing to wait. Not to move until Lexa is by her side.
She lasts a little while longer before she remembers the naked way Lexa looked at her. Asked this of her.
To get out.
To make it back.
It stops her heart for a moment.
How pure the ask was.
But still she cannot move. Cannot leave.
She hears footsteps grow louder, and the ground begins to shake even more.
Lexa flies out of the doorway, her eyes wild.
“Clarke! Go!” She yells and nudges Clarke before her.
And they run through the city.
Pushing people out of the way before they can push back. Yelling, flying.
She can hear Lexa just behind her, grunting and growling. Her sword hitting things, clanging with metal and flesh.
The people around them flocking to attack her, to stop her from leaving.
Clarke has to reach back a few times to shove them aside, to pull Lexa forward.
The dagger rests in her boot, ready for her to whip out and use should she need it. She feels better having it, stronger.
As if by sheer luck, she makes it back to the market, the booth she stepped through as she entered the new realm. The city now ugly and not as magical as it appeared when she arrived. The citizens seem more hollow, gaunt. Their eyes dark and listless.
If this is eternal life, she wants nothing to do with it.
The ground begins cracking and shifting under her feet, much like it did when the cave began to collapse around them. Clarke’s heart jumps into her throat as she scans the fleeing crowd for the wavy hair and war paint of the woman who was just behind her.
The sky begins to lighten then darken again. Falling into complete night, the rain pouring buckets.
“Lexa!” Clarke cries out after a particularly rough jolt under the ground. “Lexa!” she screams, her voice ragged.
No one even bothers to pay attention to her as they run and weave finding loved ones and holding on dearly. The shops around the market begin to fall apart, tear themselves in half, wares spilling into the cobblestoned street.
Clarke knows she has to go.
Knows she has to leave before she can’t.
She turns back to the booth from which she emerged, only to find it blocked. Gone. Hidden from view.
A row of people with scowling faces and clenched fists stand between her and the exit.
“Clarke,” Lexa finally appears, her voice is ragged, her eyes trying to hide pain and exhaustion. “I’ll distract them, get yourself out of here.”
“No, I’m not leaving without you.” Clarke vehemently shakes her head, her own mind running away with possibilities, strategies.
“I’ll be right behind you.” She meets Clarke’s eyes with a sad promise. It’s the kind of look Clarke has seen on the dying.
“No, Lexa.” Clarke shakes her head and grabs her dagger.
Lexa nods before she scans the angry crowd. “Clarke, they want me. I can make it, now go.”
She shoves Clarke forward through the crowd. The crowd that parts for her, and moves in around Lexa.
“Lexa, I-”
“I’ll be right behind you, Clarke.” Lexa holds her gaze and nods, her eyes clear with the fight.
With a sob, Clarke heaves herself through the collapsing door, seeing bright flash before her eyes and feeling hard ground slam into her.
Xx
“Clarke! Clarke…” Someone calls out to her. Pulls her back to reality.
It’s Octavia, hovering over her face. Cradling her head in her arms, her brow furrowed with worry.
“Oh thank god, Clarke.” She leans down and hugs her when Clarke opens her eyes and groans. Octavia helps her to her feet, brushes off her shoulders and smiles through her fear.
“Griffin, where is the Commander?” Indra’s voice is harsh, claws at the back of Clarke’s neck.
“She hasn’t come through yet?”
“No… she went in with you, why hasn’t she come out with you?” Indra rushes her, threatening and angry.
“She… she had to,” Clarke shakes her head, “Something about being Commander. She pushed me away, made me leave.”
“You left her? You left her!? Some honor, some code you live by.” Indra spits and reaches for her sword, Octavia tries to stop it, but she shoves her aside easily. Clarke can do nothing but watch her advance. Watch the anger and the fire build up in the woman before her.
She allows it to happen.
Her own punishment for going against everything she knows and leaving Lexa behind.
“Indra!” Lexa heaves herself through the doorway, before falling to her knees. She gasps for air, sweaty and bewildered.
