https://archiveofourown.org/works/77352436/chapters/202520981
No one said anything for the rest of the ride. Walk to the table. Or when Kenny passed out their food.
Kyle didn't even notice when he sat his sandwich in front of him.
Sheila strolled through the dining room without a care in the world.
Too much was swimming through Kyle's head to look his mother in the eye right now.
Stan and Kenny watched him. Kyle felt sweat prick his forehead.
It was okay. If his mom suspected anything—she'd think it was drugs.
Sheila grabbed her keys off the counter.
"Sorry I won't be around long this evening, boys."
Her purse jingled.
"Gerald has a conference in Denver tomorrow. I have some shopping I want to get done there—"
Kyle was still staring at his uneaten dinner.
Sheila swung her purse over her shoulder.
"I sent you some money for the weekend."
She squeezed Kyle's shoulder. He didn't look up. The smell of food was making him nauseous.
Sheila stuck her hands on her hips, eyeing him curiously.
"Are you alright, Bubbe? You look pale."
Kyle blinked.
"I'm just tired."
Sheila nodded. "Well, call if you need anything. Bye, boys, it was nice to see you."
"Bye, Mrs. Broflvski," Kenny and Stan said at the same time.
She left through the door.
The air got thinner as soon as it shut.
Kyle's protection from the conversation was gone.
Kenny chewed a chicken nugget slowly.
Stan rolled his eyes. "Dude, forget I said anything."
"I'm into sports," Kyle said quietly. "I just... I focused on other stuff besides girls."
Kenny dropped his nugget back in the box with a sigh.
Kyle winced.
"Maybe I'm just an empath?"
"Dude!" Stan snapped.
He exhaled softly, turning his palm over.
"The only thing I have a problem with is Cartman."
Kyle's stomach plummeted.
He kept shaking his head.
"Aren't you guys worried, too?"
Stan dragged his hand down his face.
"Yeah..." he blinked hard.
"It's just different."
Kyle scowled. "How?"
Stan started to empty way too much sauce on his sandwich, shrugging without meeting Kyle's eyes.
Kenny glanced at Stan.
He turned back to Kyle, rubbing his neck.
Kyle flipped his palms over. His head darted between them like he was waiting for someone to tell him it was a joke.
"This is ridiculous!" He crossed his arms. "I'm the only one that ever knows what he's up to."
"Exactly," Stan blinked his eyes up, exasperated.
"Me and Kenny figured it out years ago, dude."
Kyle's jaw dropped.
"How—" his voice cracked. "How could you possibly know before I do?"
Kenny was eating nuggets like he'd checked out of the conversation.
Stan scraped extra sauce off his sandwich.
"Kenny?" Kyle tried.
Kenny exhaled through his nose.
"Kyle..." he pushed the box away. "You never told me anything. So I don't know?"
Stan winced at Kyle guiltily.
"It's high school, man. You're not the only gay kid. If anything, you're the only one that won't come out."
Kyle felt his blood drain. All the gay kids worked it into conversation every chance they got.
God, it was like watching his cousin Kyle exist with his allergies.
He winced.
Was he gay and homophobic?
It felt like finding out he was the only Jew in school all over again.
Kyle's chest caved all the way in. Was he even gay or was it just—
"Cartman?" his own voice startled him. The name just fell out of his mouth.
Kenny’s eyebrows lifted, just barely.
Stan’s chewing slowed.
Kyle's face burned.
Kenny squeezed his shoulder.
"We don't think any differently—"
"God!" Kyle curled his fingers into fists.
Kenny brought his arm back.
Stan and Kenny watched him carefully. They resumed eating in silence.
Kyle frowned at the table. Why the hell was he entertaining the idea?
He'd thought girls were hot. He didn't mean to look at Cartman.
Didn't everyone have stupid thoughts after puberty?
Probably not about Cartman, though.
But he looked like he needed help. There was something heavier in his eyes—
Kyle flinched, rubbing his eyes too hard.
Kenny slurped the last sip out of his drink.
He watched Kyle from the corner of his eye, like he wasn’t sure if this was the time to talk or stay quiet.
"Are Jews like Christians about gays?" Kenny asked innocently.
Kyle's shoulders tensed.
He rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hands.
"You guys are so fucking goy," he groaned into his palms.
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