hello i just wanted to express my love for you and your writing today. just had a random thought about experimentation and wanted to let you know how much i love it p.s. i have followed you for forever but somehow i had, unbeknownst to me, unfollowed you, so i am deeply sorry lmao
LOL I’ll forgive you, this time. ;) And thank you so much! That’s so awesome to think that people just... randomly think about my fic during the day! <3
a playlist of songs that you listen to at max volume with the windows rolled down on a summer day when you’re in a great mood and scream-sing (i can’t think of a name you gotta help me here but i’ve given you the mood)
this is the best here we go
hand in my pocket - alanis morissette // no more sad songs - little mix // IDGAF - dua lipa // (one of those) crazy girls - paramore // woman - kesha // homemade dynamite - lorde // don’t kill my vibe - sigrid // send my love (to your new lover) - adele // girls / fast cars - the wombats // it’s always better - i hate kate // american teen - khalid
send me an imaginary playlist title and i’ll make the playlist
Happy holidays from your no longer secret santa, @prettylittlesestras!
Chloe was excited. Since they weren’t speaking during the holidays last year, because of the whole quitting thing, this would be the first time Chloe would get to celebrate her favorite holiday with her favorite person! Knowing how tense things were for Beca with her father, she figured the girl would be staying in the Bella house for Christmas. Which is why she begged off going home to see her parents and brother this year. So, excited was probably an understatement. Chloe was ecstatic. Until she saw Beca start packing a week before the holiday.
“Hey, whatcha up to?” she asked as she bounced into the brunette’s room.
“Packing to head home. You going down to Florida?”
“Oh, um, not this year no…” she trailed off. Beca looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.
“How come?”
“I just… well I thought you were staying here because of your dad, and I didn’t want you to be alone…” Beca quickly moved back out of her closet at the admission, fixing Chloe with an incredulous stare.
“Wait, for real? You blew off your family to keep me company?” When the redhead nodded, Beca shook her head with a laugh. “Okay, weirdo. Go pack your stuff. And it’s snowing, so keep that in mind.”
“Pack my stuff? I just told you-”
“Yeah, no, I’m not gonna leave you stranded when you decided to stay for me or whatever. So, go pack your stuff, you’re coming to Oregon with me. And don’t even try to argue, my mom wants to meet you anyway,” she added when she saw the redhead prepare to say something. Chloe was the only person she had ever felt so comfortable around. And maybe it filled her stomach with butterflies that she had decided to stay to prevent Beca from being alone. And maybe it made Beca feel like maybe she had a real shot with the girl. And maybe she wanted to introduce her closest friend to her mom and family. Maybe.
“Your mom won’t mind? I don’t wanna crash your celebration.” Beca sighed as she moved from her bag to stand in front of her.
“Chloe, of course you can come. You’re like, my best friend. I’ve… never really had one before, so like, my mom wanted to meet you at some point anyway, because you got me out of my shell, or whatever,” she said shyly. The awkwardness she had felt with the admission was well worth it to see the bright smile on Chloe’s face as the girl squealed happily, then jumped into her, wrapping her arms around her tightly.
“I’m so excited! I can’t wait!”
“Ok nerd!” Beca called after her as she ran to her room to pack. This would be an interesting trip.
The flight had been boring, seeing as they both slept through it. As Beca was grabbing their bags, slapping Chloe’s outstretched hand away, a loud voice rang out.
“Bumblebee!” A brunette woman had yelled. Beca smiled and whipped her head around. She dropped the bags and ran at the woman, launching herself into her. She was only a few inches taller than Beca, and Chloe could see the woman was her mother, since they looked almost exactly the same. Once she was back on her own feet, Beca realized she had dropped their stuff and picked it up while gesturing the redhead over.
“Chlo, this is my mom, Linda. Mama, this is Chloe,” she introduced. To Chloe’s surprise, the woman drew her into a hug.
“It’s great to meet you, Chloe! I’ve heard so much about you!”
“It’s great to meet you too,” she replied. As her mother started talking to Chloe, Beca watched with a fond smile. She missed her mom like crazy, and she was glad that she liked Chloe. If the redhead’s surprised smile was anything to go by, the feeling was mutual. Beca opted to sit in the back with Chloe once they got to the car, and she asked her mom the dreaded question.
