#prb2018

[paradisobound]

(1) New Text

Summary: Dan is a very lonely person and for the past few years Dan has received a text message simply saying 'merry christmas' until one year a present shows up in front of his doorstep.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: It looks like Phil is stalking Dan but I promise he’s not. 

Genre: Fluff and slight Angst with a happy ending 

Written for the @phandomreversebang! This was originally supposed to go with art made by @rwdaf but Alex had to leave so I decided to continue the fic anyway and finish it! Also thanks to my lovely beta Melissa @loyal-phan! You did the last little touches that helped a lot! 

2011

It’s been a tough year. Dan says to himself as he pours some leftover wine into a glass and then puts the bottle away in the cupboard. Christmas was always stressful for him and this year wasn’t any other exception. It was another year of being alone. Another year of feeling lost and like his future wasn’t going anywhere anymore. It was another year of rejections from jobs and working at the local bookstore just to pay rent, living paycheck to paycheck.

But as he tossed back the rest of his wine, he let out a loud sigh and clanked the empty glass onto his counter. There was always the promise of new year. In the next two weeks, it would be 2012 and maybe 2012 would finally be his year.

He just wished the universe would give him a break every once and awhile. He hasn’t felt like he’s gotten a break since he dropped out of law school the year before. His parents had warned him about this; about how he wasn’t mature enough to possibly drop out of Uni and move to London. But he did it anyway.

Now though, he feels like maybe they were correct. What was a nineteen year old supposed to do in London if they weren’t going to Uni or they weren’t already affluent? Maybe it was a dumb idea. But if he went back to Wokingham, it’d be like he admitted defeat with his tail between his legs.

He didn’t want that. He didn’t want his parents to know they were correct and he couldn’t possibly do this.

He dropped the glass into his sink along with the other dishes that were settled there and turned the faucet on, washing out the strong scent. He then flicked off the light over top of his sink and walked back into the living room to the sight of a tiny tree in the corner and a beat up couch with an old TV thrown on the floor on top of a cardboard box.

He should be ashamed of his lack of possessions. He should be embarrassed at the fact that his TV was sitting on a broken box and his couch had more tears than fabric. But he can’t bother to be. He’d buy more furniture if he could.

He grabs his remote,  turns on the TV, and the BBC is talking all about Christmas and he begins to feel a little bit sick. He’d love to go home and spend the holidays with his parents so he wasn’t alone but his parents decided to go to India for Christmas and his work didn’t allow him the time off.

He turns the TV back off and settles into the corner of his couch, letting his body fit into its normal mould. He fishes for his phone out of one of the creases on his sofa and holds it in his hand. He unlocks it and sighs when he notices that no one has sent him any messages yet.

Dan had to admit that that stung.

None of his family had said anything to him and now, it was nearly midnight on Christmas Eve and he knew he was going to wake up tomorrow to the same disappointment.

Not having anything to look forward to, he slowly gets up from his sofa and heads down the short hallway to his bathroom. He quickly strips his clothes and takes a quick shower to try and sober his thoughts from the wine.

When he steps out, he wraps his torso in a towel and heads to his room, picking up a pair of old pyjama pants on the floor and hiking them up his legs. He throws his towel in a heap with the other laundry that he doesn’t have the time to do and then fishes for a shirt.

He eventually ends up on his mattress on the floor, the one that he can’t afford a bed frame for, and yanks his sheets up over him to combat the chill that’ll seep across his room when his heat turns off sometime in the night to conserve it.

When he falls asleep, he tries to ignore that tomorrow is Christmas and instead thinks about the bar he might go to tomorrow night to forget about everything along with all of the other sad and lonely people in London.

He dreams of nothing and when he wakes up, he feels nothing. He finds himself struggling to get out of his bed but the chill in the air is hovering over his skin, begging him to get up and get a warm coffee.

Dan eventually makes his way to the bathroom and then to the kitchen where he begins to pour some instant coffee into a mug, followed by some hot water. He stirs and watches the water turn brown and when he brings the drink to his lips, he nearly gags at the putrid taste. But it’s all he can afford so he stomachs it down and tries to pretend that it’s giving him a caffeine buzz and a liquid warmth.

He takes his mug with him into the living room and he tries to act surprised when he sees the bare tree thrown in the corner with no presents underneath. He doesn’t know why he still expects to find some magical gifts left for him but Santa isn’t real and no one is going to come into his apartment and deliver any to him.

He finds himself walking over to his sofa and plopping down, sitting on something hard underneath his butt. He shuffles and reaches under himself to pull out his cell phone that he had just sat on. As he goes to set it down, he notices that when the screen flashed on, he had a text message.

Dan hadn’t been expecting any text messages today.

He looked it over and a feeling of warmth spread over his chest.

It was from a number he didn’t recognize. He wasn’t even sure how someone would have gotten his number, but the message was enough for him. All it read was Merry Christmas with a copy and pasted Christmas tree but it made Dan smile stupidly big.

So maybe his family wouldn’t wish him a Merry Christmas, but this strange number had and that was something.

2012

Christmas Eve finds Dan out with friends in the town centre, enjoying a few drinks at the local pub. It’s the first year that he’s had friends to spend Christmas Eve with and to Dan, it was nice.

But as he takes a sip of a raspberry beer and looks outside to the soft blowing snowflakes under the lamplight, he almost wishes he was back at his flat. For one, it was slightly cold in the pub and the alcohol hasn’t worked in his system yet. Two, his friends weren’t too keen on doing anything besides get shit-faced and Dan wasn’t looking into actually getting drunk.

He more or less just wanted to get his mind off from the fact that he, once more, didn’t have the availability to go home for Christmas so he was alone all over again for another year. If it wasn’t for his friends—which now he think that term is used very lightly—inviting him out after work, he would still be alone in his flat.

“Got a lot on your mind?”

Dan looked up from his beer at his co-worker Jessie. She was a nice person. Always smiling but not so happy that she’s unbearable to be around. She was a nice balance. He enjoyed working with her at the restaurant.

He shrugged. “Normal thoughts, really.”

She nodded. “Same.” Her lips smacked and then she raised her own glass to her lips.

He watched her slowly move a strand of dark hair and tuck it behind her ear before she pursed her lips and rose her glass back to them. Dan had to admit that Jessie was quite pretty. Maybe even beautiful.

Wait, he shouldn’t be thinking about Jessie like this. He was lonely. It was Christmas Eve. This was stupid and he was thinking recklessly. Isn’t there also a rule that you shouldn’t do anything with a coworker?

He shook his head.

These were stupid thoughts.

He continued to mindlessly chat to Jessie across the pub table until the bar announced they were doing one last round. Eventually, he found himself leaving with her, both of them dizzy but not intoxicated.

They shared a taxi—just to split the cost— but Jessie still ended up in his flat that night, sharing a bed with him in more ways than one. He rang in Christmas with him and Jessie tangled between scratchy cotton sheets.