“Lexa!” Clarke cries out, pushes Indra back and rushes to Lexa’s aid, pulling her up to standing. Something behind her seems to close. Instead of a sprawling garden behind her, Clarke sees only darkness stretching to the horizon.
An empty space. Void of life, of color.
“We have to go.” She staggers forward, tired and aching. Swinging her arm over Clarke’s shoulders and steadying herself. Indra stands there gaping and confused as she watches the comfort between the two. Clarke puts it from her mind, focusing only on the girl next to her.
“What happened? Are you alright?”
“I’ll tell you soon, but let’s get out first. This island is not safe.” She’s still gasping for breath from her run, not quite fully standing but leaning heavily on Clarke.
They move quickly back through the large manor, the wide front doors still open. Something feels heavy in Clarke’s pocket and she pulls out the coin. Or what used to be the coin.
When she holds it out to inspect in her hand, it’s merely a rusted piece of metal. No etching to be found on it. No smooth edges, no glow.
When the group walk outside they find the grounds around them littered with bones.
Bodies and corpses that have disintegrated down to nothing. Some are still clothed, while most have wasted away with the flesh that held them.
“What the-” Octavia doesn’t finish her sentence as she spins around. “What the fuck happened in there?”
“On the ship,” Lexa gasps again. Her breathing still deep, ragged.
Clarke takes a look at the makeshift graveyard they’ve entered. How different this place looks now that the City has fallen.
Each hand she lays eyes on is clutching the same rusted piece of metal that Clarke holds in her own hand.
What used to be a coin, a key.
“I thought you said there were only thirteen?” She says it only loud enough for Lexa to hear, her eyes trained on Octavia and Indra who step closer to inspect remains.
Lexa grunts with her step, trying to hide the pain as much as she can, “Originally. Thirteen like yours, there were more. Someone must have figured out a way to make more, even after the Pramheda fled.
Clarke lets that sink in, looking around the grounds as they try to hurry across. The lives lost to fantasy, to an altered reality. “You were right. This place… needed to be destroyed.”
“This is why no one ever returned from the Dead Zone,” Indra whispers aloud, scanning the ground.
“Looks that way,” Octavia replies, her eyes still wide and trying to grapple with everything around them.
The gate is still open, Murphy and Lincoln waiting patiently, weapons out and ready.
“You’ve looked better, Cap.”
“You, too, Murph. Let’s get out of here.”
Lincoln’s eyes go wide as he takes in the scene behind them, “Whoa…”
“Yeah.” Octavia grabs his elbow and pulls him forward, beginning the climb back down the long staircase to the ships.
Lexa continues leaning on Clarke as they descend. Her breathing back to normal, but her gait different. She seems drained completely, and Clarke does the best she can to prop her up, stumbling a few times in the dark, but never letting Lexa go. Ignoring the strange looks from Indra, the way the older woman wants to reach out and help her Commander. Clarke just grips tighter, hopes her steps are sure footed.
Lexa winces a few times, struggles to keep her groans quiet, but Clarke can hear them.
Attuned as ever to her.
Xx
They see the masts of the ships before they’re all the way down. The Steltrona looks heavy as she sits in the water, her hull full.
Lincoln rows them steadily back, laughing as Raven calls down to them. Her voice echoes around the still water and bounces back.
They board, Lexa climbing up last. Slowly and methodically putting one foot in front of the other on the ladder.
She swings her legs onto her ship and immediately straightens. Clarke watches as she grips her sword with both hands, as if she’s trying to draw strength from it.
“It is done. Set the course, let’s get moving.” She barks, sweeping down to her cabin.
Clarke notices Raven’s shit eating grin hasn’t left her face and motions for her to follow them down to the quarters.
“You’re never going to believe what happened while you were gone…”
“You raided the other ships and found more treasure than you’ve ever seen in your life?”
