Month 13 - Newleaf
Prev | First | Next
Slatekit was worried about Fogkit. Since the day of the funeral, her sister only left the den once or twice a day for sanitary breaks and stayed in her nest most of the time, staring at the wall. Slatekit had started bringing her meals for fear she would starve if she didn’t. Fogkit said “thanks” and picked at the meal and usually turned away halfway through, saying “I’m not that hungry.” Slatekit had tried to convince her to finish once and she had whipped around with a “I said I’m not that hungry, okay?!” and a burning glare. Slatekit hadn’t pushed her after that.
Instead, she had tried to find ways to busy herself around camp. Sitting in the den with Fogkit and no one else, the den seemed to loom darkly around her, threatening to swallow her whole. She didn’t want to stay there anymore. She didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts and Fogkit’s periodic sighs.
So she’d taken to helping with the chores around camp - checking the prey pile for crowfood, fixing up the nests and carrying away the used bedding, that sort of thing. She’d even asked Oddstripe if he had any jobs he needed help with and he’d taught her how to search for ticks and fleas. It was a bit early in the season but he had her check some of the warriors, just in case. Thankfully, she found nothing.
She liked helping. It made her feel like she was like her mama and it made the other thoughts quiet down for a while. She couldn’t stop worrying about Fogkit though. It seemed like other cats were worried too which did nothing to reassure her own worries. They tried not to talk about their worries around her, though. She didn’t know how she felt about that.
One day, while Slatekit was plucking feathers from the prey pile to put in peoples’ nests, Goldenstar approached her with a cat she’d never seen before. The stranger was a pretty, tortoiseshell she-cat, all speckles and spots. She smelled very different from the kittypet in camp, like greenery and rotting undergrowth. She smiled as she saw Slatekit and Slatekit couldn’t help but smile back.
“Hey, Slatekit,” Goldenstar said brightly, “I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is Poppybird, FallenClan’s mediator.”
“Hi,” said Slatekit shyly.
“Hello, Slatekit,” purred Poppybird, her voice warm and smooth. “What are you doing?”
“I’m helping pick out feathers for everyone’s bedding,” she said.
“That’s very kind of you,” said Poppybird. Slatekit smiled, puffing up with a little pride.
Goldenstar was smiling too. “Poppybird was a friend of your mom’s and she wanted to come spend the day with you and Fogkit.”
“Really?” Slatekit’s eyes widened. She really wanted to spend time with them? She’d never even met them.
“Mhm,” nodded Poppybird. “I thought maybe we could go on a little adventure together.”
“O-okay,” Slatekit said, standing from her work, “but, um, Fogkit might not want to come. She’s been grumpy lately.”
“She has?” Poppybird asked. “How so?”
“Um…” Slatekit glanced over at the nursery where she knew Fogkit was probably sleeping or staring at the wall. “Well she doesn’t like to get out of her nest anymore. And she bit me.”
“She bit you?” Poppybird’s face softened sympathetically. “Do you know why?”
“Um… She said that the effigy was stupid and then started ruining the flowers so I tried to push her away and then she bit me. It really hurt.” She gave a few licks to the paw that had been bitten as she thought about it.
“That must have been really upsetting,” said Poppybird gently. Slatekit nodded. “I’m sorry that Fogkit’s grieving hurt you, Slatekit.”
“It’s alright,” Slatekit mumbled, looking down. “I still love her anyway.”
“That’s good,” smiled Poppybird. “She’s lucky to have such a loving sister.” Slatekit blushed, shuffling her paws. She didn’t know what to say to that but it made her feel fuzzy inside.
“Why don’t you guys go get Fogkit,” Goldenstar said. “I’ll make sure these feathers get where they’re going.”
“Okay,” Slatekit nodded.
“Walk with me, won’t you?” Poppybird invited, stretching her tail out to her. Slatekit nodded and curled her tail with the mediator’s and started towards the nursery. She stopped in the entrance though, a sudden hesitance seeping into her as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Fogkit was curled in the corner of the nest, staring at the wall with a bored and weary expression. Slatekit was grateful that Poppybird stepped up to talk first.