When he woke up the next morning, she was gone. But he knew that would happen. As awkward as it was, it was going to be even more awkward when he has to see her at work the next day. But he wasn’t in the correct mindset to deal with that today.

He grabbed his phone, fully aware to have an array of mixed texts that would range from his mum wishing him a Merry Christmas to his brother asking when he was coming home.

But instead, he had a message from an unknown number. It read Merry Christmas. Have a good year :) and Dan was confused. He didn’t know where it came from or who it was. But then he saw the message with the Christmas tree from last year.

The same person had sent him a message again this year...should he be creeped out? Probably. But is he? No. Because the fact that this person cared enough to text him again made him happy.

He responded back, just saying Merry Christmas.

He won’t get a message back but he doesn’t care.

2014  

This is the first year that Dan has a real Christmas tree in his flat. Maybe because this is also the first time that he’s not alone in nearly three years. This year, he gets to share Christmas with his boyfriend Carter.

It was Carter’s idea to get a tree. Dan was so used to not having one that he didn’t even notice that much of a difference whether or not they have one, but Carter insisted and Dan has to admit that it does fill the empty corner of his flat.

It feels good, different, but good, to finally not be alone on a Christmas Eve in London. He was so used to the feeling that when Carter insisted on them staying at their flat for Christmas, he very nearly declined. But now that he’s here, sitting in front of the fireplace that is now being lit, snuggled on Carter’s chest, he’s glad for their decision.

They’d already exchanged their gifts: Carter gave Dan a nice candle set that he had been wanting and in return, he gave Carter the new Armani sweater he couldn’t afford himself.

And now it’s just them. Dan has to admit that it feels good to not be alone on Christmas for once.

The sound of the doorbell ringing from inside the flat draws Dan from his haze. He slowly moves up from his position on Carter’s chest and looks towards the door. “Did you invite someone over?” Dan asks, standing up to walk to the door.

Carter shook his head. “I mentioned to my friends that we were just having a lay in tonight but I doubt any of them would come here.”

Dan nodded slowly. He had mentioned to his coworkers that he wasn’t going anywhere for Christmas but he seriously doubted them being here as well. The only possible answer was maybe his neighbor or something but he wasn’t sure.

He looked through the peephole in his door and peered into the hallway but no one was there. He was going to shrug it off as a prank or he took too long to answer the door so whoever was there assumed he wasn't home, until he happened to notice a wrapped box.

He opened the door slowly and looked down, seeing the messily wrapped gift sitting on his welcome mat. He bent down and picked it up, looking it over. The tag on the bow said hope you like your gift! Merry Christmas, Dan xxx

“Dan, who was at the door?” Carter called from the living room.

“Oh,” Dan turned around and shut the door, walking back to the living room with the gift in hand. “Someone just dropped this off.”

Carter put his hand out as if he wanted Dan to hand it to him so Dan passed the gift to him. He looked it over and then read the tag, “Was this from one of your parents?”

Dan shrugged. “I’m not sure. I can call them tonight, but I don’t think they would have left me a gift. That’s strange.”

“Are you gonna open it?” Carter asked. “This looks slightly suspicious.”

“It might have been a neighbor or something.” Dan countered. “I do have an elderly neighbor down the hall so it might be her.”

Carter handed him back the gift and Dan slowly began to take it apart, ripping the already messy wrapping. He slowly opened the box and came face to face with a brand new Studio Ghibli film, still wrapped in plastic, inside the box with a small note. He pulls it out and finds himself unable to stop smiling.

He was a nerd for Studio Ghibli films and this new version of My Neighbor Totoro was just amazing. But Dan still had no idea who it was from. So he slowly opened the note, despite Carter still staring at him.

Hey Dan! I hope you don’t find this weird but I remember you saying that you enjoyed Studio Ghibli films. I meant to give you this earlier but I chickened out. I hope you don’t find this creepy, or weird. I don’t mean it to be. I just want to be able to give you a gift that I think you’d like. Hope you don’t already have this one! It sounded like you had many already xxx

“Who was it from?” Carter asked, peering his green eyes over the top of the paper to see what was written.

“I think I have a secret admirer.” Dan says with an incredulous laugh. “This person literally knows who I am but I have no clue who they might be.”

Carter’s eyebrows furrowed and his blonde locks fell down his forehead. “Dan, that’s really creepy. This person could be a stalker.”

Dan quickly shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just someone that wants to be my friend.”

“That’s pretty much the definition of a stalker.” Carter presses.

Dan rolls his eyes. “It’s fine, Carter.” He leans over and presses a kiss to Carter’s cheek. “I promise.”

Carter gives him a look of I don’t believe you but I trust you and the conversation ends. Dan takes the gift to his bedroom and places the note in his bedside drawer along with other miscellaneous items.

That night, after he and Carter got ready for bed, he hears his cell phone vibrate next to him and he slowly picks it up to see a familiar message from a familiar unknown number.

Hope you liked your gift and it didn’t come across as weird. That’s the last thing I want. I hope you have a great Christmas Dan!

Dan falls asleep with a smile on his face. He might not know where he will be in one year, but he does know that this same number will be here for him.

2015

“Doing anything fun for Christmas this year?”

Dan looked up at his longtime co worker Phil and shook his head. He didn’t have any plans because he was back to his lonely self again for Christmas this year after the unexpected break up with Carter that September. He kind of figured that he’d be alone again come Christmas time. Carter had acted pretty strangely following the gift that Dan had gotten at Christmas.

“No,” Dan answers truthfully. “I’m probably just gonna sit home and have a few drinks and then go to bed at nine.”

Phil laughs in the most unique way, with his tongue poking out between his teeth. Over the last four years that he has worked with Phil, they haven't even talked to each other that much. Just little hit or miss convos if they walked by each other while on the floor. But ever since Dan got promoted to senior bartender and Phil became a manager at the restaurant, they saw each other a little bit more and more each time they worked.

He’s grown used to Phil. His charismatic charm and his childlike presence was refreshing in this place that caused them both hell on a daily basis. He liked when Phil would waltz over to the bar and take a seat to talk before the restaurant even opened to the public.

“Literally me.” Phil said with a laugh. “I’m probably gonna watch rom-coms with my dog Buffy and then pass out for the night.”

Dan stopped what he was doing—which was just staking the glasses under the bar—and looked up at Phil. “You have a dog named Buffy?”

Phil nodded with a smile. “Named her after my favorite person in the world!”

“And who might that be?”

“Buffy Summers of course!” Phil answered, turning on the stool to sit at the bar. “The only good vampire slayer to ever exist.”

Dan smiled at him. “You were a Buffy nerd?”

Phil nodded, his mouth curling up into a massive smile. “I still am and I’m proud of it.”

“That’s amazing.” Dan answered. “I’ve never even seen that show before.”

Phil looked actually offended at him. “You’ve never seen Buffy?!”

Dan shook his head. “Before my time, mate.”

“How old are you?”

“24.”

