I'M GIVING U A PROMPT 16 + 27! Can never get enough of reading about these bbies :3
16: First huge fight 27: Forehead touching
This one is angsty... obv. 👀
Twelve months ago, Ellis had brought up the topic of adoption with his husband. Nick had seemed incredibly tentative, avoiding the subject as much as possible while Ellis continued to dream. The subject would continue to come up over dinners, during drives, while they lay in bed at night. It was only after more gentle coaxing from the younger man that Nick finally opened up to the idea.
Ten months ago, they took their first steps towards becoming parents. They'd looked into all the options – surrogates, adoption, foster homes. Ellis was the one taking the reigns the entire time while hooking them up with agencies and filling out too many forms to count. Nick took the backseat, in the meantime distracting himself with more and more visits to casinos.
Six months ago, the agency they'd settled with had told them their application was being considered, and while there were more legal things to iron out in the meantime, they would receive a call when the parental process was cleared and they could start actively looking to adopt.
A week ago, Ellis had found a bundle of letters from the adoption agency shoved behind the fridge. Most of them were asking for references, others were just letters to remind them they were still on file. Didn't truly matter what they were; the point was Nick had deliberately been hiding them.
Ellis had been confused at first, then angry. They hadn't gone through nearly a year of this shit just for Nick to sabotage things at the last second. So, that night, he waited for Nick to come home from his usual hideout at the pool hall, and waved the letters in his face, demanding an explanation.
“Nick. We talked about this,” he followed his husband into the den where the man in question poured himself a whiskey from the cabinet. The stronger stuff. “We filled out all the forms, went to all the interviews and meetings with the agency. I thought you wanted a kid!”
Nick growled and downed the liquid, his back to Ellis. “It's… complicated. Alright?” He turned and pointed at the younger man while holding his glass. “And you're so damn slow, I'd never expect you to understand.”
Ellis was getting more and more pissed off, especially as Nick began falling back into hold habits and took another jibe at his expense. “Then talk to me, man! Break the fuckin' habit of a lifetime, Nick, and talk to me.”
“Look, this whole thing was your idea! I went along with it to shut you up because it was all you fucking talked about, but now it's getting too much for me.” The gambler set down his glass, ran a hand through his hair and braced his hands on the cabinet. “I can't do it.”
Well, he was talking, at least. But Ellis needed to have this all out, right now. “There ya go again, man! This has to all be about you, right? Ain't nothin' or no one in the world matters so long as Nick is happy.” He stepped up to his partner not quite within touching distance. “If ya just stopped and looked around ya for five fuckin' seconds you might see other people's feelings getting hurt.”
Nick swivelled on his feet in an instant, making Ellis flinch in case a glass went flying at him. It didn't, thankfully, Nick wasn't like that. “Feelings? You wanna talk about God-damn feelings, Ellis? Let's talk about how you're gonna feel when our kid gets taken away because I screw it up so badly! Just like my parents did to me.”
“Nick, the hell are you talkin' about?” frowned the mechanic, brow furrowing.
There was a pregnant pause in their argument. Nick's feet were itching like he wanted to bolt. He dropped his shoulders and looked away. “Come on, Ellis, we both know I can't do this. I can't raise a fucking child, I can barely look after you.”
“Real mature.” Ellis rolled his eyes, then jabbed a finger into Nick's chest. “Don't you fuckin' dare make this all about you. What about me, huh? You ever ask yourself why I brought this whole thing up in the first damn place? Because I want this baby with you, Nick. I want to start a family with you, and I know that it's gonna be scary as hell but I know we can do it 'cos we have each other. I mean… do you think I'm ready to do this? 'Cos I ain't! I'm scared as all shit, man!”
Nick snorted and almost smiled, like what Ellis said had been a triumph for him. “See? Looks like I'm not the only coward between us.” With a sigh, he crossed his arms and looked out of their den window. “Then we'll withdraw the application, give it a few years more.”
