Dean jerked awake from the hounting nightmare. Were it dreams? Or were it memories, brought back in a horrible even more twisted way than the orignal happening? This or that. It made his throat twist and his eyes burn. He felt hoarse. Was he screaming? He didn’t know. All he felt was the heat on his body, he remebers the drowning. The lost air in his lungs. He heard his name being called. And just like that, Cas was in his room. Standing there, with worry, afraid to take one step closer to shy dean more away. But the hunter only looked at him. With gasping voice telling the angel to come to him.He isn’t sure if he even spoke. Only that Cas was at his side in an instant. With force he pulled Cas to him, kissing him. It wasn’t soft or anything like it. It was harsh. He didn’t deserve this kind of affection. With one hand holding Cas in place, with one searching and exploring Cas body. The angel just went with it, but tried to take his time, even being gentle. What made Dean frustrated. “Fuck me” was all he could say, the dried up tears still in their place. Castiel made no attemped to obey. He even kept a distance. “Not like that” And that was it. Three words, spoken with love, sadness and sympathy? Dean couldn’t take it. He cried. He couldn’t look at Cas. His eyes stayed towards the ceiling. He feels soft kisses placed at his face, caring hands in his hair and on his neck, and hears words spoken with such love, that it didn’t long for Dean to fall in a dreamless sleep.