BY: Kyle Kirrin | NARRATED BY: Alasdair Stuart, C. L. Clark, Setsu Uzume, Matt Dovey, Jen R. Albert, Peter Behravesh and Mur Lafferty | Rated R, for ridiculous, with sprinklings of boardgames, box wine, and profanity.
And lo, the Princess said: “Motherfucker, I am content.”
“But Princess!” said the Knight, from the base of the Princess’ tower. His armor-clad ass was parked atop a huge black stallion, which the Princess found not only pompous, but entirely predictable. “You misunderstand; I’m here to save you from — ”
“Hold up,” said the Princess. “Exactly what part of girl-lives-in-her-own-goddamned-tower implies a need for rescue?”
“Do you have any idea how many women would kill for a tower off in the wilderness? I am fucking blessed.”
“Princess,” said the Knight, “that’s all well and good, but this isn’t your place. You belong — ”
“Perpetually pregnant in a castle that smells like chlamydia? Pass.”
“M’lady, please. I only want what’s best for you.”
“Oh God,” said the Dragon, which in both size and shape resembled a hairless cat with wings. “Here we go again.”
This is the Princess Is Just Fine In Her Tower TYVM story we've all been waiting for. Listen, read, and enjoy!
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