DETERMINED to finish this stupid teacher!regulus fic today, i have had this concept since like october and been working on actually writing it since february, i love it dearly but i am so tired of having to work on it and am ready for it to be done and finished and out in the world
After much thought, I have decided on which scene I'm going to keep in chapter 1, and which one's getting scrapped, so that's a big load off my shoulders. Definitely gonna keep it in a folder for a future project it might end up fitting better, or maybe draw something based off it... Either way, I feel a lot more confident in how I want this story to go c:
I also installed the LEDs into the first shoulder piece today! It’s my first time working with LEDs, so I’m really happy they worked right off the bat! Kamui’s tutorial book helped a lot, and it was really nice having all the instructions/information in one place.
I still need to add the little silver nubs, and do the other shoulder piece and the visor, but I’m really happy to have the first one done!
Oh You’ll Find Me Between (The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea) XXV
Previously on Pirate!AU I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIXXX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV
Both crews are raucous.
Drunk and enthralled.
Riches beyond measure belonging to each of them. The stuff of dreams.
Of lore.
Even Lexa smiles as she sips at her rum and eats the feast that was prepared, appearing on the table as if summoned by magic.
Clarke can’t take her eyes off of her.
And whenever Lexa looks up, her eyes find Clarke’s.
Simply drawn to each other.
She always blushes, looking at Clarke.
Her eyes are dark and secretive. But she blushes.
Clarke would tease her for being so open in front of their men, but no one pays them any mind.
Too drunk.
Too happy.
Too caught up in celebrating.
Before long, Lexa slips away.
Slinks into the shadows of the hall.
The hall that leads her to private chambers.
Clarke watches her go.
Waits.
And waits.
Until she can dip out of the room and follow.
Lexa’s words from earlier ringing in her head.
Special.
That word burns a hole straight to her heart.
She’s before Lexa’s door before she can comprehend. She knocks, but doesn’t wait for an answer before she swings the door open, shutting it quietly behind her.
Lexa is there with that smile.
Soft and shy.
And Clarke’s heart nearly pounds it’s way out of her chest. Her hands tingle and there’s an easy warmth that bubbles under her skin.
Special.
She flicks the lock on the door behind her and when she turns around Lexa is close.
So close.
But she doesn’t make a move.
Not yet.
They stand there just simply looking at each other.
Tomorrow they part, and only fate knows when they’ll meet again.
And tonight,
Tonight is it.
And so they stand there.
Taking it all in.
Clarke watches her.
Follows green eyes as they survey her face.
So soft and so open.
She feels naked under Lexa’s gaze even though she’s fully clothed.
There’s something sparkling there.
She doesn’t want to name it, doesn’t want to speak it.
But she sees it.
She knows.
It burrows inside of her chest and warms her from the inside.
An ember just for her.
A flame.
Clarke reaches out and tangles their fingers together. Needing to touch.
Not ready for anything else but this heavy moment that spans between them, but unwilling to be separated from her any longer.
Lexa is magnificent. Every single piece of her.
And Clarke finally understands with perfect clarity what it is about them.
About her.
Inevitability.
The pull, the call, the connection woven between their bodies, their souls.
It’s too big.
It’s not big enough.
Lexa finally moves like a shadow into her space.
Her warm breath hitting Clarke’s cheeks.
Her forehead resting against Clarke’s.
They don’t speak.
Another long stretch of moments.
Of silence.
Until it snaps.
And Lexa’s mouth is hot and wet against hers.
And all else is lost.
Xx
“Tell me about her.”
“Clarke?”
Clarke is propped up on her elbow. Her hand running gently along the smooth skin of Lexa’s stomach.
“Lexa.” She answers with a smile. Wanting to know Lexa’s grief but needing to be gentle.
“How do you know?”
She shrugs a half shrug with her free shoulder and allows her gaze to wander back to Lexa’s face. Pulling it away from the taut skin underneath her fingertips.
The look she finds there waiting for her is devastating.
So much of that feeling that’s been building inside her chest is on display for her and only for her on Lexa’s beautiful face.
“I hear things, I know things,” she whispers it. Not wanting to break this strange moment they’ve found themselves locked in.
“Then you already know.”
Clarke expects her voice to harden, her features to return to that implacable facade she wears so well. But it doesn’t.
“I know, but I don’t. But, I saw how you… reacted… to Echo.”
The light on Lexa’s face dims at the reminder and Clarke hates herself for ruining this moment.
Foolish and overstepping.
“And-”
“You overheard Anya.” Lexa finishes for her. Grabs Clarke’s hand, stills it from caressing skin, tightens her grip on it.
A reassurance.
“The Ice Queen has never liked me. Not since I ascended to become Commander. She’s wanted the Steltrona for herself for oh, ages.” Lexa sighs.
“Since she cannot become Commander herself, she’s made it her mission to pull every Commander under her persuasion. She wants me to do her bidding. Wage her wars. Nothing has worked, as it shouldn’t. It never has. The Commander must be alone. Without interference from outside sources. Without political ties to certain islands.”
Her eyes never leave Clarke’s. But she swallows hard before continuing her story.
“Costia was… mine. In every sense of the word. She was mine before I became Commander and she was mine after. It wasn’t hidden, we didn’t hide our love, but I knew the risks. She wouldn’t hear them. Simply refused. Said the only threat was from Nia and it was empty. No one thought she’d move against me in such a blatant way.”
