I’m not really ready to talk about it. I need some time to process this by myself, and I’ll probably stay out of tumblr for a while until i can truly understand what happened.
One thing i can say, is: I always have, always will, love every single female character (except for Jenna) in this entire show. All of them. And i don’t think that’s gonna change, ever, even if i stop watching. Even if I get mad at the writers.
I started this series as a 14 year old with no confidence, a bi girl in the closet, a teenager who wondered if maybe, when she didn’t find rape jokes funny, it was because she wasn’t paying attention. And i was convinced that being feminine, being ‘like other girls’, was shameful.
PLL has always, always been there, in the back of my head, as i developed. And these girls, with their hundreds of dimensions and their struggles and their courage and their unconditional love for eachother, that unbreakable bond, will always be a piece of me. I am who I am thanks to them, too.
I’m out, now. That’s a big difference. I’ve learned the concept of processing; I’ve learned that I have the right to handle my healing, for as long as it lasts. I’ve learned that being relentless is good, for the right reasons. I’ve learned that there’s always two sides of a story (or three, or four) and that picking one changes the whole thing. I’ve learned that being caring, and compassionate, and gentle, is something we work towards, its own kind of breavery.
I see myself in all of them. They make me want to do better, to try harder, to walk with more pride and to love myself more. They make me want to be stronger. And I am.
These five girl are my Forever Girls, and a sad thing is that i don’t think i will find another group of characters i care about as much. But I am so, so very grateful for the Liars.
