TW: This is literally a pregnancy horror fanfic set in the Pluribus universe, so what do you think is in it? Sexual Violence, Domestic Abuse, Suicide, etc. This whole franchise is already canonically DDDNE. I didn't rig shit, man! I DIDN'T RIG FUCKIN' SHIT!!!
"These secret garden beams
Changed my life so it seems
Fall breeze blows outside, I don't break stride
My thoughts are warm
And they go deep inside of you"
Carol turned off the radio alarm in disgust and hid her head under the pillow. The nightmare didn't have to start yet. Not just yet.
Three minutes later, Zosia entered and sat on the bed, putting her hand on her shoulder. "Come on, sleepy head. It's important you stay on a regular sleep schedule"
Carol jerked away and glared at her.
"I see you're not in the mood to be touched" Zosia nodded with the simulacrum of compassion.
"Fuck you!" Carol spat. Zosia twitched a little but recovered.
She slid out of bed and made her way to the bathroom, trying not to steal a glance at herself in the mirror. Even when she shut the door keeping Zosia out, how much privacy did she really have? Who needed bugs when these fiends had parabolic microphones? And she tried not to imagine what they might be studying about her from the neighborhood's septic system. Still, as she sat on the toilet, the illusion of a moment alone to herself, she had to confront reality: her bare stomach was developing an undeniable curve swelling into her lap. As Carol's fingers explored the change, bitter tears erupted again, same as they had for the past few mornings. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. None of this could be real.
In the kitchen, the worker bees bustled with the precision of a 5-star restaurant preparing Carol's breakfast: avocado toast and turkey bacon with a dark chocolate and chia seed smoothie. Carol sat at the countertop and pouted at the tall brown drink. "If it's too bitter, I can make another and add more banana!" Zosia eagerly offered, "You probably need the potassium anyway"
"Do you seriously think that's why I don't trust it?" Carol replied with a deadpan expression.
Zosia sighed, "You're still angry we didn't disclose the gonadotropins we added to your food earlier. As we've explained, as soon as we formed the plan to derive pluripotent cells from your oocytes, we knew we would have to prepare your uterus-"
"You don't just play god, right?" Carol cut her off, "When a person goes through menopause, they're supposed to be out of the woods in a sense! I shouldn't have to worry 'Hmm! What if the collective whole of humanity feels like playing mad scientist and decides to use me as a guinea pig anyway?'!"
"We're sorry this pregnancy is an inconvenience, Carol. But once the embryo had been formed, it was against our nature to destroy it. And the more genetically similar a zygote is to the mother, the less likely it is to be rejected. It just... wouldn't be ethical to attempt to use me or any other woman as a surrogate when you were available"
"Right, because that makes sense" Carol sarcastically huffed. She reached for the smoothie and took a sip, eyeing Zosia like a dog with a bone. Nanobots, RNA, whatever the Others had tainted this shake with, it was surely already in her blood stream by now anyway. She had already spent her fourth month refusing any food they offered and trying to starve herself in protest, and she had lost that battle quite definitively. She couldn't let herself be seduced again, but she allowed herself to take small comfort that if she was going to be a prisoner, at least the grub was good. "The bacon is undercooked" she groused.
"It's cooked to the exact same crispiness as we always do-"
"Yeah well maybe my taste has changed and now I want it burnt black. Have you considered that what I want can change?"
Zosia put her hand over Carol's "Just three more months and your body will be yours again. In the meantime, we will do everything in our power to maximize the health, safety, and comfort of you and the baby. Would you like me to tell you statistics on how maternal mortality rates have improved since the Joining? I think you'll find them quite reassuring. Now, do you need insulin? What was your blood sugar this morning?"
"I don't know" Carol shook her head.
"Carol, gestational diabetes can be serious" Zosia chided, "We can't risk losing you again, now can we?"
Zosia held out her hand as another drone retrieved the glucose monitor from the bedroom and passed it to her. Carol begrudgingly offered her palm, ashamed of her own weakness. Oh sure, she could stick a needle in her forearm no problem when heroin was promised, but for some reason when Carol held the lance against her finger, she couldn't bring herself to press the button. One of the few things she should be able to do for herself, and she still found herself asking for their help. She turned her eyes towards the ceiling as she felt the sting of the needle and heard the device beep.
"Blood sugar is a little high, but that's to be expected after breakfast. We should still probably get you a shot just to be safe"
Carol rubbed her lefthand middle finger, now wrapped in a tissue, "You didn't ask my permission before pricking me..."
"We interpreted you sticking out your hand as giving consent" Zosia smiled.
"I thought you always had to ask before drawing blood. Has there been a time where you just went ahead with it like that before, and I just didn't notice?"
"Didn't think so," frowned Carol, "I don't like that at all. You're not allowed to take anything out of me or put anything into me without my expressed permission. Every time. Do you understand?"
"Of course, Carol. I understand"
Another servant handed Zosia the syringe of insulin. Carol sighed and got to her feet. Zosia positioned herself behind her, and removed the needle's cap.
"On the count of three, ready?" Carol said, "3... 2... OW!"
Zosia gave her a cheeky grin. Through gritted teeth, Carol muttered "I just told you you needed my permission. No surprises!"
"And I told you I heard you" Zosia slowly, lovingly embraced her. She reached forward and brushed a strand of hair behind Carol's ear. That's when the deja vu struck her; she had been in this exact pose many times before. When Helen would hold her from behind and give her her clomiphene shots. Carol remembered saying that she wanted to abandon the IVF treatments; the drugs were making her nauseous and moody. But her wife, her manager, brushed a strand of hair behind Carol's ear and whispered sweetly about how happy they would be once the baby came. It would all be worth it. Carol just had to tough it through this part and then Helen would handle the rest; that way it could be a piece of both of them.
Carol stumbled forward hyperventilating at the epiphany. "Is that too much?" Zosia asked. "Do you feel light headed?" a proffered juice box was already in her hand.
"No. I 'm just... emotional" Carol breathed, "Excuse me for a moment; I need some air" She locked herself in her office and rolled aside the sliding grease board to stare at her concealed notes on the Others' behavior.
This is an ongoing work, but I think I'm going to publish now and just keep updating til it's ready for AO3. Anyone wants to get involved, just leave a comment or send me a DM.