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Why? Because true translation is not a binary affair between two languages but a triangular affair. The third point of the triangle being what lay behind the words of the original text before it was written. True translation demands a return to the pre-verbal.
John Berger, Confabulations
Inside Autism: Stimming + Pre-Verbal Communication WTjd100307ab1o2.doc
WORD TRANSCRIPT with notes and commentary c. 2007, 2013 by S .A. Jones
SEE VIDEO AT: http://youtu.be/yej7CxZUiFo
10/03/2007, Tape 1/2, CLIPS a & b. TRT: 00:19:20
SUMMARY: ‘A.’ discusses how she was treated by non-family. At approximately 07:00 she talks about stimming; purpose of, relief and outlet/expression. At 12:00 ‘A.’ describes some forms of pre-verbal/typing communication: biting, spitting, circling.
KEY: ~‘S.’= Sarah, interviewer/filming. ~‘A.’=Woman being interviewed. ~‘B.’=Woman’s child.
LOCATION: ‘A.’s’ home, bedroom, day. ‘A.’ and child ‘B.’; S. A. Jones filming/interviewing. ‘A.’ is in bed. ‘B.’ is behind her, near the wall. T.V. is on; sound from programming can be heard in the background.
S: Today is October 3, 2007, and this is Sarah with *** and Dolphin, and we are in their room, where they sleep –and doing a read off of some white paper, and we’re going to do an interview. ***’s eyes are hurting, so they may be closed quite a bit during the interview. I’m going to ask some questions that we’ve asked before, and just talk about what you’re comfortable saying, and then we’ll just go on to the next question, and then another... and then we’ll stop in about a half-hour. ...Just want to make sure this is working... perfect. Okay, so do you think of your life in terms of before and after you could communicate?
A: Yes. [ BEGINS BITING NAILS. ]
S: And what was it like before you could communicate?
A: Backward. It was, um... no choices. Like an animal... kind of, somewhat.
S: Did you feel like an animal inside, outside, or both? [ 02:00 ]
A: Inside... Outside. Inside, where?
S: In your mind; in your feelings.
A: I was so much like an animal in that I was instinctive and primal, in a way. Like, I felt like I had more in common with the dogs.
S: How did people treat you, before you could communicate?
A: Like I was retarded, then. Yeah. Like, retarded. [ SPELLS: ] C-o-n-d-e-s-c-e-n-d-i-n-g...
S: Condescending. [ PAUSE ] What was it like at home?
A: Better. A lot better.
S: What was it like... how, better? What was it like to be with people that you knew, versus strangers... before you could communicate? [ 04:00 ]
A: Maybe everyone should be nice to each other.
[ ‘B.’ MAKES SOUNDS. ]
A: [ CONT. ] You didn’t do nothing wrong, too, until you’re outside.
S: How do you mean?
A: Like, if I did something at home, then it was O.K.; but if I did something in front of people, then it was not O.K.
S: And who was it not O.K. with?
A: I don’t know...other people...that weren’t used to it.
S: So, were you given the message that your behavior was O.K. sometimes and not O.K. at other times?
A: Yes.
S: And so how did people that you knew treat you, [ 05:00 ] --say, did they treat you at home as in public?
A: No.
S: What would be some different ways that they would treat you in public?
A: Embarrassed.
S: How did you know they were embarrassed? Did their voice or smell, or other things change with them, or did they stay the same? What was your way of knowing? Did they literally say, ‘I am embarrassed about you’?
A: Yes.
S: Your sister would say...
A: ‘ ‘It’s embarrassing.’
S: What would your mom say?
A: Uh...
S: Er, what would she do, if she didn’t say anything?
A: She would get upset at my sister. [ 06:00 ]
S: How did strangers treat you when you could not communicate?
A: Like I have no understanding... and I’m not even there –you know.
S: Did you feel visible, or invisible?
A: Invisible.
S: What would a stranger do that would make you feel invisible?
A: They talked like I was not there.
S: So if they were talking, then they talked to somebody else, but not to you?
A: Yes.
S: Why-- ...I’m going to switch to a different topic, here –if it’s O.K. with you. I wanted to talk about stimming, which would be things like: if you’re biting your hand, or doing movements, or things that are repetitive. We had talked... when I first met you, you had talked about that you sometimes, in the past, would do things like bite or tear or eat your hair, and how you do things like biting or eating your fingers or your feet.
A: Yeah.
S: Can you help, for a typical person –to talk about why?
A: Calming.
S: And, uh... what does... so stimming helps you calm down. [ 08:00 ] Why do you no longer do other stims? Why have you sometimes changed stims in your life?
A: Negative attention that might hurt me.
S: Can you give an example?
A: People calling the police, and ending up in a mental [ INDECIPHERABLE ] --or the police would test me for drugs.
S: What kind of a stim would make the police or typical people react that way? Because right now, your stim looks very calm.
A: It’s strange, because when you need the stim the most, it’s at a time when you’re not supposed to do it. Like, when you’re most nervous.
S: Is there anything besides being nervous, that might make you want to stim?
A: Happy.
S: Anything else?
A: Fear.
S: Would anything with health problems, might make a person want to stop stimming?
A: Yeah, like headaches, or um--
S: When is more, for stimming: intense feelings, or mild feelings?
A: Any feelings. [ 10:00 ]
S: So mild and intense?
A: Yeah.
S: If you are feeling intense feelings, what would stimming help to do? Would it make your feelings more intense or more calm?
A: I don’t know. It’s more like: you smile if you’re happy –or laugh. Or you cough, when your throat scratches. Sometimes you don’t think about it. It just happens and you don’t notice it.
S: If someone had a machine, where they could make it so your body could not stim at all. Would you have no feelings, or more feelings?
A: I don’t understand –a machine that would...
