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Oct 4, 2025

Pretty Pretty Please, I Don't Wanna Be a Celestial Guardian!

Hey remember that magical girl au I never talk about. Here's a snippet.

Pretty Pretty Please, Don't Blow Up My School!

Lloyd

Lloyd stared up at the multi-storied school building, throat tight from both anxiety and excitement. Other students (people! His age!!) filtered through the doors around him, a few sending him strange looks. He didn't notice, too caught up in his internal crisis.

Whatever you do, be normal. Be so super normal. Because I am so super normal, totally normal kid with a totally normal, unassuming life. I've definitely gone to school before, and I definitely know how it works, and I'm 90% positive people don't actually burst into song at random but just in case I'll have to find the closest exits in every room—

"Hey, you're blocking the door."

Lloyd startled, a high-pitched eep! escaping him. He spun around, eyes blown wide. Another boy, seemingly his age but unfairly much taller than him, stood on the stone step behind him. He had tanned skin, a tiny mole by his right eye, and smooth black hair. He looked incredibly bored, a suitcase at his side.

"You know, people have rooms to move into? You're sort of blocking the way in…"

Panicked, Lloyd furtively glanced around only to realize that everyone had already made it inside while he was busy gawking at the ginormous boarding school. Embarrassed, he quickly moved aside, a flush on his face. "Sorry," he muttered, hanging his head. After a beat, though, he perked up again. "But, actually, could you help me find my dorm room?"

The other student gave him an odd look. "Didn't you move all your stuff in over the weekend?" He asked, a brow raised. "Everybody was supposed to use that time to get familiar with their dorms."

Lloyd flushed again, rubbing his neck. "Well, er… I actually got a little caught up over the weekend…?" Actually, he'd been desperately trying to scrounge up the money for Darkley's outrageously expensive uniform. He had exactly two sets of the same outfit.

The other student sighed, glancing at a wristwatch. "…sure, I have the time before orientation. Do you know your room number?"

Lloyd wasted no time digging into the bag over his shoulder, fishing around his scarce belongings for a crumpled piece of paper. The other student wrinkled his nose at the disorganization. Lloyd quickly unfolded his schedule and checked the room number at the very top. "Um, room 210!" He blurted out, a little overexcited. Once again, an embarrassed flush took over his face.

However, at his admission, the other student looked mildly surprised. "Huh," he said, averting his eyes as his grip adjusted on the handle of his blue suitcase. "…me too, actually. Guess we're roommates. I was wondering where you were last weekend…"

Lloyd grinned, leaning in close. The slight height difference afforded to him by the stairs made him just barely eye-level with his roommate. "Really?! That's awesome, I've always wanted a roommate! I'm Lloyd, by the way!"

His roommate(!!!) cleared his throat, taking a small step back as a tiny blush crept up his ears. "…I'm, uh, Brad. Nice to meet you, Lloyd. So, uh, can I get inside now…?"

Lloyd jumped back, allowing Brad to pass. Ugh, he was so laid-back! Lloyd wished he was better at acting like that, but ever since he'd received the acceptance letter to Darkley's, he'd been incapable of not getting excited over every little thing. In his defense, anybody would be excited to go to a prestigious boarding school! He still couldn't believe he'd been accepted at all.

Brad led him through the school building, uncaring of the many award cases and dioramas Lloyd gawked at along the way. Their shared dormitory was on the third floor of the building, at the end of the hall. One half of the room was already decorated, plants and comics stacked on shelves alongside textbooks. The other half was barren. A hard mattress, an empty wardrobe, and a desk was all that filled the space.

It was perfect.

Lloyd spun in a slow circle, dropping his bag on the desk. "Wow," he muttered. "We have this all to ourselves?"

Brad shot him another weird look. "Yeah, though we have to share the toilet and shower with the people next door. You're not seriously impressed by this, are you?"

Lloyd shrugged, hopping onto the mattress. No pillow or sheets, but it was softer than most things he usually slept on. "It's the biggest bedroom I've ever had," he admitted, still glancing around the space.

"…you only get half of it, you know."

