#post-anxiety

[updateinprogress]

unfamiliar happiness

I looked up to the naked sky, no full moon, no shadows dancing.

On my shoulders, nothing to carry, a shawl wraps me arm to arm.

And yet, As if the past has gravitation, Pulled my heart down, straight to my gut.

Now breathe slowly and repeat Out with the old, In with the new, Hold.

[fatphobiabusters]

Also sending good vibes to mod Dom!! I'll take your good vibes to me, if you take mine as well. Take all the time you need. We love you! (ﾉ*>w<)ﾉ♡

Thank you very much, Anon! I’ll happily take your good vibes and carry them with me. <3 Love you too! :) I’m going to take some baby steps here and get back into it. - Mod Dom 

[sleepykitten-love]

breathe.

breathe. http://wp.me/s4miyA-breathe

Clarity to me

is breathing perfectly.

To spend each day

with rhythmic chant

of breathing in

and breathing out.

To be in control

of what supposed

to be damn easy.

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[abyssal-hymns]

I got up at a reasonably early hour this morning and went to remove the snow and ice from my car so that I could get to work. Then I got into the driver's seat and tried to start the car. The sound I got was something like "chug-chug-click-click-click-click-nope," followed by a dying wheeze and then nothing. Consensus of reliable auto references said that this was a dead battery. Other reliable references said that a new battery would cost at least $97, not including installation and towing and other fun things.

I didn't have that kind of money, so after telling the office that I wouldn't be in because I was dealing with car issues, I set about getting it. And then, in the middle of the bank's online loan application process, the power went out. Twice. I wanted to be angry at that point. I really did, but the best I could manage was a dispirited wail of "What the fuck? Really?" as the power fizzled out the second time. But I couldn't be angry. The motivation was there, but the wrath simply wasn't. I'd expended it all this weekend in a savage burst of rage-vomit.

There's no denying that I had some kind of minor mental short-circuit this weekend. I'm still not back to full speed, either, but I've at least distanced myself from the source of my anger and reminded myself that I am both valued and basically competent. (Baby steps here, folks.) Now I'm in basic repair and planning mode, fixing the problems that I can and working towards my future. Things may not always turn out the way I'd like or anticipate, but they always work out the way they should.

[hopemushrooms]

Great heaving sobs throw my chest into fits of hiccups and I can't stop from crying for all the things I'm missing  But what is a tree that has not been rained on? And what is a shore that has not been crushed by the waves?

I am a mess, a masterfully crafted mess, and I am as noble as those tall trees the heavy rain and lightning hit first.  I have bursts of laughter to come after sobs  and I, like a forest tree, am not alone.