#polyamorous triads

[silver-raiyne]

[silver-raiyne]

[silver-raiyne]

[silver-raiyne]

So you want to be a unicorn hunter…

I'm guessing you're probably feeling really frustrated right now. I mean, you likely came into this polyam group sincerely looking for help/advice on how to go about adding a third person to your relationship and now you’re feeling like everyone is attacking you and telling you you're wrong for wanting to have the polyamorous relationship of your dreams.

But, here's the thing…we know something that you don't; we know that triads are hard. Like really freaking hard. They're expert level polyamory and require skills that you just simply don't have yet. You’re just not ready for it.

It's obvious to us that you're not there yet in the language that you use; you're centering your relationship and the needs and wants of you and your partner and how to add a third person to it. And that's not what triads are about. At all.

And if you go into it like that, if you try and start a triad before you're ready, you're gonna leave a path of destruction in your wake. We know, we've seen it, many of us have experienced it. And it's not pretty.

So, until you start picking up some of the skills you need, you're gonna be suggested to date separately, you're gonna be encouraged to examine your preconceived relationship beliefs, you're gonna be invited to examine the couples privilege you have and do the work to dismantle it before its used as a weapon against others.

And once you do all that, once you realize that, in addition to the relationship of all three people, triads are about each person within the triad having clearly separated and defined relationships between each other, then you might be ready. But by then you'll know you're not “looking for a third”