I just seem so fed up. I just seem so un-important and irrelevant to people.
Reason 1 - I have these times when i can go into a deep stage of hating the world for weeks and can be triggered for no reason and ive gone into one. I just cant help it. I'll just get down, want to lock myself away for ages in my room and constantly sleep. Ill get so angry at everything and literally be full of anger and pain. I feel constantly hurt and have no reason why? I cant keep on like this. But when im around my boyfriend, i seem okay? He changes me. But as soon as i leave him, im back to being down?
Reason 2 - This wouldnt even normally bother me but the mood ive been in has. So my birthday was today and basically ive cancelled all my plans. I was meant to be going out friday with all my friends but a lot of people dropped out and have other plans now so i decided it wasnt worth going out. It normally wouldnt bother me but because of this mood ive been in, everything effects me 10x more. Also, i want to go out saturday considering my friends are and my boyfriend, instead of being stuck in my house depressed but i cant because my friends ID i use doesnt look like me. I know it sounds so stupid. But i just want to have a night out and hopefully get out of this mood but now i cant.
Reason 3 - I just feel so alone. No one in real life relates and that is such a lonely feeling. I know my boyfriend tries his hardest to relate but because he doesnt know how it feels inside its hard. Also, I cant discuss it with my friends because they wont understand and think im crazy. I dont know. I just feel alone.