response to the zora poly anon. I am poly myself but... while I sorta get the appeal... I don't think the characters would do that? Yona is a kind of a non-character so I don't see the urgency to ship her with Link from nothingburger interactions either. She just isn't very interesting to me.
Tbh also a lotta poly headcanons seem to be pushed by people who have no personal experience with it?? or what makes it ethical. The consent and negotiations aspect is rarely properly touched upon. It feels like nobody has even done research into it. I also don't like how it is often treated as like a magical fix-it-all where jealousy and problems don't exist, or solely focused on one party (usually the male character) and only revolves around their needs and wants. Often as well others are just begrudgingly accepting or pressured into it, or don't tell their partners, which is a fairly toxic portrayal. It put me off those fics as someone in a real world triad.
I do not have what anyone could describe as a societally normal take on relationship dynamics. I am arospec, aspec, and polyamorous. The way I am inherently going to look at and define relationships, is automatically going to be different than the vast majority of people because of those three factors all interworking together.
Which means that even when I'm engaging in a statistically normal relationship dynamic, such as monogamy, the way in which I engage in monogamy is going to be extremely different than the way most other people engage in monogamy. Because like monogamy is an action, it is a relationship structure that you can choose to use or not use, and in the same way an asexual person can choose to have sex with someone regardless of their asctual attraction, me engaging in monogamy is not going to change the way in which I perceive the world and relationship dynamics as a whole.
So a lot of my ideals, or even simple things like what my boundaries are within a monogamous relationship for my other partner, are very different from their ideals and instinctive boundaries. Which that's not a problem, I am in a monogamous relationship because I don't mind engaging in that relationship structure with the person I'm engaging it in with, but that is not my automatic instinctive need or even want.
So like when it comes to things like what is cheating to you conversations, such as what kind of physical contact do you consider to be crossing lines with other people, looks incredibly different for me than it does for my partner. It's always going to look different, because my bar is always going to be "if the other person knows who I am and my place in your life, you're not making me less important in your life, and you're letting me know the very basics of the things you're engaging in (I'm literally talking all they'd have to mention is they want to sleep with another person, they want to go on a date with this other person, they want to cuddle pretty frequently with this other person, etc), then I'm fine."
And it's ok that my partner's list is longer. It's ok that they have a longer list of types of physical contact they are and are not ok with me engaging in with other people (i.e. kissing, cuddling in a bed specifically, etc), because again, I am choosing to participate in a monogamous relationship structure with this individual because I enjoy their company more than the prospect of engaging in polyamory in general.
But it's important to know that I am still a polyamorous person regardless of the relationship structure I choose to be in, the same way a bisexual person is still bisexual, no matter who they choose to be in a relationship with.
Actions, do not define your queerness, or define the way you view society, or define how you view cishetero/amatonormative ideals. They never will.
This is "on the side" anon. I kind of figured it was a poly situation despite the wording, I am sorry if that didn't come off correctly. That said for the continuation of line thing, would adoption or perhaps surrogacy work if Harry wouldn't -want- to find someone else? Like, once harry became sure of his place in their relationship, (because I see him being very nervous about taking too much of Ron from Hermione and other issues)would romoine help him, be a part of the process? (Pt 1)
(Pt 2) and would the Family be accepting of that or would it cause rifts, or would it still be in indulgence territory?
(Wow, this answer ended up so long... I love these asks!)
(I apologize in advance for some really stupid sex euphemisms coming up. This is what my sense of humor looks like when it is late and I am tired.)
So I definitely do think that the family would--eventually--come to terms with the relationship. (I think they’d have a much easier time coming to terms with one of the kids being in a monogamous same-sex relationship, simply because that’s easier to recognize as a “real” relationship. In the context where Ron is with both Harry and Hermione, the easiest narrative to apply to that is “Ron has a real relationship with Hermione and the thing with Harry, so Harry should really have a real relationship of his own.”)
As far as lineage goes... I think wizards, as a culture, are very concerned with lineage. Like, the Sacred Twenty-Eight are a thing in that culture. It’s kind of a big deal. Now, Molly and Arthur are very progressive, and they’re uncomfortable with the fact that they care about their lineage? But they’re also purebloods, and products of their culture, and they can’t just turn off caring about it because they would rather they didn’t. On the other hand, Molly and Arthur have a lot of sons; I think they would be fairly accepting of one or another of their kids choosing not to have babies. The big thing that would make them uncomfortable, from a lineage standpoint, about Harry/Ron/Hermione, would be anxiety about... not being sure whose grandchildren those are? Uncertainty would make them uneasy, and they’d feel bad about that unease, but they’d still experience it.