“Fogkit?”
Fogkit sat up, frowning, and squinted at them. “Who are you?” She sounded angry. Slatekit’s tail fell to the ground.
“My name is Poppybird,” the adult seemed unphased, her voice still warm and gentle. “I was a friend of your mother’s.”
“So?” said Fogkit.
“With Goldenstar’s permission, I wanted to take you both out on a little adventure today, have some fun together. I was thinking we could go down to the river, what do you think?” Slatekit held her breath hoping her sister said yes. Going to the river sounded like a really fun adventure and she didn’t want to go alone.
Fogkit shifted in the nest. “I dunno…”
“You don’t have to come,” Poppybird said, “but I’m going and if Slatekit wants to go she’s welcome to come. You can even come along and then, if you decide you’re done, you can come right back.” She took a step back to leave the den entrance wide open. Fogkit pulled her paws underneath her, hips shifting like she was about to start hunting. Her brows were still pinched together angrily but there was something else in her expression, something that said ‘wait for me!’
“Okay,” Fogkit said after a moment of chewing on the thought. She stood up and padded towards them slowly. Slatekit smiled despite the worry that Fogkit’s slightly matted, ungroomed fur was stirring in her. Poppybird seemed to have no reaction to the kit’s disheveled appearance.
“Do you need to eat or anything before we go?” asked the mediator, watching them as Fogkit stepped out into the daylight, squinting harshly in the afternoon light.
“No,” said Fogkit, “I’m not hungry.”
“Okay,” smiled Poppybird. “Then there’s only one thing we have to do before we go. Goldenstar said we have to take someone with us to keep us safe. Who do you think we should bring?”
“Ospreymask is nice,” Slatekit said.
“No,” Fogkit said immediately. “Not Ospreymask.”
“Why not?” Slatekit asked, ears pressed back.
“Cause!” Fogkit hissed. She dropped her gaze, pouting at the dirt. “I don’t like her anymore.” Slatekit frowned in despair. Why? What had Ospreymask done? She was afraid too ask.
“That’s alright,” Poppybird said gently, laying her tail over Slatekit’s back. “Who do you think would be fun to bring along, Fogkit?”
Fogkit chewed her cheek for a moment before she said, “Floodpaw.” Slatekit was baffled by that. Floodpaw hated them! Or at least, he hated hanging out with them. She didn’t want to say anything though, in case Fogkit got angry again.
Poppybird asked, “Does that sound okay to you, Slatekit?” Slatekit wasn’t sure. She shuffled her paws and shrugged. “You don’t know?” She nodded. “Is there any reason why bringing Floodpaw would be bad?” Slatekit considered it. Probably not, especially with Poppybird there.
“I guess not.”
“Okay, would it be alright if we invited him then?” Poppybird’s smile set her at ease.
“Yeah, okay,” she nodded again.
“Great,” said Poppybird.
A few moments later, they were heading out of camp, Floodpaw following behind them begrudgingly. Slatekit still didn’t understand why Fogkit had invited him but at least it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything mean to them. As they ventured out into the grass, Slatekit remembered their snake encounter with a little gasp.
“Oh! Um, it’s good that we brought Floodpaw with us,” she said.
“Why’s that?” Poppybird tilted her head with interest.
“Cause,” started Slatekit, “cause, um, last time-”
“Last time we saw a snake,” Fogkit blurted. Slatekit nodded.
“Wow!” Poppybird gasped, “What happened?” Floodpaw rolled his eyes.
“Bar- um, Barleypaw killed it,” Slatekit said excitedly.
“Yeah, she smacked it until it died,” Fogkit whispered conspiratorially.
“That must have been very exciting,” marveled Poppybird.
“Yeah,” said Fogkit, sounding tired again. “I never got to tell mom the snake story.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Poppybird said, her voice soft. “I bet she would have liked it.”
“Oh, yeah?” Fogkit glared up at her. “How would you know?” Slatekit held her breath as best she could while walking. Please don’t start yelling, please don’t start yelling. She didn’t want Fogkit to get held back from becoming an apprentice. She didn’t want to have her ceremony all alone!