Lloyd nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Brad winced. "That's depressing, man," he said, shaking his head, but Lloyd ignored his pessimism. Starting today, he was going to school, he had a bedroom of his own, and he was going to start a real life. And he had a roommate! A built-in friend! This cloud had so many silver linings it was all white!

Lloyd took his schedule out of his pocket. "You said something about orientation, right?" He asked. "Where is that?"

"Homeroom classes," Brad responded, dumping his suitcase on his own blue bedspread. "It's easier than stuffing everyone in the gym or cafeteria. Since we're roommates, we should have the same homeroom. I already know where it is, if you need help finding it."

Lloyd grinned. "That's great! What other classes do you have?"

His roommate hummed. "Chemistry honors, AP bio, AP lang, P.E… ugh, I hate P.E… I'm taking their botany course, too."

"Aw, man," Lloyd pouted, glancing at his own schedule. "We'd only have P.E together… is yours fourth period?"

"Yes, thank god," Brad muttered, folding up a hoodie. "I don't need to be sweating all day. I'm so glad we only have four periods…"

Was that not normal? Lloyd fell silent, not wanting to say something stupid, and instead busied himself with combing over his schedule for the third time. He didn't have much to unpack — only his uniforms, a few pencils and a notebook, and a spare hoodie and pair of jeans. He never had much leftover money after getting food. Though, it was lucky that his clothes were almost always fresh and clean. They must be pretty high quality.

"C'mon," Brad shrugged on a small bag, holding his phone in his hand. "Orientation starts at 9. We'll be late if we don't start moving now."

"Right!" Lloyd hopped to his feet, scuffed shoes squeaking on the floor. He followed Brad back into the hallway, hands held behind his back. "I hope the elevators are free…"

As luck would have it, the elevator was both empty and already on the third floor, so it took no time at all to walk inside and start heading back downstairs. Their path took them through a few different hallways, all remarkably devoid of much foot traffic, and to the door of 'R. Kognito'.

"Mr. Kognito?" Brad read aloud skeptically. "Yeah, real subtle…"

Lloyd hesitated for a moment, wringing his hands anxiously. "…hey, you wouldn't, um, mind… sitting with me? It's just, I don't know anybody else-"

"Sure," Brad said shortly, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't really care where I sit anyways. Besides, you seem like someone who'll actually pay attention to whatever's going on."

Lloyd blinked. "And… you won't?"

"Nah," he responded and offered no further explanation.

When they entered the room, they picked their seats by the window, a calm view of the gardens just outside. They entered just before the bell rang, settling down as a man — their teacher, presumably — stood from behind his desk.

"Alright, shut up," he said loudly, despite nobody talking very much. He had overgrown, slightly greasy brown hair, a mess of unshaved stubble, and a strange eye patch over his left eye. His suit — if you could call it that — was shabby and cheap, an unflattering shade of brown. He turned off the lights and flicked on the projector. "I've got some video to show you lot, so be quiet during it and fill out these forms." He slid a sheet of paper onto Lloyd's desk, his being the closest, and grunted. "Or don't, I don't actually care. Watch the video or don't, I don't care, but you better not ask me questions because you weren't paying attention."

One girl with slick black hair and a crisp uniform raised her hand. "Um, Mr. Kognito? I wanted to talk to you about my schedule-"

"One, don't call me that," he said gruffly. "I don't do that 'Mister' or 'Professor' crap, just call me Ronin." Oh, Lloyd could get behind this. "Two, talk to your counselor about your schedule, not me."

He paused, then added, "Actually, nobody talk to me at all." With that, he slumped into his chair and pulled up a stained magazine.

Lloyd quickly bent his head and starting filling out the paper, letting the video play in the background. His pencil tapped the paper lightly as his thoughts began to drift, gaze sliding over to the window.

He really was excited to be attending this school, but being here now, surrounded by so many perfect-looking students… he couldn't help but feel out of place. They were all here because of outstanding grades, charity work, academic awards and of course, their parents' money. Lloyd was the school charity case. He's only here because…

"Please," he whispered, laying flat on the roof and staring up at the stars above. "I wish for the school to accept me, please."

