(On AO3, if you prefer!)
“So we’re done?” The eagerness to get out of the room was evident in Kaidan’s tone as he rolled his sleeve back down and rose to stand.
“Relax, lieutenant. You’ve just defeated Saren and nearly got crushed in the process. You could use some rest after all of that, don’t you think?” the doctor commented as he updated Kaidan’s medical file.
“Ahh yeah. I will. I need to handle some things first.” Hoisting his bag hurriedly on his shoulder, Kaidan almost ran out the door, hoping to catch Shepard before she disappeared. He wasn’t sure if she’d be whisked away to some other location for additional debriefing or if she’d slip out and find her own solace from the buzz and excitement of her accomplishment. Either was a possibility, but he hoped to track her down and catch her for a moment alone sooner rather than later.
He glanced at the many doors on either side as he quickly walked through the corridor to the main lobby of the hospital, hoping to find some indication of where she might be, but all seemed oddly quiet. The hustle and bustle when they’d arrived had most certainly died down. There were still people milling about and working, paying him little mind as he passed them, but the frantic pace had calmed considerably.
He hadn’t noticed the wreckage in the lobby when they’d first arrived. Stray bullets and shrapnel from the fallen reaper had strewn a jumble of broken glass and debris on the floor. Already, there was a man working to sweep up the mess before someone working in or visiting the hospital injured themselves, no doubt.
“Lieutenant,” another Alliance officer called. She was still neatly put together with a cleanly pressed uniform. Despite the chaos of the Citadel takeover and the destruction of Saren, only a few stray strands fallen from the neat bun in her hair gave any indication that it had been a very long day. She approached him quickly, expertly cutting off his access to the exit.
Kaidan sighed heavily. “Yes?”
She folded her hands in front of her body and stood rigidly before him giving a clear indication that she had no intention of moving out of his way. “You’ve been requested to remain here for a preliminary debriefing.”
Another sigh. He knew the Alliance all too well. ‘Requested’ was a less aggressive way to say what they really meant. The message was loud and clear. He wasn’t going to get to see Shepard any time soon and that fact, despite the unprecedented victory of the day, made his heart sink.
“Please wait in conference room B,” she continued, gesturing with a wave of her hand. “We’ll be with you shortly.”
Kaidan’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. It wasn’t as though he was hesitant to talk about the battle with Saren, but he always disliked how Alliance brass made it seem like one was being held as a prisoner until deemed innocent enough to leave. It was then that he remembered that he’d been a part of hijacking an Alliance frigate. He swallowed a lump in his throat and turned to head down the hallway that the officer had indicated.
He wasn’t sure how much trouble he and the Normandy crew would be in if the Alliance decided to press charges. He might be given dishonorable discharge. His parents would be so terribly disappointed. He himself would have been also, but, now that he was thinking about it, he wouldn’t have done any of it differently. Hell, if he had, they might not be the victors right now. Quickly, the formulation of arguments began in his head. There was justification for the things they’d been forced to do, and he would stand behind the commander’s decisions.
So lost in thought was Kaidan that he hadn’t noticed the door that was open just a crack as he passed it by. A hand snaked out from the opening and grabbed his arm. Before he even realized what was happening, he was yanked inside, bewildered, and pushed against a wall.
Blue energy swept across his limbs for a moment before he found himself face to face with Commander Shepard, who happened to be sporting a devilish smirk at her ability to catch him by surprise. Taking a moment to glance around, he noticed a large table with a dozen empty chairs nearby, but no other people. Without a word, Kaidan dropped his bag and launched himself at her, enveloping the fearless woman in his arms and squeezing her tight in his relief.
“Hey,” she quietly whispered near his ear. “Glad to see you’re okay.”
“I thought you…” he began, clearing his throat when the words caught on his tongue. “I can’t believe you made it out of that unscathed.”
Shepard chuckled. “Maybe not unscathed, but yeah, I barely believe it myself.”
Kaidan pulled away and moved to take her hand. She hesitated and took a step back. Confusion washed over his mind and his features as he looked to her, wondering if he’d somehow made a mistake or overstepped his bounds.
“Kaidan,” she began, her voice shaking and barely above a whisper. “I understand that people do and say crazy things when they think the end is coming. Before we reached Ilos--”
“You regret the night we spent together?” He could feel heat rising in his skin. He was suddenly so embarrassed and hurt and shocked that he didn’t know how to react. He’d believed that it had been real. He’d hesitated for so long for fear that it wasn’t, after all. Now, hearing her call everything into question, he was completely stunned. All he knew was that he needed her to say the words so that he could move on. He’d been such a fool.
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t have traded that for anything in the galaxy.” She paused, dropping her eyes to the floor in a rather uncharacteristic show of meekness and frailty. “It meant everything to me.”
Now he was very perplexed. He knew her well enough to know that she was being genuine. He could see it on her face and hear it in her voice. He felt the same way, but that didn’t explain her hesitance in his presence. He wanted nothing more than to be with her and he could tell that she did, too. “I don’t understand--”
“I’m trying to give you a chance to walk away without consequence, Kaidan. I’d completely understand. I haven’t been a very good commander considering all of the rules I’ve broken to this point, and I’ve probably been an even worse girlfriend. If you wanted to end things here before I probably go to jail, I wouldn’t blame you.”