“Damn, Clarke. Way to ruin the surprise.” Raven sighs and plops herself onto Clarke’s bed, swinging her legs.
Clarke pours them both some rum, downing hers quickly and enjoying the burn that slices her throat. It makes her feel real. Alive. Here.
“She’s sitting much lower in the water than usual.”
“Yeah, it was… Clarke, listen, I don’t know what anyone was thinking by carrying this shit around and then leaving it here. By the way, why is it all here?”
“That is one very long story, Rave.” Clarke sets her hat down and runs her hand through her hair. Pulls her jacket off and changes her shirt, soaked through with sweat.
“I’m assuming you have to wait and clear it with the Commander?” Raven wiggles her eyebrows and laughs at Clarke’s annoyed face.
“It’s her story to share. It’s her ship. I’ll follow her lead.”
“Sure, Clarke.” Raven stands and leaves, poking her head back in before she’s truly gone. “I got you a couple really nice, really shiny items though.”
She cackles her way down the hall, and Clarke shakes her head as the ship below them picks up speed.
Xx
“Enter.”
Lexa is huddled on her bed with a grimace on her face when Clarke walks in a bottle of rum.
“You’re hurt.” She sets the bottle down and quickly walks over to Lexa.
“I’m fine, Clarke.”
“Lexa,” she levels a glare at the other girl and watches her wince before removing her shirt. There’s a dark bruise already spreading over her ribs on one side, stretching down to her hip.
Clarke gasps and reaches out to touch. Her instincts to heal overriding any sort of boundary that may be up between them.
Lexa flinches but Clarke holds firm.
“Looks like you broke a couple ribs. I thought you said the people in there couldn’t hurt us?” She runs her hand lightly over Lexa’s skin, trying to soothe the pain.
“They didn’t. The world started to fall apart before I got back. This is from something falling or collapsing… I don’t know. They were all piling on me and reaching for me and I just remember thinking I had to make it out.” She looks up at Clarke and her eyes are so earnest they make Clarke ache.
She leans forward and grabs Lexa’s neck, pulling her into a deep kiss. Breaking apart moments later to breathe. Resting her head against Lexa’s forehead and calming her frayed nerves.
“That was foolish.”
“I know. But I had to do it.”
“I know.”
Lexa connects their lips this time. Her hands landing on Clarke’s waist, pulling her forward. Grunting at the pain when she forgets her injuries and leans back.
“Lex,”
She’s met with a frustrated growl and pulls back, standing and assessing the bruising again. It’s a strange color, fascinating.
“This isn’t normal.”
“Neither is my blood.” Lexa teases and the realization dawns on Clarke. “How do you know so much?”
“My mother,” Clarke clears her throat. “My mother is a healer. I watched her every day before…” She sighs and Lexa reaches up, runs her hand up and down Clarke’s forearm. Patient.
Not pushing.
Never pushing.
Clarke looks down at her hands as she continues. “Before my father died, I thought I’d follow her into the field. Learn medicine. But… life had other plans.” She shrugs.
“I’m sorry about your father, Clarke. But I’m glad you’ve made a life on the sea.”
“Me too,” Clarke isn’t sure which part of Lexa’s statement she’s answering, but when she finally lifts her eyes, Lexa’s face is full of something soft and pure.
She holds it for as long as she can before it feels too heavy, too much.
“I need to wrap this.” She taps on Lexa’s side, and Lexa grunts.
“There’s some bandages down in the galley.”
“I’ll be back.”
Xx
Indra is waiting quietly outside of Lexa’s door.
“Captain,”
“Indra.”
Clarke takes a step before Indra calls out again, “Is she hurt?”
“Nothing gets by you, I see.” Clarke smirks.
“No. Not anything.” She glares at Clarke but relaxes after a long moment. “The Commander?”
“Broken ribs. She’ll be fine.”
Indra bows her head and lets out a long breath. “Take care of her, Captain.”
Clarke blushes, the meaning of Indra’s words heavy and meant for more than Lexa’s injury.