“No.” The younger man squinted – partly in anger, mostly to try and stop the tears from leaking out. “Not a chance in hell! We've come this far, Nick, I've been sick to my stomach every day just waitin’ and wonderin' and I am not gonna go through this again.” Ellis folded his arms, too. He was not budging. “We're adoptin' this child, whether you're ready or not.”
A brief flash of fear appeared over Nick's eyes for just a moment before he was right back to frustration again. He hung his head. “Fine. Fine!” The older man shouldered past his husband as he went to leave. “But see if I have any part of it!”
Ellis, near enough seeing red at this point, span on his feet to try and catch him as he left. He grabbed Nick's sleeve. “...You-!”
At that moment, as their eyes met again, the phone rang on the coffee table. It shook the mechanic enough to calm down a little, blood coming down from the boil, and moved to answer it but not before shooting Nick a look that promised, this isn't over.
He picked up the receiver all too angrily. “Hello. Oh, hello, y-yeah, this is Ellis.”
The tone in Ellis's voice caused Nick to pause in the doorway, turning his head a little to try and read exactly what that emotion was – but he couldn’t place it.
“Oh.” Ellis's shoulders slumped. “O-okay... Wait, so what does that mean? … Alright, yeah, I understand. Th-thank you. Bye.”
Nick turned back to his lover and watched as Ellis disconnected the call. There was such defeat to his posture that for a moment, he didn't look like Ellis at all. Nick's heart began to pound. “...Overalls?”
The Southerner didn't turn around as he replied, voice quiet. “That was the agency. They've rejected our application.”
There was no way Nick could possibly pinpoint exactly what emotions crashed though him at that moment, however there was one thing he knew he needed to do for certain – hug his husband. “Oh. Damn, shit… Ellis, I'm…” Nick took the few short steps up to Ellis's back, lifting a hand and placing it gently on his shoulder. “I'm sorry.”
Ellis didn't let Nick see his face as he immediately turned and pulled Nick into the hug that he needed just as much. He rubbed his face on the man's shoulder slightly and began to shake with tears. “I-I can't believe it.”
“I know, sweetheart. I… I can't either.” The gambler stared dead ahead as his thoughts raced a mile a minute. He cupped the back of his love's head and gently scratched the scalp to calm him down. He'd got his wish, it seemed. Shouldn't he be relieved? Shouldn't he not be on the verge of tears himself right now? They stood there in that heady silence for a little while longer, all of which time was spent with Nick trying to find his next words. “Hey… we'll be okay, right? We can try again.”
“We don't have to.” Ellis murmured before finally lifting his head – he had a smile on his face. “I lied. They've accepted.”
Ellis wish he could've taken a picture of Nick's face at that moment. The gambler was absolutely stunned as he looked at him “...What did you say?”
Strong hands came up to frame Nick's face, Ellis blinking some more tears out of his eyes. “They accepted our application, man. We're gonna be parents.” The mechanic thought for a hot second that Nick was about to explode, his expression completely unreadable. “Are ya mad?”
Looking back at his husband while his face was being caressed in the way Ellis was so good at, Nick shook his head. “No, I'm not. I'm...”
“Happy?” Ellis grinned.
“Well, one thing at a time.”
Both men gave a small chuckle and leant in closer until their foreheads were resting together. Nick closed his eyes in the silence that surrounded them, especially after such a heated argument, and Ellis did the same as his thumbs delicately brushed over Nick's skin.
When Ellis spoke, his voice was soft as snow. “I know you'd rather take on a million Tanks than become a father, Nick. But we survived a zombie apocalypse together. Raising a lil' baby? That's gonna be a piece o' cake.”
Nick couldn't yet accept that Ellis was right but did smile in response as he opened his eyes. “Just promise you won't let me screw this up.”
“Whatever happens, I'll love ya 'till we're old and gray.” Ellis glanced up to Nick's temple and smiled. “Well… grayer.”
Chuckling, Nick kissed his little husband at the very least to shut him up. At most, because he wanted to. “I love you.”
“Right back at'cha,” Ellis whispered.
