#poebin

[halinski]

Another thought for when you're awake but: in 1x04 when Derek has wolfsbane poisoning and it's portrayed EXACTLY the same as sensory overload is always portrayed and I think that's when the possibility of Stiles becoming his anchor was first seeded, like his brain latched onto him like "this one = safe" "this one will do anything for you, even cut your arm off if you only ask him". JUST. THESE TWO.

!!!

i just keep thinking in general werewolves = a lot like neurodivergents or autistics, bc spd is a lot like the heightened senses. I related to that soooooo much back when i watched in my teens without even realizing how much the spd impactdd me and what it was exactly. Just like, whenever they were distracted by sounds, bc they hear everything at once, pencils scratching and everyone's conversations at once, even someone talking outside, and then theschool bell is so shrill it fucking HURTS

or when you're having a meltdown and the only way to make it through is to resort to pain to somehow manage it, bc you're already in mental agony

the werewolfness is such a natural part of you, just like autism, and it allows Derek and the wolves to connect to the world in such an innate way like you said. It's without words, without a concrete human way to explain it, and that's what it feels like autistically when you non-verbally experience the world and you don't catergorize or see the world in human structures or classifcations but rather auras (a word i believe they later used in the show) where everything has a sense attached to it and you exeprience it in some other way and i believe i'm the one not making sense rn bc i just can't find the words for these things - it's just soemthing to FEEL

and i think thats what it was with stiles and derek

that's why they didnt need words

that's why we sterek shippers never needed words to understand them

why we watched them look at each other and went

THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE

because it's an understanding between words. An understanding as if between two creatures with hackled raised, wounded, who realize they're fighting a common enemy, and sharea vommon language

and that language can just be by gaze alone, and somehow snark, biting tongues and rough edges

and if Derek can be his stoic soirwolf self with his biting sarcasm and heal himself and Stiles goes from "this will cause me nightmares" (about to cutt off his arm) to "that was awesome!!" (after watching the bullet wound heal)-- well Derek knows he doesn't have to hide his rough edges from him. He doesn't have to his the black bile and blood and pain, or the way he can't force smiles or be a functioning member of society for Stiles to consider him worth saving and fighting for. Stiles cares anyway. Stiles will fight for him anyway. Stiles understands

and god does that fucking matter

bc who else stands up for derek after laura dies?

Over and over again

*insert elevator gif where stiles is saving derek with derek looking vulnerable*

and cue the soft lighting

and how we get super soft lighting every time stiles is there to save derek

ESPECIALLY in the scene where Stiles saves Derek in his "daydream" when Kate comes back and shoots derek in the chest

[halinski]

Question to be answered when you're awake: but autistic!Derek's response to Stiles' innate ability to understand the wolves and their... culture (???) and what that meant to Derek after only having that with Laura for the longest time? (And that Stiles understands Derek himself, that Stiles knows about Paige and never judges him for it, that Stiles knows when to let him breathe and when to push aaaaaa)

IT'S THE FACT THAT

Stiles doesn't just take it for granted that Derek killed Laura, or that werewolves are murderous beasts (or wolves for that matter). Yes, he reads up on it and confronts Scott about it, and yes he knows wolves haven't been in California for over 60 years, and he tries to learn everything he can about werewolves that's available to him as a mundane human.

He doesn't take his info as a black and white fact (derek = murder), potentially bc he learned better but also lets be real, he's what 16, going on 17, and he's already wise enough to see the bigger picture and give Derek the benefit of the doubt bc like... What sense does it make? He knows about the hale fire, he knows Laura is Derek's sister, why would Derek kill her? What motive would Derek have? What he's seen of Derek, the way Derek has acted toward them doesn't scream sibling murderer in his eyes, so Stiles walks straight up to him and PUSHES. He confronts aggressively and tries to make sense of it.

He's weaseling himself into everything. And Derek probably wonders why. Derek mostly just wants to get to Scott and Scott's just pushing him away but Stiles is the one who unblinkingly returns his gaze, who not only pushes back, but always will come running first. Stiles is the one looking for the right thing, for the just thing.

Which Derek doesn't understand why at first but realizes Stiles does it out of loyalty and preotection for his family. He consideres Scott his family so he will do literally anything to save Scott and protect Scott and see Scott thrive. Same as with his dad.

And that- that resonates a lot with wereolf packs in Derek's eyes and it makes him YEARN for family. It reminds him of how Laura fought for him probably. I imagine that Derek tried to hide from her, that he pulled back and fought with her, that he took on such guilt from the fire and insinuated to her that it was his fault. She probably never understood why because how could he ever bring himself to voice the cause of what killed her family and how he'd let it right in through the back door (in his mind). But she'd always fought back to stay at his side.

just like how stiles fought for Scott.

And he wonders probably what Stiles went through to be able to counter him with the same dry, slightly morbid sarcasm. To all of a sudden adopt Derek into his pack, he realizes after he wakes up to Stiles over him, slapping him awake for the second time. That here's another boy ready to fight tooth and bone, life and death at such a young. Not afraid of blood and pain. Soaking up knowledge as if his brain was as vast as the sea.

Yet he has some things Derek doesn't have, like the words like stars in the sky to fill the vast space, the energy and mobility to spark his hands into movement at any second, always ready, his facial expressions always communicating. He was the Day to his Night, yin to his yang, the ADHD to his Autism