Head over to my Patreon to purchase the full illustration for yourself, or subscribe at $5 a month to get access to all of them so far. Each season comes with its own illustration, plus you get sneak peeks a day before a piece goes live!
Thanks again to all my Patrons! You absolutely do NOT have to be giving me money, especially with my snail's pace upload schedule, but you do and it really means a lot to me.
You can also buy all of the illustrations for $10 if you don't want to pay the monthly cost! There's 7 illustrations total, currently. One day, probably when I finish the story, I want to put them all in a little print book and sell those, but who knows when that will be.
Anyway, thanks everybody, I love you all so much <3
There is no Dark Forest in this version of Starclan, only the Seasonal Borders. For instance both Tigerstar and Bluestar are Starclan cats, but they would be different kinds of Starclan cats.
Starclan is divided by the four seasons, and how you performed in life determines which season you are assigned too. The season is determined both your own opinions of yourself and personal reasonings for why you did things, along with the actual actions.
Each area is a perfect encapsulation of the season, Newleaf is BEAUTIFUL with flowers, Leaf-Fall has so many colorful leaves, and Leafbare is picturesque with frozen lakes and glistening snowbanks.
Greenleaf is the closest to Starclan as we know it. All year long it is warm and the prey runs very well. It's also very much the default tier, you were a background cat your whole life and did nothing but be a background cat? Congrats you're getting into Greenleaf. Kits are also automatically placed into Greenleaf.
Newleaf is a lot like Greenleaf but not as perfect, you're more likely to get rain and colder days. These are the cats that tried to do what's right, but fell short in very reasonable ways. This is for cat's like Blackstar or Mudclaw who really did good things and did try very hard and genuinely believed they were doing the right thing, but still had some black stains on them they couldn't wash away. Comfortable, but not perfect.
Leaf-fall is more on the brisk side. Lots of rain, and while prey isn't the easiest to find, there is prey, a cat can be mostly comfortable here, even if it's not the nicest life. This is for the cats that had negative intentions, but didn't do enough harm to be considered irredeemable or had reasonings that are sympathetic enough. Cat's like Ashfur or Mapleshade who did a lot bad, and maybe can't be forgiven, but weren't the worst ever and honestly didn't even do more damage then an intense battle between clans could possibly have done.
Leafbare is covered in snow, it's actually quite beautiful. Prey is very scarce but not completely missing, it's hard to keep warm but cats wont suffer from things like frostbite or anything, so they're just cold. It snows often, and many Leafbare cats will stick together if they're compatible enough to keep warm. Rarely there will be a more warm day as well, it's livable. A cat won't be the most happy here, but they have enough to be content, especially once they get more used to the cold. This is cat's like Brokenstar and Tigerstar who knew full well they were doing immense amounts of war crimes and didn't even have a good reason for them.
Depending on your season will also show how easy it is to dream walk, a Greenleaf cat can do so with ease, but a Leafbare cat will have to work hard for a long time to slip into a dream even once.
Cats can cross the borders, but only going down and up to the original season. A Newleaf cat can never enter Greenleaf but both a Newleaf and Greenleaf cat can visit Leaf-fall. To prevent trouble though, kits can only cross borders going down further then Newleaf if accompanied by a Greenleaf cat. So cat's are constantly crossing the borders, perhaps a Newleaf cat misses snow and so they spend a few hours frolicking in Leafbare. Or maybe some kits want to see their morally questionable Leaf-fall parent so a Greenleaf cat supervises the meeting. This keeps cats from being permanently separated from each other, but also keeps it so cats who may be more fond of other seasons can actually still experience those seasons.
This establishes Starclan as less like heaven and more like a genuine place where dead cats can rest and explore. Sure it's not ideal to be in Leafbare, but there's still things to do and prey to hunt. Even cats in Leafbare have a say in things if all of Starclan is pulled into a meeting, after all sometimes to best understand how to tackle a threat is the observations from a previous threat.
Along with that cats will often bring gifts as they cross borders, like yeah if you're in Leafbare most cats might not like you but sometimes someone from another season will come with a huge mouse and give it to you so you make sure no one bothers them while they roll in snow. Or your mom brings you a thrush because even though you did bad things she's still your mom and she loves you. If anything, it encourages Leafbare cats to make connections and friends after death, helping them become more well rounded and less aggressive.
Aldertail’s legs were more raw than they had been in a long time. She knew she shouldn’t lick them, she knew it wasn’t right, but every time she thought about the news - that another house cat was dead - she fell into a panic and the only thing that seemed to help was going over her pelt a few more times. Now not only her front legs but her hind legs and her back had patches of missing fur that grew dry and raw in the arid air of Leafbare.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Oddstripe fretted as he examined her new sores. “We’ll have you feeling better soon enough.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding very still, “I just can’t stop myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re sick,” grumbled Sagetooth. “It’s not a failing to cough when you’re ill. That’s all this is.” She snapped a root in half and began to chew it into a poultice. Aldertail recognized the smell as burdock, one of the several treatments she’d been given for her sores before.