“Ahh.” Phil said, smiling at him. “You’re just a baby.”

Dan scoffed. “Says Grandpa over here.”

Phil laughed. “I’m 28.”

“Still old.”

The conversation stalled for a moment so Dan went back to stacking his glasses again. But Phil started speaking once more. “So you really have no plans for Christmas? A bit sad, don’t you think?”

Dan let out a sigh. “I mean, yes and no.” He says. “I’m mostly always alone on Christmas so that doesn’t really bother me anymore, but each year since I moved to London and began working here, I’ve been getting this text from an unknown number that tells me Merry Christmas. Last year, this number got me a gift and left it on my doorstep.”

When he looked up from the glasses, Phil wasn’t looking at him. His attention was diverted to the a small speck of dust on the counter. He picked at it with his fingernail and didn’t say anything for a moment. “Do you know who the unknown number is?”

Dan shook his head. “Wouldn’t be an unknown number if I did.” He said. “I don’t know. I’m not creeped out by it in the least. I think it’s rather endearing that someone is sending me a message every year. But I’d like to know who it is.”

“Did you text the number back?”

“One year I did.” Dan says. “But they never replied.”

“Maybe you should try to text them again.” Phil says, finally looking up. “I’m sure they mean no harm.”

Dan nods, but notes the odd behavior that Phil suddenly began to show. The wheels in his head turn but he doesn’t make heads or tails of it in that moment.

Later that evening, after Dan has been home from work for a while, he texts the unknown number.

Dan: Hey, this is Dan. You text my number every year for Christmas and I’m curious to find out who you are.

When two hours went by and nothing had been texted back, Dan gave up and threw his phone across the bed. Maybe Carter was right…maybe this was creepy.

***

Christmas Eve came and went with nothing from the number. It left a slight pit in Dan’s chest. He got so used to receiving these messages that to not get them anymore was slightly sad.

It was stupid to get attached to an unknown entity but he had anyway. And now it’s Christmas and he’s sitting alone, with a dead tree in the corner undecorated, and nothing to even open.

He’s about to sleep his day away, not even waste his breath, when his phone vibrates.

You said you wanted to know who I am...so come open your door.

Dan felt goosebumps flow up his spine. He could run and not open the door. Or he could call the police. Or this person could be harmless.

He hoped it was the later because he was already up and walking to the door out of curiosity. He made it to the door and looked out the peephole, but he couldn’t make out who was standing there.

He undid his locks and then grabbed the handle and twisted, letting the door come open with a swing.

Standing on his doorstep was Phil. The same Phil who was his co worker. The one he had just started getting to know…

”Surprise?” Phil asked, his hands in his pockets. “I feel like this is weird so I can leave.”

Dan shook his head and stopped him. “No! No! Please, don’t go. I just...I have some questions?”

Phil let out a sad sign. “Well, Dan. I can probably answer them all right now.”

“Well, come in at least.” Dan insisted, moving out of the way.

Phil slowly walked inside of his apartment and dragged his feet. When they got far enough inside, Dan shut the door and ushered for Phil to come to his kitchen to sit down. So they walked there and both took a seat.

Phil takes a deep breath and Dan sees his eyes fall to his hands in his lap.

“Ever since you walked into the restaurant for your first day of work, I’ve had a crush on you. But here you were, this beautiful brown eyed man and I was just this lanky emo boy who had no business liking you. I was too scared to ever say anything to you. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” Phil stopped. “So I asked around and got your number and that’s when I sent you the first text.”

Dan sucked in a breath, watching the raven haired male continue to speak, pushing his glasses back against his nose before he ran his hand through his quiff. “I never was going to give you a present. But I really really wanted to after talking to you briefly about Studio Ghibli. So I got your address from Jessie and came here. I was gonna wait and give you the gift myself when I came to your door but I realized how god awful it looked and I ditched.”

“Phil,” Dan says carefully. “I would have loved for you to give me my gift in person. I was so happy to get it, you have no idea. For the past four years, your messages were what got me through the holidays. I loved knowing I was gonna get a message from you...I just wish you came forward sooner.” Dan says with a laugh. “You’ve been pining over me for four years now, that’s too long.”

Phil lets out a watery sigh. “I feel like this is stupid because I probably look creepy now and I’ve ruined any friendship we may have and…”

Dan let his hand reach out and steady Phil’s that was shaking at his side. “I loved what you did, Phil. There is nothing creepy about it...well, maybe on paper it is but to me it was so endearing.”

Phil looked slowly up at him. “It was?”

Dan nodded. “I’ve never been so miserable as I have been every holiday since I moved here. If you’d have come forward sooner, I might have been less lonely on Christmas.”

“What do you mean?” Phil asks, his voice soft and quiet.

“Phil,” Dan begins. “Do you wanna go out to coffee with me sometime this week?”

2016

Just like almost every other year since 2011, it comes as no surprise that Dan is once again alone on Christmas. But this year, it’s different.

Dan’s not alone because he has no one to spend Christmas with, in fact, it’s the exact opposite. He has a loving boyfriend now, and many more friends. And he even spent Christmas Eve with some of his co workers who were doing fun Christmas parties.

This year was different because Phil had to go home for Christmas to the Isle of Man, so Dan was alone because of that. Not because he had no one to be there for him anymore. He had Phil, who very nearly almost didn’t go home so he could spend the holidays with Dan.

But it’s been a year since they’ve began to date, and Dan doesn’t want to intrude on the family Christmases yet. So he told Phil to go and he’d stay back this year and look over the flat.

It feels good though, to know that when he’ll eventually get sad and begin to miss Phil a lot, that he can just text Phil and ask him to Skype. It also feels good to know now, that he won’t be alone anymore for Christmas.

He’s in it for the long haul with Phil by his side.

On Christmas morning, he checks his phone and smiles.

He has a message from that familiar unknown number, except it’s not unknown anymore. It’s contact now says Phil <3 and he knows that each year, he’ll forever be getting that message wishing him a Merry Christmas.

But now it reads “Merry Christmas, love! Hope you have a good day! I’ll be home tomorrow afternoon but I love and miss you lots. Skype later?” instead.

[yourstarless-eyes]

Art for the @phandomreversebang!! Fic links coming soon

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Wattpad  AO3   ART 

The air around him smelled of freshly baked pastries, coffee and rain. The café was nearly empty, as it was nearing tea time, in the middle of summer holidays. Apart from Phil, there was a family of four sat around a round table at the other side of the café.

The rain was falling down, steady but forceful. It streamed along the old London streets and pooled where the pavement was no longer at level. Phil sighed whilst staring out the window, putting off leaving the comfort of the café.

He started towards the toilets, drawing out the time a little more by using the loo. He was hoping that by the time he got back it would’ve stopped raining. As much as one could hope, it was still London and it rained so often and it was unlikely for it to stop in five minutes.

As he made his way to the back of the café, he heard a small uproar at the table of the family. He ignored it in favour of respecting their privacy.

