Starved
Requested: Anon original request was something along the lines of Reader has anorexia and the group of friends find out. Second after asked question- Preferably anorexia but whatever you'd like lovely! Your writing is amazing and I'd probably be happy no matter what way you took it!
A/N: Platonic x Jughead, Toni, Fangs, and Sweetpea. If you are in any way triggered by any discussion of Anorexia or anxiety please do not read this. Also, thank you to @wayward-river for all the help with this story she is incredible go read her stories.
Warnings: Anorexia, Anxiety
Word Count: 3132
Summary: You always put up the facade that you were alright, but what happens when your friends know your not and they figure out the real reason behind it.
Your mom left when you were young and your dad passed, you have been alone since you were 13. The Serpent's were a family and you always wanted to be fully in. Your Serpent dance was coming soon and you were getting more nervous by the minute.
Y/N POV
You stood standing in the mirror looking back at a girl, the marks you drew on it showing the way you should be looking by now... the goal for your dance. Your dance was in a few days. The last month you had been shedding weight, more than should have been possible. Luckily you were one to always wear baggy clothes so no one really noticed. You had to look perfect and the way you looked now your mind told you wasn’t. A knock on your door knocked you out of your thoughts. You quickly covered the mirror and thew on a t-shirt. You opened the door looking out to see Toni.
“Hey girl”
“Hey Toni what’s up”
“Everyone is on there way to the Wyrm wanted to know if you wanted to come”
“Uhm no actually I’m good thanks though”
“Aight can I borrow a water”
“Yeah of course” you watched her walk in about to open the fridge before you realized “Wait Toni” but she had opened it.
“Y/N you got no food and you rarely come out with us what do you eat?”
“Uhm I pick up Pop’s a lot” You hoped the lie you told was believable enough.
“You sure you don’t want to come”
“Uhm yeah, I’ll come why not” you rode with Toni to the Wyrm in your truck. Your vision blurred as your ears rang while driving but you kept focusing on the line in the road and you were luckily fine. You walked in behind Toni taking your seat at the bar like usual.
“Want a beer”
“No, I’m good thanks though” Jughead came up behind you.
“The infamous Y/N isn’t drinking tonight”
“Not feeling it gotta get up for school tomorrow”
“Never stopped you before, you ok?”
“Yeah I’m good” at that point Sweet Pea and Fangs came up as well.
“Y/N!” Fangs hugged you
“Hey Sweets hey Fangs how are you guys”
“Good you?”
“Excited for your dance, when is it again? Friday right?
“Yeah, will you guys be here”
“Sweet Pea miss a dance, your funny”
“Shut it Fogarty Y/N is like a sister to me I’ll be here though, gotta support you” Sweet Pea responded
“Thanks” Your vision blurred again as you heard what sounded like chiming bells once again, this one stronger as your body slightly swayed before being able to come back into focus. Luckily Fangs had stayed next to you as your body swayed into his almost falling off the stool. “Y/N you good?”
“Yeah, just tired, sorry”
“Want me to drive you home?
“Yeah, please”
“Leaving already Y/N?”
“Yeah T I’m sorry just tired is all, I’ll see you guys at school tomorrow okay” You walked out with Fangs to your truck.
“Fangs I forgot I drove Toni and I here because she walked to my trailer earlier, I’ll drive it’s not a big deal”
“Yeah it is you almost fell asleep at the bar, I’d rather drive you I’ll walk home not a big deal really it's like five minutes”
“Are you sure”
“Positive I wanna know you got home safe, can’t have my best friend fall asleep at the wheel”
Fangs drove you home, your stomach growled but you covered it with a cough luckily Fangs hadn’t noticed. Growls rarely ever happened anymore, more often than not the hunger wasn’t even there, maybe a few sharp hunger pain but no noise to cover up thankfully. You knew you should eat but if you ate you'd gain, and you couldn’t let that happen not this week not now. Since you weighed Monday and saw you weren't near your goal you haven't eaten much. You ate maybe an apple or piece of fruit and even then you would only eat half. You watched your trailer come into view and Fangs turn the truck off. He walked inside behind you asked if you’d be alright. After you told him yes he turned towards his trailer and went home. You walked to your bedroom and stripped off your jacket and shoes falling asleep in the clothes you had on. You woke up the next morning, walking into your kitchen grabbing a water bottle. You didn’t even want to drink that knowing full well liquids always made you bloat, but you still had a day till the dance so it would be fine.
You drove up to the school pulling into your spot and getting out of your truck. You saw your group of friends sitting on the steps.
“Hey guys?”
