#please get it

[fameisagnn]

the concept of a janka fight club au

[alcedovoir]

Jester: why are you blinking so much?

Mc, scared shitless: I've got something in my eye!

Jester: here, let me get it out~♡

Mc, shrinking away from him and trembling like a leaf: No thank you! Idontwannadie-

[deftonezangelbunni]

Now that Khamzat finally lost can he stop being a bitch and fight Nate Diaz’s friend?

[underthelodge]

project hail mary x wolf 359 DO WE GET IT DO WE SEE THE VISION

[notvil]

kiri's the guy you go to when you need to spice up your life. he knows that’s his role in your life, and he’s good at it.

if you want or need something done, he’s already on his way. it’ll be handled by some guy you met ten minutes ago—he’s cleared him, it’s fine. just get lunch with kiri until he gets a call back.

when you need to get away and clear your head, he’s outside your job, blowing up your phone no more than fifteen minutes later. if kiri sounds dead serious about calling in a bomb threat to get you out, it’s because he really is serious. stay by the phone until you can convince your boss to let you slip away.

hey. . . you want some real excitement? let kiri. . . do this one thing. let him marathon-fuck you into his mattress. you might get squirmy when he keeps your hips tilted up after he comes inside you, but he's wearing a condom, and he was talking about it already. teeth in your neck, hand over your belly. honestly, get sloppy with it—later, ask if the condom’s really on. just once or twice and trust him too easily when he swears up and down that it is. stay with him a few days after and let him pamper you. let him fuck you one last time before you leave after breakfast; the condoms are gone now, but he says he can pull out.

have him come over to your place a few weeks later and talk about how you’re glowing, how your tits look bigger, and how he came over. . . for a reason. let him work you into a panic when he tells you the condoms were expired, and then let him pull out a few pregnancy tests. take them, shake in his arms for fifteen minutes, and feel a mix of relief and. . . something else. . . afterward. then let him coddle you until he has to leave.

keep it between you.

next week, smile at him at the club like it’s a secret, let him pour a fifth down your throat and take you back home. he’ll sleep at the foot of your bed and kiss you goodbye after you make him coffee. keep it all a secret.

and keep going back when you need to spice up your life.

[vampirelimewire]

byler twt vs byler tumblr because i cant go on a long rant about the two so ill just show these images and hope you get what i mean

[asimetia]

so when Gerard is in her 70s are we gonna start calling her nana