He nodded, finally wrapping his mind around what was troubling her. The embarrassment and surprise had subsided, leaving sympathy and understanding in their wake. As she stood there, wrapping her arms tightly around herself, getting red in the face because she was upset, he couldn’t help but smile. The use of the term ‘girlfriend’ even stirred a little fluttering feeling in his chest. She considered herself his girlfriend.
Kaidan stepped toward her and gently took her hand. She allowed it this time, and he could feel the trembling in her fingers. She was scared. Not willing to let her remain in such a state, he pressed his lips to the back of her hand and smiled to reassure her that it was okay. The slightest upward curl tugged at the edges of her mouth and he wrapped his arms around her once more. “I’m not going anywhere. And if you go to jail over this, then I hope our cells are right next to each other.”
A tiny burst of relieved laughter escaped her as they stood there intertwined and he savored the sound.
Footsteps echoed in the hallway and Kaidan knew that time was up. They were in for one hell of a debriefing, and it would be best if they didn’t tack the breaking of fraternization regulations onto their already insanely long list of offenses. He stole one tiny kiss before withdrawing and picking up his bag once more.
Shepard took a deep breath and composed herself just before the door slid open to reveal a good many Alliance officers on the other side, including the one that had stopped him from leaving earlier.
“Lieutenant Alenko,” she curtly addressed him. “You are supposed to be in conference room B.”
He put on the show of a lifetime. Sheepishly looking at the door and around at the room, he stammered and sputtered in false humiliation. “This isn’t the right room?”
She stepped aside to point him out the door, obviously rather unimpressed with his lack of sign reading skills. “Down the hall to the left.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he answered with a shamed bow of his head. He turned his head to Shepard for the briefest of moments, who had a completely unreadable and neutral expression on her face. That is, until he offered her a barely perceptible wink and he noticed her fighting off a smile. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder and hustled through the doorway. “My mistake.”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Shepard
Characters: Kaidan Alenko, Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Liara T'Soni, Ashley Williams, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
Additional Tags: Shore Leave, 2183, post-ME1, Pre-ME2, Anxiety, Loss, Love, character death mention, you know... Virmire, Biotics, Colonist (Mass Effect), Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), shepard's got a floordrobe, she's bad at keeping track of her socks, packing for air travel (ugh), post traumatic stress symptoms, air travel and self doubt, Swearing, References to Sex, more references to socks, mostly just socks and feelings, oh and kaidan alenko's parents for a hot second
Summary:
It's the last morning of shore leave, and Kaidan and Shepard haven't discuss what the future holds for them. How will they handle returning to life on the Normandy?
For awhile I thought I was on a haitus due to writer’s block on this little fic, but when I re-read it some time last year, I realized that chapter 3 was exactly where I wanted to end it. A little uncertain, the future left open-ended.
(Made a bunch of drabbles, so here we go. We’re starting with Veronica and Kaidan. This is a lot of fluff with some cursing. Enjoy!)
There wasn't much to say as Veronica laid in the hospital bed on Christmas eve. The contractions were becoming quite more frequent, and her hand hadn't left Kaidan's since they'd arrived. She had that same look on her face as when she'd fought Saren nine months prior. Grim determination.
Kaidan gently brushed back some hair from her eyes. "Not exactly where we planned on spending Christmas."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. It's not Christmas yet." Veronica took a glance at her omnitool. "Well, I stand corrected. 12:01. Merry Christmas."
He brought her hand to his lips. "Merry Christmas, Veronica."
"I am approximately the size of a beached whale and I'm done being pregnant." The pair of them laughed. "The beauty mommy bloggers lied to me, LT. There is no glow." She laughed some more until the next contraction hit. "Ahhh, shhhhhhhh..ssssson of a biscuit!"
Kaidan pat her shoulder. "Still trying to swear less?"
"Trying? I'm succeeding, bitch-oh god damn it." Veronica brought a hand to her face in embarrassment.
"Presents after?"
She glared at him. "I thought we said we weren't getting each other gifts."
Kaidan's eyes lit up with laughter. "And you are fooling exactly no one. Mom brought my new armor shield mod in from you."
Veronica shook her head in amusement before finally deciding to accept whatever he offered. Kaidan set a small box in her unoccupied hand. She deadpanned at him. "If this is what I think it is, then I will murder you. Don't even think that I can't."
"I promise you it isn't."
She grumbled something obscene before flicking the box open with her thumbnail. Inside laid a flat, dark green pendant. Veronica tried to catch his eyes, but he wouldn't look at her.
"I remembered you saying green was your favorite color, and I thought maybe you could wear it with your dog tags when we get back to active duty and-"
"Kaidan." He flushed as he finally met her gaze. "Thank you. I love it." Veronica brought his hand up to her lips with a smug smile. She could get used to him being so flustered.
