I don’t think I got around to posting this on Saturday during our final Mass together I started BAWLINGGGG during the recessional hymn. Not only tears but also my nose was running and I probably looked super gross and messy. My crush is an amazing instrumentalist and he was playing the piano for Mass that afternoon in the chapel. The first two rows or so are reserved for the choir, then there was another row, and then there was the row I was sitting in. There were about 3 rows behind me. So I’m the last one in the pew, near the edge, and I am just trying to do my post Mass prayers while crying, but I still am able to see my crush walk over from the piano on the side of the altar to one of the pews. And he sits almost exactly behind me, just a little bit towards the left instead. And I’m still crying like a baby and now I’m extra embarrassed because this is like 20 hours after me crying in his arms by the lake the day before so he probably thinks I cry all the time (which is totally the truth but that is a little embarrassing). But then a few minutes pass and he is presumably done with his prayers and as he gets up to leave he puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me and I probably look awful but I was so comforted in that moment. And so I mouth thank you and return to crying and praying. A few more minutes pass and I am finally ready to step out of the chapel, so I start feeling the seat of the pew with my hands as I’m still kneeling, to try and find my hymnal so I can put it away. But as I start getting confused I see him standing in the aisle holding both our hymnals and he’s like “don’t worry I got it.” And we walk out silently. Which was so beautiful and kind of him to do. I try to talk to him after Mass though, partly to thank him but also just to chat, but he doesn’t seem interested so I just move on. But then yesterday I ended up telling his best friend that I really like him, and another close mutual friend, and when I recounted this story to them they literally jumped out of their seats and were like okay so this is happening. That was 100% intentional he really cares about you etc etc etc