Lexa chokes on the words. As if they’re hard to push past her lips. Stilted and foreign.
Clarke understands.
This is something she keeps to herself.
Doesn’t speak outloud.
“I was Commander for hardly a year before she was taken. Kidnapped on a mission from Titus, one that I had asked her to refuse. I knew how close it put her to Azgeda waters. She called me stubborn, bull headed. Her fire was... “ Lexa looks away then, takes a heavy breath. “Costia was someone you didn’t want to make angry.”
There’s a hint of a smile on her face for a second, a breath, and then it’s gone.
“She was taken. Tortured because she was mine. Nia thought she knew my secrets. That if she caused enough pain, Costia would spill them for her. That she could use Costia to get me to submit to her will. But, what she didn’t know about Costia, what so few knew about her, was that nothing, nothing would get her to betray the ones she loved.”
Clarke adjusts her grip in Lexa’s hand. Squeezes for support.
“Nia sent me back her head. Had it delivered to my bed chambers in Polis.”
At a loss for words to soothe Lexa’s scarred heart, Clarke slides back down, settles against her skin. The only comfort she can provide is to be here, to be alive. They lie together like that soaking in the quiet. In the shared space.
Lexa’s fingers trail through Clarke’s hair. Along her back. Her strong heartbeat thudding just underneath her ear.
“This is not how I imagined we’d be spending our night together.” Lexa breaks the silence first.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Clarke knows it’s silly. Knows it’s not enough. Knows that nothing she can say or do will ease the pain of Lexa losing her love like that.
Lexa kisses the crown of her head in response and settles back again.
“I want you to know my heart, Clarke.” She says it with such clarity that it takes Clarke’s breath away.
“Lex-”
“When do you leave?”
“First light.”
Lexa moves then. Nudges Clarke onto her back and settles between her legs, her nose brushing along Clarke’s cheeks, her ears. Clarke feels the way they fit together. Commits to memory the comforting weight of Lexa on top of her, grounding her to the bed.
To the world they inhabit together.
Lexa’s kiss is deep and longing.
Full of things she can’t say yet, not out loud, but things she can still pour into Clarke.
Clarke who matches her.
Her own revelations spilling from her lips against Lexa’s skin.
Embedding themselves just underneath, like tattoos only visible to the two of them.
Clarke is completely overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through her. By the warm wave building in her belly. She comes quickly and it takes her by surprise.
Lexa’s name leaves her lips in a ragged whisper with her release. Her fingers digging into the skin of Lexa’s back leaving her mark. Lexa who is right there with her. Following Clarke over the edge before she even has a chance to come down from the high. Whispering her name over and over into her ear as her body goes taut and frozen.
“Clarke, I-” her breathing is unsteady. Her face flushed, her eyes blown wide.
Clarke doesn’t let her say it. Not like this.
She leans up and kisses her, capturing her lips instead. Tasting the unsaid words and feeding the flame burning in her heart.
Xx
It feels wrong. Leaving.
For so many reasons Clarke shoves from her mind.
She guides the Ark carefully back into the open waters before hiding away in her cabin.
In her bed.
She’ll be meeting with Jaha before sundown, delivering his prize. The bad news.
She needs to harden her resolve again. Settle the raw nerves that have crept up, aching for something that she cannot have.
Not right at this moment.
And possibly not ever.
Her body tired from not sleeping. The night giving way to dawn quickly, too quickly. Filled with Lexa.
Filled with her limbs and her kisses and her smiles.
A sigh leaves her lips and she curls up, curls into herself.
She falls easily into a dreamless sleep.
Xx
“Captain, I’m going to need you to repeat that for me.”
“The City of Light has been destroyed. It no longer exists. Seems pretty easy to understand.” Clarke leans back and props her feet up on Jaha’s desk, already bored with this conversation.
“But you found it?”
“No. I found a graveyard filled with bones. Lost ships and lost dreams.” It’s the truth.
A half truth.
He doesn’t need to know the rest.
It will only add to her troubles.
“Where did the coins come from? Why have there been rumors and murmurs? I don’t think you’re being completely honest with me.” His voice hardens and he leans forward trying to read Clarke.
It won’t work. It never has.
“Not sure. Seems more likely that someone found a pile of them and decided to spread them around, rumor grew from that.” She keeps her voice full of skepticism. The skepticism that she herself felt until Lexa’s black blood and collapsing caves and the Dead Zone.
“That’s not what I’ve been hearing. Roan has been running his mouth in every tavern and every port. Says he fired on the Ark and the Steltrona. Have you been working with the Commander, Clarke?”
“It’s Captain. And you know as well as I do that I have shadows everywhere I sail. It hurts the egos of weak men to see me besting them.” She boosts herself up, allows the adrenaline to pull her forward. “Roan has been jealous of me since I got my own ship. If you’d like to believe his word over mine, then by all means.”
She stands now, adjusts her coat and picks up the bag at her feet, throwing it on the desk.
Jaha’s eyes widen as he opens it.
“Now, you can believe me or believe him but it’d be wise to remember who’s handing you that. And Thelonius, there’s much more where that came from. It’s being unloaded into your rum cellar as we speak.”
“There’s more?”
“You have your cut, as per our arrangement. Next time you have a thankless job, call Roan. You seem more pleased with his ideas than mine anyway.”
He tries to get her attention, to call out to her, but she’s already letting the door slam behind her.
