spending my free time over the last few months reading Gator Tillman fics and constantly watching edits has finally led to this.
at some point, this stopped being a normal fictional character crush and turned into me crying overnight while reading, continuing to cry at work, going to sleep at 3:30 a.m. because "just one more chapter" somehow became five more chapters, to a whole binge reading and randomly thinking, "what if i married Gator Tillman?" or even worse, "what if i could actually change this man?" haha
i also need to mention all the times i put my phone down because i was frustrated, overwhelmed, emotionally wrecked, or completely done with whatever was happening in the fic... only to pick it back up five minutes later and keep reading.
and let's not forget all the moments when i wanted to punch him in the guts, shake him by the shoulders, or smash his face into a wall.
i have no defense. no explanation. no regrets.
he's been living rent-free in my head for months, and honestly, i'm not even trying to evict him anymore.
watching Fargo and then immediately continuing with fanfics afterward is also something i don't regret at all.
a huge portion of the blame goes to @frootybb [Under Your Skin] , @gatorgirlie [Leather & Lace] & @covered-in-you-now [I wanna be yours] who contributed to this situation. your writing has done irreversible damage to me and is probably the reason this post exists.
you all somehow took a character that constantly frustrates me, breaks my heart, makes me cry, makes me yell at my screen, and then convinced me to care about him anyway. Lol
thank you for the beautiful writing, the emotional damage, and for existing in this tumblr world. i've had an incredible amount of fun reading your work. 🫶🏻
first posted on my Instagram fan account:
