It’s just past midnight so I can post this before going to bed!
@febuwhump day 2: Holding Back the Tears
Warning: Potential MCD, CPR
~
She was standing at the window, looking out over the back yard where he assumed Gordon and Alan were splashing in the pool while Scott supervised and Virgil pretended to be meditating on what he would paint next but was fooling no one with his snores…
John couldn’t see her face but he knew his Mom would be smiling while the bowl on her hip was furiously whisked. He leaned against the door frame and continued watching.
The light was on the side of her hair so that one side looked almost fiery red with golden highlights while the other stayed a little duller, the loose curls bobbing in time to the beating whisk.
Mom was dressed as always – a simple combination of slacks and blouse with a bright emerald scarf tied around her head to keep her hair out of her eyes. Upon her feet were the mismatched house socks she favoured – never the same together in a way that used to make John’s OCD itch but now made him smile sadly.
Something outside made her laugh and she turned as she put the bowl down, catching sight of him and grinning at him.
‘John! You’ve joined us!’
‘Mom.’
‘Come! Come over, let’s go see your Grandpa and Nanna England.’
But John didn’t move. He fought his emotions, holding back the tears that threatened to spill over at any second.
‘John?’
‘I can’t, Mamma.’
Mamma. That was Scott’s name for their Mom. John had grown out of that name when he was three years old. But today it felt right.
Lucy didn’t pause but she did frown. It didn’t stay there long as she held her hand out for John to take.
‘Don’t be silly, John. Let’s go.’
Her words were light but the tone of voice had shifted a little, and before John was aware of it he’d stepped forward, taken her hand and they were…
…they were on Grandpa’s farm.
Blinking, John looked around for his brothers, but there was no sign of anyone. The air smelt as it always had when the wheat was ripe and the sun was shining, and once more John found he was holding back tears.
There was a groan of metal hinges. He looked over to see the barn door open and Grandpa Grant came out, leading John’s and Scott’s horses behind him. John had taken a step forward when he realised that his Mom wasn’t holding his hand any longer. He turned to see her walking away but she didn’t answer him, she just opened the back door and disappeared indoors.
‘Mom?’
‘Your Mom’s a little busy right now, Johnny.’
‘Grandpa? What’s going on?’
‘You don’t remember what happened?’
‘What happened?’
John frowned. Grandpa stopped just in front of him and held out Antares’ reins to him, and John took them. Grandpa had an apple in his other hand, and John absently took it and held it out to Antares who happily munched it.
‘Wait – why is Scott’s horse here? Grandpa? Why is Scott…Mom? Mom!’
John dropped Antares’ reins and turned to run back into the house but the door opened and his Mom stepped out before he’d got very far.
She wasn’t alone.
Scott was with her, blinking in the sunlight.
‘Ah, there you are Scott.’
‘Grandpa?’
‘I got Blackbird ready for you, Scotty. Johnny – you dropped your reins.’
‘Grandpa, what’s going on?’
‘You and Scott have some decisions to make.’
‘We do?’
You do. Your Mom and me will be here no matter what you decide.’
‘Decide?’
But the scene had changed already.
Grandpa and Mom, the farm…everything had gone. Just Scott and himself on their old horses, walking along one of the desert trails at Gran Roca.
Scott had yet to say anything to him, but he kept looking around as if he was puzzled as to where they were. Occasionally he stole glances at John, and John pretended not to notice. But as they continued walking John began putting the pieces together of what had happened…
Suddenly Scott pulled on his reins and brought Blackbird to a stop. He looked at John fully for the first time since he’d appeared.
‘I – I think I’m gonna go back.’
‘Scott – no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘I’m tired, John. And I wanna go home.’
‘Please, Scott. Please, stay with me!’
‘I – I don’t think I can. I’m sorry, John.’
And without waiting Scott wheeled Blackbird around and set off back the way they had come. John didn’t hesitate to send Antares after him.
‘John!’
Gordon’s voice came out of nowhere and with it a sudden piercing pain in his chest.
‘John! Please, don’t leave me! Don’t leave us.’
The world whited out with the pain and John screamed.
When he opened his eyes the desert had gone. Antares had gone.
He was on the ground, Gordon leaning over him with fear warring relief on his face.
‘You back with us, bro?’
‘Scott!’
Gordon’s face fell and he glanced to John’s right. John turned his head and this time he didn’t bother to hold back the tears.
Virgil and Alan were working hard on Scott.
But their brother wasn’t responding to the CPR.
