march 2nd 2025
yesterday i had songs stuck in my head that i can’t remember today.
it’s three days until i move and i’m feeling weird. not necessarily bad, but weird. i kind of wonder if i have an eating disorder thing going on or if a lack of appetite is due to the weirdness in my life. or if im just being conscious of what im eating and i know that that can become an eating disorder. i don’t think i actually do. i think it’s a red herring.
i woke up this morning and felt weird. i don’t have a word for it and i don’t know the source, so of course i decided i finally need to get back into journaling.
im redownloading emmo but if that doesn’t have my progress saved i dont want it.
my scalp kind of itches but i think its just dehydrated. if my hair oil isnt packed away forever, i’l hair oil my scalp. i watched a lot of tiktoks on what brands to buy. i settled on this one because of the benefits.
someone said it’s ideal for low porosity hair and lightweight. just what i need i think.
catching up
if you aren’t caught up (or rather, remembering. after all, this diary is for me) i think the best place to start is with jake. he is still actively looking for ways to be in the same space as me. his most recent stunt was trying to join UNITY knowing damn well im the president of that club. cj told us, god bless cj.
cj and i have actually been connecting a lot more. it’s unfortunate that its only now that we are but that just must be how life goes.
i feel i should mention rachel, but i don’t know how i could possibly forget. if you have, let me enlighten you.
rachel decided that gossiping with jake about my whereabouts and private vents was much more important than being loyal to her cousin and best friend of three years.
i think she has feelings for him.
i keep hoping all these horrible things happen to her and i don’t think im mature enough yet for it to feel unproductive. i know that the best revenge would be success, but i don’t have that yet,. so right now thinking about her car breaking down or crushing medical debt or pregnancy that dooms her career as a young woman is all ive got.
the last time we talked was a phone call that ended in her trying to call me childish and immature and incapable of handling my own problems because i reported jake for furthering contact with me after asking for a no-contact order through our college. i think she must have feelings for him or crave his validation. yikes.
sophia also ended up being a major tank. i tried to talk to her about how i felt and it was poorly timed. unintentionally, but still poorly timed. jake very coincidentally left gcs after that message was sent. i wonder why.
today
of course, this is all past tense. all of this is stuff that happened yesterday and backwards. i want my life to be about right now, so lets talk about right now.
right now i have two days before i move. today i am taking my midterm, cleaning my room, making a physical paper list of my things and where theyre at, and letting myself feel weird. i think ill halfways clean my car too if i get ambitious. i probably will.
my midterm is so stupid, too. not because general psychology is stupid, but because of the professor. i hate this guy.
“no plagiarism, but ai is fine” ??? are you serious?? ai is a plagiarism machine?? stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.
that being said, if i don’t recognize a term, i will be using the internet. i don’t really care about the class anymore for a handful of reasons but im sure ill be dropping it soon. i hate it here!
i need to get up and take it, though. i think ill make a snack and put my shrimp out to defrost.
then hair oil. increasing dryness as ive been writing this.
then after my midterm my room needs to be cleaned. then i need to take inventory of my things im moving with. then i need to check indeed. hopefully my shrimp are ready by indeed’oclock.
if not, i dunno. clean my car, maybe? didn’t i have a list earlier in the entry?
(scrolled to look) (i was right)
ill clean my car, i guess!
i need to get my paws on a carabiner desperately, though. i really want one + it’s way more convenient.
i also hope niko can play minecraft today because i miss him LOL
anyways. if i think of anything more, i’ll use the edit feature.
thats all for now.
