I do think Tony and Carmela are an example of the trend in most fictional narratives for male rage to come from being denied something you feel you deserve (acceptance, freedom, love, a fair shot, or in this case a family of origin that loved him and a chance at a healthy adult life), and for female rage to come from exceeding your capacity to absorb the cruelty of others, usually men.
I think one significant difference between Tony and Janice is that Tony can't believe someone loves him until he makes them cry and makes them afraid, because he's only experienced love as suffering and fear, and a lot of people can relate to that even if they can't condone it. But Janice, like Livia, has really primarily experienced love as control and manipulation, so she can't believe someone loves her until that love can be used to manipulate them. It's probably part of the reason people find her character so much harder to sympathize with.
I had an interesting experience in my creative writing class the other day when we were sharing out our journals, and I talked about pre-grief and the constant low-grade anxiety of knowing your parents are in ill health. And this very sweet 20-year-old man said "Everyone thinks this is crazy, but I'm not scared of death at all." And he's a nice guy and I'm not ripping him, but it did make me realize that some things just won't make sense until they make sense. And The Sopranos is amazing because every year that goes by I appreciate it more, and I find myself looking forward to next year because I know I'll find depth and meaning that old stupid me didn't know about. That's the mark of really, really good writing. It's larger than your interpretation of it. It makes you excited to see it with new eyes.
So in my previous post, I mentioned that I was cast as Enid Hoopes in University Theatre’s production of Legally Blonde: The Musical.
Now this came as a gigantic surprise to me because of three things.
1. the original Enid was played by a white woman (Natalie Joy Johnson)
2. I was told that I was cast because the director was stuck on who to cast, and then was given my headshot with a very not so subtle “How about her?” and decided on me
3. Enid is a very loud, brassy type person, and I’m just...not (until I feel comfortable)
So this Enid Hoopes, circa MTV’s recording of the original cast:
And this is me as Enid, in the same scene (The Harvard Variations):
(excuse my vulgar pose, but I just had really sweet boots and I needed them in the picture)
I really enjoyed the costumes for Enid -- very comfortable, and similar to what I would wear on a daily basis. But the most interesting thing about playing Enid was considering what motivated her as a character throughout the musical.
Her first couple of lines in “The Harvard Variations” were “I did the Peace corps overseas inoculating refugees in family clinics that I built myself from mud and trees...” leading to her declaration that “this country’s out of whack and only womyn have the guts to go and take it back. We’ll make the government come clean, and get more people voting green, and really stick it to the phallocentric war machine!”
(”I love your top. It is so fatigue-chic!”)
To me, Enid was very much a person still thinking of feminism in terms of first-wave feminism. If I were a white woman, it would very much be white feminism, but since I wasn’t, I could add more dimension to how I thought as Enid. I didn’t want to play her as the straight trope of “militant, feminist, lesbian” (even though that was how I described her in a nutshell), because playing stereotypes just makes me very uncomfortable.
I think the important part was to figure out why I did everything. As Enid, I believed in hard work, and that building success against all odds was the biggest achievement possible. Her bravado came from her own accomplishments and ambitions, as she sang about them in “The Harvard Variations” (there’s a reason that Padamadan, Schultz, and Hoopes are the three students in that song singing “Harvard’s the perfect place for me!”). With that reasoning, it made sense to me why she would respond to Callahan the way she did in “Blood in the Water” (“What, you think I wouldn’t defend him, just ‘cause he’s a typical man?”), and then slowly change after the Harvard party scene.
I wish I could spend more time talking about the headcanons I had for Enid. I also wish I could have found out what the other cast members had as backstories for their characters (especially Elle and Emmett and Vivienne and Warner and...), since there were some hilarious ones (Aaron Schultz overcompensating for his micropenis, according to his actor).
But there was a general consensus among the cast members that I talked to that, the play would be so much more complex and interesting if there was a higher number of people of color. To be honest, the cast was pretty diverse in that way (could be more), and it was amazing by the time we were putting on the final performance.
I think this sort of proves to me that, if a character’s ethnicity isn’t explicity stated or plot-important, there really is no reason to cast by ethnicity. I don’t need to be so worried about being limited by being Taiwanese-American, instead of being white-American.
Can I just say, this is my first time in a show where I’m not a part of the ensemble?
Not to say that the ensemble for this show doesn’t have fun, but there’s still something so gratifying about finally being a named character in a production.
