kinda feeling like a piece of shit. been debating about deleting tumblr and taking a break.
I've been debating attempting/relapsing for about a month to a month and a half at this point. I've been going through a lot of things that have completely fucked over my mental health.
if I do this, I will also be deleting c.ai to help recover from my addiction :).
don't know if I will. i just feel like I haven't been a good person in any way.
I've felt annoying, I've felt like I've been faking, I've felt overbearing, I've felt like I've been seeking attention even though I haven't been.
i feel like I don't deserve, and never will deserve, almost 600 followers.
I don't do anything good except shitpost. so this might be a goodbye for now.
In case I don't see ya, good morning, good evening, and goodnight.
Hello everyone Mod Kokichi here and I’m here to say that I’m working on all of your requests and I’m sorry that it’s taken so long to get some out but I haven’t been doing well lately with school work piling up and personal issues I haven’t been feeling my best or as motivated to make Icons I hope you guys understand I’m still going to attempt getting some posts out for you guys but If I’m inactive you know why, sorry for the inconvenience
So I just wanted to let everyone know that I might be taking a break from making art for a bit. I still want to continue my Drawing My Reads challenge until the end of the year. But I've hit a bit of a road bump in my art lately. If you follow me on TikTok or read my tags, then you probably already know.
The good news is that I'm staying positive about it. I've been doing this long enough now to know this is just part of the creative process. Like a little inchworm, my ability to perceive and imagine has jumped ahead of my skills. So I just need some time to catch up. To level up, if you will.
Unfortunately, the bad news is that it's incredibly frustrating. I've been trying to just power through it and push myself to make art anyway. And I'm proud of the work I was able to do during that time! But I think I've just finally hit the wall and don't really know how to push forward.
Especially since I have SO MANY IDEAS AND PLANS FOR FUTURE PROJECTS. I promise the issue is not motivation or ideas. I have that in spades. I just can't seem to get my skills and brain to align with each other. It's frustrating but a necessary part of the process.
That being said, I'm not calling it quits or taking real time off from making things. I'm just taking some time off posting things. I do still want to continue my challenge and start my upcoming projects. But I realize I can't get them done if I don't push through this. And right now, I don't think the best way to push through is to force myself to work on those things.
So I'm going to take this time to do studies and practice drawings. I'm just going to be sketching, experimenting, trying out new things and hopefully finding my "voice" again. I just don't know how long that's going to take.
Anyway, I'm planning on some exciting things in the future. I'm really eager to get to work on them. I've just been unhappy with the things I've created lately. And I need time to puzzle those issues out before I can jump into these projects again.
Like I said, I'm not sure how long this will take. I'll still be drawing in the meantime. So I might disappear for a bit but I also might be so active you don't even notice. Not sure. I just want to take the pressure off a bit.
Anyway, thanks for reading and your continued support! I can't thank everyone enough for all the positive feedback I've gotten during this current project. It's been fun being able to combine my love of reading with my art. It's a project I'd like to carry over into the next year. But I might do things a bit differently.
I won't be posting much over the next couple days.
I'm going out if town for something special and checking in on a very ill family member. It'll be a busy weekend for me (that's why I haven't been updating the daily things on my blog) don't worry, I'll be going back to normal around Tuesday.
