#pond babbles

[souykoku]

i graduated today :)

[cockingballs]

some thoughts on class and privilege after discussing these things at college and seriously dating someone who is of a significantly lower socioeconomic status than i am (under the cut bc it got really really long)

class is SO relative. you really can’t 100% realize your place unless you befriended every single person in the world and saw how many people are actually not coming from your background

like i’ve been in a lot of groups where i was the Rich one but i’ve also been in a few communities where i was the Broke one so i think it’s always gonna be hard to really understand where you are on the ladder. i recently learned that the middle class is a lot smaller of a class in america than we think because SO MANY people call themselves middle class

if we say like, the top 15 or 20 percent is upper class then i’m definitely upper class. but i feel like i was under the impression for much of my childhood and adolescence that you have to be a multimillionaire to be upper class. i think it’s more like you have to be comfortable and then some. 

my family boards a fucking horse which honestly is enough to be like yeah i’m upper class. we don’t need that at all

i thought about it a lot in recent weeks bc my boyfriend visits my dorm about 3 or 4 times a week, he drives south about 40 minutes in a real shitty hand-me-down car and has to pay for gas cause i don’t have a car yet (i say Yet because it’s not like we can’t afford a third car we just haven’t gotten one and one of the points i’m trying to make while writing this is that we can afford shit like that) and he’s here so often he keeps a t-shirt and shorts here cause if his clothes get gross at school he dont have time to change before he comes over

he goes to his local community college on fafsa loans in a very conservative county and i pay 58k a year in tuition at an acclaimed private four year liberal arts college. 

even the kids here are wildly different in privilege. we did an activity in a class where we basically all started on a line and then stepped forward or backwards in response to questions like “if you have ever been discriminated against by peers because of a marginalized identity, step back” that kind of thing, and i did (along with a few other kids) make it so i was up against the far wall, because even at this affluent college i am still extremely privileged

a mixture of merit scholarships and family money means i will graduate with no debt or very very little. which is crazy. my boyfriend is at a much cheaper school but he’s going to be in debt because of loans

but its not even just that huge thing?? i mean college is a huge expense and priced like a luxury and it totally divides people but its also like the littlest things???? he stayed over at my parents house this weekend with me for the ren fest and when i told him i’d let him use a new toothbrush and keep it there in case he came back cause we had plenty of extras he laughed and was like “are you serious??? that would be a cardinal sin in my house” like he was gonna not brush his teeth cz it would be a waste of a toothbrush you might need later. my mom gave us a hundred dollars in spending money for the festival and i got him some nice earrings and he was just like “you are so fucking rich” and i seriously had not thought about it that much up until that point cause its like. normal for me??? but its not normal

you can make anything normal if you grow up like that of course and ya just dont realize it until later

and i decided to write this cause he was talking to me about his friends and i noticed that a bunch of them were joining the military. normally i would like totally red-flag that and sirens would be going off like yikes are they gun nuts or something but i thought about it and realized that it’s probably just the affordable option

and i guess,,, the us military really does swoop in on underprivileged students who can’t pay for college. especially in a conservative county

its also weird to be in a relationship where money is uneven. theres such a weird power dynamic with money

i had been buying him shit all weekend, my mom gave him her gas card and $20 for running an errand, i got him some really nice sunglasses for the drive home, paid for some of his food, got the earrings, helped him pay for a literal actual fucking sword lmao, and then we’re like discussing this viking outfit he wants to do next year and he wanted to use contact lenses to be “blind” in one eye and we found some and i offered to buy them and then he told me very earnestly he wanted me to stop spoiling him

like i really wanted to treat him cz he does a lot and doesnt have much spending money but when he said that i did realize that when one person is spending all the money it can make the other person feel,,, weird, like maybe a little guilty and possibly embarrassed 

anyway i could probably write a whole paper on how privilege is so significant but we been knew, this is just my experience with it this weekend

[syntheticstickers]

asking ppl not to post something that isn’t really x fashion in x fashion group or x fashion tag is acceptable. however, being malicious and condescending towards people who don’t follow fashion rules is unacceptable.

the old alt is dead. most “alt” fashion these days is corporate-run, obeys capitalist ideals, and follows mainstream trends and incentives. the new alt is ignoring fashion rules and doing whatever you want, imo. that doesn’t mean you can’t follow rules ofc bc that can be fun and your fashion is yours. but you shouldn’t make other people follow rules

[cosplaymom]

They call him baby driverrrr and once upon a pair of wheeeels @nightmare-hospital and @intricatesquiggles cosplaying Baby and Buddy, respectively, at Otakon today and ofc we had to take a picture with those anime cars (psst i made baby's jacket for this)

[pondslimes]

oh did i tell you guys? i got an official diagnosis last week. i have an anxiety disorder, mild ADHD, and mild autism spectrum disorder. it’s really nice to finally have a professional confirm it !!

[tragicherojackzimmermann]

AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED THIS CONFIRMS THAT SHITTY AND LARDO ARE DATING........

[souykoku]

[souykoku]

i need to be shot dead or be given adderall