#poor-dumb-killian

[always-a-slut-for-pirates]

URL change

poor-dumb-killian -> king-killian-jones

(oops - my hand slipped)

[lenfaz]

@poor-dumb-killian replied to your post “I haven't seen any foster dad Killian AU's or many single dad AU's....”

My fic cupcake wars! Sophia Jones will steal your heart. I can't link because I'm mobile, but it's on my AO3 page (which can be found on my blog sidebar)

OH yes, HOW COULD I FORGET!

Cupcake Wars or as I like to call it, the ovary burster. 

[lenfaz]

Im so happy for your milestone my dear!! i pick #7... Are we both robbing the same house? Oh fuck.

The beginning scenefor this one is vaguely based on a scene from Faking It, by Jennifer Crusie.You should all read that book if you haven’t.

Diamonds are a girl’sbest friend.

Easy. Get in, getthe diamond ring and get out. Right.

Emma Swan sighed as she searched stealthy but franticallyfor the diamonds. There were clearly not in the drawer her informant tippedher, so she’d started to quickly search in the rest of the room. That is, untilshe heard noises in the lower floor and she quickly looked up for an exit.There was none.

You really did notplan this through, Emma. All because of a pretty swan diamond ring. If you landin jail, it will be your own fault.

She quickly retreated to the closet, hiding in and gettingherself as far into the space as she could walking backwards, her hand at herback as she blindly felt for any objects in her way. And then her handsconnected to a soft material. She didn’t have enough time to assess what wasgoing on, before a pair of arms grabbed her. One hand covered her mouth fastwhile the other arm snaked her waist, pulling her back against a chest. A soft,lilting male voice spoke in her ear.

“Shh… easy love, no need to alert everyone else of ourpresence.”

“Get your hands of me.”She was able to mumble over the hand covering her mouth.

“Oh, aren’t you a tough lass.” The voice spoke again, hislips caressing her earlobe. “But in case you haven’t noticed, it’s your handsthe ones that are on me, love.”

And in that moment she realized that her hands, still at herback, were pressed quite tightly on his crotch.

Fuck.

She quickly removed her hands and she heard a sigh, followedby a “Bloody Hell, that was starting to feel good…” in her ear. She took a deepbreath before biting the hand that was covering her mouth.

The guy behind her flinched for a second before pulling hertighter against him, “Love, trust me, I have no intention of hurting you. Butyou have to keep quiet until they clear the ground floor. If I let you go, canI trust that you’ll remain silent?” He asked against her ear and she tried toignore the shiver on her spine. She softly nodded and she felt the armsreleasing her immediately. She took a couple of steps, putting distance betweenher and the massive heat body she’d been trapped with. She still couldn’t makehis features, as it was too dark in the closet to see, but she’d sensed a tonedbody pressing against hers. Her hand went to her back pocket, feeling her knifeand handcuffs in there. Just in case.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the noises in theground floor stopped. She quickly tried to decide what her move should be butthe voice behind her spoke softly. “After you…”

She headed towards the closet door and exited into the room,quickly turning around to see the person coming out of it.

And her heart stopped.

Tall, dark disheveled hair, incredible blue eyes, confidentstance and smug smirk. She almost gasped before she quickly recovered and gavehim a murderous look.

He tilted his head and admired her, before his eyes focusedon the swan necklace hanging over her black turtleneck sweater.

“So, I finally meet you.” He said. “The Black Swan. They spoke of your beauty, but they didn’t make youjustice.”

She rolled her eyes and her eyes scanned him, trying tofigure out who he was. It was then when she spotted the charm necklace onresting on his chest. A chest that was very visible considering the top buttonsof his black pristine shirt were not done. She looked defiantly at him.

“Hook.” She said.

“At your service, milady.” He bowed at her.

“Really? Then perhaps you can make up the last job you stolefrom me by handing me the swan ring.” She said, extending her hand, palm up andraising an eyebrow at him.

“Perhaps not that much at your service, love.” He replied,getting closer to her, invading her personal space and leaning so his eyes wereleveled with hers. “I did not steal a job from you. I got there first and gotit done. Much like now.” He whisperedhuskily.

She battled her eyelashes at him, “So you always like tocome first?” She asked blatantly, her voice dropping an octave, creating thatvelvety sound she knew drive men insane.

His tilted his head to the side, his lips against her ear,his stubble scratching softly against her skin, “Only when it comes to thesejobs, love. I can assure you that’s not the case in other, let’s say, more enjoyable activities.”

She almost lost her focus when his lips touched the shell ofher ear, but she quickly regain her senses as she moved swiftly and snapped thehandcuff on his wrist before clasping the other end against the desk. It wouldnot trap him forever, but it will slow him down.

