BACK TO A REASONABLE THREE FICS and even better the middle one is so close to finished I can taste it!! Chaps 1&2 of the chengxian wedding fic are UP and I just started writing the wedding scene today!!! Ideally this fic will be finished and totally posted over the next few days.
wayv heat fic is back on the table babyyyy - got back into it this evening, and wrote a good 1k! We're getting into the Supply Hunter-Gather section of the fic [possibly a good quarter of the total fic, but we shall see] Aiming to put this into a wayv fest in a few months.
shinee fic!! more importantly omegaverse fic with NON HE/HIM SHE/HER pronouns and a fic which will require a lexicon is sadly still in the planning stages. I have twenty prompts/scenes/chapters sketched out in bullet points and I'm thinking about aiming for 3-5k per prompt which could leave me with a terrifying 100k fic but WE'RE NOT LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS RIGHT NOW. Super excited to write it, I keep looking up shinee photoshoots on pinterest just to think thoughts. aiming for submitting it to the shinee writing fest at the end of the summer!
So I'm thinking of implementing a few things to this blog/archive. Most definitely synopsis of devilgram stories. Likely once a week along with its picture. And I'm thinking of doing card of the week. Card of the week would be on mondays and the synopsis of stories on Friday's. Just a little heads up for some fun stuff coming soon. If I gain more followers, i might put up a little voting post where people can vote what card and what story I should do next. Though, we're not quite there yet.
My current four WIPs! Pie of the Month SAL by Frosted Pumpkin Stitchery Tormund Missing poster by me Big Girl Panties by Lizzie Kate And Follow your Dreams by Dimensions
I tried really really hard to be a bio major, and in some ways I was pretty good, but it wasn’t a fit and I was making myself sick trying to make it work. earlier this quarter, I quit.
it’s honestly been great since then? I mean, it was terrifying and I didn’t have any clear backup plan, and admittedly some of the feeling better is due to having better medication than I’ve had in a long time, but: I don’t skip classes, I don’t feel like I’ve got this paralysis in my throat when I have a problem I need to talk about (not as much, anyway,) and I don’t feel lost or like a faker or a failure. I’ve been working on music and language and talking with people and making friends and feeling like I’m doing great things and all the stuff I haven’t felt in a long time.
this got really long
it’s been about two months, so let’s see what’s next:
I’m auditioning for Seattle Women’s Chorus on Sunday. I’m confident and I don’t feel like I have any reason not to think this is a go, so it’s probably just a matter of where they cast me.
this will scratch my itch to perform some, and SWC gets to perform in some great venues I’ve wanted to get into
I also hope to network, find more folks to work with, and talk to production folks about how bookings work and curation and direction
I’m trying to get better at basic contact management
I wanna keep in touch with folks I worked well with in hopes of further collaboration and recording opportunities, so we’ll see how that goes
while I was putting together my marketing materials, I found my first music teacher on linkedin! I should drop her a line; at least a really belated thank you
do major housecleaning on my facebook page, start actually using it again
put together additional web presence for my music; probably a wordpress site cuz it’s easy to navigate and manage
I’m working on getting recording sessions together with a few folks I worked with in class, so maybe I’ll have some tracks I can release soon!
my college actually has a recording studio?
it’s free to use which is awesome, and I’ve taken a tour of it, but I’m still pretty intimidated; it’s a lot of stuff I don’t know much about
I figure if I can record with a friend the first time, get the hang of it, it won’t feel as daunting when I go back on my own
I’m still kind of flummoxed by the feedback I got yesterday about putting together musicals or cabarets
I’m gonna arrange to talk with my music prof about these career suggestions; it sounds fun but I have no idea what the path looks like
a friend is putting together an album with a concept I love, and I’ve floated the idea of working on staging it as a show of some kind, with the obvious caveat that I have no idea what I’m doing and I’ll have to learn as I go
I’ll definitely have to do a lot of networking to get there, but hey, maybe I’ll figure it out
I plan to take more piano lessons, probably private instruction from here on out, but it probably won’t happen until summer or fall
in the meantime I’m going to see how far I can get on my own in terms of general technical skills and improvisation
the near goal is to get comfortable enough at the keys to do basic accompaniment and pitch-finding so I can offer private voice lessons
the next goal is to bolster my composition skills, so I can write more complex music efficiently. I’m strongly considering instruction or workshops on composition, too
after that, I want to be fluent enough at the keys to accompany myself on gigs
I’ve registered for both acting and technical theatre classes in the spring
I can use this to work on stage presence, improv and public speaking, and networking, as well as getting more comfortable setting up performances
a friend will at least be taking acting with me and is considering adding technical theatre, so that’ll be good!
also, this can put me on a musical theatre track, so there’s that
I’m also taking an anthro course on activism and social change, so, you know, startin’ shit. I’ve heard some really great stuff about the prof, so I’m excited!
