Dating Site Humor #5
This one's a bit long because I wanted to include every bit of the creepiness.
Name: jimmyjoebob469
Age: 53
In his message to me.... " ?you are almost perfect match for me Ms Lillian... almost.... i want 1or 2 children of our own.... and No Drugs at all... I know you want me to take you as you are... but those are deal breakers for me...think about it... .... Jimmyjoe
"I copied and pasted so that's all him... Even the weird question mark at the beginning.
His bio: " I can not respond to "likes"... Please send me a message..."Outdoorsy person... enjoy many outdoor activities... but not afraid to stay in watch TV and give a massage... I need a woman that is well woman but not afraid to break a fingernail.... I like my better half to be with me whenever we''re not working... she needs to be a cuddler... a lover nymphomaniac.... she must be willing to please and be please... I prefer petite women but not limited to that "
I never respond to profiles like this. But Oh. Mah. Gootniss.... I have so many potential responses in my head for this one. Most of them smartassy, but seriously..... Men like this are the reason so many women are afraid to do simple things like walk to the mailbox without some pepper spray or something. Sheesh, dude! You is scary!
And I'm making it a point not to include photos in this series because it's not fair to expose these people outright, but let me tell you, he looked like........ Imagine if Major Iceborg from Fifth Element was a bald man and a serial killer