“So, who all made it this year? I figure we’re the last to show up?” Her mom hummed.
“Yeah, you’re fashionably late, as usual. Let’s see, your sister and her family, your aunt and her family, Uncle Josh, Grams and Gramps…” She trailed off, making Beca tense.
“How many of the cousins made it?”
“Oh, you know, Jason, Maddie, Liv, Brandy, and Peter.” Beca’s mother cackled when Beca groaned. Chloe had no idea the brunette had such a large family. She had kind of assumed Beca didn’t have much family. At her look of confusion, Beca clarified.
“Right, so, my family should all love you. The only problem is my cousins, who are all assholes. To me specifically.”
“Oh stop exaggerating!” Her mom added. “They do love to tease you though.”
“About what?”
“Oh, uh, I’m the only cousin that… likes girls. Which they find hilarious, since they can all talk about boys and I would rather not.” Beca’s face had gone red, knowing that, while she didn’t hide it, she didn’t really make an effort to tell anyone either. She’s only liked one girl since she came to Barden, and said girl is currently sitting, like, three inches from her.
“Wait, what! Why’d you never tell me that? CR and I totally thought we were the only sapphics in the house,” she pouted playfully. Beca just nudged her with her shoulder with a shrug.
“I wasn’t hiding it or anything. It just… never came up.” Chloe nodded, bumping her shoulder back playfully with a smile. A few minutes later, they pulled up to Beca’s childhood home.
“Oh, Beca, do you and Chloe mind sharing your room? We’re a little short on space since so many made it out this year.”
“Nope, we’re cool,” she said with no hesitation. She and Chloe had shared a bed far more than once; they’d be fine.
“Alright, well, once you get your stuff settled, you can come introduce Chloe to the family.”
“Sure thing ma,” she replied, ushering Chloe down the hall and into her bedroom. It was slate grey with white baseboards. Her room was covered with band and musician posters, concert photos and signed memorabilia, and loads of pictures of her and her family.
“I didn’t know you were so close to your family, Becs.” Beca’s brows furrowed.
“What d’you mean? I talk about my sister Sarah all the time. And my aunts Danielle and Rin.” Chloe’s jaw dropped. Beca had talked about all those people rather frequently.
“Maybe you should have told me at some point that they were related to you!” Chloe said with a wide smile.
“I thought I did. My bad,” she said with a shy smile. “So, ready for the inquisition?” Chloe nodded with another smile. Chloe grabbed Beca’s hand and laced their fingers as Beca directed them to the backyard, and the brunette didn’t even think about it. They did it pretty much all the time, so she wasn’t phased by it. As they stepped out, there was a chorus of people yelling Beca’s name or some nickname of hers. Beca smiled at them, then gestured to Chloe.
“Hey guys! This is Chloe Beale, my best friend and co-captain of the Bellas.” Beca walked them around, greeting her various family members and introducing Chloe properly. They were about to move to the group of people that looked their age when someone jumped onto Beca from behind.
“You sneaky bitch! You think you could get away without seeing me!” Beca shouted in surprise, but caught the girl’s legs from below so she didn’t fall nonetheless.
“Sarah! What the fuck have I told you about jumping on me? One of these days I am going to just let you fall on your ass!”
“Ah no you won’t. You love me too much, sis,” she said smugly as she dropped onto the floor. Beca turned around and punched her sister in the arm with a barely contained smile.
“Asshole.”
“Pot. Kettle. Anyway, who is this?” She said, looking at Chloe, who stepped in then.
“Hi, I’m Chloe! Beca’s told me so much about you.”
“Oh! You’re, Chloe, huh? Beca’s definitely mentioned you before,” she said with a smirk directed at her younger sister, turning her face bright red.
“Alright, that’s enough. Where’s Tommy and baby Lou?”
“I here auntie B!” The little boy shouted as he ran at Beca. Chloe watched with undisguised awe as Beca scooped up the maybe four year old boy and tickled him with her free hand.
“There you are! I missed you. You’re so big, you’re gonna be bigger than me in no time!”