(Garrus Vakarian.) "Alicia Shepard. Her name was Alicia Shepard. And nobody on her crew, her friends, ever knew. She was a legend. No other word is worthy of the legacy that she left behind. She taught me to have mercy even in the most unlikely of circumstances. Shepard was always in a hurry. And she was always late. Because she stopped along the way to help every person she could. That can be said of only a handful of legends throughout history the galaxy. I remember truly meeting Shepard for the first time after she talked down a group of mercs in a hostage situation. I could tell from the crease in her brow that she was special. A type of determined reserved only for those who have seen death and hope all in the same day. Spirits know that she did. Grew up running errands to eat. Never gave up on hope of something better. Shepard was truly a…how do humans say it? Rebel with a cause? Yes. She was an amazing soldier and a friend to all who accepted her help, and even to those who wouldn’t sometimes. There will never be anyone like her in the universe. She will be missed and remembered,” he said. Garrus walked off the platform to sit beside Liara. There wasn’t a body to bury or even her armor or dogtags. Everything was gone. The asari wore a black veil, though it was more Shepard’s culture than her own. She clung to Garrus’ arm, trying not to cry and failing miserably. Tali, sitting on her other side, pat Liara’s back. They’d been hoping for marriage. Maybe even children after all this finished. Garrus couldn’t really imagine Shepard as a mother. Her children probably would have been the most deadly combination of smart and manipulative and compassionate the galaxy had ever seen. And now nobody would ever know. Captain, now councillor, Anderson approached the mournful group slowly. “Dr. T’soni…Liara, do you have a place to stay while everything is being sorted out?” he asked. “I’ve been looking into renting a place on the Citadel until I can find a more permanent residence on Illium, sir,” she answered. Her voice sounded hollow, defeated. “I have an apartment here on the Citadel if you need a place to stay in the mean time. Would you be okay with that?” Anderson continued. “Yes. Thank you. I’ll be out as soon as possible, councillor.” “There’s no rush, Liara. Take as long as you need,” he sighed. He clapped her lightly on the shoulder. She smiled briefly. “Goddess I need a drink,” Liara muttered. Garrus nearly choked on the laughter that caught in his throat. “Something funny, Garrus?” “Nothing. Just thinking about proposing a toast. Celebrate her life rather than mourning her death,” he suggested. “Is that common in turian culture?” she asked. “Yes. I don’t quite comprehend the need for all this doom and gloom, but if it’s what you need in order to heal…” Garrus answered. “No, actually. I think that Alicia would want us to be happy no matter what,” Liara said. “Drinks it is?” Kaiden asked. “Drinks it is!” Garrus laughed. The squad headed straight for Cora’s Den and grabbed a table. A few of the dancers apologized for Liara’s loss, saying they would have been at the funeral had their schedules allowed. The DJ put on Shepard’s favorite song. She always danced to it when she was required to go to the club for business. The turian bartender paid for a round of drinks in honor of "that crazy human spectre who ordered ryncol that one time". Garrus happily drank to that. A few drinks in, some of the conversation got a little sappy. “Y’know, T’soni, I’m going to miss walking behind your girlfriend during missions,” he commented. “Honestly? I feel the same,” she giggled. “Spirits, I remember Shepard always stopping to listen to peoples’ conversations. Is that a normal human thing, Kaiden?” Garrus asked. Kaiden held a hand to his forehead. “Nope. That’s a Shepard thing. Nobody can take that away from her.” “She’s almost nosier than me. Almost,” Tali joked. “I doubt that’s possible, Tali,” Garrus sighed. “She really lived the life of a warrior, and for that she deserves a lot of respect,” Wrex said. “I miss her too, Wrexy,” Liara muttered. “Personally, I thought that Shepard was too stubborn to die,” Tali said. “She might’ve lived to two hundred out of spite,” Kaiden continued. “She would,” Garrus and Liara laughed in stereo. There was a lull in the conversation. "What are we going to do without her?" Kaiden sighed. "We keep doing right by her," Liara answered. "The right way, not the fast way," Garrus said, downing the rest of his drink. "To Shepard. Kind beyond reason with the crazy to match!" Tali raised her glass. "The girl could not drive the Mako straight to save her life, but she'd sure as run over a squad of geth with no hesitation," Kaiden muttered. "C'mon, Garry! Let's go dance!" Tali pleaded. "Oh..I'm sorry. I don't really dance, Tali," Garrus said. "Don't worry! We're intox...intox-i-cated. We can dance however we want," she giggled, leading him over to the dance floor clumsily. Thank goodness none of that dancing was documented.
Kids weren't common in the Wards. Well. Seeing them wasn't. They were everywhere, but the smart ones kept out from underfoot, kept out of sight where no one could grab hold of them.
They didn't tend to waltz right into a weapons shop, but there one was anyway. Tavi awkwardly stood up, opening his mouth to instinctively give his usual greeting before realizing that a kid probably shouldn't be in here at all let alone get a cheerful 'welcome to the shop'.
"...Your parents around?" he asked after a moment.