Poppybird didn’t seem to react at all. “I did the same job as your mother and we talked often. She was a friend of mine.”
“She never mentioned you,” Fogkit huffed boldly.
“She mentioned you,” said Poppybird.
“Really?” Fogkit blinked in surprise.
“Mhm,” nodded Poppybird. “She was so proud of you two. She told me all about your stories and adventures. I’m really glad I finally got to meet you.”
“Me too,” Slatekit said. Knowing one of her mama’s friends made her feel all light and cozy. Fogkit frowned and looked down at the ground.
They walked for what felt like a really long time. Poppybird told them the stories she’d heard about them and answered their questions about FallenClan - it was in a deep forest and the camp was surrounded by brambles and they ate mostly the same stuff but not rabbits and sometimes frogs and there were two kits named Lionkit and Wishkit and they weren’t related - and by the time they reached the river, Fogkit seemed to be mostly back to normal. She was a little quieter than usual and her fur was still matted and dirty but she was smiling and asking questions and Slatekit couldn’t help but follow suit.
“Look at it!” Fogkit cried at the sight of the river. It stretched out before them, at least three fox-lengths across, shining in the sunlight as it rushed noisily over the stones of the riverbed. Slatekit gasped excitedly.
“Okay,” said Poppybird, “There’s a few rules to keep us safe that you need to know. Never go deeper than your belly and be careful where you put your paws to make sure you don’t slip. Got it?”
“Got it!” the girls chorused brightly. Floodpaw sighed and sat down, looking away.
Poppybird looked at him and said, “Feel free to have some fun too, Floodpaw. Do whatever you want to do, all I need is for you to be ready if something dangerous happens.”
“Really?” he perked his ears a little.
“Really,” she nodded with a smile and he brightened significantly. Back on his paws, he started down towards the river.
Fogkit took off running, shouting, “I bet I can beat you there, Floodpaw!”
“Huh?” he paused out of surprise then frowned as he realized she was nearing the water pretty quickly. “No way!” Taking off across the pebbles, he sprinted after her. Thanks to his long legs, he made it into the shallows a good body-length ahead of her and she cried out in disappointment.
“No fair! You’ve got longer legs!”
“You’re the one who started the bet!” he laughed, splashing her with a pawful of water. Fogkit shrieked and puffed up to twice her size, tumbling back.
“It’s cold!” she cried.
“It’s not that cold,” Floodpaw rolled his eyes and lowered himself down to crouch in the shallow water so that it came up to his shoulders.
“He’s in too deep!” Slatekit cried but Poppybird shook her head.
“No, he’s alright. As long as you can stand up and it only touches your belly, you’re not too deep.”
“Oh, okay,” Slatekit relaxed. She ventured up to the edge of the water cautiously. Fogkit was playing with her reflection in the water while Floodpaw stretched himself out on his belly until his head was the only thing above the water. Slatekit carefully stepped into the water then reeled back with a squeak of discomfort.
“Ah!” she cried, “I don’t like it!”
“That’s okay,” said Poppybird, coming up behind them. “You don’t have to touch it.”
“I wanna swim like Floodpaw!” Fogkit declared. He snorted to himself.
“Okay,” Poppybird said, “just remember the rules. Floodpaw, do make sure she doesn’t drown, yes?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said, twitching his ear against the river bugs starting to cloud near his face.
Satisfied, Poppybird twined her tail with Slatekit’s and said, “There are lots of interesting bugs by the river. Why don’t we walk down the bank and look for some?”
“O-okay,” Slatekit nodded. They padded off down the river, leaving the splash radius just in time for Fogkit to leap straight onto Floodpaw’s back, sending water flying in all directions.
“Hey!” he snapped, and Slatekit glanced back worriedly. He reached up and shoved Fogkit into the river face first.
Slatekit’s stomach flipped in fright and she stopped in her tracks, but then Fogkit burst out of the water squealing in delight and cried, “Again!” so she tried to relax a little.
“She’s alright,” Poppybird said.
“I know,” Slatekit said, convincing herself as she said it. “I just don’t like to play rough like that.” She started walking again, eyes searching the pebbled shore for the bugs that had been mentioned.