When he returned, the family was gone. Lydia, owner of the café and a close friend of Phil’s, was already placing the chairs on the tables.

“Hey Phil, thought I saw your umbrella in the umbrella stand. You should’ve seen that family leave. The father nearly threw the money at me, the son was outside in tears before the rest of the family had even stood up. The daughter was just looking at the floor.”

Phil snickered. Lydia had the habit of telling him about strange situations at the café.

“What story did you think of for them?”

Another habit of Lydia’s was to make up stories about the strange situations, which would often take a turn for the magical, taking the shape of myths about dragons, even beyond Phil’s imagination.

“Dad forgot he had cookies in the oven. The mom had a bad client at work. The son has lost his fairy wings and the daughter is still learning how to breathe fire.” Lydia was wiping the counters, her face straight and her voice level.

Phil shook his head and took his umbrella from the umbrella stand.

“How do you still have a business in baked goods? You would do great as a writer. See you tomorrow!” He opened the door to the café, sighing at the rain still pouring down.

As he closed the door, he heard Lydia call out, “Bye!”

Stood under the protection of the overhang, Phil opened his umbrella. The noise of the rain seemed to drown out the entire world. Just as Phil turned to walk down the street, he noticed someone sitting under the hangover, on the pavement, huddled against the building.

It was the boy from the café. Now that Phil got a closer look at him, however, he realised that this man was around his own age. He was curled into a ball, his shoulders seemed to be shaking slightly. His face was turned away from Phil but his hands were in his hair, tugging at it.

“Sir are you okay?” Phil approached the huddled figure, “No, of course you aren’t. Stupid of me to ask. Do you need help?”

The man looked up. Tearstained blotchy cheeks and red-rimmed brown eyes stared up at Phil.

“C-could you help me up. I can’t really feel my legs.” The man’s voice was quiet, nearly drowned out in the rain. He held out his hand for Phil to latch on to. Just as Phil was about to do just that, he noticed how the other’s hands were shaking. He clasped their hands together and pulled it towards himself.

The man came up willingly, and even though when he stood at full height he was taller than Phil, he was light and easily pulled up for someone who didn’t really work out.

When he stood on both his legs, they seemed to shake for a moment. Phil reached out his arm and wrapped it around the man’s waist for support.

“I’m Phil.” He said. He felt the strange urge to protect this man, who had been sitting so lonely on the pavement.

“I’m Dan, nice to meet you. I’m sorry to inconvenience you.” Dan tried to push himself away from Phil’s supporting arm, but the latter only tightened his hold, just enough to stop Dan from moving away.

“You know, I love the rain, but hate how wet it makes me. I wish I could just look at the rain through a glass bubble,” Phil rambled.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be?” Phil asked, mildly concerned about this handsome stranger.

Dan shook his head softly. He kept his eyes slightly downcast, never quite looking Phil directly in the eye.

“Do you want to walk with me for a bit?” Phil offered. Dan nodded his head and let himself be led down the street.

He looked at the rain as they walked down the streets of London, moving away from the City towards the suburbs.

“You know that’s what windows are for, right.” Dan had dried his tears and was looking up at Phil, smiling with an amused glint in his eyes. His eyes still looked a little watery, and red, but they seemed to have regained a certain spark that wasn’t there minutes before. “Looking outside without having to partake in it.”

They crossed the road, narrowly avoiding a car that ran a red light, but not without Dan loudly swearing at the driver.

“You’re not taking me away to kill me, right?” he asked suspiciously, moving closer to Phil to avoid a large puddle. Only, instead of just gracefully sliding aside, he stumbled over his feet and tripped into the other. His chest collided painfully with Phil’s boney shoulder.

“Ouch!” Dan hissed, rubbing his sternum, more out of shock than out of pain. It seemed that he always got himself into awkward situations.

“Oh, sorry. Are you okay?” Phil’s hand shot up, only to retract hesitantly as to not touch a near stranger.

“Yeah I’m fine. Where are we going?” Dan was curious as to where Phil was leading him.

“Well I’m cold and you’ve been shivering the whole time. If you don’t mind, We’re on our way to my apartment.

As he looked sideways at Dan, he came to a halt in front of his apartment complex. He fumbled for his keys, his wet skinny jeans sticking to his legs.

The lock sprung open and a warm rush of air fell over the two men. “God, this is what I needed!”  

---

“Make yourself at home,”Phil said, directing Dan’s attention to the comfortable-looking sofa in the living space. “I’ll find you something dry to wear.”

Dan looked around the apartment. The walls were decorated with paintings and posters, each one nerdier than the last. This man seemed to be the perfect combination of good-looking and kind. He was handsome, with a frame that was perfectly proportioned. His black hair contrasted perfectly with his pale skin.

“So I could only find my superman pyjamas and my emoji pyjamas. No judging, they’re very soft. And clean.”

Dan laughed as the offensively yellow trousers were thrown towards his head. He accepted the tea Phil handed him and took a tentative sip to test the sweetness.

“Perfect.” He couldn’t help but sigh, feeling warmth seep back into his body.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why were you crying earlier? You don’t have to answer.” Phil was looking at him over the glasses he’d put on and… fuck. Dan was definitely fucked.

“No it’s okay. It was shock more than the actual event. I was in the café with my parents and brother. They were visiting for the weekend. And I thought it was finally time to come out to them.” Dan sighed and took another sip of tea. “I really don’t know what I was expecting. My dad has been openly homophobic as long as I can remember, and my mom comes from a conservative religious family. I knew their reaction wasn’t going to be positive. I guess I feel worse because of my brother Alex. He just wants to start transitioning, but our parents would never allow it. He’s almost done with high school and he’s going to move out here as soon as possible. He hates that our parents call him Alexandra and that his school doesn’t recognise his preferred pronouns.”

For a while silence hung in the room. Dan sipped his tea and Phil looked at the man sitting on his couch. Phil nodded, encouraging Dan to continue.

“I guess something I’m more worried about is how I’m going to help him. I’m 26, and still in university. How can I help him find a place?”

Dan looked at his phone, which he had placed on the table. The time it showed was 11:33 PM.

“Shit, I’m sorry for bothering you. Thank you for the tea and the pajama bottoms,” Dan said as jumped up from his place on the couch. He didn’t really wanting to leave, but he felt like he had overstayed his welcome.

“Wait! I want to give you my number. That way I can return your jeans once they’re dry and you can give me back my pajamas. You can text me whenever. I’ll help you out. Or just talk to you.”

Phil put his phone number into Dan’s phone, before handing it back to him, secretly feeling grateful that he had managed not to drop it.

“What’s your last name?”Dan asked. “I have a Phil form uni in my phone and I don’t want to confuse you two.” Dan didn’t know why he felt so drawn to this guy, who he had met whilst crying in the rain. He was putting a lot of trust in a stranger.

“Oh, I never told you. It’s Lester, spelled L-E-S-T-E-R.”

The brunet hummed to himself. Funny, he thought he’d heard that name before. He shrugged it off, in favour of following Phil to the door.

