I woke up in a bare nothingness, it was pitch dark and all I hear was constant heartbeat from my chest. It went on and on. I felt my heart like it’s coming out of my system. I stood and tried to walk a couple of steps, with all my might, I reached for the switch, there, I finally found it. The lights were on. Everything is white, then in a corner I saw a mirror. It was silver and exact.
I was astounded by its presence because I never had a mirror before. A voice echoed in the room and it seems like it was asking me. “Look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?” A flashback of memories and beasts resounded in my head, until my tongue spit out words that I can’t deny.
I saw no one but me. An ambitious person who is bonded in satisfying the expectation of others. A liar who never loved himself in the beginning because he always seeks comfort from the material things. An envious coward who fooled the world with his smile. A failure who took the spotlight as an abode of his insensible decisions. A believer of backhanded compliments who made him nothing but a fallacy. A sinner who cheated to himself thinking that he is untrue, unsure and unloved. I saw no one but imperfection.
All the motions stopped and the voice went back asking, “What do you want people to see you?”
I want people not just to see but understand that despite my imperfections, I am not a bad person after all. My insecurities won’t define me, and won’t make me less of a person. My insecurity will define me being human. I am a beast, and I experienced things that shouldn’t be but from all those things I learned to appreciate life more, that it is always about coping the evens and beating the odds. And that no matter how many mirrors you face and reflect yourself into, it’s important that you are still know who you are. That imperfect, insecure beast.
Ladies and gentlemen, our mirror is our ego, teaching and talking to us everyday, if we lost track with its voice and disregard its presence, then that’s the time we get lost and forget who we really are, like a terrible fish.