Broken
685 words
(Platonic Bopal)
Tw: Internalized Arophobia and Amatonormativity
Bolin didn’t get why he couldn’t stay in love. Yeah, he had the falling for someone part down… but when it came to actually staying with the person… It's like once they asked for a real relationship, he couldn’t provide the feelings that were there a minute or even a second ago.
Maybe it was the fear setting in from a past toxic relationship, maybe it was a mix of that and an issue with a lack of commitment. But he had liked Opal, and she liked him back. Those feelings from last year were real. They Were. They’ve dissolved into thin air by now it seems; Bolin had no more desire to date her.
It was far too late to go back to liking her anyway, at least after what he had said. She was free to go right back to hating him; finally getting your relationship back to only have the other tell you it’s over? That he was lying about his feelings? He might as well move away from Republic City just so he doesn’t have to face the embarrassment of how poorly he handled that situation.
His internal ramblings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps, accompanied by a greeting in Opal’s voice.
Bolin could feel his heartbeat speed up to unhealthy levels. How convenient of her to decide to address it the moment that he was stressing about it so much; Of course, there wasn’t a time where his horrible confession wasn’t plaguing his mind.
“Oh, hi…” He uttered, barely raising his voice above a whisper.
There was an awkward silence between their hellos, leaving room for more anxiety to seep into his thoughts. What-if hypotheticals flooded his head, drowning him in bad ending results.
“So… I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday.”
Bolin froze in place.
This is it, this is the moment where she says she hates you and she says your a freak for not being able to keep your romantic feelings, this is where she calls you out for not getting over Eska, this is where she decides to part ways because everyone should be able to love… and you’re just a heartless, selfish, broken person who could never be that important to anyone but your family, at least not in the right way. This is where she says…
“I think I have a similar problem.”
“... what?”
Opal looked away from making eye contact before continuing, to save her from her own embarrassment.
“I used to love the idea of getting in a romantic relationship with someone special… And when I met you I thought you would be that person for me. I thought I was in love with you like that, but after thinking about it, I don’t know anymore. I feel like somethings wrong with me.”
He was shocked, and although staring in surprise wasn’t probably the politest reaction, it got his feelings across.
Noticing Bolin’s reaction, she quickly apologized; “I’m sorry if you took that the wrong way, I don’t mean you're not special to me or I don’t care about you anymore, I just don’t like you in a romantic way I guess. I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t believe it. She felt this way too all along? Maybe being without a date or without wanting one wasn’t the worst thing after all.
“No, it's fine. I think I understand what you mean. Believe me, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re broken. I felt like I was some heartless freak for not wanting to really be with anyone. And I still love you, I sorta want to still be more than regular friends, but I don’t want to be dating you, if that makes sense.”
There was a quick pause in the conversation before she asked, “Do you think we can be?”
“More than regular friends? Why not? We can be a couple but still be platonic. Or at least I think that’s possible…”
“If it’s not a possibility then we can make it one. If we’re supposedly two broken freaks, at least we can be two broken freaks together.”
