#practicing gratefulness

[lazyrezi]

Everything I do is in service to my inner child. Not in an immature way either I just mean if I see something that my child self would have been OBSESSED with then i get it for myself with the money i make from doing my job which i would argue is very adult like. And if I am at a crossroad in my life I might be indecisive but I will know which way I am pulled because I know deep down inside what I want my life to look like. I might not have big goals like marriage, career or a family BUT what i do have is a very faint outline that guises me when i have to choose.

I want my life to be peaceful and cosy, and I want to live comfortably and have enough to be generous to others who have less. I want to do my little hobbies in my free time and read while drinking a cup of coffee and get excited whenever the air gets cooler around this time of year. I don't wanna become jaded or worn down. I don't want to devote my time to a job or a person I am not fully invested in. I want to be forgiving and hopeful. And you know what!! I am!!!

[lazyrezi]

It's raining! Pouring down even! And I am inside wrapped up in a warm blanket like the luckiest burrito!!

[lazyrezi]

Being grateful for what you have and holding people responsible for what they have taken from you can, AND should coexist, actually.

If we can acknowledge that random acts of kindness can change people's lives, then we should accept that this is also true for when someone is putting you down, mocking you, harassing you, or even worse. It's especially painful when it is precisely the people who are supposed to be lifting you up that put you down constantly.

[lazyrezi]

Cat in my lap, good music playing, life is so good to me right now.

[lazyrezi]

Today, I am grateful for;

[  ] Allergy tablets

[  ] Modern medicine for that matter

[  ] Blankets

[  ] Books!!

[  ] Stories written by people who were dead waaay before I was born

[  ] Trees

[  ] Benches

[  ] Benches AROUND trees

[  ] The wind

[  ] Accepting people as they are

[  ] Music

[  ] Musicals!!

[  ] Good company

[  ] Pastries

[  ] The construction workers next to me having a day off

[lazyrezi]

Here are a few things I am immensely grateful for;

[  ] Living with my sister and no one else, and that we get to make our own space the way we like it

[  ] The cats

[  ] My relationship with mother, and how far we have come, and that she never made me feel worthless for not reaching certain milestones like marriage or kids or a big job

[  ] Not having a big job with big responsibilities, I think I could not handle it, and it wouldn't make me happy

[  ] Having decent work/life balance

[  ] Books

[  ] Having long conversations

[  ] My bed

[  ] I can listen to music on the way to work

[  ] I can look at the moon, and stars on the way to work

[  ] My daydreams

[  ] Not being so scared to talk to people anymore

[  ] For that matter not having an anxiety induced illness control my life (and bladder) the way I thought it would when I was younger

[  ] Liking myself

[  ] Liking other people with all their quirks

[  ] Feeling content

[  ] As well as feeling any other emotion that one can including the bad ones like anger or sadness

[  ] Not having dad in my life

[  ] Having some security in terms of money, and stability in terms of having a job

[  ] Having time to ponder about what I am grateful for

[  ] Having things, and people to be grateful for

[  ] Silence but the kind where you can still hear people outside, and birds, and cars in the distance

[  ] Rain just rain

[  ] My stuff as in my wardrobe, and room decor just having things that make me happy

[  ] Food and more specifically my relationship with food

[  ] My brain, for all its' faults, is at least a nice place to be most of the time, it doesn't overthink things, and it gives me, and other people the benefit of doubt

[  ] My hope

[  ] My body, and that it doesn't hurt to be in it

[  ] Having a good nights' sleep every night

[  ] That I get to rest

[  ] Men's clothing

[  ] Fake plants since I could not take care of live ones, but I like the way they look

[  ] Being myself

[  ] Taking my time

[  ] My health

[  ] Mornings

[lazyrezi]

I love quiet mornings, parallel play, having a cup of coffee while reading, taking naps, open windows, cats, taking care of others emotionally, being dependable, being on my own, listening, walking with headphones on, buying second hand books and finding notes tucked between the pages from previous owners. I love love the little things in life the small wonders. I think they make up the big picture of life like a million puzzle pieces and if i have many many small really good moments every day for the rest of my life I think it will shape up to be something wonderful regardless of milestones or whatever success is.

[lazyrezi]

My favourite thing about working nights is definitely the walk there. Now it's getting dark so soon, but in the summer, I could see the sunset every time on my way to work, listening to music for an hour, and thinking thoughts. Good time for contemplation