I just finished reading @furiouspoplar's "Soaking in Cinnamon" fanfic on AO3 last night, cried my eyes out due to the gorgeous, sugary sweet words they wrote, and then proceeded to make a playlist + a cover for said playlist out of adoration for this masterpiece of a fanfic.
Link to the playlist:
Link to "Soaking in Cinnamon", by FuriousPoplar on AO3:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
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Before I post this, I wanted to write a message in honour of this absolute work of art. I'll try to keep it short and sweet because I could talk about this fic for hours. Also, this might contain spoilers, so go read the fic now!!
This fanfic has become one of my all-time-favourites: it has inspired me in so many ways, and it has showed me how a relationship isn't only sustained by love, but that it needs time, patience and a lot of effort from both parts.
Pomni and Ragatha sat down to talk, even knowing that it could be the last time they would be this close... Because they love each other, and they consider their relationship worth fighting for, worth showing up for.
Instead of them playing a game of push and pull against each other, it was them against the back and forth of the ocean, against the heavy waves threatening to swallow them both.
They are two different people, with their respective baggage, their distinctive quirks,,, but with certain similarities and many shared goals; they don't always see eye to eye, and they can hurt themselves and the other in the process, even if those weren't the intentions.
And that's the thing: relationships aren't perfect, and they can't be. The terrain is always not uniform, and the friction builds up enough to trip them over; something so uniquely, intrinsically human.
And they decide to stand in front of a rough, open ocean, hand in hand, ready to take in whatever it has for them. They accept the kismet that comes from being swallowed by the ocean, because they know they will be safe in each other's arms.
As long as this is what they both want, then the unpredictable waves are easier to surf, and the ocean will become more tranquil once again.
They acknowledge that they have hurt each other, and that it is not okay, but they see that the intention to harm wasn't born within them, and come to understand the other.
They know that the tide will come in again eventually, but they make a pact to respect and love the other in the wild ocean that the Circus proves to be time and time again.
I've noticed something while rewatching Zooble and Gangle's conversation from episode 6.
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It's a very subtle detail, but I think it adds so much information about the relationship Gangle and Zooble have and are actively developing.
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The moment their whole scene starts, when the POV is changed from Pomni and Jax to Gangle and Zooble, we can notice that there's no music in the background: it's just silence, a very unadulterated moment of the both of them being together, while also having their own inner turmoil (taking into account how the scene then develops moments later).
Gangle soon after brings her current worries to the table: she is deeply scared of what Jax might do due to her refusing to team up with him and teaming up with Zooble instead.
The atmosphere is still quiet up until Zooble brings up their avatar gimmicks: a very subtle hopeful music starts playing in the background, and it grows in volume as the scene progresses, but never overshadowing the actual scene.
I see this music as a representation of them finally opening up about their struggles, about themselves to the other. The pair have probably already shared moments like this, but this is the topic that defines their very beings, their true essences: a subject so close to their hearts, it is only naturally human that they have reached a new level of emotional closeness, this becoming a new milestone in their relationship.
This whole speech is a reassurance that Gangle needed to hear and that Zooble needed to truly acknowledge, even if what they said is their usual mindset and their way of carrying themself around life.
However, as optimistic and bright as this all sounds, there are still cracks in the actions of both Gangle and Zooble, as well as their interactions.
The hopeful music stops slowly for a bit, replaced a grave bass, almost unnoticeable, after Gangle asks Zooble if they ever had to make the conscious decision of loving themself: we can see in real time how their train of thought comes to a halt.
Zooble now feels exposed, naked to the eyes of Gangle: open for her to see the same flaws that they see in their mirror every morning after waking up and every night before going to sleep. This is something that haunts Zooble ever since coming into the circus, if not before that.
After all, this really is an intentional decision that they, at least, aspire to live by and follow through.
When Gangle tries to rectify what she said, the hopeful music is once again brought back, like what she had just asked didn't really affect their conversation.