“I hope to talk to you soon Dan. Goodnight, sleep tight.” Dan waved as this gorgeous man closed the doors, seeing the glimpses of a smile through the last crack of the door.

----

03.46 Am Unknown number

Now i know where i’ve heard your name before. You’re a radio presenter for BBC Radio 1.

08.36 Am Phil Lester

You caught me! Radio presenter by day, taking care of cute guys at night!

Oops that came out wrong!

I meant cute boys like you. Giving them some tea.

‘Smooth as always, Phil,’ Phil thought to himself. He sat his phone down on the counter in favour of picking up his mug of coffee. After looking at his phone for a few more minutes he left to go to work.

---

He was supposed to be coming up with ideas for the next big show he was going to do, but he was getting distracted by Dan sending him pictures of dogs and memes throughout the day. Around 1:00pm, just as he was going on lunch break, an idea hit him like a ton of bricks.

He rushed back to his computer, frantically typing up the idea in a text document, before sprinting off to the lunchroom before the pizza was gone.

Cheer for all those who are queer!

‘Being LGBT+ isn’t always easy. You’re always going to have to fight against the people that won’t accept you for who you are. What can we do to help make it a little easier and no longer taboo?’

The description blinked back at Phil from the front page of the BBC Radio 1 website. His boss had approved the idea instantly, and told him to gather some people he wanted with him on stage. On his quest he’d ended up on YouTube, looking for some of the most significant British LGBT+ YouTubers. He’d gathered a short list, and even got Tyler Oakley to fly out, who was more than happy to help Phil present.

There were just two people left on his list who he had to ask if they wanted to be there.

----

Dan burst out laughing as Phil fell off the track again. “Honestly, Phil, how can you be so bad at Mario Kart?”

Phil pouted at Dan as he crossed the finish line. “You’re just too good at this game. I demand you play blindfolded next round.” He giggled as Dan pumped his arm in victory, as if it was such an unexpected outcome.

“Kinky,” Dan muttered, “didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Phil giggled with pink cheeks. “You do that, bossy.”

This had been happening since they met. The playful comments and actions, borderline flirting, or even downright flirting. Little touches that sent sparks flying, comment that could only be interpreted in so many ways, and most of them not platonic.

Dan’s phone dinged with Alex’s special ringtone. He picked up his phone from the couch, eyes skimming over the message .

“Alex asks if he can come by this weekend to check out some housing options. Would you be okay with that?” Dan looked up hesitantly. They’d planned to go to Infinity War on Saturday, and he hated having to blow off Phil.

“Dan, of course that’s okay. When are his exams over again? He can come down as soon as his last exam is over, and stay as long as he wants. I like him.”

Dan texted his brother that it was fine, before dropping his phone back on his lap. He worried his lip between his teeth. “Phil,” he said.

“Hmm, what?” Phil hummed staring at the Television in concentration. His tongue was poking out slightly, and his eyes glinted with glee as he watched the Mario Kart characters race across the screen. (Dan had no idea how he missed Phil putting on a game of Mario Kart.)

“Earth to Dan? You look a little off. Are you feeling alright?” Phil’s blue eyes were focused on Dan and fuck, couldn’t he stop being so perfect for just one second. His face was so close.

“Oh, just wanted to ask if it’s really fine. I know you really wanted to see Infinity War this weekend.”

Phil’s face lit up as he smiled, oh so reassuring. “Dan, I want to see Infinity War, yes. But, I also want to you to help your brother,” he said softly. “I did want to ask, when Alex is done with school is he moving out here before his graduation ceremony?”

A giggle fell from Dan’s lips, unexpected and high-pitched. “Yes he is, just wants go back for graduation and then leave Wokingham behind. Why do you ask?” he looked into those blue eyes with a curious look on his face.

“No reason, just asking.”

After this admittedly strange exchange, they both returned their attention back to Free! where Haruka was about to dive into the pool.

---

“Do you see Alex? What am I saying, you haven’t met him, how would you know what he looks like. God, I hope he didn’t miss the train. What if he got stuck somewhere halfway...” Dan was rambling, so obviously nervous for nothing. He was running his hands through his hair, tugging on it to.

“Dan, calm down. Alex texted you ten minutes ago that he was almost here. The train hasn’t been announced yet. He’ll be fine. He’s a smart guy. Just take a breath.” Phil gently pulled Dan’s hands away from his head.

To anyone else on the station, they looked like a couple. Standing close, in their own bubble. Reading into each other, and responding perfectly. Alex observed them from a little ways away. Dan’s brother seemed so happy, for the first time in a long time. Alex didn’t want their bubble to burst, but it was pretty busy on the platform and he was in the way.

“Dan! Over here!” he waved his arms in the air, for emphasis. Dan looked up in shock, a blush rising on his cheeks. He smiled wildly when he met Alex’ eyes. He sprinted to him, and hugged him to his chest. Their difference in height was almost comical. Dan stood at 1.91 meters and Alex stood at a mere 1.55 meters.

Phil approached slowly, giving the two brothers some time alone. The scene was a sight to see, two people so similar in appearance standing in the middle of the station. This morning when they’d left for the station, Phil had brought his camera, for no particular reason. Now it seemed more than just a whim or coincidence.

He took the camera and zoomed in slightly, focussing on the two brothers embracing in the crowd. He made a mental note to edit the picture to make the people surrounding them blur.

“Did you just take a picture of us?” Dan looked at him, having just released his brother. He was grinning at Phil, an arm still slung over his brother’s shoulder.

“Alex, meet Phil, who takes pictures of people instead of properly greeting them. Phil, this is Alex, who you’ve already scared off.”

Alex grinned, and held out his hand for Phil to shake. “Don’t worry, I lived with Dan when he was in his emo phase. Nothing can scare me anymore. Except maybe when he made his first skirt, and it ripped whilst we were visiting our grandma. He was just standing there, in his undies, completely mortified. Best day of my life!”

Dan was blushing furiously now, and hit Alex in the arm repeatedly. He attempted to say ‘shut up’ over the other two’s laughter. Eventually giggles started escaping from his mouth too.

“Come on, we have a lot to do today.” Phil lifted the bags and started towards the exit of the station.

---

“So, Daniel, when where you going to tell me you found a man? Thought I raised you better than this.” Alex grinned devilishly. He dodged the half-arsed punch his brother threw at his shoulder. He turned left to the apartment they were viewing.

“Shut up! He is not my man. As much as I want to...” Dan was interrupted by his brother’s scream. He turned in concern, only to see his brother staring at him with a look of utter joy.

“You like him! Oh I am going to have the greatest time here!” Alex stopped when they reached the right address. The apartment complex was rundown, trash was resting against the wall.

“Alex, I don’t think you’ll want to live here. The wall over there says ‘Queers must Die!’. This is not the right place for you.” Dan stirred them around and away from the building. Looking around the neighbourhood, it seemed like those type of exclaims were all over the buildings.

