sooo no one asked for young!toxic!player Joel…but you’re getting him anyway 🤭
Knee Deep
A/N: so while I was driving home from work today I was listening to casual by Chappell roan and I started thinking back to how my ex (Zach) treated me and how I’m still pretty pissed off that he reached out to me after two years. I decided to channel those feelings through writing. This fic is going to solely be based off my own personal experiences with my ex through Joel & the reader. I plan on using actual text/dialogue from our past conversations. I understand that this fic won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but to please remember that if you find yourselves triggered to scroll past and do not leave any hateful comments. I’m not sure when I’ll have this up, but I’m going to start writing it tonight!
Summary: Joel Miller has been in your life since high school in one way or another. Two years after you graduated college, Joel shows up in your life again during the summer. This time he claims that he wants to be serious with you.
Pairing | player!joel x f!reader
Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, manipulation, love bombing, carelessness, gaslighting, false promises, player behavior, toxic behavior, Joel is a sleaze bag, *dialogue and events based off my own personal experience* mean!joel, player!joel, toxic!joel, no age gap, no happy ending, reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!
(More warnings will be added)
~coming soon~
“I also don’t care if you accept my apology or not, you hate my guts. I get it.”
summary: tommy and joel walk into your new job and you decide to confront joel about the events that took place at sunday night dinner. the only thing is, joel isn't alone.
word count: 2.5k
series rating: E (18+ mdni)
warnings: no outbreak AU, age gap (reader is in their 20s, Joel is in his 40s) no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, tommy and reader flirt a little, player!joel, joel being a gaslighter sorry, ANGST, theres one part where joel grabs readers wrist kinda roughly bc she’s… doing something so be aware of that, if i’m missing anything let me know!!
notes: okayyyyy here we go, i don’t want to spoil anything so… let me know what you guys think of this chapter :) thank you again to my love @shatteredbaby for proofreading for me again, i owe you my life mwah. can't forget my literal mother @pr0ximamidnight for letting me ramble for hours <3
It’s Friday morning now and Joel never got back to you. You didn’t send another text after your last one, afraid that you would seem desperate or annoying. You’ve been busy this week anyway so you try not to let it bother you.
One of the jobs you applied for finally called back, so you went in for an interview on Tuesday morning and they already have you working your first shift tonight. It’s a waitressing job, which isn’t exactly what you were hoping for, but you applied for anything and everything, just happy to be working again. It will also be good to get your mind off of everything that’s happened last weekend.
You finish getting ready for work. Your shift starts in about an hour but you want to be early for your first day. As you leave your room, you grab your purse and your apron before running down the stairs. Your dad’s in the living room and you shout out to him.
“I’m leaving! I’m not off until midnight so see you tomorrow!”
“See ya bud, have fun!” He shouts back.
You shut the door behind you and walk down your front steps to your car. As you walk to your car, you glance across the street towards Joel’s house. His truck isn’t in the driveway. You haven’t seen him at all this week, not even a quick glimpse as he was leaving for work or coming home. You saw Sarah come home from school a few times, but no Joel.
You get into your car and turn the radio on, trying to shake the memory of the other night from your mind. You pull away, past Joel’s house and out of the neighborhood. The job you got is at a local diner near your house. Unfortunately though, it’s a 24hr diner which means you’ll probably be working nights most of the time but you’re just happy to be working again.
You pull up to the diner and step out of your car, grabbing your purse and tying your black apron around your waist. The one good thing about this job is that the dress code is simple, all black. You walk in and one of the other waitresses, Betty, greets you as you walk up to the counter.
“Hi hon, welcome to work!” She smiles at you.
She's an older woman, probably in her late fifties, and she’s very friendly. She was here the day of your interview and she chatted with you as you sat waiting for the manager to be ready for you.
“Hi” you smile shyly at her.
“I’m gonna be training you tonight,” she starts. “There isn’t a lot to learn, I think you’ll get the hang of it easily so I’m just kinda here if you need any help.”
You nod your head and follow her behind the counter. She takes about fifteen minutes to show you the ropes, how to use the register and things of that sort.
“Okay well,” she starts taking a deep breath. “I think you got this, I trust ya.” She winks at you. “It’s gonna be pretty slow for the next few hours, just watch the counter for now, I’ll handle any tables that come in.”
You nod, acknowledging that you understand and then she walks into the back. You look around the diner noticing that there’s practically nobody in there. One booth in the back corner is occupied by an older man reading the paper and sipping on a black coffee, but that’s it.