“But you’re tiny, auntie B,” he said through his giggles. Beca’s jaw fell when her sister started cackling. The boy wiggled out of her grasp and started running around before she could respond. Chloe walked over and wrapped her arm around the brunette’s shoulder, whispering to her.
“It’s okay. I love that you’re tiny.” Beca’s face went red again, and Chloe smiled.
“Nerd,” Beca responded fondly. Chloe shrugged and kissed her cheek before bouncing toward the patio to get something to drink, Beca following a few steps behind. She saw her mother, and her two favorite aunts, watching her and Chloe’s interactions closely. Her aunt Danielle looked at her pointedly while Chloe was distracted, and Beca made a cut throat gesture. Of course her mother and her two gay aunts knew about her feelings for Chloe. As if the way she acted around the redhead wasn’t a big enough rainbow flag for her family to know she was head over heels in love. Which she had never been before. Her aunt put her hands up in a surrender gesture, so Beca turned back to Chloe, who was carrying a drink for both of them. She handed Beca her drink with a silent smile.
“So, are you going to introduce me to the infamous cousins?”
“Not if I can avoid it,” Beca muttered, taking a sip of her drink. Beca heard Rin, her aunt Danielle’s wife, call out for Chloe. The two of them both looked up, but Chloe looked to Beca.
“Go ahead. If they meant me they would have said me, I’m sure,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Okay. You know where I’ll be then,” she chirped, making her way over to Beca’s aunts and mom. As soon as Chloe sat down, Beca was grabbed from behind and being dragged away with a hand over her mouth. She fought for all of ten seconds before rolling her eyes and biting the hand over her mouth.
“Ow! She fucking bit me!”
“Damn right I did, you bitch,” Beca responded to her cousin Brandy, who had been the one that grabbed her. “You all know better than to grab me if you want your limbs and nuts left in tact,” she said to the group of cousins that was gathered in the garden on the side of the house.
“Yeah, yeah. Big bad Beca’s gonna get me, whatever. Now, tell us about the girl you brought with you! Who is she? You two look awfully comfortable,” her very stereotypically gay cousin Peter asked.
“Chloe? She’s, like, my best friend. Co-captain of my club,” she said with a shrug. All five cousins looked at her with disbelieving expressions.
“Right,” Peter said, dragging out the word. “And I’m the captain of the football team.” Beca scoffed.
“Beca, we’ve been watching you two. Don’t even try to deny the fact that you two are together,” Madison added, making Beca groan.
“We are not!”
“Bu you want to be,” Olivia said softly. “You want to be with her, don’t you?”
“What is with you guys? Chloe is my best friend, why can’t you just leave it alone?”
“Because it’s obvious that you like her, just admit it!” Jason said. Beca stepped toward him threateningly as she responded.
“Fine! I like her! The only friend I’ve ever really had, and I fucking like her! Happy?!” Jason’s condescending smirk made her want to punch him, so she turned to leave. Her anger left her body instantly as she saw Chloe standing a few feet behind her, staring at her with a dropped jaw. Beca half screamed in irritation as she stormed away from her asshole cousins. She grabbed Chloe’s hand as she passed and dragged the redhead with her as she went straight into the house and to her bedroom. Slamming the door, Beca started pacing her bedroom, muttering under her breath.
“Can’t believe… murder him… like this… god damnit.” On her maybe tenth or eleventh turn, Chloe caught her by her shoulders. Beca huffed, her head dropping as she stared at the floor.
“So, those are my cousins,” she said blankly.
“Beca… is- is what you said true? Do you like me?”
“I- well, I mean, yeah, but it’s not a big deal, or anything. I’m not gonna make things weird between us, cuz you’re still my friend, so it’s totally fine, and we can-” Beca was cut off by Chloe putting her hand over her mouth. She looked up at her for the first time since her outburst with her cousins. And she saw Chloe smiling softly at her.
“Bec, I like you too,” was all she said. Beca’s eyes bugged out. “Yes, seriously. I have for a long time,” she said with an eyeroll at the brunette’s surprise. Beca tugged at the hand over her mouth, and Chloe let her move it. She was glad she did when Beca didn’t drop her hand, and instead laced their fingers together.