…well, it's not like he'd known what he was doing at the time! It really was just a dumb sentiment that he didn't expect anything out of! How was he supposed to know someone was listening?!

Wait a goddamn minute.

Lloyd's eyes refocused at the sight of a small black shape fluttering by the window, a blight against the perfectly blue sky. He narrowed his eyes, trying to get a better look.

"No way…" he muttered, eyes slowly widening. Oh, goddammit! What was he doing here?!

"Shit shit shit," he muttered under his breath, quickly stuffing his things back into his bag. Brad glanced over at him curiously.

"Hey, what are you-?"

"No time, I'll see you at lunch!" Lloyd hissed and jumped to his feet. "I'm going to the bathroom Mr. R!"

"Uh huh," the man grumbled, clearly not paying attention. Lloyd dashed out of the classroom, stumbling over his own feet until he reached a bathroom. He quickly shoved the door open and slammed it shut behind him, slumping against the metal.

"Whew," he wheezed, head thumping back against the door. "I'll have to hide out in here until he leaves…"

"Nice try, Star."

Lloyd's eyes shot open at the horribly familiar voice. In front of him, a grumpy-faced black bat hovered at face level, somehow managing to look both disapproving and pissed off at the same time. A trail of pale comet light followed in the bat's wake, the same starlit pattern as the cosmic nebula that made up his sharp wings.

Lloyd let out a long, despairing cry as he collapsed to the floor, pounding the ground with his fist. "Nooooo…! No, no, no-o-o-!"

Morro, his recent and very annoying magical stalker bat, gave him a flat look. "Get off that dirty-ass floor," he said, then under his breath, "God, you're dramatic."

As Lloyd reluctantly rose from the floor, Morro continued berating him, tiny black face scrunched up in irritation. "A box, Lloyd? Really?! You put me in a box?! I'm lucky it broke when I pushed it off the dresser!"

Lloyd hung his head, scuffing the floor with the toe of his shoe. "I knew you'd get out!" He protested. "…eventually. I just want you off my back, you creep! You're always following me, talking crazy and calling me a star…!"

"Because you are one!" Morro snapped. "I've told you, it's my responsibility to bring you back to Ninjago City to meet my master so he can train you to use your powers! You have a cosmic destiny, and he's the only person who can prepare you for it!"

Lloyd folded his arms, glaring at the celestial bat. "Yeah, like I'd believe that," he said stubbornly. Morro squawked.

"I'm a talking bat made out of a nebula! What more proof do you need?!"

"I don't care what proof you have!" Lloyd protested, fists clenched. "Leave me alone! I'm not a 'star', and I'm not going to become a magical girl!"

"Celestial! Guardian!"

"Same difference!" With a defeated sigh, Lloyd rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ugh, just… leave me alone, please," he pleaded, opening the bathroom door and stepping aside for Morro to take his leave. "This is the first real shot I've ever had at being normal, so don't blow this for me. Whatever 'destiny' needs fulfilling, please, find somebody else."

Morro gave him a silent, appraising look before finally sighing. The bat swooped down, hovering in the doorway. "…fine. But take this, just in case." He tossed a tiny object at Lloyd, which he caught in his hands. It was a small golden star token, about the size of a charm on a bracelet.

"What is it?" He asked, pinching it between two fingers.

"Your powers are still weak, and you don't have much control over them," Morro said, clearly irritated that Lloyd didn't want to train these so-called 'powers'. "As a Nebula, I have a certain connection to Stars like you."

"Not a star," Lloyd interjected on reflex. Morro ignored him.

"I can act as a conduit of your power using that token," Morro informed him. "Just focus your energy on it and wish for whatever you need. Its power is limited, but if you're ever in danger, I'll know."

Lloyd stared at the little token in his palm for a few long moments before giving in. "…okay," he relented, pocketing the star. "But that's it. Just leave me alone."

"I'll be close," Morro said ominously, then swooped out of the bathroom, a comet trail in his wake. Lloyd watched him fly away with a deadpan expression, trying to ignore the burning star in his pocket.

…well, there goes his good mood.

Lloyd found Brad again in the lunchroom, desperately trying to recapture his enthusiasm as he sat across from his roommate. "Sorry I ran out," he said sheepishly, scratching his cheek. "You don't mind me sitting here, right…?"