About an hour later you hear the bell on the door jingle as someone enters the diner. Your head whips towards the door and you see a familiar face, Tommy Miller. His face lights up as his eyes meet with yours and he walks towards the counter.
“Hey,” he glances around the empty diner, then his eyes land back on you. “Guess you heard back from some of the application’s you sent out huh?”
“Hi,” you laugh a little at his comment. “Yeah uh, I did. Today’s my first day actually.”
He takes a seat at the counter and you hand him a menu. “Does that make me your first customer?” he raises his brow and smiles at you.
“Yeah actually.”
“Hmmm, I’ll have to test ya then.” He opens the menu.
You let out a small laugh “Can I get you anything? Coffee?” You watch as Tommy glances over the menu.
He doesn’t look up at you. “Yeah actually, I’ll take a coffee while I wait.”
Wait for what? You don’t ask. You walk to grab the coffee pot and a mug, setting it down to fill it in front of him.
“Thanks darlin’,” he looks up at you and your cheeks heat up.
“No problem, let me know when you’re ready.” You turn around to replace the coffee pot.
Suddenly the doors open again, you hear the bell but you don’t turn around to look until you hear a woman laughing. You look up and your face immediately drops.
It’s Joel Miller, and his arm is wrapped around some woman as they walk towards a booth. He doesn’t see you yet as he slides into a booth by the window, sitting on the side that faces you. Tommy turns his head glancing at him, then turns back to you.
“Christ, when I told him to meet me after his date I didn’t think he’d bring the woman along.” Tommy rolls his eyes.
Joel was on a date? You just hum in response, not sure what to say. You look back towards Joel, he’s smiling as he leans on the table. Once his eyes meet with yours his smile disappears. You immediately snap your eyes away from him and focus back on Tommy.
“Ready?” You smile at him.
He looks up at you giving you a cheeky grin “Yeah,” he rubs the back of his neck as he talks. “Gonna keep it simple I think, just a burger and fries.”
You jot it down on your pad and then quickly rip the paper off. “You got it.” You wink at him, eyes meeting with Joel’s for a quick second before you turn around to place the order with the line cooks.
When you turn around, Tommy’s cheeks are slightly flushed. Then you see Betty come out from the back and walk towards Joel’s table to take their order. You try not to stare as you try to catch a better glimpse at the woman he’s here with. She has long blonde wavy hair, and as she turns her head to say something to Betty you catch a glimpse of her side profile and blinding smile. You have to admit she’s quite gorgeous. Then Joel’s saying something to Betty before she walks back and gives her order to the line cooks. His eyes flicker to yours again, and then to the woman he’s sitting with.
Your blood is boiling but you’re trying not to show it. How was he fucking you the other night and now he’s here with someone else?
“So, what’ve you been up to this week?” Tommy says, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“Oh nothing much,” You smile, a bit distracted.
He hesitates for a moment. “Got anything going on tomorrow?” He’s looking at you with his large brown eyes.
You notice Joel is watching you like a hawk, dark eyes burning straight through you as you’re talking to Tommy. You peel your eyes away from Joel and look back to Tommy.
“Not sure, I don’t think so.”
“If you’re free, maybe we could go to this bar downtown?” He stops for a second. “I mean, if not, that’s fine just-“
“I’ll let you know.” You smile at him before turning to grab his food and placing it in front of him.
“Thanks.” he glances up at you quickly.
You nod and then look back towards Joel. He gets out of the booth and the woman follows. As she stands up, he pulls her into an embrace before waving bye to her and sitting back down. As the woman walks out, you finally get a look at her. She’s gorgeous, luscious hair bouncing as he walks towards the door. She glances over at you and smiles before pushing on the door and leaving. You’re frozen there for a moment, before looking back towards Joel. You need to talk to him.
“I’ll be right back.” Tommy looks up at you with wide eyes, nodding his head.
You storm over to Joel, blood boiling. His eyes are locked on you the whole way over. When you get to his booth, you slide into the spot where the blonde woman was just sitting a moment ago and stare directly into his eyes. He shifts in his seat as your eyes stay glued to his.
“We need to talk. Now.” The last part comes out low through gritted teeth and filled with anger as you try to keep it together.
“What about, sweetheart?” He leans back, throwing his arm over the back of the booth.
What about? He's got to be joking. You feel like you could snap any second, and you think he can tell by the look in your eyes.
“Joel.” It comes out as a warning.
“Okay, okay,” he glances around the diner. “Not in here.” He gets up from the booth and you follow him as he walks towards the door.
