You are all BEAUTIFUL and I hope you love yourselves in 2017 okay like live your dreams and know you're beautiful and live yourself. And even if your having a hard time loving yourselves ever, know that i love you okay
A/N: First of all I wanna say I am so sorry this took me months to update even though nobody was waiting probably, it’s finally finished! And it’s the longest thing I’ve written until now. It’s also a mess, so much is happening but at the same time I feel like it’s boring and a filler. It’s the second last part, there is one final part after this what I hope won’t take me so long. Enjoy!
part one part two
masterlist
He woke up once again with you in his bed. But this time you were the one still asleep and not aware of his gaze onto you. Luke wanted to punch himself, he broke the promise he made to himself: to never sleep in a bed with you again. And you were both naked underneath the covers and he was drunk out of his mind last night. But as much as he wanted to hate himself and you for what you were doing to him he couldn’t stop admiring your peacefully sleeping face. You were beautiful and kind, he didn’t deserve you. With that realization and a huff Luke got out of bed and your body moved under the blanket and you opened your eyes.
The first thing you were met with was the sight of Luke being stark naked and immediately all the actions from last night came rushing into your mind. You blushed but didn’t avert your gaze, and acknowledged with a smile that he was semi hard. Luke caught your gaze but it didn’t matter to him, you saw each other naked before and his cock was inside you so what was there more to get embarrassed. But he had to accept that you were most likely not the person to give him a morning blow job so he pulled on a pair of boxers and walked out of his room, leaving you behind.
You frowned. He didn’t say a single word to you, not even a good morning. Maybe you should’ve said something, you felt stupid. Of course he wasn’t going to say something, he was naturally grumpy in the morning and second you meant nothing more to him than what happened at night so you weren’t important in the morning anymore.
You didn’t want to get up, his bed was way more comfortable than yours but if you wouldn’t do it now Luke would come back and ask you to leave in a not so nice manner and you didn’t want to test him even more. You swung your legs out of the bed and looked around to find your clothes. Much less to your surprise you found your underwear ripped, Luke wasn’t exactly gentle the night before. You slipped in your oversized shirt that you were always wearing to sleep and got out before Luke came back.
The next week you only got to see Luke shortly in the morning when you were eating breakfast and got ready for uni and he was rushing out of the flat without saying or eating anything. He always came back very late or not at all, he was avoiding you and it hurt. He wasn’t nice and talkative before and just when he was opening up a bit he shut you down completely. You hoped after your night together something would change, you knew that it was hopeless yet you still put your trust in it. How silly.
A groan left his lips as he traced his wound with his fingers. As he took his hand away it was tainted in blood. Luke cursed under his breath. A serious injury was the last thing he needed. He couldn’t go to the hospital as they would ask for his identification and what happened and he couldn’t exactly tell them either of both things. Being an underground boxer with criminal tendencies wasn’t really helping his case.
Luke left the fight club after he showered and bandaged up his injury as best as he could, it was only 1am and he walked to the place he spent most of his time apart from the boxing club: the bar. He probably should stop drinking so much but he should also stop thinking about you so much and he could only manage to do one of these two things as pathetic as it sounded. He just wouldn’t give you the power over him. And that’s what got Luke stumbling and hissing as he bumped into a bar stool that hit his injured side painfully as he made his way out of the bar.
When he got out of bed late midday the smell of fresh coffee hit his nose and he waddled into your kitchen with his head pounding heavily. He saw you drinking coffee out one of his favourite mugs, his mother once gave it to him, but he would never admit that that was the reason. It was the first time you both had a confrontation since that night and Luke felt his gut clenching, in expectation of talking to you again after he cowardly avoided you.
“Good morning.” Luke’s cough and raspy morning voice got you turning around to see him standing in the doorsill. You were surprised to say the least. He wasn’t gone and he was talking to you, inside you were screaming and wondering but on the outside you gave him a shy smile and said a good morning back. He grabbed an aspirin that laid out on the table and swallowed it with a gulp of water.
“How have you been?”
You wanted to laugh out loud at the awkward small talk Luke was initiating. You’ve been way closer and now you couldn’t even speak properly with each other. You cleared your throat and when you looked up at his awaiting icy blue eyes you gave in. “I’ve been fine, working, going to college, avoiding my parents calls-“
“Why are you avoiding your parents?” Luke cut you off and you were surprised he was asking you with what felt like genuine curiosity. He never once asked you about your personal life. “You know…they haven’t really supported my wishes and goals, they practically forced me to stay and study something I didn’t want, they refused me to give me money and help me so I headed out on my own and took the first flat I could find in this town what brought me here. And now my parents want to know what I’m doing and where I am but I don’t want to talk to them, let’s say when I left we weren’t really on good terms.”
You never explained to him why you were here, you never told him about your family problems or your want to get out and become something different. “Oh.” Luke let out.
And he never once asked you. When you came and claimed you saw the ‘searching for roommate’ sign down at the house door and wanted to move in, Luke automatically said yes because you were a girl and you were hot, at least these were his thoughts. But when you didn’t show any interest in him and were only focused on your work he left you alone and rather became rude than a gentleman. He didn’t know that you were just shy and that he was intimidating you and you considered backing out and searching for a different place to live but you wanted to give him a chance. He was definitely attractive and you hoped he was nice. You probably wouldn’t find a better apartment and if you had someone your age living with you that would be just a bonus.
Things have been a bit different than you’d expected them to be.