I have a doctor’s appointment scheduled the week after next and I am going to throw a fit about my knees
you may not know this: I am incapable of kneeling on hard ground?
like completely
it’s excruciating, and it’s been this way for years
I’d hoped with PT and running around school it’d sort itself out but it hasn’t and I am fucking tired of this, plus I suspect it’d be good to have that mobility if I’m doing more stagework
other stuff:
I should really take music theory, maybe in the fall. it’s always offered at 8am, so I’ve been putting it off, but
I’m told I absolutely have to take jazz ensemble, so maybe that’ll also be fall. it conflicts with acting or I’d do it in the spring
I wanna take Performance Experience again (that’s the music class I’ve been talking about this quarter)
I didn’t get why people take it multiple times at first?
but it’s an incredible way to network and collaborate
and I’ve picked up a lot of new stuff I’d like to build on
continue looking for other audition opportunities in both acting and music
My plan in general is to adopt a new goal each week and build on them from week to week. Some goals are one-time projects, like unpacking those boxes I still haven't gotten to from my move 8 months ago, but most are general lifestyle changes that I want to phase into my life. After grappling with depression for five years, I've learned that I get overwhelmed easily when I set out to make a big change or changes all at once, and I don't do it. Then I retreat back into the depression and feel terrible for not succeeding. So for me, incremental change and slowly adding more and more structure and healthy habits to my life is the only way I can envision succeeding.
I really love Leila's plan of setting daily and weekly schedules, and I'm hoping to get there before too long, but for now I think I need to start with the basics. I have good days and bad days depression-wise, and I am embarrassed to admit that on the bad days, it's difficult for me to manage very simple things like getting out of bed, showering and putting on clothes (as opposed to sleepwear) or eating breakfast. Thankfully, with good medical treatment, these bad days are becoming far less frequent. But I still need to get in the habit of doing the same basic things every day no matter what (even on "lazy Sunday") so that when the bad days come, I already have a good daily routine in place and it's more difficult to slide into the "it's ok if I don't do X just 1 day. . ." mentality.
So my daily goals are to first and foremost, go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day, even weekends, going to bed late or sleeping in no more than an hour. As it stands now, I end up keeping far, far different weekend hours than weekday hours and it's very hard to get back into a sleep rhythm come Monday. Second, self-care routine: every day--even if I'm just hanging around the house all day--I need to bathe, groom, and dress myself. Third, eating breakfast every morning: I've been a breakfast-skipper for years, decades really, and this bad habit needs to die. I feel so much better when I do eat breakfast in the morning, especially before drinking something acidic like coffee. This needs to become non-negotiable rather than optional.
I am going to add more daily goals to this plan from week to week, but this is my starting point. For most people, these things sound incredibly easy, and I know that they should be easy, but unfortunately, it's proven a challenge for me. So this is where I begin. The journey has to start with a single step, so away we go!
Being as terrible at staying organized as I am (unless I am super busy, in which case I'm forced), I'm doing daily/weekly/monthly goals. Part of my issue is that I am so busy at work that I come home tired and run down and don't want to do the things that I need to do. And then I get overwhelmed at the idea of having to do them (laundry, cleaning, putting away dishes), and have a hard time doing them. So, they get put onto specific days. And I'm going so far as to remind myself of things that need to get done daily because sometimes I need the reminder, as stupid as it feels. Because that's part of self-care, right? So, behind the cut, we go.
The goals will update and/or change as the year goes. Some of the days aren't filled out, and the months definitely don't all have goals for them, but i figure there's time to come up with goals for those. in the meantime, i have enough to start and not overwhelm me.
