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thought of this before watching Batman vs Superman at the cinema
OK. Imagine a guy named Bunyamin n his nickname is Buns. He introduces himself like "hi my name's Bunyamin, it's basically Benjamin but don't call me that. I go by Buns, cuz my anaconda don't want none unless you got Buns, hun."
Pre-sleep thought about The Strokes being stranded in a desert pt1
Why the F did I write this. I'm barely even in the fandom cuz I only knew some of the songs, not their personalities sajkfhsdkjfhdsk but I was high. I was sleepy and stupid-high. Oh well.
First, the bit with Julian Casablancas waking up. He realized he was surrounded by sand n couldn't find his bandmates n instruments everywhere after performing a gig somewhere. Suddenly he was just in the desert separated from everyone else. Hungover, he yelled the other 4's names like a madman.
He found Fabrizio Moretti lying unconscious. "FAB!" he yelled & ran towards the drummer, shaking him up & after a few attempts he hockspat on his face, waking him up. "Oh man Fab im glad I found you" he said. "Oh man Jules is that you? Where are we anyway? Why do you smell like piss? Why do i smell like piss?" asked Fabrizio n Julian said "yeah man we're in some sort of desert idk how dafuq did we got here maybe we were drunk". Fabrizio said "scratch maybe, we're DEFINITEly drunk". After a few seconds he realized he didnt have his beloved drum set with him & suddenly screamed "AAAAAH MY DRUMS... MY DRUMSTICKS... ALL GOOOONE BUUHUU" sobbing on the sand. Julian shook his head n grabbed the drummer by the butt & dragged him across the sand "cmon Fab let's go, crying wont find ur drums... but it might find the others tho."
Both of them walked around n screamed n yelled like hungover madmen, & eventually found Albert Hammond Jr with his head buried in sand due to sand dunes forming. "DUDE WE GOTTA SAVE THAT GUY" yelled Fabrizio & they pulled him out. They realized it was Albert & he was oxygen-deprived n fatigued. "Dude... we should do CPR" sighed Julian "you go first". "No way my mouth is touching his mouth" said Fabrizio squirming It seemed like the two had no other choice but to anticipate & take turns blowing into Albert's mouth... luckily he jolted up, coughing up sand and gasping for air just as they were about to actually do it. What a relief.
When the rhythmic guitarist regained consciousness, he's like "ngggh am I dreaming or are you really Jules n Fab & not aliens impersonating them?" n Fabrizio was like "nah bro it is us" as both him n Julian lifted Albert by the armpits, since he was fatigued due to oxygen deprivation. Albert was like "wheres my guitar tho" n hearing this, Fabrizio remembered he's still frantic abt losing his instruments n panicked, digging everywhere with his arms searching for his drumsticks. Albert was like "calm down ur not d only one looking for lost instruments" then Julian was like "at least i got this" n shows 'em his mic stand. Both Albert n Fabrizio were like "DAFUQ DUDE you had that thing this whole time?" & Julian was like "yeah n since Albert is here..." he then throws d mic stand over Albert like he drunkenly used to in music videos. Lel.
Hours later they were searching again using the mic stand as a walking stick cuz albert is still fatigue. they found Nick Valensi topless in an oasis. An actual oasis. They couldn't believe their eyes n they crazily drunk d water, yelling "OH MAI FAHKING GAHD ACTUAL WATER GULP GULP GLUG BURP" n laughing like mofos, before coming to their senses and tried waking the unconscious lead guitarist up. Julian walked over n lightly slapped Nick's cheeks n Fabrizio splashed water on his face, both chanting "Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick" with deadpan faces, but he still didn't wake up. Suddenly Albert crawled over n with Julian's mic stand he whacked Nick's head with his remaining strength. The other two were like "WTF ALBERT" n he's like "I dunno why the fuq did i do that, he was unconscious n your efforts r useless as sht". Fabrizio said "well maybe he was just sleeping n now hes knocked unconscious because of you! >:(" As the 3 bickered they lifted him outta the oasis n realized he's not juz topless, but BUCK NAKED. His dick was dangling just a few inches away from their noses. "Well at least we still have our clothes", Julian said with relief "BUT MY DRUMS THO T~T" Fabrizio began again in an almost-crying voice & eventually got SHUSHed by the guitarist & leadsinger. They still need to find Nikolai Fraiture, n lo and behold, a few moments later they found him... STUCK TO A CACTUS. HES UPSIDE DOWN N BLEEDING. "GASP NIKOLAI NUUU" they screamed, cuz so far he was in the worst shape ever since the band mysteriously got transported in this hell of a desert. Leaving Nick out cuz he's still out cold (and naked), the three tried tugging the bassist from the cactus but he won't budge. "Great, who told him to have sex with a cactus?" asked Fabrizio. Julian replied with "you said it yourself we're definitely drunk. ANYONE OF US could have had sex with a cactus!" "Maybe the cactus still has feelings for him," added Albert, "or maybe it doesnt know how one night stands work". They tried tugging him off for 13 minutes until they got pricked by cactus needles themselves. Nikolai eventually regained consciousness... upon realizing his butt n limbs were pricked with cactus needles, he screamed bloody murder and miraculously sprung himself away from the cactus. Thankfully he didnt lose a lot of blood tho. "Aw dude," he moaned "did I just bang a cactus?" The other three reacted in an awkward mixture of shrugging, nodding & facepalming. The bassist followed & facepalmed himself.
[to be continued]
Rucksack
My name is Rucksack I have a rucksack It tastes like rucksack You smell like rucksack The colour rucksack Looks just like Rucksack Rucksack plus rucksack Equals two times rucksack A little rucksack To hold that rucksack And hold this rucksack With that one rucksack We're drinking rucksack Listening to Rucksack Playing the rucksack While smoking rucksack Camping in rucksacks The night was rucksack We had to rucksack home So we rode on said rucksacks Flying rucksacks Because we're rucksacks On flying rucksacks Heading for rucksacks
What's the difference between a rock and a stone? Stone isn't a music genre.
Meanwhile at a gay bar...
Some dude: Someone call the Fabulance, I think he just died from my FABULOUSNESS! Everyone: Hollaaaaaa~ *fistbump* *chestbump* *dickbump* *swordfight ensues*
....
Wtf is wrong with this pre-sleep thought it sounds demeaningly stereotyping
