I was tagged in this forever ago by @sybil-writesâ, and though Iâm not really doing tag games anymore, I saw this one and really wanted to do it!!!
Iâm gonna tag... @livvywrites @abalonetea @piyawrites @chayscribbles @ardawyn and @surroundedbypearls if any of you folks want to do this!
Rules:Â Post an excerpt you are proud of, and talk about why youâre proud of it! pick out a few sentences and talk about why you like them/what you were aiming for while you were writing.
I always love integrating a ton of symbolism, foreshadowing, and neato literary devices into my writing, so getting a chance to rant about it for a bit is so fun! I was one of those unusual kids who absolutely loved analyzing poetry and writing back in high school English class. ^^â
Warning for spoilers from One Sirenâs Soul, so under the cut we go!
-----
Sparks flew as our blades met, little bits of light scattering off, raining specks like stars against the dark stone before swiftly dying.
Most stars were dead. At least, of the ones we could see.
Thatâs what Violet had told me, one night while lying back against the shade-chilled shingles of our home villageâs highest building, staring up at the light specked sky.
Specks that appeared as they had hundreds, thousands, millions, billions of years ago. It took so long for their rays to travel so far. The sky offered a glimpse into the distant past, of what had been, and never would be again.
She couldnât sleep that night. Most nights, neither of us could. So we climbed all the way up there, up a fence, up a tree, up the iron grate decor on the flaking plaster of an abandoned storage shed. We would try to see how much of the Navyâs navigation charts we could spot from our own pretend crowâs nest, a ramshackle circle of old branches and driftwood on the roofâs tiling, preparing Violet to join Captain SĂžrenson in His Majestyâs Royal Navy before sheâd even stepped foot aboard a ship.
I donât think our mother knew. And Violetâs idol of a father was always away, always far away in his captainâs quarters or always locked away in his study. He barely paid any mind to his bastard daughter, no more than he did the wild beast he had found floating out amidst the remnants of a shipwreck. The one forgotten by the Ascendants to die in the freezing waters of the Arctic Ocean.
The one he had decided to name as his second child.
I wouldnât lose this.
[ . . . ]
A pearl of blood fell from Violetâs cheek as she lifted her gaze to me, the red staining the gold trim of her uniform, splattering across the navy. Hatred darkened her stare, absolute, churning like storm clouds behind the hazel. But her voice was just as dead as the stars.
âCelestine SĂžrenson-MartĂnez, you are under arrest for unlawful use of magic, harassing a Navy officer, and thievery of the Sirenâs Soul.â
Okay so! This is a big reveal moment in the story: Celestineâs origins (or what she can remember of them), and her and Io being adopted siblings! So I had fun with a whole lotta symbolism in this one~
Thereâs some harsh transitions between the current and the past, first of all! Thatâs signified by the double spacing, and the carried symbol of dead stars. Rather fitting that itâs happening during a sharp edged sword fight, hmm?
I use a lot of alliteration and short, quick sentences, and even some clear repetition here. Thatâs to add onto the quickness of the scene and that sharp feeling, but also the beats of the sword blows, since Celestine is having this flashback all while fighting Violet!
The biggest symbolism thing here is the âdead starsâ! Stars are incredibly important to sirens, both through their mythological beliefs and their magic! Itâs said that the stars are the souls of sirensâ ancestors, watching over and guiding the living, very much still alive. But Celestineâs narration sees them as dead and cold and gone, following her own alienation from the rest of her species (and her general pessimism).
The sky offered a glimpse into the distant past, of what had been, and never would be again.
This line has quite a few different important meanings! Iâll try to explain this in a relatively spoiler-free way, but... letâs just say that Celestine is really tied symbolically to the sky, through her magic, and even her name (which is based on the word Celestial, aka sky stuff). She herself appears the age of 14, when in reality, she is far, far older. So what she looks like now is technically âa glimpse into the distant pastâ! And âof what had been, and never would be againâ? Well... Celestine is definitely no longer the innocent and enthusiastic child she used to be.
The one forgotten by the Ascendants to die in the freezing waters of the Arctic Ocean.
Oh, Celestine. If you only knew how very wrong that is. The Ascendants are the creators or âdeitiesâ of the siren race. Floating in the Arctic Ocean is the first memory of Celestineâs, so rather than her being forgotten by them, itâs more like she was the one to forget herself. *nudge nudge wink wink* c;
I wouldnât lose this.
What wonât you lose, Celestine? This fight? Or your sister and your second attempt at having a family? Seems youâre rather conflicted in your feelings here~
A pearl of blood fell from Violetâs cheek as she lifted her gaze to me, the red staining the gold trim of her uniform, splattering across the navy.
I really heckinâ love this line. First! Pearls are really important in One Sirenâs Soul--remember that the Sirenâs Soul itself is a pearl?? Yeah. And what if you capitalize the word ânavyâ, here? Celestineâs action of cutting Violetâs cheek will have far reaching consequences across the Royal Navy, maybe? c;
Hatred darkened her stare, absolute, churning like storm clouds behind the hazel.
Storm imagery with Violet is Very Important!! Take notes for later!
But her voice was just as dead as the stars.
I just really love this callback and thought it deserved the highlight~
