#pointless personal post

[hansenesque]

drawing inception fanart in the emergency unit waiting room

[neverbringasticktoacannonfight]

I wore a CBJ jersey to run the Cap City Half in- I knew before I started I was going to overheat and die, and while the former was true I ran a 16 minute PR and Stinger hug tackled me in the finishers shoot. 10/10, was definitely worth it.

[a-new-american-classic]

Making friends with artists is a fucking strange ordeal. “Hi, I like your art/writing/music.” “Oh, hey, I like yours too.” This is becoming all too common a thing for me, and I’m really not sure how I feel about it. But I think I convinced Kasey Anderson to cover Taylor Swift’s “Red” when he plays “Exit Ghost” at the show he’s recording later this month. They go together shockingly well. So. I’ve got that going for me.

[somekidwithablog]

Tell your mumma you love her whenever you can because you never know when you won’t be able to.

So my mother almost lost her arm/life in a tractor accident the other day.  Amazingly they’ve saved her arm and she should recover fine! 

I’ve been so stressed I’ve gotten a stresscold, more so because two of mums friends have been self centred dicks bout the situation. So thankful i have the most amazing support network of friends and family.  My work has been super understanding and are cool with me staying up north for a month.  My family friend managed to get me a flight to auckland the same day of the accident so i’ve spent the past couple days in whangarei with mumma.  

staying at hers now but i can see the tractor and i can’t help but think about the fact she had to lie there for four hours with a detached arm screaming for help.

It’s like one month from my 21st and I have to say, my 20th year has fucking sucked.  flat turned to shit, work got stressful, had to deal with my man-child father in feb, my 19 y/o dear friend/ partners high school best diedsuddenly back in june and now mum almost died.  Thankful I do have a good job, stable postive relationship, and I’ve been working out regularly and keeping my mental health in line and a cat moved in but can this year be fucking over already.

[neverbringasticktoacannonfight]

When is it no longer too early to start carving jack-o-lanterns because grocery stores have started selling pumpkins and I am ~so tempted~ to buy one. I haven’t even started on a stencil yet though. Hell, I don’t even have a clue who I’m going to cave. My first year’s was Bob and Foligno, last year’s was Hartsy. This year I was originally considering team Ikea but Wild Bill is gone T_T.  Now I’m thinking Anderson maybe? Murray? Savy? Jack (because then it’ll be a literal Jack-o-lantern, har har har) or both Savy and Jack? I can’t decide and I’ve been mauling this over for months.

[a-new-american-classic]

My hands are bothering me with much greater frequency now, I notice tension and pain with some concerning regularity. Realistically, I should go see a doctor about it, because Mom had carpal tunnel bad enough she needed surgery on both wrists. I’m also not really in a place where I can just not use my hands for any period of time, so roll with the punches I guess.

I should be working on this big marketing document for my novel, but it’s got me flustered, and my head’s already in a weird place. It’s much easier just to drink summer beers and watch Japanese pro wrestling and not focus on anything.

I feel like I’m on the cusp of something great. Like if I can just tip this cart over the edge, I land in the rocket and ride off to outer space, and yet, I’m still kind of just struggling to be in a happy place. I go back and forth between being angry at infidelity, upset that you aren’t here to share in the ride, and concerned about how you might be. Basically, my headspace is a Ryan Adams song, “it’s all a bunch of shit, and there’s nothing to do around here. It’s totally fucked up, I’m totally fucked up. Wish you were here.”

I found more ghosts along the Mississippi than I expected, and enough anxiety to keep me wired and equally tired for the next month and a half.

But hey. I’ve got a book coming out in five and a half months, and everyone who’s read the thing loves it. Gotta count for something, right?

- The Great Depression

[hansenesque]

looked over my blog and realised i haven't done anything in a month uhhh exams are killing me but i have some resident evil art to post after things settle down hope ur all well

[hansenesque]

being mixed is simultaneously hilarious and frustrating because every time i refer to myself as japanese some mf has to go 'actually you're HALF-japanese' yes did you think i wasn't aware 💀