S: If there was a device, or a machine, or something –that would make you stop stimming. Even if you wanted to stim, you physically could not stim. Would it make you have no feelings, more feelings, or something else?
A: More feelings.
S: And would they be good feelings or bad feelings?
A: Bad.
S: Were there ways that you communicated before talking or typing? [ 12:00 ]
A: Yes.
S: Can you explain some of the ways that you would communicate?
A: A lot of it non-verbal.
S: And what would be a... something non-verbal that you would do, for communication?
A: The Dolphin –she has a lot of non-verbal communication that is different from typical non-verbal communication. [ 13:00 ]
S: How is –can we say –What would a typical person do for non-verbal communication?
A: It’s like, we have non-verbal communication just different languages, this be so.
S: Well, like, today Dolphin was...
A: Everybody speaking, one non-verbal. I wish we had non-verbal communication, everybody spoke it.
S: Can you... If something was really bugging you, and you were non-verbal. Other than stimming, what would be another non-verbal thing you would do to let someone know they were really irritating you?
A: Bite them.
S: Would that be part of your non-verbal communication, then?
A: Somewhat.
S: But I would know –if you bit me, I would know something was bothering you. [ 14:00 ] I might not know what it was, but I would know that something wasn’t right. But what would --let’s say; If someone gave you food, but you hated the taste of it, what could be a non-verbal way of communicating that, if you were non-verbal, or non-typing?
A: I’d spit it out.
S: And what would typical people do that would make you think that they were not understanding?
A: Hmm... Not understanding that?
S: You said there were parts of your non-verbal communication that people didn’t understand. What if you found something really interesting, and you liked it; how would you show that, if you had no typing or words? Would that be part of the non-verbal language they couldn’t understand?
A: Yeah, I would pay attention to it. Maybe too much, or...um, I would move next to something... I moved around... I moved around something.
S: But a typical person might not understand that if you were moving around something, then that meant that you were interested in it.
A: Yeah. Like, uh... I wouldn’t take direct approaches to something.
S: What would be –so a typical person can understand, –what would be a direct approach? [ 16:00 ]
A: O.K. If I said ‘Hi,’ I would need to, ‘Ease up on it,’ you know, like the song, ‘Ease up on it.’
S: You were telling me about how autistic people greet each other.
A: Some of us, yeah. Like, we will float around each other.
S: That would be a way to say, ‘I’m interested. Hello. I’m not going to overwhelm you right away.’
A: Yes. Yes. Like, sideways, or circle... and non-confrontational. Um, most, many people can come off as confrontational. [ 17:00 ] [ REPEATS, COUNTING SYLLABLES ] I got good rhythm.
NOTE: PER ABOVE, ‘A.’ IS ANALYSING/‘CHECKING IN’ WITH HERSELF ABOUT HOW SHE IS VERBALIZING. IN OTHER INTERVIEWS AND CORRESPONDENSE ‘A.’ DISCUSSES HOW IT IS CHALLENGING FOR HER TO GET THE RIGHT INFLECTION AND CADENCE WITH SPEECH. ALSO, SHE TALKS ABOUT HOW IT IS DIFFICULT/IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO DECIPHER INFLECTION, INUENDO, ‘DOUBLE-MEANINGS’ AND SO ON, IN THE SPEECH OF OTHER PEOPLE.
WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER, I HAD TO CONSTANTLY MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE CONCRETE AND DIRECT IN MY COMMUNICATION, BECAUSE ‘A.’ ‘HEARD’ MY‘WORDS,’ BUT NOT NECESSARILY ANYTHING ELSE CONVEYED BY MY VOICE. LIKE-WISE, BECAUSE WHEN ‘A.’ LISTENS, SHE IS NOT USING HER EYES, SHEDOES NOT SEE CUES THAT TYPICALS GIVE EACH OTHER TO SHOW THEY AREPAYING ATTENTION; FOR EXAMPLE, EYE CONTACT, NODDING, FACING THE OTHER PERSON, ETC. THEREFORE, I HAD TO CUE AND REASSURE VERBALLY AS ONE MIGHT NEED TO DO WITH A BLIND PERSON, WITH WORDS LIKE ‘YES,’ AND ‘MM-HM.’ --SEE OTHER INTERVIEWS FOR DISCUSSION AND EXAMPLES. [ ***NEED TO FIND/CITE*** ]
S: With... So if I were a typical person, –I am a typical person. –So if I met somebody autistic for the first time, what would they –If they felt that maybe I’m O.K. to check out, what would they maybe do if they couldn’t type or talk, to show me that maybe they would want to get to know me? What would their behavior be?
A: It would depend on what kind they are.
[ ‘B.’ GROANS AND STARTS STIMMING WITH HEAD ON WALL. ]
S: Ah-ha. Well, you mentioned there are different physical characteristics between autistic people.
A: Yeah. [ 18:00 ]
S: So, why not give me, say, a characteristic, and what that person would do? Like, what would Dov’s or Dolphin’s physical characteristics be?
[ PHONE RINGS, DISTRACTS ‘A.’: STRONG REACTION. ]
A: Um...
S: [ REPEATS: ] What would-- What would someone like Dolphin’s physical characteristic be, and what would that mean that they probably would do if they wanted to be friendly and get –start to let someone know they would like to meet them?
A: Dolphin sits next-- Dolphin would approach people and stand next to them.
S: And what is her primary... You were telling me that one physical characteristic has to do, maybe, with head shape or size? Like, Dolphin’s head is one size and another autistic type has a different-sized head?
A: Ohh...That was like, if they had a small head, then they had more medical issues.
S: O.K. And ah-- [ 19:20 ]
TAPE STOPS ABRUPTLY, MID-SENTENCE.
END TAPE, 19:20.
