More Than One
Tonight I thought of you as the clouds bore down with their full weight and my heart found itself breathless. I chose to look for solace in music and I found it in Carole King. I have a friend. Do you remember that one time. Yes, that time. We cried. I cried for you. Because I knew that what I'd told you was a heavy burden. Do you still bear it? Like a phantom anchor, does it still hold you at bay on the pools of your memory? I came to you once. Inconsolable. My family relations were like needles piercing my being. Pain all over. You wanted to knock that bitches teeth down her throat. After all that, oh how we long for each other, and we mutually profess our love for the other. God what fire burns within you. Do you ever burn yourself? Remember when we weren't friends? I still have the letter and part of the box. That night we said Farewell. We danced and cried in that little room. Why do we have to live like it's all or nothing? So much trespassed and time hadn't crept any slower for us. I had sex that night. For five seconds. Engine sputtered. I remember the first night we met. You wouldn't let me forget. I sat on her lap giving all the pastel fierceness as I did my little dance on her lap and talked of genitalia. Female. Did you think you'd fall for me? All those times spent driving, riding, listening to rock and communing with the gods. Smoke signals. My world was upside down, and you taught me it's OK to walk on the ceiling. #WeFlawlessQueers We were rebels. Even now our families don't know what to do with us. I still hate your father for what he did. When he found out. It really was all a joke wasn't it? Unreal. All those field trips to McDonald's and shopping, riding and letting the wind and music do the talking. Our comfortable silence is the best. Will I ever have a car?
If only you were here, now. Sitting on the other end of this bed, facing me as we alternate eye contact and glances out of the window. I could share the worry of what happens when they don't give me a visa for Bangladesh. You could help me laugh at how quick tempered I currently am. Fuck the bullshit. We'd find some justification. It's the cough isn't it? And Diarrhea. 4 days. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Uoyevoli (reads backwards)