#possibly perfect

[kyluvsyi3w2]

If only you knew how much your hugs mean.

If only you knew how holding your hand gives me butterflies.

If only you knew how badly I wanna kiss you.

If only you knew how much I could love you.

If you let me,

If you let go,

If you set yourself free.

I’d save you, I’d save you, I’d save you a thousand times over!

If only you knew how good sex with you was.

If only you knew how badly I wanna keep you.

If only you knew that driving you home is the highlight of my week.

If only you knew how right lying in your arms felt.

But if you knew,

If you knew,

Like truly,

Really,

Knew…

What would happen then?

Would that scare you away?

Would that make you mad?

At him?

At me?

I know the world, your world, will never be perfect again.

I know how much you hurt.

I see your worry.

I feel your fear.

And my heart,

My big,

Thoughtless,

Loving heart,

Breaks for you.

If only I could say everything I wanna say.

But maybe some of it goes without saying.

But still,

I wish I could tell you all the things I’d tell you,

If it was okay,

Okay to let you know,

Know everything I wish you knew.

If only.

If,

Fucking,

Only.

[kyluvsyi3w2]

God I love you! Like I’ve never loved anyone or anything else in this whole fucking world. In my whole fucking life! I shouldn’t love you. I shouldn’t. Hearts don’t choose. True love doesn’t ever end. So maybe I’ll always be here wishing you could’ve picked me, day dreaming about your tattoos, and remembering what it felt like to be admired by you. The kisses, the intimacy, the days in the pool, the pet names, being the little spoon. All those small, huge things MATTERED! You saw me. You did. I know that’s what makes letting go of you so goddamn hard! You saw me and said, “All of you is good.” Not in those exact words. But with words, your words. And actions. I think just being next to you is always going to make my central nervous system calm down. It’s like a reset for my breathing, a stop for my fears. You were, you are, my lightbulb. Just like she was your lightbulb. I have done, and probably would do, damn near anything for you. But it’s too much isn’t it? I know it is. I’m just not ready. So I’ll hold you while I search for the one. The one I’ve been desperate to find for years. Yet, still, and probably (definitely) always there you will be. In the back of my mind. Flooding my memories. Taking over my heart. Making my world “one little, mucho, crazy, né?” “Siiiii!” To be haunted by you is both a gift and a curse that I’m happy to hold. “Confirmed.”

[kyluvsyi3w2]

Princesa, Princesa, Princesa.

You called me princesa.

God that made my day.

And most likely my whole entire week!

Linda, Linda, Linda.

You called me linda.

And somehow those words on the screen meant everything.

Futuro, Futuro, Futuro.

Can’t it come faster?

So our bodies can dance together,

Where language doesn’t matter.

Just raw, sexual, unbridled passion

Leading way into bliss,

Maybe like the kind I’ve never known.

Fantasia, Fantasia, Fantasia.

Oh so many fantasias,

Pop into my head —

Sexual,

Romantic,

And everlasting.

Espere, Espere, Espere.

Preciso encontrar uma maneira de esperar.

With my patience that’s running out,

With my biological clock that ticks ever faster.

Estou namorando, Estou namorando, Estou namorando.

You are estou namorando.

One where love has been replaced by control,

And passion has been replaced by fear.

You want out, but don’t know a way,

In the world, In the world, In the world.

Of right winged, conservative, racism I don’t really blame you for staying.

But for you, for you and no one else, I hope you find the strength to GET OUT!

For you deserve kind and compassionate amor.

Amor, Amor, Amor.

Can amor exist between you and I?

Or is it doomed to fail before it ever came or be?

I don’t know.

But I do know —

Knowing someone thinks I’m linda,

Being called princessa,

And your intention to act on your attraction in o futuro,

Makes me feel wanted,

Makes me feel like I matter,

That I’m desired by someone who I desire back.

The chips will fall where they may,

One day I hear your gêmeos irmão say.

Not sure when one day is.

Not sure I can wait till then.

But some piece of my lonely, desperate heart is affording me the tiniest bit of hope.

Will the hope burn out?

Or when you get the chance to hold it, will you cherish it?