Brad barely glanced up at him. "Hm? Yeah, sure. Do whatever you want. …you're not sick, are you?"

Lloyd flushed, remembering his excuse of using the bathroom. "N-no," he mumbled, face red. "Um, what are you reading?" He asked, desperate to change the subject.

Now it was Brad's turn to blush. "Just, uh… Starfarer," he muttered, flashing the graphic novel for Lloyd to see. On the cover, a cutesy-looking magical girl flashed a striking pose, a star-shaped wand in hand. "I guess those new Magical Girls in Ninjago City sparked my interest…"

Lloyd grimaced, mood deflating even more. Of course, the Magical Girls. Or, as Morro insisted was their proper title, the Celestial Guardians. Only a few weeks ago, five mysterious teens blessed with the powers of the cosmos and armed with six-inch heels sharper than knives, glowing wands, and flying motorcycles (he really didn't understand that last one) had defeated some kind of evil skeleton monster in sparkly tutus. They'd taken the entire world by storm ever since, but their appearances were confined to fighting off lesser hordes of skeletons in the city. Nobody knew to what end they were attacking, but it made for great news.

Lloyd couldn't care less. Because, barely a day after those Magical Girls defeated the skeleton king and set off a magical meteor shower… Morro had shown up, calling him a 'star' and demanding he return to Ninjago City with him to fulfill some kind of magical destiny.

Yeah, no thanks. He's good.

Brad noticed his scrunched-up expression. "Not a fan?" He asked with a dry smirk.

Lloyd waved it off, poking his food. "Not really into the frilly dresses," he mumbled, the star token burning a hole into his skin. Before Brad could tease him more — and seriously, when did Magical Girls become cool? Though, defeating a giant evil skeleton was definitely a point in their favor — the entire cafeteria suddenly shook, as though a bomb had set off under the floor. A hush fell over the cafeteria as the rumbling grew louder, until-

The wall was blown open.

Lloyd and Brad both shot to their feet as the lunchroom exploded into a chorus of screams, students scrambling to run from the crumbling brick wall. Smoke wafted into the cafeteria as a dark silhouette stepped over the rubble, stature confident — or maybe arrogant.

"Where are you, Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars…"

When the smoke cleared, the cafeteria emptied aside from Lloyd and his roommate, the figure became clear. It was another teenager, a girl, dressed in a sharp purple half-suit, half-dress. Long, silky bone-white hair draped elegantly down her shoulders, half of her pale face covered by a black half-moon mask. She grinned wide, spreading her arms.

"Show yourself!"

Brad stumbled backward as dread washed over Lloyd. "Wh- what the hell…?!" Brad gasped, eyes wide. "Who is that?!"

Lloyd groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Why couldn't it have been a fire drill?!" His cries were muffled but no less despairing.

"Oh, Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars!" The girl yelled loudly, a huge, borderline manic grin on her face. She held a wand in one hand, the end bursting at the seams with uncontrolled black power. "I know you're here! You'd better come out and protect this precious school before I blow it to bi-its~!"

Goddammit, was she really here for him?! But she hadn't noticed him yet… maybe he could use this chance to sneak away…

Brad interrupts his foolproof plan. "Hey, what the fuck?!" He yells. "Get the hell out of here, you psycho!"

Lloyd stared at him in disbelief. Was he crazy?!

The evil Magical Girl(???) gave a tiny hum, distracted by the yell as her one visible eye flicked over to Brad. She chuckled, placing one hand on her hip. "Are you talking to me?" She asked, her wand hand pressed to her chest arrogantly. Condescendingly, she bent over with both hands on her knees like she was talking to a small child or animal. "Oh, I'm sorry! I could barely hear you. You're so small and insignificant. But, if you must know…"

She straightened, a proud, arrogant hand to her chest as she loudly declared, "I am the vassal of the Dark Lord, carrier of his evil will and the blight that blots out light! I am the Quiet One: Eclipse!"

Lloyd cringed. "God, that's corny…" He muttered, a tad too loudly. Eclipse laughed, turning her attention to him.

