I feel like I realised I existed late into being a teenager and by that point, I kind of felt like nothing if there was nothing to see myself in. If I didn't have nonhuman identity, then I just wasn't anything. Whenever I "lost" a "kintype", it made me so existential and I did not know "who" I was, to be honest. And now a lot of the time, I feel like there is nothing there. But that lack of identity is where I found mine. I cannot be a thing that is known because I just don't think I ever had that to begin with. Others know me, but I always want to be known as these other parts and memories. A lot of my memories are "stored", for lack of words, in those fictional identities. I'm kind of just the thing that can access them so I understand what all of this means.