“Really, Swan?” He asked, his tone amused; but she could seethe betrayal in his eyes. Her hand went to the front pocket of his pants and hecocked an eyebrow at her.

“Love, if you let me go, I can assure you we can both havesome fun.” He said smirking.

She scoffed at him as she removed a ring box from hispocket. “But you’ll see, I have everything I need right here.” She saidmischievously before kissing his cheek and leaving him there. “It was apleasure meeting you, Hook.”

“Swan! Swan!” She heard him call her but she was out of thedoor in no time.

She entered her apartment smiling, tossing her boots, grabbinga beer and heading to her couch. It was then that she retrieved the ring boxfrom her pocket and opened it.  And hersmile dropped as she looked at the empty interior of the box.

Son of a bitch.

Two days later, she entered her apartment again, her frustrationseeping through her. She had been trying to track him down unsuccessfully, allher tips leading to dead ends and more anger. She felt like a beginner. AndEmma Swan was not a beginner. And there was something about his infuriatingsmirk and those blue eyes…

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t noticefirst. But then she saw it. Right there on her kitchen counter. The swan ringwas right there, sitting on her kitchen counter, a folded piece of paperunderneath it. She took the ring with one hand and opened the note with theother.  

Sometimes, you onlyneed to look at something to understand it might be worth more than anythingelse.Meet me at the bar in the lobby of the Four Seasons tonight, 8 pmHook

She flattened the fabric of her black dress before enteringthe bar, nervously looking for him. And there he was: black tailored suit,pristine white shirt that made his eyes stand out. He was by her side in aninstant, a warm, soft, genuine smileon his face.

“You came.” He whispered, “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“What am I doing here?” She asked hesitantly.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Taking a leap offaith.” He bit his lower lip before smiling at her. “Killian Jones.” Heintroduced himself.

“Emma Swan.” She smiled at him.

He took her hand in his softly. “It’s nice to meet you,Emma.”

(She woke up in his arms the next morning. And she had toadmit she did not regret it a bit.)

(And a year later, as she woke up in bed next tohim, a swan ring was sitting next to the pillow. Legally bought this time.)

[kat2609]

“Don’t upset your father, not now.” CS (duh)

KG! I finally wrote your follower prompt! I broke the rules a little and it is not strictly CS but I hope you will forgive me?

Family Game Night

Sunday night dinner had quickly become a family tradition,especially after Emma and Henry (and inevitably Killian) had made their ownhome in the cottage near the water. They would gather in the loft, each contributingtheir part to the communal feast, enjoying each other’s company over a tablegroaning under the weight of the food.

Sometimes they kept it to immediate family, a chance tospend some quiet moments enjoying the relative peace now that the darkness wasdefeated. Dinner would often turn into a crowded couch, popcorn at the ready,movies queued and ready. The pop culture education of Killian Jones, Emmacalled it as she cuddled tightly into him, ensuring her father’s discomfort foryet another night.

Other evenings, the circle extended to Regina, Robin andRoland - a very different type of gathering where the women looked on in mockdespair at the ridiculous antics of their male counterparts.

Not the small ones.

On these larger, more raucous nights, there would be dancebattles and Mario Kart tournaments. Sometimes karaoke was the order of the day –Killian proved a dab hand at an eighties power ballad while Robin took on the currentpop hits with abandon.

(Today was fairy tale, indeed, Emma had quipped.)

But the highlight was always after the children were tuckedaway in bed, Henry attached via headphones to his tablet for the night. The rumwould flow freely – red wine for Regina – and the board games would come out ofthe closet.  

No matter how much rum was taken, Robin’s hand wasconsistently steady as he removed the bread basket or the funny bone inOperation. Mary Margaret, conversely, got the giggles every time and thebuzzing echoed through the apartment.

Killian, unsurprisingly, was often the Yahtzee champion, hismastery of the dice unmatched and his uncanny knack of rolling a much neededtwo at the opportune moment was the stuff of legends. Or loaded dice, Emmasuspected, but the amazement on her father’s face as her pirate snatchedvictory from the jaws of defeat yet again was worth the foul play.

Regina proved a worthy adversary for Captain Vocabulary whenScrabble was the game of the evening. Her selections were added to the boardwith her trademark snark and the battle of wits proved an entertainingspectator sport. When the dictionaries came out, the other players often   retired with a drink firmly in hand, cheeringon their favourite.

(Except for the nights when the rum had taken firm hold priorto the game. On these evenings, when the word choices quickly turned from highbrowto decidedly dirty, Mary Margaret often snuck ahead with cleverly placed cursesand euphemisms that impressed even the pirate.)

It was the Pictionary tournament, however, that nearly endedbadly. Each paired with their respective partners, Killian and Emma werequickly surging ahead. David, rum loosening his tongue, complained loudly thatthey were somehow cheating, that they couldn’t get the answers so quickly, thatKillian was too good at drawing. As Killian stepped up to draw for Emma, hechecked the card and could not help but laugh at the options.