But there’s also the question of Harry’s lineage. Harry’s the scion of an old family; culturally, Harry really should have bio-kids. And I go back and forth a lot on how much Harry would care about that.
Like, Harry absolutely understands that there’s more to family than blood--Molly is much more family to him than Aunt Petunia. And I feel very, very strongly that in every universe, Teddy is Harry’s kid. Like, I have a lot of Feelings about Harry and Andromeda co-parenting Teddy, and (in the canon timeline) Harry working hard to ensure that, when James, Albus, and Lily come along, Teddy is never made to feel that he’s in any way less. I kind of like the idea of Harry adopting children, whether or not he’s in the kind of relationship that’s likely to result in bio-kids. And I definitely feel like in the kind of poly situation I imagine for them, Harry would be an active co-parent to kids that were biologically Ron and Hermione’s, and for that matter Ron and Hermione would be active co-parents to kids that were biologically Harry’s. That sort of relationship would certainly not be any less difficult in wizard society than it is in muggle society--the legal and societal aspects of co-parenting in polyamorous relationships is a whole kettle of fish that’s very interesting but kind of off-topic for this ask. (I don’t have any good links for a subject, but if you look into it, please be aware that there are important differences between polyamory and polygamy.)
So I can see a world in which that’s what they do--Teddy is most directly Harry’s and Andromeda’s, and Ron and Hermione’s bio-kids belong to all three of them. But on the other hand, so much of Harry’s narrative revolves around his relationship with his dead father. Harry’s generation’s success where the previous generation failed is one of the major themes of the books, and Harry not producing his own bio-kids feels unsatisfying, not in a personal sense, but in a narrative sense.
Which brings us to... how would arrangements be made? I mean, one obvious way to arrange for bio-kids for Harry in this relationship would involve Harry’s little wizard sneaking into Hermione’s restricted section, but that is a hard nope for me, not only because I am just really squicked by the idea of Harry/Hermione sexy times, but because it feels like a cheap avoidance of the problem. (Not to mention, even if restriction-section-free arrangements can be made, I’m not sure how many pregnancies Hermione would actually be down for. Even in a world where wizarding health care makes pregnancy less demanding than in the muggle world, Hermione is going to be mindful about balancing childbearing and career.)
Wizards really, really don’t seem to have any social structures in place to create parent-child relationships other than the method that begins with a mommy and daddy doing a special hug. (They might have some forms of magic to use in those situations where the special hug just isn’t working out. Artificial insemination? Fertility treatments? Possible.)
They don’t even really seem to have a concept of adoption, in the sense of “I adopted this child and they are now my child and I am their parent,” and certainly no concept of giving a child up for adoption. (Look at how Merope Gaunt is demonized for “abandoning” her child by dying!) (This ties in to my theory that, for the most part, wizards are very good at birth control. A culture where unintended pregnancy is very rare would tend to lead toward less of a culture of adoption.) As a society, wizards really, really seem to feel that consanguinity=family. Surrogacy, as an institution, relies on the notion that a surrogate can give birth to a child without automatically becoming the child’s parent, and I don’t know if that’s a notion that would make sense to wizard society. (There is some cross-pollination with muggle society, of course; but these are already institutions that muggle society struggles with. Based on what we see of their culture, wizards would have an even harder time coming to terms with them.)
There’s also the fact that The Boy Who Lived, Savior of the Wizarding World, is a public figure, and his unconventional family choices are going to be a matter for scrutiny to the wizarding world at large as well as to his extended family.
[Because we’re talking about magic, someone is already wondering whether two (cis) boy wizards can make a baby without involving any (cis) girl wizards. I don’t think they can, because it would relieve a lot of lineage tension, and we’d be back to the drawing board to explain why we don’t see any on-page same-sex couples in a world where Malfoy made no gay jokes after the second task.]
I can honestly see Harry not ending up making any bio-kids, regardless of his preferences otherwise, simply because the combination of public scrutiny and lack of options in wizard culture was too much for him. Even if wizards did have surrogacy as an institution... the idea of the press circus, or letting a relative stranger into his inner circle in that way, would not be something Harry could cope with. Maybe one of his female friends would be willing to help him make a baby, however. Not Ginny--given Ginny’s issues with bodily autonomy, pregnancy is not something she would enter into lightly--and I’ve never felt like Luna thought that growing them in her tummy would be a very good way of acquiring children, so I don’t know who they would ask. It would certainly be a matter of asking someone they were close to, though, rather than arranging a surrogate through some sort of intermediary.
It’s a hard question, and one I don’t actually have an answer to. Anywhere one went with it, I think, would be a story in its own right.
To more directly address your question? Any children of Harry’s would also be Molly and Arthur’s grand-babies, regardless how how they came about, that I’m confident of.