Joel walks outside and you call out to Betty saying that you’re taking a quick break, she just waves you off. You walk out the door and look both ways before spotting Joel leaning against his truck. You walk towards him slowly, thinking about what you want to say. You stand in from of him, practically fuming at the way he’s acting so nonchalant, like he didn’t fuck you up against the side of your father’s home five nights ago and then ghost you.
“So,” You say, finally breaking the silence.
“So.” He says back.
You’re silent for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts. “What exactly is going on, Joel,” your eyes meet his and your stomach flips.
“Not sure what you’re talkin’ about.” He clears his throat and breaks eye contact with you, looking down at his boots.
So he’s going to play dumb, you see how it is. “Seriously?” You shake your head still looking at him.
He looks up at you apprehensively, like he’s afraid to meet your gaze. “Seriously, what are you on about.” His brows knit together as he looks at you.
You take a step closer to him. “You’re going to act like you didn’t fuck me behind my dad’s house less than a week ago?” Your voice starts to raise and he’s just staring back at you now.
“I-“ you cut him off.
“No, let me finish.” You’re ready to let it all out. “You left abruptly Sunday night, practically ghosted me when we had plans Tuesday, and then showed up here… on a date?” He doesn’t say anything. “And then you have the nerve to ask me what we need to talk about.”
He shoves one hand into his pocket and the other rubs at the scruff on his cheek.
“Just tell me, were you lying when you said you didn’t want to forget about the night we met? That you wanted me,” You swallow thickly, afraid that you might not like his answer. “Was I just another girl to add to your list?”
His jaw ticks as he stands there silently. “Yeah.” He’s still not looking at you. “It was just a fuck, that’s all.”
You scoff. “You’re sick.” His eyes snap up to you. “Even after you found out that my dad is your best friend, who does that?” You shake your head, he has a smug look on his face that makes you just wanna-
Your hand reaches up to slap him, but he catches your wrist before your hand even gets close to his cheek. He’s breathing heavily, anger burning behind his eyes.
“The hell are you doing?” He says it through gritted teeth. “Tryin’ to hit me?”
You just stare at him. “You deserve it, don’t you think?” Your voice slightly breaks as the words come out.
He grabs your other wrist and spins you around pressing you up against his truck. You try to wriggle away but he’s too strong. You’re speechless as you stand there in his grasp, a shocked look on your face.
He’s breathing heavy as he towers over you, dark eyes staring at your parted lips now. His eyes meet yours, you have no idea what his next move will be.
“Do I?” He’s close enough now that you can feel his breath fanning over your face.
Your heart is racing. “Joel…” you breathe out.
Then he’s slamming his lips against yours, the kiss is needy and rough as he presses himself against you. You start to melt into him and then snap out of it, breaking the kiss. You push his solid chest as hard as you can, shoving him away from you. He slightly stumbles back releasing his grip on your wrists.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He looks like a deer in headlights right now, stunned by your reaction.
His mouth falls open but nothing comes out. You turn away from him and start walking back towards the door, taking a deep breath trying to hold back tears, not from sadness but from anger. Who does he think he is?
When you open the door to the diner, Tommy’s head whips towards you. “Hey, were you on break?” He asks as you walk back behind the counter.
“Yeah,” Your voice cracks a bit as you answer him. “So, about tomorrow,” you clear your throat.
Tommy’s eyes light up. “Yeah?”
Joel walks through the door making his way to Tommy, you glance at him before your eyes meet his brother’s again.
“I’d love to go with you.” He smiles at your words.
“Great, I’ll get you around 8?” He says, his dark chocolate eyes gleaming as you nod positively.
Joel’s standing behind Tommy, now staring you down. You’re unsure about how much he’s heard, but honestly, you could care less at this moment.
“C’mon Tommy, we gotta go.” Joel says as he lightly pulls at Tommy’s sleeve.
Tommy pulls out his wallet, setting some cash on the table for his meal then stands up. “See ya.” he’s holding back a smile.
You bite your cheek. “Yeah, see ya.”
Joel’s standing by the door waiting for Tommy as you give him a deadly glare before clearing the counter and you hear the door to the diner close. You’re not sure what you’ve gotten yourself into, but you feel sort of excited for tomorrow night.
thank you for reading! feel free to comment or leave asks, i love to talk about this fic so I will almost always answer/chat :)
tag list and some moots: @ilovepedro @isitmeulookin4 @joelsversion @nostalxgic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @gracieheartspedro @jenispunk @beskarandblasters @javiscigarette @pedropascalfan221 @mellymbee @kaybee181520 @joeldjarin @akah565 @laurifern @chefchy4 @untamedheart81 @eliza-8 @fellinfromthetop @sofiparallel @znerac