“That’s okay,” Poppybird said. “Everyone is different. Some people don’t like to play rough and some people do and that is completely fine as long as they show consideration for how the other person wants to play.”
“Yeah,” Slatekit nodded. She liked how Poppybird talked. It reminded her of her mama.
“Fogkit and you are pretty different, huh?” asked Poppybird.
“Yeah.”
“Can you tell me some ways you’re different?”
Slatekit hummed thoughtfully. “She’s loud but I’m just quiet.”
“Oh, yes,” Poppybird smiled. “I bet it’s nice to have someone loud to help you when you’re quiet.”
“Yeah,” nodded Slatekit again. “She says the stuff I don’t wanna say. Although sometimes she says mean stuff too.”
“Like with the effigy?”
“Mhm.” Slatekit frowned a little and paused to roll some stones out of place to look underneath them.
“What kind of stuff did she say?”
Slatekit’s voice was very soft when she spoke. “That it was stupid ‘cause it was just wood… And that it was, um, bee-brained to pretend it was mama. Oddstripe said pretending helps you feel better but Fogkit said that was dumb.”
“Mm,” Poppybird hummed in understanding. “How did that make you feel?”
“Sad…” said Slatekit. “I liked the effigy.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it made me feel less lonely about it.” She rolled one of the rounder pebbles under her paw, back and forth. The smooth texture was nice on her paw pad.
Poppybird smiled. “I’m glad that it did. It can be really lonely to lose someone you love. It’s good to find things that make you feel less lonely.”
“But Fogkit hated it,” Slatekit said. “I don’t understand why she was so angry.”
“You and Fogkit are very different,” restated Poppybird. “When she gets lonely because she misses your mother, it makes her angry. I haven’t spoken to her yet but I know other cats who are the same and it can be really hard not to get angry when they get that sad.”
“Why though?” Slatekit looked up at her. “I don’t get angry, I just get sad.”
“It might be because it feels unfair,” said Poppybird, “or because being angry feels less powerless than just being sad. But sometimes there isn’t a reason. You can’t control the way you feel and sometimes being sad makes people angry, that’s that.”
Slatekit hummed and rolled the pebble under her paw. She looked back over her shoulder at her sister who was cackling between gulps of air as Floodpaw repeatedly shoved her head under the water, smiling madly. She didn’t understand Fogkit at all. But Fogkit was happy and that was good.
She looked up at Poppybird again and asked, “What do I do if she gets sad again? She spent a long time in the den not talking to anybody. It’s scary, honestly.”
“Just have patience,” Poppybird smiled. “She’ll feel better eventually. All you have to do is wait and keep showing her you love her. If you can, it wouldn’t hurt if you could get her to come out and play with you sometimes. It’s good for her to get some sun and move her body.”
“Okay,” Slatekit said determinedly. “I can do that.”
“That’s great,” Poppybird said.
After that, they went bug hunting in earnest. They found a worm but nothing else of note and Poppybird explained that it was probably too early for bugs like damselflies. Slatekit carried the worm back to a drenched Fogkit and they both took the worm in their mouths from either end and tore it in half, Fogkit cheering when she came away with the bigger half. Slatekit was just glad to see her sister smiling again.
They all laid down on the bank to sun themselves until Fogkit and Floodpaw were dry and then they went home. Poppybird stayed for dinner and, afterwards, Slatekit went to play with Ospreymask so Poppybird and Fogkit could talk by themselves. When it was finally time to settle down, long after dark, Slatekit made sure to tell Poppybird goodnight before she and Fogkit went to bed.
“Today was fun,” Fogkit said as they shared tongues in their nest.
“Yeah!” purred Slatekit. “I’m glad you came to the river with us.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Fogkit. “I wish you wanted to swim though.”
“Maybe next time,” Slatekit said, although she very much doubted that.
“When we’re apprentices, we’ll go swimming whenever we want!” Fogkit said. Slatekit grinned and bumped her head against Fogkit’s as the purr overtook her.
“I love you, Fogkit,” she said.
“I love you too,” said Fogkit and Slatekit felt the happiest she had in weeks.