“Get some sleep?” Fangs chimed in.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well you were super tired last night so just wondering if you were good now”
“Oh yeah I'm good” you hadn’t realized that you forgot to put the flannel over your t-shirt today like usual. Toni stared at you about to speak before the bell of the school rang. You didn’t believe in god but at that moment you thanked him. You walked into the class you had luckily Toni wasn’t with you because she had to go to Art and you wouldn’t see her until lunch. You sat at your desk in every class barely paying attention and only doing what you had to. You had one class left before lunch but you hoped it would go forever because you didn’t want to go near that room knowing full well everyone would ask why you weren't eating. During your whole lecture looking in the reflection of your phone thinking how you just wish you could see the bones in your cheeks a little more. You looked around seeing the girl who sat beside you and how beautiful she was. Her eyes bright, her chiseled jawline, the stomach that couldn’t be seen, and even her legs that looked as if she ran miles a day. You got knocked out of the thoughts racing in your mind when Jughead tapped your shoulder.
“Y/N you good”
“Yeah why, wait why are you in here?”
“Because class ended 10 minutes ago we were waiting for you but you never showed up so I came looking”
“Oh”
“You okay?”
“Yeah just had some work to catch up on”
“Y/N”
“What?”
“You were staring into space”
“Zoned out”
“Your book isn’t even open”
“What the fuck is this Jones 20 questions, now let’s go to lunch” You got up rushing out of the room him following behind. You walked into the cafeteria sitting down next to Sweet Pea the smells flooded your nose. You were hungry but just a few more days and you would eat it would be fine. Toni looked to you.
“Not eating Y/N?”
“Uh no, not hungry”
“What did you eat last night”
“Uh nothing”
“Oh well then you must be hungry”
“Not really, I gotta read part of this book I’ll talk to you guys later” You stood up too fast the blood rushing to your head making you sit back down. Sweet Pea grabbed you as you almost fell over. “You okay? Y/N you should really eat.”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that!” You stormed out heading to your last class of the day. Get through this you thought, tonight is the night and after you’ll be fine. Your teacher made you work in pairs, and you, of course, you had to get paired with the one person you wish you didn’t. Jessica, she was beautiful skinny, a strong jawline, and everything you weren’t. You ran out of class going home you couldn’t handle it.
You drove to your trailer walking inside and were instantly hit with the smell of Pops. You walked to your kitchen table seeing a note: You got the dance tonight, and you ran out of lunch figured you wouldn’t have time to grab anything enjoy - Love, T. You looked at the bag and then into the mirror, you were so close you couldn’t eat and ruin yourself, not now not after all the hard work you did. You threw the Pops into the fridge and walked into the back taking a shower and getting ready.
At the Wyrm
You walked in seeing your group of friends sitting by the bar.
“Hey guys”
“Hey”
“How's work tonight T”
“Decent haha did you get my note”
“Yeah thanks”
“You ready?”
“I think so, I just don’t wanna mess up I've been a part of this for so long I just want to me official”
“Don't worry Y/N you got this”
“Thanks Fangs”
“Y/N You got 20 mins till you go okay head to the back room and I’ll announce you”
“Okay, Thanks Jug” You walked to the back room and started doing some push-ups, figuring it could tone your muscles a little more before the show started. You had to stop after a few because your head started to feel fuzzy. . Just push through it you thought. Get through it and you would be fine it’s just stress. In the distance, you heard talking but you couldn’t focus on it right away until you heard it repeat; your name again, and again.
“Welcome to the stage for serpent initiation Y/N…Y/N?” You tried standing up but fell down slightly losing your balance but you had to push through. You got up standing again and walked onto the stage. Your song started. You began slowly stripping the outer layer of the clothes you wore and began the dance. You grabbed the pole swinging around it and swaying your hips to the beat. About a minute in everything went wrong. Your ears heard a constant ringing, the serpents in front of you blurring in and out, the room spinning. You tried shaking it off but it came back again and again, but it was no use as you were swinging around the pole your world went dark. The last thing you heard was the scream of your friends calling your name before you fell down to the floor.
Groups POV
Sweets watched as Y/N’s body dropped to the floor. He stood shocked, not knowing what to do until he heard Jugheads voice.
“Sweets, Fangs get her into the office now” Sweets walked over picking you up in his arms, not even needing the help of Fangs. “Sweets, you need help up the stairs?”
“No I got it Fangs” Sweets walked your body to the office and placed you on the couch. Toni came up. “Toni she’s…”
“Bones…”
“Toni I have picked Y/N up before she… she’s not Y/N. What happened?” Jughead walked in then. “Guys, what is going on?” Everyone was about to start explaining when Fangs started talking. “Guys, it was right in front of us”
“What was?”
“She's sick”
“What the dizziness?”
“No, well yes but just her… I think she’s starving herself Toni and Jug kept trying to wake her up while Fangs was talking. “Guys when is the last time she ate with any of you I mean she told me she went out with Cheryl the other day to Pops but”
“Fang she didn’t go to pops with Cheryl I was with Cheryl at her house all week”
“Okay well what about the other week when she picked up pops to go”
“Betty was working she usually tells me when she sees you guys there, and she hasn’t said anything to me”
“I should have fucking saw it, I should have fucking known” sweet pea chimed in
“Sweet Pea this isn't your fault”
“Well it isn’t hers she's sick and we, I should have noticed”
“This is on all of us, and we’re going to help her”
“Guys I think she’s waking up” The whole group stood next to you at that point as you sat up holding your head”
Y/N POV
The darkness started to dissipate as you felt a pounding in your head, the light began to pour in.