“I don’t feel sick,” she said dumbly.
“Remember, sweetheart,” Oddstripe said gently and Aldertail blushed, “ it’s not a sickness you feel, it’s a sickness in your mind.”
“Right…” she frowned. Maybe that was the reason she’d been marked as Chaff. The Folk could tell that her mind was broken. What use was a cat with a broken mind? Sagetooth spat the burdock mixture out with a grimace and pushed the leaf it was on over to Oddstripe, then fixed Aldertail with a scowl that made her want to squirm.
“Look at me,” she said. Aldertail sat up straighter and nodded. Sagetooth continued, “I’ll have no more moping about this, you understand? It’s not your fault you’re sick. You’re not bad for being ill. In fact, if you’re sick for the rest of your life, that would be fine. Do you understand?”
Aldertail nodded instinctively. “I-I think so?”
Sagetooth gave a dissatisfied “Hmph!” and continued to stare her down.
“Oh, I think your tone is maybe confusing her, Sagetooth,” Oddstripe said, taking Aldertail’s leg in one paw so he could spread poultice up her leg. Once he had his bearings, he looked up to meet her gaze with a soft smile. “You’re not in trouble. What Sagetooth is trying to say is this is normal and it’s okay if you’re sick because that doesn’t change how much we care about you.” Sagetooth grumbled but didn’t contradict him, instead wandering off into the back of the den. Aldertail glanced in her direction, then back to Oddstripe, then down at the ground. She didn’t know why such a kindly stare made her feel so miserable.
Oddstripe sighed slightly but continued to apply the poultice. “Have you been extra worried lately?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, glancing back up. “Aren’t you?”
Oddstripe’s lips flattened into a thin line for a moment and he glanced over his shoulder in Sagetooth’s direction. “I am worried about my boys, I’ll admit. But I have a feeling that’s not why you’re worried.”
“I just…” Aldertail shifted uncomfortably, wishing she could groom her legs. “We’re all going to die. Me especially.”
“I don’t know about that,” Oddstripe said.
“Your warriors killed one of the Exalted!” Aldertail hissed fearfully. “They killed my brother for doing the same thing. And his mate. And my sister. And they wanted to kill me. Razor won’t stop until all of us are punished!” Oddstripe shifted uncomfortably, looking solemn.
He sighed, switched to her other leg, and said, “That is a frightening thought, but I have faith in Goldenstar to keep us safe. StarClan will look out for us.”
“StarClan…” Aldertail repeated. “Remind me which one that is?” She tried to picture the cats who had rallied in their camp the week before.
“StarClan are the spirits of the dead,” Oddstripe smiled down at his work. “They know things we can’t and they guide us from the stars.”
“So, magic?” asked Aldertail.
“Yes,” Oddstripe nodded with a little laugh. “This time it really is magic.”
Aldertail considered that. As powerful as the Folk were, they didn’t share their power with cats, at least not outside of social power. If the Clans had magic on their side, maybe there was a chance they could defeat Razor.
“Can they help us fight?” she asked.
“They rarely help in such a physical way,” Sagetooth said, stomping back over to them with a bundle of thyme leaves in her jaws. “Instead, they give us guidance and help us make the choices that lead to victory. For instance, they told us to attack on the night of the snow storm and in doing so we drove the rogues out and they haven’t returned since.”
“That doesn’t mean they’re not coming back,” Aldertail whined. “Has StarClan said anything else? Have they told you what to do?” The idea felt like something sturdy to hold onto, the idea that magic ghosts could give them all of the answers. If they just did what StarClan said, maybe everything would be alright.
“Not yet,” Sagetooth said. “But they will, in time.” She started separating the bundle of thyme into two piles.
“Can we ask them?” Aldertail said as Oddstripe moved on to her back. “There’s a way to talk to them, isn’t there?”
“There is,” Sagetooth said, “but we can’t just demand they give us all the answers. Part of the test is making choices for ourselves.”
“The test?” Aldertail squeaked. She hadn’t known she was being tested!
“The test of life,” Sagetooth clarified. “What would be the point of living if someone just gave us all the answers?”
“Finding peace wouldn’t be meaningful without chaos,” Sagetooth shook her head. “Joy wouldn’t exist without pain. StarClan gives us trials and misfortunes so we can learn from them and fully appreciate the blessings in our lives.”
“Okay, sorry,” Aldertail mumbled, realizing she had been speaking out of turn.