“So… does that mean that I can kiss you?” Beca asked, lightly drawing circles on the redhead’s palm. Chloe’s blinding smile was all the answer she needed to lean forward and press their lips together softly. After a few seconds, Beca pulled back, smiling like an idiot. But it was okay because Chloe looked a lot like she did.
“I guess now I know who I’ll be kissing under the mistletoe,” Beca said with a smirk.
“You don’t need the excuse of mistletoe to kiss me.” Beca smiled.
“No. I guess I don’t.” They were silent for a ew moments. “Chlo?”
“Hmm?”
“Be my girlfriend?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” she responded giddily. Beca leaned in and kissed her again.
“I’m glad you invited me to come home with you for Christmas.”
“Me too. You’re the best Christmas gift ever.” Chloe blushed with a smile.
“Shut up and kiss me,” Chloe whispered to her. So she did. Silently Chloe agreed with her.
Kady turned her head just in time to see a familiar face walking into the bar and quickly approaching.
“Julia Wicker. How long has it been? Two years?” Julia and Kady had been roommates years ago at Brakebills, but neither girl had been able to get in contact with the other since Kady left the school. At first, Kady didn’t want to talk to anyone from Brakebills. She decided to leave Brakebills for many reasons, and although it had been the right choice, it didn’t mean that she didn’t hurt every day because of it. She kept her distance because talking to her friends at Brakebills would only make the pain of leaving sting much more than it already did. After the initial shock of being back on her own in the real world, she longed for the movie nights, endless laughs, and all-night, spell-casting study sessions that she and Julia had. In the time that they had known each other, they had become the best of friends. After countless failed attempts at contacting each other, they both eventually gave up and tried to move on.
“It’s been way too long.” Julia smiles and pulls up a chair beside Kady. Seeing Kady again, she is forced to remember the heartbreak she felt two years ago when she found out that Kady left Brakebills. She remembers how it felt like a piece of her was missing as she walked to class alone, and she can’t forget every sleepless night she suffered through, laying awake wondering if Kady was okay. She remembers how every time she opened the door to their room, her heart plunged into her stomach as she was hit again and again with the realization that her best friend was gone.
Remembering the bad times is easy, but remembering the good times comes even more effortlessly. Julia’s mind is flooded with a multitude of happy memories including long walks around campus and their weekend trips to a bar much like the one they’re sitting in now. Although she had plenty of great memories with Kady, remembering the good times hurt almost as much as remembering the bad. As much as she’s tried, Julia can’t forget the nights they stayed up all night talking. They’d talk for hours about anything and everything. Nights turned into mornings; sitting turned into laying, and laying turned into cuddling for what little sleep they managed to get before class. Kady always talked about how much she hated cuddling, but she was notorious for climbing into Julia’s bed and snuggling up next to her. Julia had wanted to call her out on it, but she loved seeing Kady like that, completely at ease.
Thinking back on the time they spent together, Julia can’t shake the feeling that there was more between them than just friendship. Julia told Kady her deepest secrets, and Kady had told Julia that she was the only person in her life with whom she could let down all of her walls and simply just be Kady. Julia was her truest self around Kady, and she knew Kady felt the same. When she had had a little too much to drink or in the early hours of the morning, Kady always became touchier and much more loving with Julia, but Julia always brushed it off. ‘There’s no way Kady feels that way about me. I’m just projecting,’ Julia would think. She pushed her feelings down into the deepest depths of her mind, desperately hoping that if she just kept pushing, her feelings would eventually disappear. Tonight was no different. The moment she stepped into the bar and saw that head full of curly, brown hair, she tried to ignore the feelings she’d fought so hard to abandon years ago. She was back with her best friend, and she wouldn’t complicate that by bringing up thoughts of what might’ve been.
Julia flagged down the bartender and ordered a beer for herself and another for Kady. The two talked for hours, but to Julia, it felt like only minutes. Julia looked down at her watch and was surprised to see how late it had gotten.
“I really should be getting home. It’s so late, and you probably have an early day tomorrow,” Julia said while standing up from her barstool.
