Ok but pre-transformation Perpetua is clearly just going through it and trying so hard to be a good monk but any amount of doubt or struggle is being thrown in his face and punished and lectured away and I feel for him so bad bc like OF COURSE he'd turn to Lucifer at that point. OF COURSE he's got grudges. Like, wouldn't you??? I feel like so many exvangelicals (myself included) can relate to this it's so.... UGH