"And who might you be, Blondie?"

Lloyd glared at her fiercely. "Can it, Moon Girl!" Eclipse squawked in offense, caught off her game. Lloyd quickly turned to Brad. "C'mon, let's get out of here!" He pleaded. But Eclipse was still pissed.

"How dare you, worm?!" Eclipse screamed, stomping her heeled foot. "I am no Moon! I told you, I am Eclipse, vassal of darkness! I will smite you!"

She pointing her sparking wand at Lloyd, a malicious black hole quickly growing in the crook of the crescent moon shape. Lloyd glared back, gritting his teeth. "Do it, you won't!" He yelled, pissed off now too. Couldn't he have one normal day?! All he wants is to go to school, make friends, and get good grades! He just wants a normal life!

"Don't test me!" Eclipse yelled, face growing hot. "I will! I'm doing it right now!"

"I'm wa-aiting!"

Out of nowhere, Brad suddenly slid in front of Lloyd, blocking him from Eclipse's view completely. Lloyd stared, stunned, as the boy blocked him with his own body. "Don't touch him!" Brad yelled, voice shaking. Black bolts of lightning shot off of Eclipse's wand as the miniature black hole grew bigger and bigger, showing no signs of stopping.

…ugh. There really wasn't much of a choice now, was there? Dammit, Morro.

He pulled the star token from his pocket, clutching it tightly in his fist. I wish… I wish…

Eclipse's wand went off, a sphere of black energy flying right for Brad's face. The taller teen screeched, stumbling backward. "I regret this so much-!"

"I wish for a shield!"

Lloyd lunged forward, one arm wrapping around Brad as the other hand was enveloped in a giant star-shaped shield. White and gold spilled from his fingertips, glowing with the force of a sun. The shield absorbed the impact of the black hole, leaving only a light dusting of glitter to flutter to the floor.

Lloyd panted, a line of sweat dripping down the side of his face. That… was way harder than he thought it would be. He glanced down. "Are you okay?"

Brad stammered, staring at him with stars in his eyes. Literally. There were a few bouncing off of Lloyd's gold-tinted skin, though he had no clue where they came from. "Y-you- you're a—"

Eclipse cackled from the crumbled wall. "Aha! There you are, Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars! I knew you were here!"

Brad gasped, gaping at Lloyd. "Star Guardian?! You're actually a-?!"

Eclipse hopped to the floor with a flourish of her half-skirt and a smirk. "A Celestial Guardian?" She finished. "Yes, he is. And not only that, but my soon-to-be arch-nemesis!"

"Sorry, your what?" Lloyd deadpanned, lowering the shield.

"And also-" Eclipse started proudly, only for Brad to gasp again, his laid-back attitude totally gone as he clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Wait! Magical love interest?!"

Lloyd pulled a disgusted face as Eclipse laughed loudly, vigorously nodding her head. "Haha, yes!" She cried at the same as he yelped, "Ew, no!"

Lloyd groaned loudly, pushing Brad — who was way too excited about this, Lloyd seriously misjudged him — behind him. "Ugh, I guess I have to deal with this now," he grumbled. He raised the star-shield over his head, incredibly irritated by the turn of events. "Morro, where are you?!"

Brad bounced on his feet. "Are you about to do a magical girl transformation?!" He cried, clutching his head.

"I thought I told you, I'm not into the frilly dress look!"

Right on cue, a black bat swooped in through the busted cafeteria wall and spun in a tight spiral around Lloyd, a nebula streaming from his wings and casting the blonde in celestial light.

"I knew you'd need me!" Morro crowed smugly, hovering over him. "Ha, you didn't even last an hour!"

Lloyd glared at him. "You're the worst."

"Magical mascot?!" Brad all but screamed, jaw practically on the floor. Morro shrugged.

"I prefer magical mentor, but whatever. Lloyd, like I told you! All you have to do-"

"Is wish on a stupid star, I know!" Lloyd snapped. "So just gimme another one!" Grumbling, Morro summoned another golden charm, which Lloyd snatched out of the air and held tightly in both hands.

I wish… I wish…

"I wish for a wand!"