He began to draw and realised Emma had caught on quickly. Andwas planning to play with her father a little first.

(He heartily approved of the pirate in her.)

“Sword,” she called out, as he drew a long, thin shape.

“Stab…attack...kill.”

David began to protest, but Killian was quick to try tosmooth the waters.

“Swan, don’t upset your father. Not now. We should begracious in victory.” He turned back to the chart and added to his drawing.

“Is it prince? Minion? No – I know, father?”

David could hold his tongue no longer. “Hey, enough of the youstabbed me crap. I was cursed! And it wasn’t my idea.” Mary Margaret gave him asharp slap on the thigh for that one.

Killian had a decided smirk. “Dave, I have forgiven you mybrutal murder. I had thought after that nothing you could do could vex me. Butan apology for casting doubt on the honesty of our victory is in order.”

David looked down and mumbled out an apology of sorts. Hesat back, arms crossed in what appeared to be a sulk.

“What was the answer?” Robin asked, the game seeminglyabandoned.

“Oh, it was indeed sword,” Killian replied, his arms goingaround Emma and planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

[oncertwice]

poor-dumb-killian replied to your post:on-the-ning-nang-nong replied to your post: Can we...

PREACH IT. I adore Scarlet. He was by far the best part of OUATiW. I was so excited about season 4 after they announced him being a regular…. then season 4 happened willscarletdeservesbetter2K15

HE REALLY WAS! He was the only reason I continued to watch that show when it started to bore me, which was early on, believe me, haha. I honestly just don’t understand why they would do this. I was thinking that maybe they can only have a certain number of regular cast members at a time, but if that’s the case they shouldn’t have taken on more if they couldn’t afford them. Sean could have stayed recurring, or Sean could be a regular and Bex could have been made recurring, as she isn’t part of a TL couple and probably doesn’t have much of a story beyond this pregnancy thing. They shouldn’t have taken on more regulars if they couldn’t afford them all. 

fuckstruckswan replied to your post: on-the-ning-nang-nong replied to your ...

WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL! All the will character dev during s4…but nope, nothing ughhhh im pissed

I WILL FOREVER BE UPSET TBH or at least until we can get some kind of sign that Will isn’t going anywhere. UNTIL THEN I AM ENRAGED

[lenfaz]

Lena!!! Happy birthday, beautiful lady! You deserve every little surprise coming your way today! ;)

Thank you Kelly! Oh dear, I am still plotting in my head that Metallica fic!

[kat2609]

CS + Killian wearing a new sweater. I can already see it "Bloody hell Swan i did it again" "Killian thats the third time. You said you would be more careful" "I tried love but the bloody thing snags so easy. Cant you just use your magic again?"

Aha Kelly! A mystery prompt LOL! (Not really - but when I said “write it please” I was suggesting you did it!) Though I loved doing it myself - it’s just ridiculous enough to be perfect for me.

Wearing His Granny Sweater

She heard the cursing long before she saw the pirate.

“Bloody hell, Swan, I did it again.”

He emerged from their bedroom, hook outstretched with whatlooked like a bundle of yarn attached to it. His face was red with frustrationand Emma knew instinctively that grinning wildly at this moment would be farfrom helpful.

She did it anyway.

“Is that…..” she started, only to be cut off by a decisivehand gesture from Killian that had her biting her lip to prevent the laughtershe could feel bubbling up from escaping.

“The good woman put time and effort into crafting this giftfor me and I felt it would be appropriate attire for her birthday celebration,”he announced, “But the bloody thing snags so easily.”

Emma began to untangle the navy sweater from his hook, shakingher head at the mess one pointy metal attachment could make.

“You said you would be more careful, Killian,” she laughed. “AlthoughI don’t know what Granny was thinking, knitting a sweater for a man with ahook.”

“What can I say, Swan, I am quite the hit with ladies of allages.”

She snorted at his swagger, and decided to take the path ofleast resistance. A flick of her wrist had the repaired sweater on the pirate’sbody and she had to admit that Granny had got the proportions just right.

“I guess we should be thankful it doesn’t have a big ‘K’ onthe front,” Emma quipped.

Killian’s face lit up and he waggled one finger jauntily ather.

“Aha, Swan, I got that reference!”

Emma put her arms around the ridiculous man and placed akiss on the tip of his nose.

“Nice work, Cap. Let’s go.”

[iverna]

poor-dumb-killian answered your question: so I want to try the whole livestream thing,...

OMG this idea is amazing!! I will be busy tonight (and all weekend) volunteering at Phoenix Pride. But next time, count me in!

Yay! If people are interested and it works, I’ll definitely do it more than once. :) Good luck with the event and everything as well! <3