“It’s fine,” Sagetooth sighed. “You’re learning. Now here, chew these for as long as you can before swallowing.” She pushed a bundle of thyme towards Aldertail who took a deep breath of the aromatic scent. It seemed to grab her and pull her thoughts into focus for a moment. Obediently, she leaned down, took the leaves into her mouth, and focused on chewing them as finely as she could. As she did, she started to feel her breath coming easier and her mind clearing.
“Thank you,” she mumbled around her mouthful.
“Happy to help, dear,” Sagetooth said, offering a rare smile. Aldertail closed her eyes and focused on the herbs, on their smell and the texture of the leaves as it changed between her teeth. By the time Oddstripe was nearly finished with her hind legs, she swallowed and took a deep breath, the smell of thyme still thick on her tongue.
“Good girl,” Sagetooth nodded. “Now, the burdock root should start numbing your sores soon enough. Be careful not to lick it off or your tongue might go numb too. Besides, you’ll get a stomach ache if you ingest too much of it.”
Aldertail paled a little. “I’ll try,” she said weakly. That was going to be tricky.
“Oh,” Oddstripe frowned. “We can put cobwebs over them if necessary.”
“No,” Sagetooth said firmly. “That’s a waste of supplies and who knows, a numb tongue might get her to finally kick the habit.” Oddstripe met Aldertail’s eyes sympathetically. Aldertail nodded, offering a smile as best she could. It was like a punishment. If she messed up and licked her legs, she’d get a nasty surprise and, hopefully, that would teach her a lesson. That felt right.
“You’re good to go,” Sagetooth said, bundling up the rest of the thyme. “Keep your tongue away from your legs, you hear?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Aldertail nodded.
“You can get someone to help you groom your pelt if that helps,” continued Sagetooth.
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Oddstripe said. “Let me know if you ever need help with that, okay?”
“Alright,” Aldertail nodded again and stood to leave. As she did, her tail brushed up against something feather light and startled her. She turned around, fur bristling, to find a dead moth.
“Oh, sorry about that,” Oddstripe said, “Barleypaw brought me that this morning. I’m not sure what to do with it, to be honest.”
“You can’t just leave it around,” Sagetooth huffed. “Just get rid of it. She’ll never know.”
“It’s so pretty though,” Aldertail said, tilting her head to admire the little trinket.
“Here!” Oddstripe said, reaching towards the moth. Very carefully, he pulled the wings from the moth and then reached up to tuck them behind one of Aldertail’s ears. She blushed again, holding very still as he did, then tried to look at them without turning her head which proved impossible.
“I saw Blazingbrush wearing cicada wings like that,” he said. “She’s one of the other healers.” Sagetooth huffed under her breath as she headed back to return the thyme to the stores.
“Do they look alright?” Aldertail asked, still unable to look at them.
“Oh, they look beautiful on you,” he said. Aldertail bit her lip and swallowed.
“Um, thank you,” she whispered shyly.
“Don’t mention it,” purred Oddstripe, seemingly unaware of how he was affecting her. “Let me know if you need me to help you groom your pelt okay?” She nodded mutely and he turned and went back into the den with a little smile.
Aldertail headed out into the snow. He had called her beautiful. No one had ever called her beautiful before, at least not genuinely like that. She decided she needed to find a reflection and see for herself. As she headed out of camp, Branchbark and Ospreymask passed with mouths full of fish and smiled in her direction.
“Aldertail!” Ospreymask squealed, dropping her catch. “I love the moth wings!”
“Really?” she asked, blushing again.
“Yes! Oh my stars, you look amazing sweetie!”
Branchbark chuckled and gave a nod of agreement, then pushed the fish Ospreymask had dropped in her direction. She rolled her eyes and picked them up again, the two passing to head towards the fresh-kill pile.
Aldertail bounded out of camp, feeling all bubbly inside. Was she pretty? She had always assumed that people were lying when they’d complimented her. She knew how she looked, she knew she was ugly and broken and stupid. Or… she had known. Now she wasn’t sure. She quickly made her way over to the closest stream to investigate. As she approached, she held her breath, wanting to believe what they had said was true.
Her face swam into view in the chilly stream. She let out her breath, disappointed. She was still herself. She still had the same dull brown fur and ugly, scabby legs, the same unflattering wrinkle permanently affixed between her eyebrows.
The moth wings looked nice though… She tilted her head back and forth, admiring them from different angles. She wasn’t as thin, she realized. Her cheeks had filled out, her pelt hung more neatly on her bones. She was sleeker, even, with a shine to her fur that only Exalted cats seemed to maintain in the city. Maybe, she reasoned, she wasn’t pretty yet, but she wasn’t ugly anymore.
She smiled, touched by the thought, and decided to go looking for herbs like Oddstripe had taught her. She needed to thank him for his lovely gift.
UPDATES:
- Aldertail starts wearing moth wings behind her ear.