When Luke moved and walked over carefully you wouldn’t have noticed the slight difference to his step and the grimace on his face if you wouldn’t have inspected him. Immediately your eyes widened and your mind filled with worry. “What happened?” He was confused at first but then he saw your gaze and sighed quietly. “Just a small injury from the fight yesterday.”
“Small?” You exhaled. You lifted up his shirt and let out a little gasp. The wound was not huge but definitely not small, you traced your fingers lightly around the place, careful not to touch the wounded area. Luke’s mind wandered off and blanked as he felt your fingers caressing the side of his hip. He didn’t know why you did it and how it happened but he enjoyed the soft touch, he looked at you while you were focused on something else, still trailing your fingers around his bare skin absentmindedly.
A beeb from the coffee machine made you stop and stand up abruptly, a rosy colour tinting your cheeks as you realized what you have done. You couldn’t believe you just got away with this, this intimate gesture that seemed like nothing but in the situation you both were, no contact, him avoiding you for multiple weeks, it was huge. You coughed and murmured “sorry” as you retracted and went over to the coffee machine.
“No, don’t be, I should be the one to be sorry.“ You lifted your head up. Was Luke seriously apologizing? What was in his drink last night that made him decide to talk to you again and apologize? He sighed and combed a hand through his hair. He seemed nervous, a trait that you haven’t seen in him before.
“What I’m best at is handling things with violence or not at all, so naturally I started avoiding you after our hook up which was a stupid thing to do but that’s what I am, stupid and impulsive. You made me feel something, something weird and unfamiliar for me and I don’t know how to deal with it.”
You were confused and your head started to hurt. The clock in the kitchen screamed “time to leave for college” but you couldn’t go now, you were too transfixed trying to understand Luke’s confession. Did he just admit he had feelings for you? He didn’t really say anything about liking you or having a crush on you but you knew you were definitely in too deep. But you’ve accepted your fate of being nothing more than a roommate who was simply there but of no significance. He made it so clear to you he didn’t want to have anything to do with you. You may have slept together but you weren’t the first person who warmed his sheets and definitely not the last. Where did this come from?
“Luke please…I don’t understand.”
“I like you and fuck can I just do this?” He grabbed your face in his rough hands and made you gaze up at his vivid blue eyes. They were icy which always wanted you to take a step back because they mirrored his recklessness but right now they were welcoming you with a warmth you haven’t seen before. You couldn’t even close your eyes before he crashed his lips onto yours. You instantly got hit by the memories and how his lips tasted the last time, the alcohol still lingering in your mind. But this time they tasted fresh, slightly chapped against you. You put your hands on his chest, firm and strong against you.
One hand was still cupped around your face while his other moved to your waist down to your thigh and you gasped slightly at the feeling of his cold touch against your skin. His tongue brushed your mouth and you gladly let him in, both your tongues dancing together now. A moan left Luke’s lips that couldn’t help but turn you on and made you more confident in your actions. You trailed your hands from his chest to the back of his neck, to the fluffy mess of his hair. You automatically drew closer to each other, the heat from your bodies rising, it made your head hurt and twist in a good way.
All of a sudden the weight of another pair of lips was gone and was replaced on your neck, light, close mouthed kisses that made your head roll back, your eyes still closed in pleasure. Now that he had more access his lips got rougher, touching every part of your neck, teeth barely scraping your skin.
“L…Luke.”
An almost incoherent gasp of his name made him let out a light growl, pushing you even closer to him, his teeth biting down on one spot, lingering for a moment before his tongue and soft lips brushed over the now sensitive skin.
“Luke.” You said clearer now, although slightly out of breath. Luke withdrew his lips from your neck and looked up at you, a wild gaze in both of your eyes that calmed down tardily. You broke eye contact and untangled your hands out of his hair and your limbs from his.
Luke looked at you confused. His hands still around your naked waist, gripping tightly. “What are you doing?” You looked up and took in his messed up hair (your doing), his swollen pink lips that were still parted in anticipation, his eyes a shade darker than usual, pinning you down with a frown edged on his forehead. He looked breathtaking, irresistible but you knew you had to break this off.
“I want to stop.” His eyes widened and he was ready to protest but you didn’t let him. “I do not plan on having sex with you right now.” You knew he was thinking differently but you weren’t gonna take this further than a make out session. His reaction was what you were waiting for, if he was accepting it or urging you to continue.
Luke took a deep breath and loosened his grip on you, taking a step back. He felt defeated and there was still a half hard problem in his jeans but he breathed out and nodded. It was you, he was respecting your decisions. He coughed and said in a raspy voice. “Alright.”
Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it, you wanted to stay rational. “And I know you like me.” Gone was any rational thought and your heart beat faster. “What?” How did he say it so secure, not cocky but sure it was true. You were prepared to defend yourself. But with what, it was the truth.
“The night we…slept together, you said ‘I love you’ when you…well…hit your high and I originally thought it was nothing and just in the heat of the moment but then I was thinking about it and how you always looked at me with fond and care I didn’t deserve. And that night you said I could come to you, I can use you for my pleasure, I was so selfish and oblivious. The fact that you could potentially be in love with me got me running away and I’m so sor-”
“I do.” You cut him off. “I like you and I might love you but it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, not yet anyway. We don’t have to rush whatever this is, I want this to be slow.” You told him, your hand trailing up his arm, following a vein on his forearm.
Luke smiled at your words. It was what he needed, reassurance that this wasn’t just a game, not a quick fuck with no feelings and that you weren’t gonna held him captive. It was his biggest fear, being with someone, committing to someone, feeling restricted. He thought he could never do this again but you might be the one to change his mind.