“We really should get together again soon. I’ve missed this–us. I’ve missed you,” Kady said quietly, remaining seated. Julia walked slowly to the door.
“Julia wait–”
Julia turned around to see Kady getting out of her barstool to follow after her.
“Do you want to go somewhere with me? I don’t want to say goodbye so soon after being apart for so long, and I have something I want to show you,” Kady said with a sigh.
“I’d love to,” Julia muttered, almost too delighted to squeak out a response. Kady took her by the hand and led her to her car.
Julia couldn’t wipe the smirk off of her face as she sat in the passenger seat of Kady’s car. The all-black interior was typical Kady, but what surprised Julia was the scent of watermelon radiating from her air freshener.
“What are you smiling about?” Kady asked with a laugh.
“Watermelon? Really? You never let me light my watermelon candles in our room without giving me hell about it,” Julia replied, smiling even bigger than before.
Kady rolled her eyes. “You loved watermelon, though. Back at school, I couldn’t escape it. Your shampoo, your lotion, and all of those candles you insisted on placing on every flat surface in our room. I thought I’d never be able to chew a piece of watermelon gum again, but after I left, I don’t know. I guess I missed it. I bought a watermelon air freshener for my car a couple weeks after leaving Brakebills because it reminded me of you, and I guess I just never stopped. Two years and eighteen packs of car fresheners later, and here I am.”
Julia laughed. ‘Same old Kady,’ she thought. She was somehow so different but still so much the same.
Kady put the car into reverse and backed out of the parking spot. It took about ten minutes to get to their destination, but the ride was nice; It was like old times. Kady drove quietly while Julia hummed the tune of every song that came on the radio. Kady couldn’t help but smile as she watched Julia. It didn’t matter that it had been over two years since they had seen each other. Things fell right back into place for the two of them.
“Are we going where I think we’re going?” Julia asked as she stared out the window in disbelief.
“You’ll see. We’re almost there,” Kady said, grinning as she looked over at Julia. Kady parked the car and got out, and Julia followed, even in the darkness knowing exactly where they were.
“Wow. I haven’t thought about this place in years,” Julia beamed. She walked around the park, remembering the weekly trips the two of them had made more than two years prior. Not much had changed. There were a few more flowers here and there, and a new swing or two had been added, but all things considered, the park looked generally consistent with how Julia remembered it. The big oak tree that the two sat under to study still stood in the middle of the park, looking slightly bigger than Julia remembered.
“I come here a lot,” Kady said quietly. “It’s peaceful and helps me to remember the times when we were back at Brakebills and everything was simple.” Kady started to walk down the hill towards the lake at the edge of the park, so Julia followed. They got to the dock and sat down, their feet dangling over the water. The two sat in silence for several minutes just watching the moonlight bounce off the lake. Julia laid down on her back to look up at the stars, feet still swaying back and forth above the water. Kady laid down beside her, and Julia couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so at peace. For the first time in months, maybe even years, everything in her life seemed to be right where it was supposed to be.
“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?” Julia asked, staring up to the stars and breaking the silence. Kady didn’t answer but instead smiled and placed her hand in Julia’s. The warmth of Kady’s hand in hers spread through Julia’s body like a shot of whiskey. Kady turned over onto her side, staring at Julia and looking as if she wanted to say something but not knowing exactly what she wanted to say. Julia mirrored her movements and waited. She was in no rush to make Kady say what was on her mind. Julia knew that Kady always needed time to collect her thoughts before speaking about something that was bothering her; everything would come out in due time.
“Julia, I just—,” Kady whispered, stopping abruptly. She shook her head as if to remove the thought from her mind. She looked back up at the sky for a moment, but then turned back over and cupped Julia’s cheek with her hand. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Julia’s lips.
Kady pulled back and Julia’s heart beat rapidly in disbelief. Kady looked at Julia and quickly added, “I’m not really good with words, but I’ve wanted to do that for years.” Julia laughed and pulled Kady in for another kiss, reveling in the one thing she’s wanted for so long. Julia couldn’t stop herself from smiling, partly because she just kissed her best friend, someone she’s only ever dreamed about kissing, and partly because she could still taste the watermelon lip gloss from Kady’s lips.