“Well, then I have nowhere to go. This is the only thing I can afford near campus. Dan, what am I going to do?” Alex looked a little panicked. His breathing picked up in speed, and his legs grew a little weak. “I can’t go back to mum and dad. They want a daughter, I’m not their daughter. I don’t want to be seen as their daughter.” His hands were in his hair, tugging on the strands that came out from under his beanie.

“Alex, breathe. It’s going to be okay. We’ll find a way. You will never have to feel like that again. Come on, we’re going to Phil’s and relaxing for the rest of the night.” Dan led him to the nearest tube station, rubbing his back soothingly. Alex had been having panic attacks since he was in his early teens. Dan came to know that it was mostly induced by his dysphoria.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, sending a text to Phil that they were on their way. He didn’t know why, but he felt he needed to go to Phil’s house, not his own home. He’d been spending so much time there, it almost felt like a second home.

Phil

Is everything okay? Thought you were going to be out till late checking out houses. 1.36 PM

Phil, always so considerate, always so wonderful. Dan really was fucked.

Phil

Text me when you’re near. I’ll get the snacks and movie set up. 1.38 PM

Dan

About five minutes away. Thank you. 1.41 PM

---

They were settled on the couch, all eyes on the television. Occasionally the crackling of a crisps bag sounded, or the crunching of crisps sounded in the room.

The peace was disrupted by Dan’s phone ringing. He picked up the call. After a rushed conversation, Dan stood up rapidly. He looked a little frantic. “That was one of my classmates. I share a workspace with him at Ravensbourne. Someone spilled coke over my final project. I have to go see if I can save it, otherwise I’m fucked.”

He was out of the flat in minutes, mumbling about stupid first years. Phil and Alex looked at one another one the couch, mostly confused. Phil reached for the remote and paused the movie.

“So you do have any more embarrassing stories about Dan that I can tease him about? I need some good material.”

Alex grinned wickedly. He looked so much like Dan, it was almost scary. He launched into stories about Dan’s teenage years.

“So, at eighteen, our parents wanted Dan to study law at Manchester. He didn’t agree and when he said he was going to Manchester to apply, he was actually on his way to Ravensbourne University, London. By the time our parents found out, he was well into his second year, and had a very promising internship at a fashion design company. Our parents were never the most involved parents out there, but they cared. It wasn’t until they found out about Dan’s ambition that it took a turn for the worse. They nearly cut all contact with him. During that time, I started living outside of our home more and more. I slept over at friends, family and tried to be home as little as possible.” Alex took a deep breath. Somehow they’d ended up talking about the Howell siblings’ parental situation.

“Dan reached out to me, and begged me not to say a word to our parents. He helped me discover me, and came up with the name Alex. Then, half a year ago, mum and dad reached out to Dan. they wanted to catch up with him. So we set up a day where we would come down to London. That’s how we ended up at the café. Then Dan came out, and everything crashed. I’m not allowed to go out, and they are convinced I’m in Liverpool with one of my friends to look into the university options. Dan gave me an out. He gave me a way to freedom. But my finances are in the way. The neighbourhood that’s close to my new school is homophobic, has slurs written on every wall. It’s the only place I can afford that is within traveling distance.”

A silence fell over the two. Phil was racking his brain. There was something on the edge of his brain, an idea forming gradually.

“I might have just found a way to solve your housing problem. I have three bedrooms in this flat. I don’t know why I ever bought it. I wanted to turn one into an office, but that wasn’t necessary. One of them is a guest bedroom, and one is just empty. I’ve been thinking about getting a flatmate. I just don’t want a stranger living with me. Would you maybe move in? If you want you can pay some sort of cost of living.”

Before the last sentence was properly out of his mouth, Alex launched himself across the couch and threw his arms around Phil.

“Thank you! Thank you so much! God, you don’t know how good a person you are.”

Phil blushed and hugged the boy back. “I do want to ask you something else, but I’ll wait until Dan gets back.”

As if on cue the front door opened. (Phil had given Dan a spare key because Phil’s tendency to lose his keys occurred frequently.) Dan shouted out ‘I’m back’ and let the door fall in the lock.

“So I managed to save my garment, and not kill the first year who spilled the coke. Are you proud of me yet?” he came into the lounge, hair tousled like when he ran his hands through it too much. Why did Phil now that he’d done that. Maybe because he’d seen him do it so much. He looked exhausted, and frankly, kind of adorable.

“Dan! Right on time. Phil has offered to take me in as flatmate. Also he wanted to ask us both something, so shut up and sit down.” Alex pushed his brother down on the sofa between himself and Phil.

“So, I’m working on a new project at the BBC. They want me to host a special, and I can decide what it’s about. I’ve got an idea set up, and invited several guests to be there too. Wait I have the website on my laptop…” Phil fumbled around with his laptop for a few minutes before turning the screen towards the two Howells.

Cheer for all those who are queer!

Dan’s breath hitched, and then he looked up at Phil. “you invited UK’s most well-known LGBT+ YouTubers, and they’re going to be there to speak?! That’s amazing Phil, congrats!”

Phil swallowed and smiled gratefully at Dan. “I want to start the conversation on acceptance from family and how this is a topic that’s kept under wraps. I wanted to ask you two if you want to accompany me, talk about your personal situation, and help me present the whole thing. I never had to deal with unaccepting parents. When I came out as bisexual, they were accepting. I don’t want to be /that/ person that gives tips whilst knowing absolutely nothing.” Phil took another deep breath.

“So would you do me the honour of presenting ‘Cheer for all those who are Queer!’ with me?”

Dan looked between the screen and Phil, mouth gaping. “You want me, a fashion major, who is the most unknown person in Britain, to host a radio special?! You are insane! Yes, I’ll do it.”

Alex looked up hesitantly. “I’d love to, but when is the special. I can’t do it before graduation. Mum and dad don’t know yet.”

“That’s why I asked my boss if I could do it after your official graduation. He agreed. We can get you settled and then we’ll do the actual special.” Phil smiled oh so softly, eyes shining.

Before anything else could be said or done, Dan tackled Phil into a hug, throwing them both onto the side of the sofa unoccupied. Alex wolf whistled loudly, but Dan ignored it in favour of saying what he’d been thinking for a while now.

“Phil, you are the best person I’ve met in a long time. God, what would we Howells do without you? I love you.”

Dan stiffened, his hold on Phil going tense. Alex coughed and Phil grew still. After a short, tense silence, Phil exhaled slowly.

“I love you too.” It was soft, barely above a whisper. Slowly, they pulled back from the hug. Dan turned to look at Alex, only to see him munching on crisps whilst staring at them.

Suddenly laughter bubbled up in Dan’s throat. He barked out a half laugh, before properly dissolving into laughter. Alex nearly choked on his crisps before succumbing to the laughter to it too.

Phil looked between the two Howell brothers, amused yet confused. His grin turned into little giggles which eventually grew into full on laughter.