“What…”
“OMG Y/N you're awake” you felt everyone around you, Fangs holding your hand, Toni kneeling next to your head, Jughead sitting at your feet, and Sweet Pea sitting on the couch end.
“What… Happened?”
“You fainted”
“Oh god! My dance I didn’t finish… I’m not gonna be a Serpent” Sweet Pea yelled while standing up and throwing the knife he was playing with across the room.
“Fuck the stupid dance Y/N do you see yourself, please… please fucking tell us what is going on”
“What are you…”
“Don’t play stupid” Toni stood up walking to the corner of the room bringing the mirror over.
“Look at yourself Y/N”
“I…” Fangs squeezed your hand kissing it. “Y/N I, I know this is hard but look at yourself, you can’t say that you're not sick, and if you really don’t see what is wrong while looking in this mirror then…”
You forced yourself to look in the mirror. “I know it’s wrong but I kept telling myself one more day.”
“Y/N…” Fangs started
“Okay Fine! I get it okay! I shouldn’t have done it” Jug sat up from his position “What have you been doing, how long?”
“I don’t know how long a month maybe two. At first, I just wanted to shed some weight and I … I kept seeing girls looking so much better than me. Then, I scheduled my dance. I don’t look like any of the girls that dance. I wanted to look perfect I told myself I’ll drop some and then I’ll stop, but then I did...I dropped a little weight, but then I kept going and going and I haven't stopped. I wanted to look great. I wanted to keep going”
“Y/N you don’t look great but not because your too big, your underweight. Babe while you were doing your dance I swear I could see your bones, what have you eaten this week?”
“I, I don’t know an apple, banana, and some nuts maybe I try not to eat anything.”
“The entire week?”
“I…” Fangs stood up helping you stand up with him “Y/N look me in my eyes… do you want help? Do you want to get better?”
“I just don’t want to feel like this anymore”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I've always dealt with things on my own I’m so used to it”
“You don’t need to be used to it you have all of us, you have had all of us we are here for you, we are going to get you through this okay?”
“O, okay”
“I know this is going to be hard, but we are going to start small. Jug can you go behind the bar to the fridge and grab the fruit I have in there” Jughead left the room. “You're going to eat the fruit, as slow as you have to but you are going to finish it or at least try your hardest to no lying. If the thoughts are coming you talk to one of us and we will talk it out. You are going to eat with us for every meal. I don’t want it to feel like we are harping over you, but I can not lose you… You are my best friend and I know how hard this is my cousin went through the same thing. I, we are all going to help you get through this”
Jughead came back up with the fruit and handed it to you.You started eating it slowly your stomach growling. You felt the hunger rise inside of you. You stopped, and they looked at you.
“Y/N you have to eat I”
“I know Toni... it’s hard”
“just eat some more it will get easier I promise” They all started having a normal conversation like you would always have. You were happy they were not focusing on you eating but instead making eating comfortable again.
“Jug…”
“Yeah Y/N?”
“Do, do I have to do the dance again? Did I fail?”
“Here,” he handed the jacket to you that you had waited your whole life for. “You're a serpent you always have been you have always been a part of this family, but now you can stop complaining about not being official”
“Let’s get you home”
“Fangs can you drive me”
“of course” you got downstairs and into the truck waiting for Fangs to come. The thoughts came back about all the calories you just ate, but they soon went away”
“You’re thinking about it aren’t you”
“About what?”
“You know what, and I know what. Your thinking about all the calories that fruit had aren't you” you looked down at your hands. “Look I know how hard this is going to be to get through this, but you have all of us and you have me, you are not losing me and I sure as hell am not going to lose you” the drive seemed short but as you were waiting to pull into your lot fangs passed it driving to his and pulling in.
“why are we?”
“Because I told you I am not letting you do this alone, home is here with me or with Toni or sweet pea or Jughead, home is not your trailer alone”
“thank you”
“hey I don’t need you to thank me your like my sister I would do anything for you, and you can stay here as long as you want”
The next few months were a rollercoaster, you stayed with Fangs knowing that you wouldn’t be able to conquer this alone. You wanted to get better, but you had your hard days. You had your days where you would show up to the Wyrm on an empty stomach, but after the first few times everyone had come up with a code word for a bad day. Those bad days whether at someone's trailer or the bar they would grab something small to eat and a water and would sit and talk with you while you ate something. There were also days when you didn’t say anything breaking down the next day feeling like you had lied and betrayed them. Finally after you were comfortable enough Fangs had you talk to his cousin who went through something similar and relating to someone really helped.
Eventually you had started eating bigger meals with the group, and eating became something fun like it used to be. Throwing fries at each other from across tables or stealing drinks of shakes just like before. This was what you needed. This was how you got your life back together. You now wore your serpent jacket knowing that these people had your back, you were no longer alone. You had your true family. You had your life back.