And what a production it has been. This show began its rehearsal process around March 9th, and finally closed on May 3rd. About a week was spent teching the show in the performance space, and four days were given to the audience to experience the production.
This is also my last show as an undergraduate at UW-Madison.
I remember on the first day of rehearsals, the whole cast, designers, and management team sitting in a (dank) room of Vilas basement. There were so many names, I wondered if I could remember them all. There were faces and names I knew, but didn’t have a chance to get acquainted with before then.
Today we all departed as family members.
I don’t think, in a million years, would I have expected being cast as Enid Hoopes. I don’t know what the director saw in me, whatever that potential was, but she saw it, and gave me the opportunity. As much shit as I give her for a lot of the (inefficient) decisions that happened during the show, I am eternally grateful for her decision to cast me as Enid.
Scott, the music director, and his wife Kitt. Oh my God, Kitt. During our first few sing-throughs, I was so excited I would bob and move along to the music as we sang. One, it helps me keep time, two I was just excited to be a part of a show that I had watched on youtube obsessively (ten times at least) over summer. And at one point, Kitt approached me and said something along how much she enjoyed watching me, and how I had so much energy.
Having dealt with almost ten years of self-esteem issues regarding my ability to perform, that was like rainfall over dried land.
And that rain never stopped falling. Not only because of what Kitt said, it was because of every rehearsal I was called, I walked away with something I knew I could improve on. More things I could try, as an actor, and as the character.
My favorite moment during this whole process was when we were rehearsing the staging for Chutney’s trial, the actress (Isabel) used a different version of her usual heavy Boston (?) accent. Before then, she used a rather nasal, heavy version of the accent, and one night, she used another version that sounded higher pitched.
And very comical.
I remember the director asking her why, and I think she said that it was because the normal accent was hard on her soft palate, and she wanted to save her voice. It made sense, and I think the director just went with it.
Unfortunately, none of us could keep our shit.
I know there was a lot of snickering, snorting, and suppressed-to-the-point-of-shaking laughter. I know I exchanged glances with the court stenographer (played by Jamie Herb) several times, and had to work our faces into a very forced smile just so we wouldn’t laugh.
I forget who (might’ve been Scott), but someone just called for us to hold. We did. And then we were told to just laugh it out.
And we did.
Everyone could not keep it together. People were howling. People were clutching their stomachs. Everyone was laughing so much, so hard, there was just so much euphoria in the room, it made the taxing day just less tense.
So in my introduction post, I listed Greater Tuna as one of the shows I'm working on, and in fact today was the last performance until we remount again in September.
So after closing, what can I say about being a part of a wardrobe crew? For starters, it's a great job for those who suck at smelling things. Oh sure, I can feel the actors sweat soaking into the pits of a costume or into the back of a collar, but I can't smell it at all. It also helped that I always sprayed the insides of the costumes liberally with some kind of fabric odor-kill.
my duties before each run of the show would basically be check up on the costumes, replace the pit pads (they were placed where the actors' armpits would be in order to absorb the sweat and shield the costume from that nasty business), double check the dryer for any laundry that should be brought up to the actor's changing rooms, and then just check up with the two other wardrobe crew members.
So the show's big point is that it features 2 actors, playing around 10-11 characters each. Yes, in the same play, so you can imagine how much work is cut out for the wardrobe crew already! Some of the changes have about 3 minutes to complete, while others need to be done within 0.8 seconds.
The crew at that point is extremely vital to making sure the show runs smoothly, because every second onstage where nothing is happening feels like forever to both audience and the people involved. I feel like we all grew friendly with each other a few runs past opening, because everyone's work is appreciated. Even though I don't talk to the other two crew members often, I've enjoyed working with them and joking occasionally behind the curtain.
The actors were also awesome -- I've had one of them as a TA before, both of them as classmates, and worked on a show (Richard III) with both, so I was already familiar with their faces.
Let me tell you, grown mid-20 something men in nylons are still ridiculous dorks. It's the best thing to witness. And then seeing them playing old (dog hating) ladies in (racist) rural Texas is hilarious.
I've enjoyed this summer run, I look forward to seeing how well we're received by the audience in September when we have more students coming in to see us. I don't know if I have the willpower to translate this write-up in Chinese, but I might do something of the sort.
Great ep! I can't have Kalicia but I'll take me some Kalinda + ladies any day. Watch her disappear to the background again after the winter break :S Alicia >>>> Will tho.
