Isn't is unusual for us humans to instantly decide who you never want to meet again?
Anyways, I again bumped into a person on the BCT Showcase day whom I admired the most last year but never wanted to meet him again only because he had perceived my strengths and weaknesses in one glance. I admired him the most out of all because his humor was so strong that it won over my goal I desired to reach within one-year time. Before I mention why I have decided to blog this, I would like to deliver a strong message that us humans see as just words. Seeing through lenses does not always give you the right information but sometimes, all we need is just a new perspective.
Although this message has always just flown over our heads, this person has asked me a simple question which made me revert to what I was and speak for myself from what I was to what I am to make sure he sees “WHY?”. Most people talk from one side without analyzing the other which I don’t question but I feel that sometimes, it is necessary to learn both sides before speaking.
However, he had asked, “How have you changed so quickly from the person who never took life seriously to who takes life as no joke?”. This wasn’t something for me to come up with just a lame answer, but I felt like I needed to keep my comeback as detailed, so he still sees no weaknesses but dedication. My answer was, “Well you see...I needed to go opposite people like you who take things from basic to maximum and do something at a maximum, keeping things complicated to make people get back to you with questions which you are doing now”. This was slightly rude and cheeky, but he understood the backbone of it. The reason I have answered very brutally was because I had already told him what my plan was, but he told me to go through certain steps to achieve what I was willing to and because I found that was useless and time-consuming, I took the shortcut and perused something I was willing to less than a year. This statement is anonymous, but the answer would again be what has been declared above. I did not like his way of working even though I admired him the most was because his way was very one-sided, and did things that don't happen. Simply speaking, it was lame. I am probably wrong at this stage even though the age difference between us is 18 years but him questioning my success wasn’t something I like to openly talk.
It wasn’t just my feelings and thoughts that determined how I answered the question, but it was the skills and experiences I have faced that encouraged me to speak up. I have pushed quite a few people away from my life because they were a total interference into what I wanted to achieve, I’ve spent hundreds on my interest and never the less, given the time needed and extras for myself to keep smiling because that is exactly what I wanted to achieve. Never question until you learn several parts to get a brief understanding. Asking someone a personal question is hurtful as asking for a constructive feedback on yourself or your work because this holds a power of strength and weaknesses to build an image. Asking questions and keeping those as an example for others not only decreases the value of their image but your own image starts changing it colors only because you can’t use your own example but instead, using someone else’s. Be your own role model. Don’t compete and copy, be your own individual and create something unique for others to admire.
According to the research, people ask hurtful personal questions because they’re self-reluctant (L.C.S.W., 2013) and I felt something similar for this person, but this would be nothing compared to what I have experienced from this lady in the family despite the fact that research shows because this lady proves herself wrong. Her statements are always invalid to a point it beats the research. Most people just like to be proven right with their self-disruptive points.
Don’t admire others for what position they hold. Admire them for what they did so you can do things differently but better. This adds a value to the image you hold.
References
L.C.S.W., F. D. (2013, 11 30). psychology today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-couch/201311/why-people-ask-you-awkward-and-annoying-questions