This is a window into Gangle's vision of Zooble: she sees them as this very confident, strong and authentic person, like they are wise beyond their sarcastic comments and their couldn't-care-less attitude.
This is shown both through the music we have been talking about, as well as by the visuals.
Due to the image of the sun shining down on Zooble, with them holding an outstretched hand towards her, we can get a glimpse of Gangle's perspective: Zooble as a saviour coming to safe her and shed a light into her conflicted mind, a compassionate soul amongst the chaos of the circus that they now call their home.
Throughout all of this, Gangle fails to see the struggles that come from that very same humanity: she has put Zooble in a pedestal way too high for their own good (and for their liking), that seems to grow with every interaction they have.
She is genuinely not capable of seeing Zooble's inter tumult.
It isn't that she doesn't actually care about them, but quite the opposite: she just sees them in such a good light that anything other than perfect seems untrue.
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All in all, I think the relationship developing between these two characters is very beautiful, and that they can both learn plenty from the other.
Still, the higher the pedestal, the longer the fall: it is up to Gangle if Zooble will land in a soft, comforting surface or if they will end up grievously hurt.
Thank you, guest ao3 user YURI, for leaving this lovely comment in my fanfic,,, it honestly made my day and had me giggling (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
P.S.: go read my fanfic "It's Not Natural, It's Intentional" on ao3, under the username "pretty_cherub_doll"!! The last chapter (Chapter 4) is in the works!! (❁⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)
Here's the link to the first chapter:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I made a playlist for our favourite parental figures, since I will forever yearn for more screen time of both Queenie by herself, and of Kinger and Queenie as a couple (╥ ᴗ ╥)
It's Not Natural, It's Intentional
Chapter 1: "It's Not Natural, It's Intentional"
An Abstragedy fanfic (under the cut)
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
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"How are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just... makes you worse than everyone else?," Gangle asked Zooble, hugging her ribbon legs close to her chest, sitting against the wall.
Time stopped for a moment.
Gangle's question hung in the air for just a mere instant, the answer Zooble had for her being the most transparent truth they had known... So they replied as if it were second nature.
"'Cause it exists."
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What goes through Zooble's mind when nobody, let alone Gangle, is there to witness it?
How high is the pedestal Gangle has placed Zooble on? Will the fall grant them mercy?
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Chapter 1: "It's Not Natural; It's Intentional"
"How are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just... makes you worse than everyone else?," Gangle asked Zooble, hugging her ribbon legs close to her chest, sitting against the wall.
Time stopped for a moment.
They had been looking everywhere for that Tommy Gun Gangle wanted so badly; she had even handed her comedy mask over to Zooble for safekeeping, for when that exact moment came.
Zooble had found that one AK... thing for her, in case they didn't find the masked girl's precious gun, and both of them had been having a heart-to-heart in that huge castle... that for some reason fitted perfectly into the Circus' Tent, as shocking as it may be given its dimensions.
Gangle's question hung in the air for just a mere instant, the answer Zooble had for her being the most transparent truth they had known... So they replied as if it were second nature.
"'Cause it exists," Zooble replied matter-of-factly, looking at Gangle.
"It's a part of you that's real, and the only you that you should care about is the real you." They then stood up.
"You have to choose to love yourself, even if it doesn't make sense. It's not natural; it's intentional."
Over time, they had resigned to accepting both the physical and psychological parts of themself: feeling love towards them sometimes appeared to be impossible, an arduous task, so they deemed the act of accepting it enough for now.
They had struggled with self-expression since before coming into what the circus cast now called their new home. This wasn't anything that they hadn't experienced ever in their life: they had never quite fitted into what society deemed as normative when it came to their gender and their identity. Their body had always seemed at odds with their sense of self, failing to make their existence easier and to portray what they really felt. Something always felt off, no matter how hard they worked on their appearance.
