I posted something last night that I knew was going to be controversial, but I did it because of that and because I still believe it needs to be discussed. The post is very long, but you can read it here.
What I was talking about is how broad generalizations (using the example of "all men are trash") can get divorced from their context and amplified beyond their intended context and audience, and as a result, it can create a dynamic where people (here, men) can get bathed in constant group-level negative criticism online, feel upset and demotivated by it but know they can't say anything (because consciously they KNOW that those feelings don't compare to women's traumatic experiences with men), and this creates a well of pent of negative feeling that can be manipulated by people offering validation to those emotions.
All the discourse currently on that post surrounds whether or not those feelings are justified and how people (here, men) should know that those feelings don't compare to real oppression and just get over it.
Here's a part of the original post I want to highlight:
"My point in drawing attention to these dynamics is because we're seeing some of the consequences of them play out in real time. The constant feeling of being categorically hated, even if it's not associated with tangible oppression, combined with feeling like you can never express those feelings without negative backlash, creates a well of pent up emotion, that in turn, makes people feeling that way incredibly vulnerable to manipulation by people offering them validation."
In that post, I'm not saying men who feel that way are poor little babies who deserve all the world's sympathy and hand-holding. I'm acknowledging that those feelings exist, are somewhat common, and even if they're objectively and completely a "them-problem," it's still an "us-obstacle."
Ben Shapiro loves to say "Facts don't care about your feelings." Unfortunately, the reverse is frequently also true: People's feelings often don't care about facts.
It is a fact that some people feel that way. It doesn't matter if they "deserve to" or not because everyone experiences feelings involuntarily 100% of the time.
My issue is that people seem to take acknowledging the existence of emotional dynamics like that as automatic justification/validation of them. That's not my intent. I can empathize with and understand feelings that I may ultimately not feel are valid.
My whole thing is practical activism. I have acknowledged before (and even did in that post) that being angry at various groups and criticizing them as a group is a completely valid way to feel and behave. However, no matter how valid you might be in screaming at someone or taking a shot at a group that holds power, that may not be the most practical, effective way to get your point across.
One user well-stated that the reason that statements like that get people so fired up is because it feels like victim blaming. I get that. That's never my intent when talking about this. I have a whole other post about how it shouldn't be oppressed people's responsibility to constantly lay bare their experiences to bigots and argue civilly, and at the same time, some people cannot accept valid, true, and correct information presented to them in a hostile manner. This does not mean they are unsalvageable garbage human beings. It means they are emotionally immature. My point is that converting people to allies sometimes takes a lot of emotional labor and hand-holding that none of us should have to do. But getting caught up in the shoulds and shouldn'ts means potentially discounting people who could become allies.
Which brings me to another point I really want to make here. If there is an ideology/perspective you want to see go away - to be stamped out completely, practically, you mean "I want everyone who has this opinion to change their mind" or "I want everyone who thinks this way to stop existing."
The first I already kind of covered in this post (people don't just spontaneously do stuff without outreach or incentive - and here I'm talking about the most effective way to do that outreach).
If what you mean is the second, what you really mean is "I wish everyone who thinks like this were dead." Divorcing all moral considerations from that for a minute, what's the plan? How are you going to murder every person of a certain ideology then keep it from cropping up again? Practically, is it possible to stamp out an ideology that way? No.
Practically and effectively combatting bad ideologies/perspectives takes a lot of work that no one should have to do.
Additionally, another motivation I had in making the original post is to highlight to people who HAVE FELT or DO FEEL categorically hated and silenced, even if they haven't experienced real oppression, that bad actors can use that pent up negative feeling as a hook to manipulate you. Not everyone offering you validation for things you're afraid to admit outloud is a kind and sympathetic soul who wants to support you. That cathartic relief you might feel in hearing someone say something you've been thinking SHOULD NOT automatically equate to trust in them.
That is exactly what Trump has done to conservatives. Many of them have no real concept of what oppression feels like but perceive themselves to be oppressed by certain kinds of leftist rhetoric. They're objectively wrong, but that doesn't negate that they feel that way. Trump and Elon have swooped in to say stuff like "Hey, it's okay! The way you feel is valid! You don't have to feel ashamed for being white. Or Christian. Or conservative. We know the mean people online have been telling you you're bad and stupid. They're wrong, and you're right, and oh by the way, since we agree on that, I think you should also agree with me on [insert littany of disgusting policies that certain people are now primed to support because of that play towards validation]."
You can argue all day about what factors make people more susceptible to this manipulation or to deficits in empathy and (validly) feel deeply angry that people fall for the dynamic that I'm trying to illustrate, but it. Does. Not. Stop. It. From. Happening.
Pretending it doesn't exist or raving about how the factors that motivate it shouldn't exist won't stop it from very much existing and very much affecting your work in activism.