---

Later in the night, they were watching Ant-man. Phil yawned discreetly, at least what he thought was discreetly. But Dan caught him out on it, only he was judging to soon, as before he could say anything he yawned with his mouth wide open.

“You guys can crash here. I’m not letting you get on the Tube at this hour of the night. Alex I’ll show you what will be your bedroom. Dan, I haven’t cleaned the guest bedroom in a while, so you can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the sofa.” Phil got up and gathered the dirty dishes stashed on the coffee table. Dan swiftly got up to help him. Alex was half asleep, mumbling something about making things tiny.

“Absolutely not! You cannot sleep on that sofa. We’ll share the bed. I don’t mind at all.” He put force behind his words by setting down the dirty dishes, maybe a tad too hard. He turned to Phil, who had turned on the tab to start the dishes. Dan lay a hand on his, and pushed the tab closed.

“And you are not doing the dishes right now. We’ll do it in the morning, together. I helped create the dishes, after all.”

Phil just smiled at the man in front of him, looking so different from the one he’d met in front of the café three months ago. His smiled reached his eyes, dimples were etched into his cheeks. He stood up straight, shoulders right and an air of confidence about him that seemed to make him glow.

Phil step forward and pulled him in for a hug. They stood there with their arms around one another for a while. Eventually Dan pulled away, immensely reluctant to release Phil’s warm body.

“Come on, you look like you’re going to fall asleep right here. Let’s go to bed.”

Dan found that he couldn’t defy the softly spoken command.

As the night passed Dan turned from his side of Phil’s bed to the warm body next to him. He had always been a sucker for spooning.

When Phil woke up he felt warm. No, not warm, hot almost uncomfortably so. Almost, but not quite, because of the amazing smell and the soft puffs of air that touched Phil’s face. His arms were wrapped around Dan who was sprawled out partly on top and partly against his side, in a weird way. Somehow, it was comfortable, because he was fast asleep and occasionally hummed under his breath.

Phil laid there, content to be in this moment. He felt so much for the man that sleeping so close to him. He wanted him to have everything he needed.

After a while of Phil creepily staring, Dan started to wake up. First his humming became more of a soft groaning, then he started to breathe deeper.

“Good morning, handsome.” Phil didn’t know where the nickname had come form, but he damn sure didn’t regret it.

“Mmm, right back at you,” Dan mumbled, face now pressed directly into Phil’s bare chest. Phil slept without a shirt most nights, except when it was freezing out.

He looked up from his comfortable spot, into Phil’s bright eyes, intensified by the morning sun coming in.

“God, can you not look so beautiful when you wake up?!” Dan sounded almost offended, yet it was massively outweighed by the fondness and utter adoration in his voice.

“Says the model. You look like you’re doing a photoshoot, not like you’ve just woken up. I just want to kiss the sleep off your face.”

Dan’s breathing hitched. “What’s stopping you? Not me.”

Phil leaned forward and captured Dan’s lips between his own. Like everything else about the blue-eyed man, his lips were soft and warm, delicate and somehow even caring.

A whine left Dan’s throat before he responded, if a bit too eager. Phil slowed him back down, till they were kissing softly, dare Dan say, lovingly.

Their lips disconnected, but before either could pull away completely, Phil pecked Dan’s lips once. “We should get up. I want a good bowl of cereal.”

So they wandered into the kitchen. Dan decided to let Alex sleep for a little bit. He deserved it.

Sat at Phil’s kitchen table, spooning cereal, whilst occasionally smiling at Phil, made Dan feel so warm inside.

“So, I wanted to ask you. Would you want to be my boyfriend?” Phil smiled slightly as he asked.

Dan dropped his spoon into the bowl, staring up in awe at his friend... no boyfriend. “Yes. God I’ve wanted to hear that so bad.” He reached for Phil’s hand across the table and smiled fondly at him.

“Ugh, gross! Get a room you two.” Alex stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a mixture of amusement and disinterest on his face.

“Fuck off Alex!”

----

“Good afternoon Britain, and welcome to BBC Radio One. I’m Phil Lester and I’ll be hosting a special event today. ‘Cheer for all those who are Queer!’. Presenting alongside me are Dan Howell and Alex Howell….”

Dan smiled at his boyfriend as he chatted away to a room full of people, and a large portion of the population of Britain.

God he was lucky.

[partlycharlie-archive]

me, myself & i

chapter one: diagnosis link to chapter two 

summary: "God, you fucking dumbass." Dan sat up, looking around in confusion. "Phil? Is that you? Where am I?" Phil sighed. "You're in a coma. Congrats." (or: dan is sad and phil is a coping mechanism) word count: 1,207 warnings: inaccurate representation of mental illness, suicide attempt, comatose character a/n: hello! this is my first fic for the phandom reverse bang 2018!

artist:: ughh-its-leah beta: artlessdynamic 

the art!

read on ao3

DISCLAIMER: please do NOT use this as ANY sort of guide in relation to what mental illness is like. dan's illness is VAGUELY based off of DID (dissociative identity disorder), with a mild case of epilepsy that flares up when dan and phil switch. however: this is not meant to be a representation of what DID or epilepsy is like, these are only vague diagnoses and were purposely not entirely accurate.

ALSO. while thinking: phil's thoughts look like this, and dan's thoughts look like 'this'.

“Bipolar disorder.”

“What?”

Dan shook his head, brown curls shaking across his forehead as his glabella (ha, thanks Phil) creased in confusion. Pianist’s (oh, yeah, sure, keep using that description. Totally accurate.) fingers tapped gently against the soft brown fabric of his chair.

Dr. Warren, the psychiatrist Dan had been meeting with every month for the past year, shrugged. “Based on what you’ve told us - and assuming there’s nothing you’ve been hiding -” (here he glares disappointedly at Dan, because of course) “- this seems most reasonable. If I could diagnose you with something like baby bipolar, I would, because some of the symptoms don’t fit - your manic episodes aren’t nearly as extreme as most of the patients I see with this diagnosis, and the depressive episodes seem to last longer than normal - most are about a month, yeah?”

Dan nodded, all of the questions he wanted to ask still stuck on the tip of his tongue.

“Right. But again, seeing as you’re not dealing with the aftermath of any traumatic events, and - at least according to mine and Rebecca’s observations -” (right, because of course they’re always so accurate) “- there’s are no signs of auditory or visual hallucinations, or anything else like that - well. This is what we’re sticking with.” Dr. Warren smiled, tiny lines gently creasing the sides of his mouth and the corners of his eyes.

Yikes. Auditory and visual hallucinations? What kind of crazy did Dr. Warren think he was?

Listen, you know better than anyone that they're just trying to cover all their bases.

He knew that, obviously.

“Obviously this is subject to change, yeah? If any new symptoms pop up, or you stop having episodes, then you just let me know. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, yeah?”

Dan nodded again, shorter this time, fingers continuing to tap restlessly against the arm of his chair. Something didn’t feel right about this.