The dysphoria that came from it all seemed to have translated itself into this digital dimension. The box labelled 'Zoobles' in their room felt like a joke; every removable piece seemingly existing only to taunt them, to remind them that, even here, their body would never feel completely acceptable in their own eyes. They had already spiraled into many crises during their stay at the circus, and knew it would likely happen again, almost like a routine.
Caine could provide any body piece he wanted, but it would never be good enough.
The clarity with which they gave their answer didn't come from divine realization (whichever Caine-shaped god in this digital hell that could have granted them that knowledge), but from pure, first-person experience.
Gangle stared at Zooble awestruck, as if they had hung the stars in the sky just for her. Like they had shed a light into that deep cavern Gangle had been trapped in for so long, as if they had all the answers to the secrets of this cruel world.
Rather than taking this new perspective as something irrational or out of place, she timidly welcomed it in: at their words, her worries seemed to dissipate, even if just for a little bit.
"Have... you ever had to make that choice?," Gangle hesitantly broke the silence.
With how confident and level-headed Zooble had been speaking, it was difficult to believe their train of thought came from going through it first-hand, but rather from mere logic. Like a mathematical equation, something easily deduced.
"Huh?" Now, that question caught Zooble completely off guard. Their train of thought came to a halt.
Although they had been speaking from experience, they hadn't been thinking completely about themself, but about Gangle: the sweet girl in front of them, that had struggled with a problem so similar to theirs, yet so different. Who thought that she couldn't be fixed, like she was something that needed fixing.
The girl who thought of herself as unlovable but, despite her beliefs, being the girl that Zooble saw as someone that deserved to be loved and to love herself, just as much as them (if not more). The girl that had so much potential buried deep in herself, and yet didn't let herself shine, hiding behind that mask of hers instead.
That silly girl who they had grown oh so fond of, with her creativity and her doodles... And who they couldn't see with any other eyes than those of adoration and curiosity. They would never get tired of getting to know new things about her.
"S- Sorry. I mean... Hahah...! Of course not, you're... Zooble!" Gangle tried to rectify what she thought was a slip-up. Maybe she shouldn't have asked that. Oopsy daisy...
Zooble had extended their hand towards Gangle, to help her up. However, with the digital sun shining down on them, they looked ethereal, like they could never be mistaken; such a simple action had never looked so heavenly.
She couldn't help the shy, tiny smile that appeared on her face.
They're Zooble! How could the toy box character, the ever-sarcastic character, with such a strong temperament, that spoke their mind so freely... ever have to make the choice of consciously loving themself? Don't be ridiculous, Gangle! Of course not!
Gangle's question had finally registered in the other's mind, and the confidence with which Zooble had been talking faltered, even if for just a second. That question brought the mental spotlight back from their companion to themself, to the issues that seemed to haunt them for eternity.
Zooble looked at their outstretched hand, now really looking at themself. Had that intentional decision of loving every sensical and nonsensical part ever been easy? Would it ever become easier? Would they ever come to love themself?
A ribbon hand wrapped itself around Zooble's hand. And just like that, their worries seemed to quiet down for a moment, even if just for a bit; they would remain shelved for a better time.
Had the ribbon girl noticed their change of demeanor? If she had, it didn't show.
Maybe it was for the better.
"Whatever happens... I've got your back if you've got mine," Zooble offered, after helping Gangle up.
"Yeah. Now let's go kill Pomni and Jax!," exclaimed Gangle excitedly, a coy, mischievous little smirk plastered on her face.
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Hiii friendsss!! ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ
I finally convinced myself to post this fanfic that I have been cooking for almost a month.
It's kinda inspired by my most recent post, that I had also had in my drafts for a month or so before posting it (,,>w<,,)
To summarize what I found, basically I think there is some connection between the music in Zooble's speech scene from episode 6 and what Zooble and Gangle think and feel for each other.
For all that it's worth, I really enjoyed writing this first chapter, and I'll try to release the other ones as soon as possible.