Morro yelped. "Hey, wait, that's too much-!"

Too late. A spindle of light emanated from the charm as it warped and grew. A long, golden handle spun into existence from its base as the star itself grew to the size of his head, emitting a powerful golden glow. Lloyd winced as the toll of the magic dragged down at him. Shaking, he clutched the golden rod in both hands and pointed it at Eclipse.

"You better leave!" He yelled, his voice hoarse. He felt dizzy already, a cold sweat on the back of his neck. "Or I'll use this thing!"

Eclipse grinned sharply, eye twitching as she pointed her wand at him, its black hole contrasting with his star like day and night. "I've come on a mission, I'm afraid! So, Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars-"

"For the last time, I'm not a Celestial Guardian!"

"-you'll be coming back with me!" Yet another sparking sphere of black energy shot out from her wand, aimed right at Lloyd's head. He grit his teeth, and like firing a gun, shot out a burst of golden light from the tip of the wand's star. It met the black hole head-on, exploding it in a burst of light. The black hole's energy rebounded back to Eclipse, electrocuting her on the spot.

Lloyd dropped to his hands and knees, panting heavily. The wand clattered to the ground and vanished in a puff of sparkles, its magic all used up. He was shaking all over, the blood drained from his face. Brad rushed to his side to support him.

"What was that?" He hissed. "You collapsed!"

Morro hovered in front of Lloyd's face, expression tight with worry and disapproval. "It's because he's not strong enough for that stuff yet," he said purposefully. "My magic can only do so much of the work; the rest of it is on his power. You're not experienced enough for the toll, Star."

Lloyd grit his teeth. Stupid wish magic…

Across the cafeteria, Eclipse had finally stopped writhing from the pain of her own power. She shakily got to her feet, stumbling and swaying. "T-this isn't over! I'll be back, Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars! As soon as m-my bones heal!" With that, she cast a dark shadow over her form and disappeared, leaving not a trace behind.

Morro frowned. "She does know she doesn't have to say the full thing every time, right…?"

Brad helped Lloyd to his feet, beaming at him. "Lloyd, you were amazing!" He gushed. "I can't believe you're really a Magical Girl!"

Lloyd grumbled, leaning on him heavily. "Not really," he muttered. Morro, without so much as asking because he sucks, perched on Lloyd's shoulder.

"Only because you refuse to train," he said. Brad looked confused.

"Huh? Why wouldn't you want to train magic powers?"

Lloyd shook his head. "To be honest… I don't wanna be a Magical Girl," he admitted.

Just then, the bell rang. Lloyd breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god, class…!"

"Wait, but what about that Eclipse girl?!" Brad protested. "She was after you, wasn't she? What if she comes back?!"

"Meh, I'll just fend her off again. She obviously wasn't that strong…"

Harumi collapsed in the dark interior of the Dark Lord's lair, body still fried from the… ahem… incident. She quickly scrambled to kneel, nervous sweat on her brow. Ah, she fucked up.

"I'm back, my lord!" She declared, trying to play it off cool.

On his throne, the Dark Lord observed her coldly. Black holes surrounded their master, etched into the fabric of his clothes and skin alike. Any light that may have existed within the realm was sucked into his ever-hungry maw, a face that could blot out the sun.

"Well," he growled, leaning his cheek on one giant hand. The Black Hole personified was so large he towered over her. The extra pair of arms only added to the intimidation factor — not that a being so powerful needed the help. "That went poorly. You hardly even used the powers I gifted you."

She winced, a nervous grin ghosting her lips. "I- I suppose I got caught up in the moment," she admitted sheepishly. "But I found him," she grinned. "That's good, right? …please? I need this?"

The Dark Lord let out a low sigh, dipping his head. "It's a fine start," he growled. "All that matters… is that I get my Wish."

#lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #magical girl au #pppidwbacg #ninjago au #ninjago fanfiction #brad tudabone #a taste of greenflower #harumi #a taste of llorumi (that's not canon tho)#i'm a little brainrotted for magical girls #based off of #pretty pretty please i don't want to be a magical girl #idwbamg #there's missing context but hopefully not too much

astro-nomaly