Well, obviously. That’s because the diagnosis isn’t right, dumbass. You know that.

Dan resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

‘Yeah, I’m well aware’, he thought, and could almost feel the weight of Phil’s sigh on his chest.

“… but! That would lead to a pretty consistent feeling of drowsiness throughout the day, so I would suggest taking them right before bed, if you can.”

Dan shook his head, waving the cobwebs out from his mind. “Sorry,” he said, smiling sheepishly, “got lost for a minute there. What’d you say?”

The grey-haired doctor smiled again, this one filled with just a bit more pity than the last.

“I was just saying that I’d like to discuss possible routes for the future. Obviously we’ll be continuing the bi-monthly therapy sessions, as those seem to help maintain your level of mental stability -“ (not that there’s much to maintain, anyway) “- so. What to you think? You can keep seeing Rebecca and introduce medications, maybe, and see how it goes from there?”

Dan rubbed a hand over his face, thinking hard.

Don’t do it, asswit.

‘Why not?’

Well, one, you’re not fucking bipolar.

‘Point.’

Two, what if it’s poisoned? Then you die. Then I die. I don’t want to die!

‘… point.’

Plus. Plus! What if it doesn’t do shit!

‘Eh. Point.’

“Okay. Sounds like a good idea. Let’s - go for it. I guess?” Dan put on his best smile, watching as Dr. Warren started typing rapidly on the computer.

“Lovely. I'll set you up with the prescription, and you can…”

Wow. Fuck you, I guess.

‘Love you too, Phil.’

---

A key pressed into a lock. Steady fingers pushing it through, to the side. A split second of deafening silence - the quiet click of the unlocking door. Wide-cut shoulders pushing the door open; long legs walking their way into the apartment, up the stairs, in the door, and -

‘Are you done yet?’

Phil sighed.

“You know I like to have this time to myself without you interjecting,” he said out loud, kicking the door shut with the heel of one foot.

‘Yeah, well, I saw one of the neighbors looking at us weird because you walk like a retard, so. Whose fault is that, again?’

“There are a lot of problems with that statement,” Phil muttered, raising an eye at himself in the hallway mirror. “For one, how many times are we going to have the ‘don’t use retard unless we’re talking about ourselves talk?’”

‘At least five. Ballpark estimate.’

“Why are you using American metaphors?”

‘Why not?’

“Point.” Phil shrugged his jacket off. “But! You distracted me, Asshole. Also - how is it my fault that we walk differently?”

‘Because we’re not actually different people? I feel like this is obvious.’

“Okay, yeah. Sure.” Phil sighed again (he was noticing a theme here). “Still? I feel like, me being an aspect of your personality or whatever they’d call it, like. I represent your shitty side, right?”

‘That is… factually correct, okay.’

“So, like, shouldn’t everything about me represent that? Like, when you picture me, do you see you?”

‘No, of course not. That’d be ridiculous.’

“Right! So -” Phil stopped short, almost tripping over the corner of his table. “Wait. What do you picture me as?”

‘Um.’

Phil could feel Dan trying to retreat into the back of his mind. “Oh, no no no, you are not getting out of this one. Who do you picture me as?”

Dan sighed, and Phil felt his chest expand with it.

‘Fine. Whatever. So, um. Do you - I don’t know if you know anything from before I found out about you, but. Do you remember that old Youtube guy?’

“No…“ Phil stretched out the word, then paused again when he realized - shit, that old Youtube guy was -

“MOTHERFUCKER.”

‘Jesus FUCKING Christ, Phil, what the hell?’

“Sorry, sorry - this fucking table screwed me over.”

‘Ew.’

Phil snorted, rubbing his shin to feel for where the bruise was probably starting to form. Not there, not there, not - Phil let out a hiss of breath. There it is.

‘Why do you always do that?’

“Do what?” Phil sat down on the couch, feeling his thighs sink into the cushion.

'Rub the bruises.’

He glanced at the pharmacy bag in his hands, then pulled the handles apart to peer inside. “Um. I like pain? I don’t know.”

‘Ew.’

“Yeah, yeah.” Phil rubbed a hand down his face, pushing his eye into his forearm to rub the imaginary eyelash out. “You want to eat something?”

A snort came out of his throat, unbidden. ‘When do I not?’

Phil patted his tummy and let go, a shiver running down his spine as Dan spun to the forefront.

Dan felt his body shake slightly as he took control of his senses. The pharmacy bag, still clutched tightly in his hand, trembled with the shock. Pills rattled inside their bottles, and the noise felt like a blaring siren in his ears.

Dan rolled his eyes once the shivering had stopped. “Can you please stop doing that without any warning?”

Not my fault it hurts more for you than it does for me.

Dan's nostrils flared. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he grumbled, dropping the crumpled bag next to him.

Listen, my friend, all I’m trying to say is that you're… weak. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

“Thanks, asshole.”

[phandomreversebang]

🚨Claiming Information 🚨

This time, as most of you know, we changed up claiming a little bit. So now, authors will only be claiming. 

Claiming for authors will begin at 4pm EST tomorrow, November 20th. If that time conflicts with you for any reasoning, let one of the admins know and we can claim your piece for you based on what you want. 

Beta claiming is also going to be happening tomorrow at the same time. Once authors claim an art piece, they will go to the next tab on the same sheet and then claim the beta who meets all of your criteria and your preferences. Please note that you most definitely can use your own beta but also know that we do not encourage this. We encourage you to use one of the beta’s on the sheet. 

All of this info will be relayed back to you via a longer post when claiming opens. 

For now, we have one note you must consider: claiming is not going to successfully work on a mobile device. The admins have tried everything from Androids to iPhones and it just doesn’t work so please plan ahead and try to get to a desktop or laptop for claiming. If that’s completely out of the question for you, let us know and we can help you out! We want to be as helpful as possible during claiming. Or if you have a method of claiming on mobile from previous events, please send it our way!!!

For authors who signed up for more than one piece: please only claim your first choice piece tomorrow and your beta for that piece, not more than that. We will send out a post when it’s time to claim your second piece, and if applicable, when you can claim your third piece. 

If you have any questions between today and tomorrow when claiming begins, please let us know! We really want this experience to be one of ease and not one of stress. So do not hesitate to ask us or let us know any of your concerns. 

If not, we’ll see you all tomorrow at 4pm EST. 

[phandomreversebang]

🚨Second Claiming Wave Is Open! 🚨

Hello everyone! 

If you signed up for more than one fic, you may now claim your second fic on this sheet! 

Don’t forget to also claim your second beta as well!

We still have a good portion of spots left so if you didn’t sign up for a second claim and want to, contact us and we’ll let you know if you can! 

Also, if you still have not claimed your first fic or beta yet, please do so! And remember, first claims take over second claims so if you are a first claim and claim a spot where a second claim is, you will get that spot! If this comes up (it never has) then we’ll fix it accordingly! 

If you’re confused, you can visit our info post here 

Happy claiming!