Porque não tenho certeza se consigo lidar com mais uma decepção amorosa.

If you’re only for a moment,

Que seja.

Like you both always say, “Deus tem um plano.”

I just wish I knew what his plan was for me.

[kyluvsyi3w2]

I am just one hopeless disaster. I wish things were different. All I have are wishes. Loving you does me no favors. Daydreaming about you does me no favors. I am just the “cute” friend who you love so much. How am I supposed to be happy with that? In doing my best to keep the peace I am allowing you to take up more and more space. Allowing you to push me and my needs to the corner. You want me to be happy. God I want that too! But the real, actual shit. Not the could be, maybe someday type of shit. He doesn’t even like like me. That was all your fantasy. Because you love us both so much and you want us to be happy. But in this right now. But in this moment. But in this empty fucking space. Neither of you can pick me. He’s too scared to leave and you’re too broken. And I … I deserve a confident whole being, to love me as much as I love them. My love, I love you with everything that I am! I know that’s wrong. It has to be. But here I’ll be feeling it anyway. Because God decided to put two people’s worth of feelings inside of me. That tiny baby sliver of hope that I had, I think she’s dying. Because what she was holding on to wasn’t real. So here you stay with me… because I’m too much of a coward to let you go. So here I sit sad… because I’m too brokenhearted to pick anyone else. So here I am wishing it was one of you so love could be easy for once. I guess that’s just not the cards I was dealt.

[kyluvsyi3w2]

Sometimes I imagine what being with you would be like,

What would kissing you feel like?

Would it feel different than kissing him?

Or would it feel the same?

Would the connection be just as real?

Would the potential love be there?

Or would it just be a moment?

He says you’re exactly the same,

But I don’t believe that.

Not for a second.

You like me, you wanted him to tell me,

And here I am in the “friend zone”,

While you’re in a toxic relationship.

We both deserve better don’t we?

But does that mean we deserve each other?

When I imagine a life with you I see a calm, patient existence,

I see you twirling me around on the beach.

I could fall for you, couldn’t I?

But could I fall out of love with him?

I don’t think so.

And you deserve someone who loves you most of all,

Not your brother’s sloppy seconds.

He’s more playful,

While you’re more grounded,

He’s more adventurous,

While you’re more centered,

Both silly, both strong, both unbelievably handsome!

Both kind to a fault,

Both lived a lot,

And learned a lot by living.

Give more than you take,

Take what you can get,

That’s not a way to live.

I can’t save him,

I can’t save you,

I can’t save ANYONE!

But could one of you save me?

Could one of you be my forever?

And could the baggage and worry you hold fade away with time?

Could we meet in the middle?

I’d hold either of you up just for a chance at a happily ever after.

And because I know if the shoe were on the other foot you’d do the same for me.

Love doesn’t make sense,

Hearts don’t choose,

So here I am in this messy mess of emotions and unanswered questions.

Wondering what it would be like to kiss you,

Wanting to hug you,

Wanting to get to know you better,

Wanting to be in your look,

Wanting to be in that pause,

Wanting to fill the silence.

Because maybe the words exchanged could be the beginning of a lifetime,

Or maybe it would just be silence.

Awkward,

Uncertain,

And unending.

[ukhorseracingtipster]

Charlie Em wins Possibly Perfect at Santa Anita

Charlie Em wins Possibly Perfect at Santa Anita

ARCADIA, Calif.: Charlie Em wins Possibly Perfect at Santa Anita

kentucky.com By Kentucky.com

ARCADIA, Calif. — Charlie Em edged 3-5 favorite Customer Base by a head to win the $75,000 Possibly Perfect Handicap at Santa Anita on Thursday.

Ridden by Martin Garcia, Charlie Em ran 1 1/2 miles on the turf in 2:29.23 and paid $11.40, $4.60 and $3.20.

Customer Basereturned $2.40 and $2.20, while…

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[jimmylives]

"I want to live as intensely as I can. Be as useful and helpful to others as possible, for one thing. But live for myself as well. I want to feel things and experiences right down to their roots … enjoy the good in life while it is good.” -James Dean