like half of the creepiness of the western christian obsession with virginity and the fascination with purity culture could probably be removed if it was a bonding process between the mother and the daughter rather than the father trying to act as a pseudomate for his daughter. like. just being honest which of these sounds less creepy coming from an adult to a child??
“doing this brought me happiness in my life. its difficult, but i want you to do it as well. i’m going to give you the ring i wore to encourage me in tough times. im going to hold you to the standard i help myself.”
vs
“youre going to save yourself for another man. im going to give you this ring that youll wear until i give you away to another man. ill give you all the love and attention you need until then.”